Showing category "0.09% Cocktails" (Show all posts)

REVIEW: The Girl on the Train Is a Mysteriously Dull Whodunnit

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, October 15, 2016, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Girl on the Train

Directed By: Tate Taylor

Starring: Emily Blunt, Rebecca Ferguson, Haley Bennett, Justin Theroux, Luke Evans, Allison Janney, Édgar Ramírez, and Lisa Kudrow

The 2016 awards season is off to its unofficial start (it really begins in earnest next month by most standards), and I have an interesting prediction this year. For the better part of this decade, we've had knockout films that have garnered a whole hell of a lot of prestige released in this month. Think 12 Years A S...

REVIEW: From Treadstone to Ironhand & Deep Dream, Jason Bourne Explores His Connection to Richard Webb

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, July 31, 2016, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Jason Bourne

Directed By: Paul Greengrass

Starring: Matt Damon, Tommy Lee Jones, Alicia Vikander, Vincent Cassel, Julia Stiles, and Riz Ahmed

The 2016 summer blockbuster season has been littered with big budget disappointments, especially when it comes to reboots of dormant or long-running franchises. Bryan Singer went up to bat and struck out with X-Men: Apocalypse, his latest installment in Fox's aging mutant franchise. Roland Emmerich returned twenty years too late in Independence Day: Resu...

REVIEW: Down to the Earth's Magma Core, Independence Day: Resurgence Wants But Doesn't Quite Get One Happy Fourth of July

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, June 26, 2016, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Independence Day: Resurgence

Directed By: Roland Emmerich

Starring: Liam Hemsworth, Jeff Goldblum, Bill Pullman, Maika Monroe, Travis Tope, William Fichtner, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Judd Hirsch, Jessie Usher, Brent Spiner, Vivica A. Fox, and Angelababy

LinkedIn has a way of reminding us all of certain milestones in our lives. This week for me, it's been the fact that my pride and joy Sobriety Test Movie Reviews has been around for five long years serving up film critiques and drink selections. I...

REVIEW: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows – Surf’s Up New York

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, June 12, 2016, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Dave Green

Starring: Megan Fox, Stephen Amell, Will Arnett, Brian Tee, Tyler Perry, Brittany Ishibashi, and Laura Linney

Michael Bay tackles yet another famous cartoon franchise. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows is better than many of the Transformers’ films, but that is not saying much. Director Dave Green has a lighter touch than Bay, so the film has fun moments. However, there is no need to rush t...

REVIEW: In Now You See Me 2, Seeing Is Believing for the Four Horsemen & Their Leader Dylan Shrike on New Year's Eve

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, June 12, 2016, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Now You See Me 2

Directed By: Jon M. Chu

Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Mark Ruffalo, Woody Harrelson, Dave Franco, Daniel Radcliffe, Lizzy Caplan, Jay Chou, Sanaa Lathan, Michael Caine, and Morgan Freeman

The magic of Harry Potter is coming back to life on the stage and screen this year. The forward-looking sequel Harry Potter and the Cursed Child has just arrived on stage. The backward-looking Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them will arrive in theaters in November. While the boy who lived i...

REVIEW: Whether X-Men or Four Horsemen, Apocalypse's Children Unleash Their Power To No Avail

Posted by James Brown on Friday, May 27, 2016, In : 0.09% Cocktails

X-Men: Apocalypse

Directed By: Bryan Singer

Starring: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Oscar Isaac, Nicholas Hoult, Rose Byrne, Tye Sheridan, Sophie Turner, Olivia Munn, Lucas Till, Evan Peters, Kodi Smit-McPhee, and Alexandra Shipp

I'm starting to think that the final installment in X-Men trilogies is cursed because the third time is apparently not the charm for Fox's prequel trilogy. Some ten years ago on Memorial Day weekend, I saw X-Men: The Last Stand. At the time, I t...

REVIEW: Stand or Fall Together Against Ravenna & Freya, The Love of Eric & Sara in The Huntsman: Winter's War Doesn't Conquer All

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 24, 2016, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Huntsman: Winter's War

Directed By: Cedric Nicolas-Troyan

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Charlize Theron, Emily Blunt, Nick Frost, Sam Claflin, Rob Brydon, and Jessica Chastain

I don't exactly frequent Rotten Tomatoes, but there seems to be no middle ground these days. Movies are either universally acclaimed or universally loathed. Hardly any movies are landing anywhere between 30% and 79% these days. Movies like The Jungle Book and Zootopia comfortably fall in the former category while Batma...

REVIEW: Because Money Talks & BS Walks, The Boss Michelle Darnell & Her Darlings Serve Up Half-Baked Brownies to Renault (Ronald)

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 10, 2016, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Boss

Directed By: Ben Falcone

Starring: Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Bell, Peter Dinklage, Ella Anderson, Tyler Labine, Annie Mumolo, Kristen Schaal, Margo Martindale, and Kathy Bates

Since the release of Bridesmaids some five years ago now, Melissa McCarthy has been an unstoppable force on the big screen. The proof is in the pudding of her filmography. She's had some quality films in recent years. Just look to films such as The Heat, St. Vincent, and Spy. There's a flip side to the McCarth...

REVIEW: London Has Fallen Falls Short Of Olympus

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, March 6, 2016, In : 0.09% Cocktails

London Has Fallen
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Babak Nafaji

Starring: Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman, Alon Moni Aboutboul, Angela Bassett, Robert Forster, Melissa Leo, and Radha Mitchell

Olympus Has Fallen debuted in 2013 and was a box office hit. Audiences of various ages loved the premise and gravitated towards the movie. It delivered action, great special effects, and a compelling protagonist. Given its success, of course, filmmakers decided to give us a sequel. Unfortunatel...

REVIEW: An Upside Down Tree, Jane Got a Gun Doesn't Exactly Ride Up the Ridge to Victory

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 7, 2016, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Jane Got a Gun

Directed By: Gavin O'Connor

Starring: Natalie Portman, Joel Edgerton, Noah Emmerich, Rodrigo Santoro, Boyd Holbrook, and Ewan McGregor

Making a movie trailer has to be a challenging art. The men and women that make these trailers have to make a film worth moviegoers' time and money with just a brief two-minute snippet of the movie at hand. They must convey the essence of the film without revealing too many key plot details. They must make a film seem terrific even when it isn't...

REVIEW: With the Power of Soap Opera Character Danica & the Next Tom Jones, Joy Becomes Friends in Commerce With QVC Executive Neil Walker

Posted by James Brown on Monday, December 28, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Joy

Directed By: David O. Russell

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Robert De Niro, Édgar Ramírez, Diane Ladd, Virginia Madsen, Isabella Rossellini, Dascha Polanco, and Bradley Cooper

Recurring actor-director collaborations happen fairly often. We call the actors in these collaborations the directors' muses. Alfred Hitchcock had James Stewart (and his blonds). Martin Scorsese had Robert De Niro (and now Leonardo DiCaprio). Steven Spielberg has Tom Hanks. Quentin Tarantino has Samuel L. Jackson...

REVIEW: The Danish Girl Entirely Her Violet Self, Lili / Einar Proves That Married People Are Easily Shocked

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, December 22, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Danish Girl

Directed By: Tom Hooper

Starring: Eddie Redmayne, Alicia Vikander, Matthias Schoenaerts, Ben Whishaw, Sebastian Koch, and Amber Heard

On paper, The Danish Girl has a winning formula. We've got the filmmaker behind The King's Speech and Les Misérables directing Oscar winner and future Harry Potter torchbearer Eddie Redmayne (The Theory of Everything, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them) and current Hollywood "it girl" Alicia Vikander (Ex Machina, Testament of Youth, The Man ...

REVIEW: The Peanuts Movie – Nostalgia And Great Dancing Cannot Save The Lovable Loser Charlie Brown

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Wednesday, November 11, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Peanuts Movie
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Steve Martino

Starring: Kristin Chenoweth, Bill Melendez, Hadley Belle Miller, and Noah Schnapp

When I first saw The Peanuts Movie trailer, a wave of nostalgia washed over me. I grew up watching Charlie Brown specials every holiday season. The comic strips and cartoons have a warm place in my heart. At the same time, I wondered whether Charlie Brown would translate on the big screen at a time when we are inundated with animated fare. The Peanuts ...

REVIEW: With Synergy 51N3RG-Y But Fearing the Unknown, Jem and the Holograms Doesn’t Quite Uncover the Mystery or the Dismal Mediocrity of Starlight Enterprises

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, October 25, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Jem and the Holograms

Directed By: Jon M. Chu

Starring: Aubrey Peeples, Stefanie Scott, Hayley Kiyoko, Aurora Perrineau, Juliette Lewis, Ryan Guzman, and Molly Ringwald

Other than Back to the Future Day, it's safe to say that films not named Star Wars are hardly getting any love this week. With sites crashing, world records breaking, and tickets being scalped for as much as $10,000, it's safe to say that Star Wars is dominating the pop culture landscape once again. That's why I'm less than sho...

REVIEW: The Gift – Some Interesting Twists, But Otherwise A Bit Dull

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Wednesday, August 12, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Gift
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Joel Edgerton

Starring: Jason Bateman, Rebecca Hall, Joel Edgerton, Wendell Pierce, and Busy Philipps

Billed as this generation’s Fatal Attraction, The Gift opened this weekend to rave reviews. While the film does pack a few surprises for audiences, the movie does not live up to expectations. The Gift serves as more of a public service announcement than a psychological thriller.

Simon (Jason Bateman) has a high powered new position in a security/technology ...

REVIEW: Despite the Silk Night Sky of Ricki and the Flash, Meryl Streep Doesn't Rock Here

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, August 12, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Ricki and the Flash

Directed By: Jonathan Demme

Starring: Meryl Streep, Kevin Kline, Mamie Gummer, Audra McDonald, Sebastian Stan, Rick Springfield, and Ben Platt

There is no one in Hollywood right now who can touch Meryl Streep. With nineteen Oscar nods and counting, the sky's the limit for the iconic actress. I'd argue that this late period of her career has been one of her most productive times on the big screen. The proof is in just how much product she's been putting out in recent years....

REVIEW: When Captain Nemo Takes His Baxter Foundation Fellows Through the Quantum Gate to Planet Zero, The Fantastic Four Fail to Emerge

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 8, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Fantastic Four

Directed By: Josh Trank

Starring: Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan, Kate Mara, Jamie Bell, Toby Kebbell, Reg E. Cathey, and Tim Blake Nelson

On paper, the Fantastic Four reboot has everything going for it. It has the up-and-coming director of the superhero mockumentary Chronicle. It has the young stars of films like Whiplash, Fruitvale Station, and The Spectacular Now. It has low expectations to beat relative to the original entries some ten years ago. With all this in mind, I ...

REVIEW: Minions – Hey, Hey It’s The Minions, But Gru Is Missing

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Wednesday, July 15, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Minions
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Kyle Balda, Pierre Coffin

Starring: Sandra Bullock, Jon Hamm, Michael Keaton, Allison Janney, Steve Coogan, and Geoffrey Rush

The Despicable Me franchise is one of the most successful animated series of all time. The films are well made with interesting plots and fast-paced, biting dialogue. As characters, the minions have been an integral part of the Despicable Me movies. However, the focus of the films has largely been on Steve Carrell’s lead character ...
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REVIEW: During The Overnight, Kurt & Charlotte Make New Friends in Alex & Emily With Their Expansion Courtesy of Mommy's Milk

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, July 12, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Overnight

Directed By: Patrick Brice

Starring: Adam Scott, Taylor Schilling, Jason Schwartzman, and Judith Godrèche

We've been overdue for some weird ones at the box office. We've had quirky movies but not those kinds of strikingly weird movies that render moviegoers speechless. I'm talking about the kinds of movies that leave you wondering what the hell you're watching on the big screen and why you ever would have paid good money to see something like them in the first place. Well, my l...
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REVIEW: I'll See You In My Dreams With An Appletini & A Black Rat

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, June 14, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

I'll See You In My Dreams

Directed By: Brett Haley

Starring: Blythe Danner, Martin Starr, Sam Elliott, Malin Akerman, June Squibb, Rhea Perlman, and Mary Kay Place

I'm one who frequently espouses the notion that we go to the movies and get exposed to different worlds, different cultures, and different ways of thinking. While I certainly still cling to this belief, I'd also argue that we go to the movies to escape from the reality of our own lives. We catch a flick after a long day at work. We...
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REVIEW: San Andreas – A Disaster Movie For Conservatives

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, May 31, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

San Andreas
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Brad Peyton

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Carla Gugino, Alexandra Daddario, Ioan Gruffudd, Archie Panjabi, and Paul Giamatti

After last week’s disappointing Memorial Day box office, this weekend movie-goers are being treated to a summer movie staple: the disaster flick. Audiences love to see tornadoes, volcanoes, and uncontrollable natural disasters wreaking havoc. We are entertained by buildings falling apart, iconic landmarks being leveled and the ultima...
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REVIEW: In Poltergeist, This House Is Not Clean

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, May 24, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Poltergeist

Directed By: Gil Kenan

Starring: Sam Rockwell, Rosemarie DeWitt, Jared Harris, and Jane Adams

The end of an era has come. It's the real thing. Buying the world a coke and concluding the story of Don Draper, Mad Men has ended its incredible seven season run. While I'll certainly miss this truly one-of-a-kind show, the thing that's on my mind this weekend is a long forgotten partner of Sterling Cooper Draper Price. That's right. I'm talking about Lane Price and the man who portray...
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REVIEW: Tomorrowland Is Full of Dreamers Who Try to Feed the Right Wolf

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 23, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Tomorrowland

Directed By: Brad Bird

Starring: George Clooney, Hugh Laurie, Britt Robertson, Raffey Cassidy, Tim McGraw, Kathryn Hahn, and Keegan-Michael Key

Summer 2015 has brought with it a strong run at the box office so far. Avengers: Age of Ultron, Pitch Perfect 2, and Mad Max: Fury Road have all made loads of cash at the box office. As we kick off Memorial Day weekend, I believe we've found our first duds of the summer movie season. Interestingly enough, one of them comes from Disney, on...
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REVIEW: Hot Pursuit – The Joke? Sofia Vergara Is Old & Reese Witherspoon Is Short

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, May 9, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Hot Pursuit
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Anne Fletcher

Starring: Reese Witherspoon, Sofia Vergara, Robert Zakinsky, and Richard T. Jones

Presumably in an effort to offer an alternative to Avengers: Age of Ultron, Warner Brothers released a female buddy comedy this week, Hot Pursuit. At first glance, the pairing of Academy Award winner Reese Witherspoon with television darling Sofia Vergara seems like a grand idea. Witherspoon, while known for her dramatic turns, has found success with comedies ...
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REVIEW: Never Have I Ever Seen Petulant Teens Whine Like They Do on Skype Video Calls in Unfriended

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, April 21, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Unfriended

Directed By: Levan Gabriadze

Starring: Shelley Hennig, Moses Jacob Storm, Renee Olstead, Will Peltz, Jacob Wysocki, Courtney Halverson, and Heather Sossaman

Modern Family tried something rather interesting earlier this season. The ABC sitcom did an episode with a rather unique premise. They did an episode entirely on video chat. It was a creative risk that paid off. That format just made its way to the big screen with this past weekend's Unfriended. While this variation on the mo...
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REVIEW: For the Klimt Painting “Woman in Gold” & the Memory of Her Aunt Adele, Austrian Maria Altmann Gives Us A Lesson in Art Restitution

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 19, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Woman in Gold

Directed By: Simon Curtis

Starring: Helen Mirren, Ryan Reynolds, Daniel Brühl, Katie Holmes, Tatiana Maslany, Max Irons, Charles Dance, Elizabeth McGovern, and Jonathan Pryce

A couple of years ago, I fumed in a series of reviews about having had enough of WWII-themed movies. As much as I hate to admit it, I might have been wrong. There are many facets to the Second Great War, and there might just be a few of them left untold on the big screen. In the last couple of years, filmm...
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REVIEW: In True Story, Shortstop Christian Longo Gives Mike Finkel of The New York Times a Double Negative Wink

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 19, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

True Story

Directed By: Rupert Goold

Starring: Jonah Hill, James Franco, Felicity Jones, Gretchen Mol, Betty Gilpin, and John Sharian

Both James Franco and Jonah Hill are extremely versatile actors. Having appeared in superhero movies, comedies, dramas, animated films, and everything in between over the years, these two are now perhaps a bit overexposed. I'm a fan of both of them. However, they're always in something at the box office. It's time for them to take a little break. With fourtee...
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REVIEW: Cinderella – Overshadowed By A Frozen Short

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, March 14, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Cinderella
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Kenneth Branagh

Starring: Lily James, Richard Madden, Cate Blanchett, Stellan Skarsgård, Holliday Grainger, Derek Jacobi, Helena Bonham Carter, Nonso Anozie, and Hayley Atwell

Disney has always been adept at developing and selling princess fantasies. In 1950, Disney’s animated version of Cinderella garnered critical and commercial success, and Cinderella became a vital component of the Disney brand. But Disney did not stop with Cinderella and her prede...
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REVIEW: In The Lazarus Effect, Zoe's Fiery Apartment Hell Nightmare Is the Bizarre DMT Compound of Horror Movies

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 28, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Lazarus Effect

Directed By: David Gelb

Starring: Mark Duplass, Olivia Wilde, Donald Glover, Evan Peters, and Sarah Bolger

It's amazing how Hollywood can get horror so right on television and so wrong on the big screen fairly consistently. Just look to the recent successes of terrific shows like American Horror Story, The Walking Dead, and Bates Motel. Then, look to the recent failures of films like Annabelle, The Purge: Anarchy, and any Paranormal Activity film of your choosing. It's a st...
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REVIEW: Fifty Shades of Grey – If You Liked the Books, You’ll Like the Movie

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, February 14, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Fifty Shades of Grey
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Sam Taylor-Johnson

Starring: Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Eloise Mumford, Luke Grimes, Rita Ora, Victor Rasuk, Max Martini, Dylan Neal, Callum Keith Rennie, Jennifer Ehle, and Marcia Gay Harden

Since EL James’ provocative Fifty Shades trilogy became a worldwide phenomenon in 2012, fans have been anxious to see a film adaptation. I will confess to having read the Fifty Shades of Grey series. In my defense, I majored in English and I read everyt...
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REVIEW: With Your Majesty Jupiter Ascending to Entitled Royalty, Aegis, Stinger & Splice Caine Wise Begin Hunting the Abrasax Siblings

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 7, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Jupiter Ascending

Directed By: Lana Wachowski and Andy Wachowski

Starring: Channing Tatum, Mila Kunis, Sean Bean, Eddie Redmayne, Douglas Booth, and Gugu Mbatha-Raw

I always look forward to films from Lana and Andy Wachowski. Whether they succeed or fail, they always put forth one hell of a production. All of their movies are intriguing, thought-provoking cinema consistently marked by ambition. No matter what, they go for it all in grand style each and every time they're up at bat. Cloud Atl...
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REVIEW: In A Black or White Custody Battle in Court, Alcoholic Elliot, Grandma Wee Wee, & Crack Addict Reggie Don’t Relearn to Breathe

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 31, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Black or White

Directed By: Mike Binder

Starring: Kevin Costner, Octavia Spencer, Jillian Estell, Bill Burr, Jennifer Ehle, Andre Holland, Gillian Jacobs, and Anthony Mackie

There are two different categories of feel good movies. There are those flicks that are saccharine and shallow as they play up one stereotype after another in the most formulaic fashion. There's a special place in movie hell for these features. It's called basic cable. Then, there are those feel good movies that are vibr...
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REVIEW: Mortdecai – An Offbeat Action Comedy That Never Realizes Its Full Potential

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Monday, January 26, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Mortdecai
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: David Koepp

Starring: Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ewan McGregor, Olivia Munn, Paul Bettany, and Jeff Goldblum

Johnny Depp has entertained us for decades with quirky, fun characters from his roles in Cry-Baby to Edwards Scissorhands to the Pirates of the Caribbean series. Depp thrives on playing weird, offbeat characters. Recently, however, his choices have missed the mark. From The Lone Ranger to Transcendence, Depp has had flop after flop. Sadly, Mort...
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REVIEW: Blackhat – R.A.T.s, Hackers And The Sexiest Man Alive Could Not Save This Film

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, January 17, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Blackhat
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Michael Mann

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Wei Tang, Viola Davis, Ritchie Coster, Holt McCallany, Yorick van Wageningen, and Leehom Wang

Every week, it seems like there is news of another data breach. We have seen major companies get hacked, including Target, Home Depot and many more. There was even a story about some mysterious Russians stealing over a billion passwords. However, the attack on Sony brought cyberterrorism to the forefront more than any other ...
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REVIEW: In The Woman in Black 2, Angel of Death Isn't the Good Thought With Which to Fight Edward's Bad Dreams at Eel Marsh House

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 3, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death

Directed By: Tom Harper

Starring: Phoebe Fox, Jeremy Irvine, Helen McCrory, Adrian Rawlins, Leanne Best, and Ned Dennehy

"Fight bad dreams with good thoughts."
-Eve Parkins (Phoebe Fox)

Happy New Year STMR readers! We've put the doldrums of the 2014 box office behind us. The movies of 2015 now lie ahead, and we've got plenty of potentially great flicks on the horizon. This is the year of the reborn franchise. Just look to Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Juras...
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REVIEW: Despite All His Grunts, Marine Painter Mr. Turner Is a Bit Too Still

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, December 30, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Mr. Turner

Directed By: Mike Leigh

Starring: Timothy Spall, Dorothy Atkinson, Marion Bailey, Paul Jesson, Lesley Manville, and Martin Savage

Mr. Turner is my last stop on the Christmas box office train, and I am actually thankful that I'm at the end of this long ride. This holiday season, art and painting have been a noticeable theme at the forefront of the independent marketplace. In addition to Mr. Turner, we also have Tim Burton's Big Eyes on painter Margaret Keane. While I'm sure there ar...
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REVIEW: With Lord of The Rings, Katy Perry, & Honeypotting All Over Skylark Tonight, North Korean-Themed The Interview Pees & Poos on Itself

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, December 25, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Interview

Directed By: Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg

Starring: Seth Rogen, James Franco, Lizzy Caplan, and Randall Park

I'm sure there are some patriots out there celebrating our recent victory over terrorists trying to keep us from watching The Interview. Well, I'm not one of them. Though I appreciate their sentiments, I'm of a different mindset. Simply put, Sony fucked up. First of all, the company opted to distribute a film that casually jokes about killing an actual head of state. Th...
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REVIEW: Annie (2014) – A Made For Television Musical With An A-List Cast

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Wednesday, December 24, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Annie
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Will Gluck

Starring: Jamie Foxx, Quvenzhané Wallis, Rose Byrne, Bobby Cannavale, and Cameron Diaz

Annie is a classic American musical. I first saw the film in theaters as a young girl in 1982, and then starred in my high school’s production of the musical. Annie is near and dear to my heart. The songs are iconic. From “It’s The Hard-Knock Life” to “Tomorrow” to “Maybe,” the music grabs you. My fondness for the tale is why I viewed the 2014 ...
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REVIEW: When the Last Shall Be the First On a Midsummer's Night, Miss Julie Obeys Jean Like a Dog & Kisses His Shoes

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, December 7, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Miss Julie

Directed By: Liv Ullmann

Starring: Jessica Chastain, Colin Farrell, and Samantha Morton

I mentioned this earlier this year in my review of Under the Skin, but we haven't had a lot of weird ones at the indie box office this year. Few filmmakers are taking risks with the strange and bizarre, particularly in this later half of the year (with the obvious exception of Birdman). I understand their reasons, but I don't agree with them. Risks are the reasons for which many duds crash and b...
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REVIEW: With the Failures of the Shower Buddy & Pinkberry, Horrible Bosses 2 Doesn't Roar Like Katy Perry by Kidnaping Predator Rex Hanson

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, November 26, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Horrible Bosses 2

Directed By: Sean Anders

Starring: Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, Jason Sudeikis, Jennifer Aniston, Jamie Foxx, Kevin Spacey, Chris Pine, and Christoph Waltz

Horrible Bosses was one of the first few films I reviewed when Sobriety Test Movie Reviews made its debut on the web. Looking back at the review I wrote nearly three and a half years ago now, I simply cringe. The points I make are still valid, but the manner in which I make them is in no way consistent with my writing style...
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REVIEW: Boogeyman John Wick Is A Wolf Lured Back to Life at the Continental by Hen

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, October 25, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

John Wick

Directed By: David Leitch

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Michael Nyqvist, Alfie Allen, Adrianne Palicki, Bridget Moynahan, Dean Winters, Willem Dafoe, John Leguizamo, and Ian McShane

Normally, I pay little attention to Rotten Tomatoes before I've drafted a review. I just saw the most bizarre thing though as I was pulling together a list of the cast members in John Wick. This weekend’s John Wick has a 93% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. My initial thought on this can be summed up in three word...
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REVIEW: Prince Vlad Dracula, Son of the Devil, Goes to the Untold Broken Tooth Mountain to Protect His People From the Turks

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, October 12, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Dracula Untold

Directed By: Gary Shore

Starring: Luke Evans, Sarah Gadon, Dominic Cooper, Art Parkinson, and Charles Dance

It's another weekend and yet another reminder that every other Hollywood studio wants to be Marvel. With blockbusters Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Guardians of the Galaxy perpetuating the success of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it's easy to see why everyone else is so envious. While Fox had an excellent outing with X-Men: Days of Future Past in May, the film i...
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REVIEW: With Fommy the Pirate Gamer, the Australian Outback, & Dick Van Dyke, Alexander's Birthday Is One Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Posted by James Brown on Friday, October 10, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Directed By: Miguel Arteta

Starring: Steve Carell, Jennifer Garner, Ed Oxenbould, Dylan Minnette, and Kerris Dorsey

It's a three-day weekend. Granted, every weekend really should be. Working more hours on average per week than the vast majority of other nations around the globe, America is overworked. It's needless to say that I get ecstatic when I think of getting some extra time face down in my pillow on Monday morning. All that b...
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REVIEW: For A White Hat & A Cheese Tasting, Red Hat Snatcher & The Boxtroll Exterminators Take on Eggs the Trubshaw Baby

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 28, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Boxtrolls

Directed By: Graham Annable and Anthony Stacchi

Starring: Isaac Hempstead-Wright, Elle Fanning, Ben Kingsley, Toni Collette, Jared Harris, Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Richard Ayoade, and Tracy Morgan

Compared to last year, 2014 has been a relatively quiet year on the animated film front. How to Train Your Dragon 2 and Planes: Fire and Rescue were the only two titles to arrive at the box office this summer from the genre. As a single guy with no kids, I could personally care less, but...
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REVIEW: In the New Jimi Hendrix Experience, All Is Not By My Side Because André 3000 Doesn't Play the Hits

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, September 27, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Jimi: All Is By My Side

Directed By: John Ridley

Starring: André Benjamin, Hayley Atwell, Burn Gorman, Imogen Poots, Andrew Buckley, and Ruth Negga

Jimi Hendrix is before my time, but I would be a fool not to recognize the profound impact his music has had on generations of musicians to follow him. With the influence his music and his creativity have had on rock and roll and the music landscape as a whole, it should come as no surprise that filmmakers are trying to bring his tragically short l...
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REVIEW: Few Rich Patterns Are in Hector Journaling His Search for Happiness Except His Lack of a Pen & His Old Flame in a Sock Drawer Agnes

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, September 27, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Hector and the Search for Happiness

Directed By: Peter Chelsom

Starring: Simon Pegg, Toni Collette, Rosamund Pike, Stellan Skarsgård, Jean Reno, and Christopher Plummer

When I reflect on what happiness means to me, I think of the moments when I'm most serene. For a guy who used to live out of a suitcase like me, the answer surprisingly lies in the skyways and wherever they take me. It's about getting unplugged from the world around me and seeing the new beautiful places this world has to offe...
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REVIEW: In No Good Deed, Malignant Narcissist Colin Evans Unfortunately Puts His Violent Tendencies on Display at 17 Creston Lane

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 14, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

No Good Deed

Directed By: Sam Miller

Starring: Idris Elba, Taraji P. Henson, Leslie Bibb, Kate del Castillo, and Henry Simmons

I miss slasher flicks. Aside from You're Next a little more than a year ago, we haven't had too many good ones in the last several years. It's all the paranormal, supernatural stuff that dominates nowadays. I prefer my antagonists to be a little more interesting like Jason Voorhees or Ghostface. That being said, I'll take it where I can get it these days, or so I tho...
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REVIEW: The November Man Peter Devereaux & Alice Fournier Don’t Exactly Rock Arkady Fedorov's Presidential Campaign in Belgrade

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 29, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The November Man

Directed By: Roger Donaldson

Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Luke Bracey, Olga Kurylenko, Eliza Taylor, Caterina Scorsone, Bill Smitrovich, and Will Patton

As I begin typing my review of the recently released The November Man, I realize that there's a certain pointlessness to it all. The studio behind this spy movie green-lit a sequel before the original even arrived in theaters. Unless they have the next Guardians of the Galaxy on their hands, I wouldn't exactly deem this to be a w...
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REVIEW: When the Game Stands Tall, The De La Salle Spartans, Their Winning Streak, & This Bland High School Football Movie Fall

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 22, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

When the Game Stands Tall

Directed By: Thomas Carter

Starring: Jim Caviezel, Laura Dern, Michael Chiklis, Alexander Ludwig, and Clancy Brown

These August movies are really starting to get to me. Good movies are just hard to find in this climate. With Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reigning supreme for the last two weeks at the box office, it's a moviegoer's worst nightmare come true. As I make my way to the next wave of torturously bad flicks, I begin with a high school football film, this week...
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REVIEW: With Wine, Weed, & Sex, This Movie Isn't Quite All About Alex or the Dog Named Timmy

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 16, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

About Alex

Directed By: Jesse Zwick

Starring: Aubrey Plaza, Max Greenfield, Maggie Grace, Jason Ritter, Jane Levy, Nate Parker, and Max Minghella

My fellow Millennials have been making quite a few movies about what it's like to make that full adjustment into adulthood. To some extent, the wild party movie Neighbors serves up some satirical commentary on the transition from a carefree twentysomething to married life with children. The recent romantic comedy What If humorously explores the chall...
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REVIEW: The Knife Before Christmas Doctor Death, Galgo & Conrad Snowbanks Can't Quite Rescue The Deletable Expendables 3

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 16, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Expendables 3

Directed By: Patrick Hughes

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Antonio Banderas, Jet Li, Wesley Snipes, Dolph Lundgren, Kelsey Grammer, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, Kellan Lutz, Ronda Rousey, Glen Powell, Victor Ortiz, Robert Davi, Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford, and Arnold Schwarzenegger

There comes a time when retirement is no longer a luxury but a duty, particularly when one's line of work demands a certain physicality. Professional wrestling, a young man's game, has so...
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REVIEW: I'd Rather Shovel Sheep's Poop Than Watch Dance Crew LMNTRIX Step Up All In for Alexxa Brava's The Vortex on VH1

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 9, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Step Up All In

Directed By: Trish Sie

Starring: Ryan Guzman, Briana Evigan, Misha Gabriel, Adam Sevani, Alyson Stoner, Mari Koda, Christopher Scott, and Luis Rosado

The life of a dancer is not easy. I know this because the Step Up series has beaten this message over moviegoers' heads four times before. That's why this weekend's Step Up All In is simply déjà vu. We've seen it all before, again and again and again. Strangely enough, this latest installment puts me in the mindset of the wizar...
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REVIEW: With Cameras Recording Time Capsules, The Tornado-Chasing Titus Team Wades Pointlessly Into the Storm at Silverton High School

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 8, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Into the Storm

Directed By: Steven Quale

Starring: Richard Armitage, Sarah Wayne Callies, Matt Walsh, Alycia Debnam-Carey, Max Deacon, Nathan Kress, and Arien Escarpeta

Like clockwork, the month of August routinely amounts to a cesspool of cinematic mediocrity. This weekend is quickly proving to be the ultimate example of this. Despite four movies arriving at the mainstream box office this weekend, I'm not impressed with a single new arrival. Unfortunately, this is likely to hold true for the...
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REVIEW: When She Discovers Project Renaissance, the Foot Clan, & Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, April O'Neil Swaps Mutagen for Foam & Froth

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 8, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Buck Buck)

Directed By: Jonathan Liebesman

Starring: Megan Fox, Pete Ploszek, Alan Ritchson, Noel Fisher, Jeremy Howard, William Fichtner, Danny Woodburn, Will Arnett, Johnny Knoxville, Tony Shalhoub, and Whoopi Goldberg

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are a staple of my childhood. Phrases like "Turtle Power!" and "Cowabunga!" are etched in my memory for all time. That's why I cringed when I learned that Michael Bay was involved in the reboot of the film series. ...
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REVIEW: Lucy – A Somewhat Confusing Tale About What Happens When A Woman Uses 100% Of Her Brain

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, July 27, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Lucy

SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Luc Besson

Starring: Scarlett Johansson, Morgan Freeman, Choi Min-sik, Amr Waked and Analeigh Tipton

As the credits flickered on the screen at the end of Lucy, the patrons in my theater sat stunned by the film’s abrupt end. They murmured in confusion trying to ascertain what had just happened. I share their confusion.

In the film, Lucy (Scarlett Johansson) is studying abroad in Taiwan. In the midst of her studies, she takes in the city’s nightlife. She meet...

REVIEW: Even With a Well-Funded Swear Jar, Milk & Honey Isn't the Drink I Had in Mind for Jewish Comedy-Drama Wish I Was Here

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, July 19, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Wish I Was Here

Directed By: Zach Braff

Starring: Zach Braff, Donald Faison, Josh Gad, Pierce Gagnon, Ashley Greene, Kate Hudson, Joey King, Jim Parsons, and Mandy Patinkin

This is one of those weekends when I need a little inspiration. With the exception of Richard Linklater's outstanding Boyhood, I'm less than impressed with what's arriving at both the mainstream and independent box offices. Like its predecessor, The Purge: Anarchy fails to deliver the thrilling punch it has the power to pac...
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REVIEW: During the Annual Purge, Carmelo's Call to Action Against the New Founding Fathers of America (NFFA) Doesn't Bring the Anarchy

Posted by James Brown on Friday, July 18, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Purge: Anarchy

Directed By: James DeMonaco

Starring: Frank Grillo, Carmen Ejogo, Zach Gilford, Kiele Sanchez, and Zoe Soul

In an era when the latest and greatest scary movies are almost always about something supernatural, it's nice to see some good old fashioned horror movies where people kill people. I'm tired of ghosts, demons, and possessed mirrors dominating the horror landscape. I prefer movies that tap into the darkness inside each and every one of us and leverage this to ratchet up...
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REVIEW: Watch Me Tell You How Third Person's White is Indeed the Color of Trust, Belief, & the Lies Michael Tells Himself

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 28, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Third Person

Directed By: Paul Haggis

Starring: Liam Neeson, Milan Kunis, Adrien Brody, Olivia Wilde, James Franco, Moran Atias, Maria Bello, and Kim Basinger

It's not too often that we get Paul Haggis sitting in the director's chair. After all, it's been four years since The Next Three Days and seven since In the Valley of Elah. He spends far more time writing movies like Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace, though he hasn't been particularly active on this front in the last several years eit...
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REVIEW: Transformers: Age of Extinction – In This Seemingly Endless Film, KSI, Lockdown, Yaeger, and Optimus Mix It Up

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, June 28, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Transformers: Age of Extinction
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Michael Bay

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammer, John Goodman, Ken Watanabe, Nicola Peltz, and Peter Cullen

Harold Attinger: “We have a saying here on Earth: The enemy of my enemy is my friend.”
Lockdown: “I too have a saying: I don’t care”

Transformers, both the toys and the cartoon, mean something to those of us who grew up in the 1980’s. So I was delighted to hear that the movie franchise was being rebo...
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REVIEW: Instead of Zeke the Freak or the TLAM Girls' Poison, Think Like a Man Too Focuses Far Too Much on the Best Man with a Plan, Kevin Hart

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 21, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Think Like a Man Too

Directed By: Tim Story

Starring: Michael Ealy, Jerry Ferrara, Meagan Good, Regina Hall, Taraji P. Henson, Terrence J., Romany Malco, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Gary Owen, Gabrielle Union, La La Anthony, and Kevin Hart

I'm sure my reviews of Grudge Match and Ride Along put me squarely in the corner of what some fans might deem the Kevin Hart Haters Club, but I'd like to offer a different perspective. The pint-sized comedian typically delivers big laughs, but in the last seven or ...
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REVIEW: For a Doctor to Launch a Petrochemical Repurposing Facility, Tickle Head Harbor Organizes the Grand Seduction of Cricket & Fishing

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, June 19, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Grand Seduction

Directed By: Don McKellar

Starring: Taylor Kitsch, Brendan Gleeson, Liane Balaban, and Gordon Pinsent

My movie reviews are the product of my passion for or against a film. I know this sounds like a rather mundane, obvious statement, but it's something I see in every piece I pen on a movie. If I really love or hate a movie, I'll go to bat for it or tear it to shreds. If, however, I feel nothing for a movie one way or the other, my ensuing review accordingly lacks inspiratio...
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REVIEW: A Million Ways To Die In The West – Unfortunately, Laughter Is Not One Of Them

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, June 1, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

A Million Ways To Die In The West

SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Seth MacFarlane

Starring: Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Amanda Seyfried, Neil Patrick Harris, Giovanni Ribisi, and Sarah Silverman

This weekend, Seth MacFarlane’s western comedy, A Million Ways To Die In The West, hits theaters. The film is set in 1882. Albert (MacFarlane) is a sheep farmer down on his luck. Albert is not prosperous; he lacks courage, and he hates living in the west. Much to his dismay, his big ...

REVIEW: Maleficent – Jolie As Both Hero And Villain In This Sleeping Beauty Remake

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, May 31, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Maleficent
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Robert Stromberg

Starring: Angelina Jolie, Elle Fanning, Sharlto Copley, Sam Riley, Imelda Staunton, Juno Temple, and Lesley Manville

The latest trend is for movie studios to reinvent old fairy tales by making them darker and edgier. Snow White and the Huntsman, Jack the Giant Slayer and Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters are the most recent examples. Some adaptations have been successful, while others have floundered. On the one hand, it is refreshing to s...

REVIEW: Blended – Sandler and Barrymore Take Their Romance From Hooters To Sun City

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, May 24, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Blended
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Frank Coraci

Starring: Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore, Terry Crews, Wendi McLendon-Covey, and Kevin Nealon

I actually enjoyed Blended much more than I expected. Before rotten tomatoes are hurled at my head, let me explain myself. Adam Sandler has been on a splendid Razzie run with cross dressing turns in Jack and Jill, the painful but commercially successful Grown Ups movies, That’s My Boy and a host of other film disasters. While his new movie Blended certa...

REVIEW: Palo Alto — I'm Not Bob

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, May 18, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Palo Alto

Directed By: Gia Coppola

Starring: Emma Roberts, James Franco, Val Kilmer, Nat Wolff, Christian Madsen, Keegan Allen, Chris Messina, Jack Kilmer, and Colleen Camp

2013 was such a great year for coming-of-age movies. We had the likes of Mud, The Kings of Summer, The Way, Way Back, The Spectacular Now, and even arguably Spring Breakers. 2014 doesn't seem to be an equally great year so far. There simply don't seem to be that many worthwhile coming-of-age movies this year. The first on...
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REVIEW: Unlike the Working Men of God's Pocket, Racist Day Laborer Leon Hubbard Doesn't Leave His Family, Life, or Legend With Dignity

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, May 18, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

God's Pocket

Directed By: John Slattery

Starring: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Richard Jenkins, Christina Hendricks, John Turturro, Caleb Landry Jones, and Eddie Marsan

"The working men of God's Pocket are simple men. Everyone here has stolen something from somebody else, or when they were kids, they set someone's house on fire, or they ran away when they should have stayed and fought."
-Richard Shellburn (Richard Jenkins)

The right movie quote can say everything about the film in which it is uttered ...
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REVIEW: The Other Woman – The Wife, The Lawyer, And The Boobs Team Up Against A Lannister

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, April 27, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Other Woman
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Nick Cassavetes

Starring: Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann, Kate Upton, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Don Johnson, Nicki Minaj, and Taylor Kinney

I desperately wanted to endorse The Other Woman. Not only because I’m a huge fan of Leslie Mann’s work, but I also listened to Mann and Cameron Diaz plugging the new film on EW Radio. During the interview, they referenced the 1980’s classic film 9 to 5, and seemed to hint that The Other Woman delivered some of the sa...

REVIEW: In The Quiet Ones, Poltergeist Doll Evey Dwyer, Her Host Jane, & the Devil Worshiping Lilitu Give Us Two Boring Knocks

Posted by James Brown on Friday, April 25, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Quiet Ones

Directed By: John Pogue

Starring: Jared Harris, Sam Claflin, Olivia Cooke, Erin Richards, and Rory Fleck-Byrne

I've said that I'm tired of found footage horror films, but I have to say that I'm tired of supernatural horror flicks in general. Poltergeists have simply been overdone in recent years. Paranormal Activity, Insidious, & The Conjuring have all flooded our theaters. I'm more of a slasher fan of Friday the 13th or A Nightmare on Elm Street, exactly the types of old schoo...
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REVIEW: Creating a R.I.F.T. in Academia with the Artificial Intelligence Pinn, Will & Evelyn Caster Don’t Take Transcendence to the Next Level at Brightwood

Posted by James Brown on Friday, April 18, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Transcendence

Directed By: Wally Pfister

Starring: Johnny Depp, Morgan Freeman, Rebecca Hall, Kate Mara, Cillian Murphy, Cole Hauser, and Paul Bettany

The last couple of years haven't been terribly awesome for iconic movie star Johnny Depp. Dark Shadows and The Lone Ranger weren't exactly box office successes beloved by audiences worldwide. In fact, they were duds that cost their respective studios hundreds of millions of dollars. With this in mind, I wouldn't exactly have high box office hop...
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REVIEW: In Under the Skin, Hot Alien Scarlett Johansson Seduces the Men of Scotland Into Her Pool of Black Tar-Like Liquid

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 13, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Under the Skin

Directed By: Jonathan Glazer

Starring: Scarlett Johansson

It's been quite a while since we've had a weird one at the indie box office. There was no movie like Holy Motors or The Paperboy in 2013 to leave me utterly baffled by what transpired on the big screen. Thus far, I can mostly say the same thing about 2014. No filmmaker has tested the limits of moviegoers' tolerance for the bizarre or disgusting this year. One movie this spring comes close to doing so, however. That's J...
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REVIEW: Rio 2 – A Music-Filled Blue Macaw Romp In The Amazon That Falls Short

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, April 12, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Rio 2
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Carlos Saldanha

Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Anne Hathaway, Leslie Mann, Bruno Mars, Jermaine Clement, George Lopez, Jamie Foxx, will.i.am, Rita Moreno, Tracy Morgan, and Andy Garcia

Computer animated films are a dime a dozen at this point. In the “olden” days, one or two animated films would be released in a given year. However, studios have seized on the economic potential of family friendly animated films and are rolling out computer animated films with in...

REVIEW: For No. 1 Pick Bo Callahan & His Magic Beans, Cleveland Browns General Manager Sonny Weaver Sells the Cow on Draft Day

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 12, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Draft Day

Directed By: Ivan Reitman

Starring: Kevin Costner, Jennifer Garner, Denis Leary, Frank Langella, Sam Elliott, Ellen Burstyn, and Chadwick Boseman

I despise utterly predictable films. As a moviegoer, there's nothing worse than wasting my time on a movie that offers nothing refreshing or imaginative whatsoever. Arguably, that's most of what we're facing at the box office this weekend. We've got another animated sequel in Rio 2 intended to tap into parents' wallets. We've also got ano...
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REVIEW: Sabotage – Breacher Delivers Violence, But Not Much Else

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, March 30, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Sabotage
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: David Ayer

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sam Worthington, Olivia Williams, Terrence Howard, Joe Manganiello, Harold Perrineau, Martin Donovan, Max Martini, Josh Holloway, and Mireille Enos

Since his political career ended and his marital woes took center stage, Arnold Schwarzenegger has not been able to connect with American audiences. His most recent films, The Last Stand and Escape Plan were box office duds domestically, and his latest action thriller Sa...
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REVIEW: The Single Moms Club – Five Moms, Five OK Stories

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, March 15, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Single Moms Club
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Tyler Perry

Starring: Nia Long, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Cocoa Brown, Amy Smart, and Zulay Henao

Fresh off of his Razzies’ win for A Madea Christmas, Tyler Perry is back in theaters this month with his new film, The Single Moms Club. Say what you will, but Perry knows his audience and he sticks with his standard themes in this new film. The Single Moms Club involves a fair amount of sisterhood and female empowerment, as well as some serious male b...

REVIEW: For Those of Us About to Die of Boredom, We Don't Salute Pompeii or the Celt Horseman Milo

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 22, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Pompeii

Directed By: Paul W. S. Anderson

Starring: Kit Harington, Emily Browning, Carrie-Anne Moss, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Jessica Lucas, Jared Harris, and Kiefer Sutherland

Gladiator is one of my all-time favorite movies. The noble character Russell Crowe gives us as Maximus, the delicious sicko to which Joaquin Phoenix treats us with Commodus, and the rousing yet beautiful filmmaking from director Ridley Scott all make the film an unrivaled modern epic of the highest caliber. With this ki...
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REVIEW: With The Wolf & The Albino on His Hit List, Cancer-Stricken Ethan Has 3 Days to Kill With Zoey as a Father Who Clearly Doesn't Know Best

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 22, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

3 Days to Kill

Directed By: McG

Starring: Kevin Costner, Amber Heard, Hailee Steinfeld, Connie Nielsen, Richard Sammel, and Eriq Ebouaney

McG isn't exactly a director who gets me excited for a movie. Sure, he's had a decent movie or two in his time. A great example is 2012's This Means War. At the same time, he's had many more missteps with films like Charlie's Angels and Terminator Salvation. His problem is that he tends to make undercooked films flush with gaping plot holes and underwhelmi...
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REVIEW: To Protect the Bruges Madonna and Child & Prevent the Führer Museum, The Monuments Men Undertake One Boring Assignment

Posted by James Brown on Friday, February 7, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Monuments Men

Directed By: George Clooney

Starring: George Clooney, Matt Damon, Bill Murray, John Goodman, Jean Dujardin, Bob Balaban, Hugh Bonneville, and Cate Blanchett

Unless you're Martin Scorsese and getting geared up to release the next The Wolf of Wall Street, getting your movie's release date pushed back within just months of its arrival in theaters is an ominous sign. Not that it ever really had a chance at greatness, but I'm sure you all remember last year's G.I. Joe: Retaliation....
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REVIEW: Over Labor Day Weekend, Henry and Adele Wheeler Learn About Peach Pie & Baseball Thanks to Escaped Convict Frank Chambers

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 2, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Labor Day

Directed By: Jason Reitman

Starring: Kate Winslet, Josh Brolin, Gattlin Griffith, Tobey Maguire, and Clark Gregg

Jason Reitman's Labor Day certainly has some odd timing. Coming out just after the Christmas season and MLK Day, a movie themed around the holiday that closes the summer just doesn't feel right. I know that Valentine's Day is right around the corner and that romances are a dime a dozen around this time of the year. Regardless, the timing of the movie just doesn't feel rig...
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REVIEW: Best Man Down – Lumpy’s Secret Life Is Uncovered In This Comedy Drama

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, January 26, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Best Man Down
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Ted Koland

Starring: Justin Long, Jess Weixler, Tyler Labine, Addison Timlin, Shelley Long, and Frances O’Connor

Happy belated New Year movie lovers! I am delighted to return to the movie review scene after a brief holiday hiatus. My first review of 2014 is Justin Long’s indie flick Best Man Down. Although billed as a dark comedy, this uneven film is at times touching, but never humorous.

Scott (Long) and Kristin (Jess Weixler) are having the time o...
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REVIEW: With Gargoyles Ascending & Demons Descending, I, Frankenstein Is All About Adam Finding His Soul & His Higher Purpose

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 25, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

I, Frankenstein

Directed By: Stuart Beattie

Starring: Aaron Eckhart, Bill Nighy, Yvonne Strahovski, Miranda Otto, Socratis Otto, Jai Courtney, and Kevin Grevioux

Harvey, Harvey, Harvey Dent. What has happened to Aaron Eckhart’s career since The Dark Knight? His most notable credits since his turn as Gotham's White Knight include The Rum Diary, Olympus Has Fallen, and Battle Los Angeles. That's not saying much at all. The same can be said for Miranda Otto, whom most may remember as Eowyn in...
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REVIEW: In the Shadows of the Frozen Deep, Charles Dickens Dryly Oscillates Between His Public Love & Secret Invisible Woman Nelly "Lawless" Ternan

Posted by James Brown on Monday, January 20, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Invisible Woman

Directed By: Ralph Fiennes

Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Felicity Jones, Kristin Scott Thomas, and Tom Hollander

"A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other."
-Charles Dickens

Ralph Fiennes is one of the few big screen talents who can seamlessly navigate between the worlds of big budget blockbusters and indie cinema. He's a very versatile talent and has proven it time and time again. After all, h...
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REVIEW: In a Ride Along Full of 126s, Black Hammer Kevin Hart Shows & Proves That He's Unfortunately Unlocked the Platinum Level

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 18, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Ride Along

Directed By: Tim Story

Starring: Ice Cube, Kevin Hart, John Leguizamo, Bruce McGill, Bryan Callen, Tika Sumpter, and Laurence Fishburne

Kevin Hart seems to be everywhere. He was in This Is the End and Grudge Match last year. He's done several stand-up comedy tours all over the country over the last several years. He's got two big romantic comedies this year with About Last Night and his follow-up to Think Like a Man. Strangely enough, he's even been on ESPN lately. All of this po...
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REVIEW: The Grudgement Day Match Between Razor Sharp & Billy "The Kid" McDonnen Has a Few Too Many Butterscotch Jellybeans 30 Years Too Late

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, January 7, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Grudge Match

Directed By: Peter Segal

Starring: Robert De Niro, Sylvester Stallone, Alan Arkin, Kevin Hart, Jon Bernthal, LL Cool J, and Kim Basinger

The AARP is getting into the holiday movie season! They're giving us a pairing of the Raging Bull and Rocky as the 70 year-old Robert De Niro and the 67 year-old Sylvester Stallone square off on the big screen. Ten to fifteen years ago, this might have been a halfway good idea. As it stands, Grudge Match is set to be Grumpy Old Men on crack. It...
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REVIEW: In Dry Revenge Flick 47 Ronin, Some Master-Less Samurai & A Half-Breed Trained By Demons Face Lord Kira & His Witch Mizuki

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, December 25, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

47 Ronin

Directed By: Carl Erik Rinsch

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Rinko Kikuchi, Tadanobu Asano, and Hiroyuki Sanada

America hates Keanu Reeves! There's nothing profoundly surprising about this statement. While I'll certainly agree that he's not the world's greatest actor, I have to say that we've never given him credit for the gems he's given us. Just think of Speed, The Devil's Advocate, and of course The Matrix trilogy. As 47 Ronin hits theaters this Christmas week, I can't help but think th...
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REVIEW: In Anchorman 2, The Legend of Ron Burgundy Sadly Continues With the Global News Network (GNN), Infotainment & Jack Lame

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, December 21, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues

Directed By: Adam McKay

Starring: Will Ferrell, Steve Carell, Paul Rudd, David Koechner, Christina Applegate, Fred Willard, Chris Parnell, Kristen Wiig, James Marsden, Meagan Good, Dylan Baker, Greg Kinnear, and Josh Lawson

I wasn't a huge fan of Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't find the film to be pretty damn funny. With this in mind, I haven't been overly excited for Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues. Sure, we all do...
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REVIEW: Black Nativity – Great Music, But This Langston Hughes’ Musical Is Thin On Substance

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, November 30, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Black Nativity
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Kasi Lemmons

Starring: Forest Whitaker, Angela Bassett, Tyrese Gibson, Jennifer Hudson, Mary J. Blige, Vondie Curtis-Hall, Nas, and Jacob Latimore

Black Nativity should have been the perfect storm for movie magic. It stars a heavy lineup of Oscar winning and nominated actors, including Forest Whitaker, Jennifer Hudson and Angela Bassett. Black Nativity is set during the holiday season, it revolves around Christianity and family, and is based on a La...

REVIEW: At a Homefront With Meadows & Horse Trails, Ex-Narc Phil Broker & His Daughter Maddy Get Into a Feud With Meth Cook Gator

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, November 28, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Homefront

Directed By: Gary Fleder

Starring: Jason Statham, James Franco, Winona Ryder, and Kate Bosworth

Jason Statham movies are always hit-or-miss for me. You certainly get good action sequences, but not much else. He's an action star, not an acclaimed actor. Recognizing this reality, I'm a little ambivalent about his latest thriller Homefront. He offers plenty of great fight sequences and amusing trash talking, but there's no depth to his character whatsoever. The sad thing is that Home...
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REVIEW: All the Dumplings in the World Can't Help Spike Lee Answer the Fundamental Question About Evergreen Oldboy Joe Doucett

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, November 27, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Oldboy

Directed By: Spike Lee

Starring: Josh Brolin, Elizabeth Olsen, Sharlto Copley, Samuel L. Jackson, and Michael Imperioli

We're seeing an interesting trend this month at the box office. Hollywood is in the mood to distribute English-language remakes of successful foreign films. Last weekend, Ken Scott gave us an Americanized version of his Canadian comedy Starbuck with Delivery Man. It's safe to say that this flick was horrendous. Now, this Thanksgiving week, we have a much bolder remak...
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REVIEW: Reading About Grave Digging & Playing the Accordion, Book Thief Liesel and Her Papa Hans Don't Make the Cut

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, November 16, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Book Thief

Directed By: Brian Percival

Starring: Sophie Nélisse, Geoffrey Rush, Emily Watson, and Ben Schnetzer

I've said this before, and I'll say it again. Independent filmmakers need to stop making World War II movies. In the last year or so, we've had Lore, Emperor, and Simon and the Oaks. Now, we have The Book Thief, another film that takes us back to the so-called greatest generation and the dark days marked by the Holocaust. While I certainly respect the history, it's been done a...
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REVIEW: In Kill Your Darlings, We Get No Inspired Vision of Lucien Carr's Guardian Angel Allen Ginsberg

Posted by James Brown on Monday, November 4, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Kill Your Darlings

Directed By: John Krokidas

Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Dane DeHaan, Ben Foster, Michael C. Hall, Jack Huston, Jennifer Jason Leigh, and Elizabeth Olsen

"Another lover hits the universe; the circle is broken."
-Lucien Carr (Dane DeHaan)

The Beat generation is getting a healthy dose of attention lately from independent filmmakers. Earlier this year, Walter Salles tried to adapt Jack Kerouac's On the Road. Despite a rather robust cast, things didn't work out terribly well for Sal...
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REVIEW: For the Flatbush Four in Last Vegas, No One Calls Them Names, Like a Movie That Sucks, Except Us

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, November 2, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Last Vegas

Directed By: Jon Turteltaub

Starring: Michael Douglas, Robert De Niro, Kevin Kline, and Morgan Freeman

Hollywood has a tendency to milk every drop out of whatever idea that’s become their latest cash cow. Take The Hangover's wild bachelor party concept for instance. Because of Hollywood's insistence on sacrificing originality for profitability, I have a love-hate relationship with the Wolf Pack. I love the original Hangover movie and hate parts 2 and 3. With this in mind, it sho...
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REVIEW: Julian Assange May Have Hundreds of Volunteers in The Fifth Estate, But They Don't Get the Information Revolution Started Right

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, October 19, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Fifth Estate

Directed By: Bill Condon

Starring: Benedict Cumberbatch, Daniel Brühl, Anthony Mackie, David Thewlis, Alicia Vikander, Stanley Tucci, and Laura Linney

As the media unanimously covered the GOP's shutdown of the federal government and their manufactured debt ceiling crisis, some news fell through the cracks this week. Recently, a judge in New York approved the NSA's continued bulk collection of Americans' call logs, something to which I would imagine most Americans are vehementl...
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REVIEW: Baggage Claim – An Incredibly Predictable Rom Com, But You Can’t Totally Hate A Movie That Includes A New Edition Dance Routine

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, September 29, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Baggage Claim
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: David E. Talbert

Starring: Paula Patton, Adam Brody, Djimon Hounsou, Taye Diggs, Christina Milian, Derek Luke, Boris Kodjoe, Trey Songz, and Jill Scott

I am well aware that Baggage Claim currently is certified rotten by other critics. After seeing the film’s underwhelming trailer, I was fully prepared to join that chorus of boos. Much to my surprise, although the film is obvious and predictable, Baggage Claim does have some charm.

Montana Moore (Paul...
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REVIEW: Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 – Foodimals, Tacodiles, And Cheesespiders, Oh My!

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, September 28, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Cody Cameron and Kris Pearn

Starring: Bill Hader, Anna Faris, James Caan, Andy Samberg, Neil Patrick Harris, Benjamin Bratt, Terry Crews, Will Forte, and Kristen Schaal

Greetings movie lovers! After a bit of an “end of summer” hiatus, I am back to the movie review business. Naturally, my reign as animated movie review queen continues, and this week I had an opportunity to view Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2. The original...
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REVIEW: Whether Meredith or Parker Crane, the Bride in Black and His Mother of Death Make Chapter 2 of Insidious Worth Skipping

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, September 14, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Insidious: Chapter 2

Directed By: James Wan

Starring: Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Lin Shaye, Ty Simpkins, and Barbara Hershey

It's Friday the 13th, and I don't have a new Jason Voorhees flick to go see. Slasher flick You're Next is still in theaters, but I could use something fresh. What we have instead this weekend is James Wan's follow-up to his 2010 horror flick Insidious. While I certainly am no fan of the series, it's hard to deny that the Saw director found success earlier this year in ...
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REVIEW: In Normandy, France, The Blake Family Adds a Bad Chapter to Writer-Mobster Giovanni Manzoni's Memoirs

Posted by James Brown on Friday, September 13, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Family

Directed By: Luc Besson

Starring: Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Tommy Lee Jones, Dianna Agron, John D'Leo, and Domenick Lombardozzi

Several weeks ago, screen legend Robert De Niro turned 70 years old. With a filmography spanning five decades ranging from Mean Streets to Silver Linings Playbook, it suffices to say that the Raging Bull has had an illustrious career on the big screen and stands as one of the greatest performers of all time. That being said, I have to tell you that...
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REVIEW: Despite a Triple Threat Match Amongst Box Boy Santana, Big Daddy Johns & Riddick on Not Furya, This Sci-Fi Flick Lacks a Spine

Posted by James Brown on Friday, September 6, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Riddick

Directed By: David Twohy

Starring: Vin Diesel, Jordi Mollá, Matt Nable, Katee Sackho, Dave Bautista, Bokeem Woodbine, Raoul Trujillo, and Karl Urban

The fall movie season is officially underway, which means I should think about taking a break for a few weeks from the box office. I genuinely wouldn't miss much. We've got The Family, another action movie penned by writer-director Luc Besson who I've yet to forgive for the abysmal Taken 2 last year. We've got Battle of the Year, a Step ...
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REVIEW: Thérèse Has the Wrong Ideas About Smoking Cigarettes, Arsenic Drops, and Especially the Pines

Posted by James Brown on Monday, September 2, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Thérèse (Thérèse Desqueyroux)

Directed By: Claude Miller

Starring: Audrey Tautou and Gilles Lellouche

The French had a really good run for a few years with cinema. Think of films like The Artist, The Intouchables, and Amour. With the notably consistent quality films that had been coming from across the Atlantic over the last several years, I've come to expect more of them. Sadly, however, the French have been letting me down this year. Augustine was a really dry period piece earlier this...
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REVIEW: After the Bombing of Borough Market in London-Based Thriller Closed Circuit, MI5's Powers are at Play But Beyond John Crowley's Control

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, August 29, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Closed Circuit

Directed By: John Crowley

Starring: Eric Bana, Rebecca Hall, Ciarán Hinds, Jim Broadbent, Riz Ahmed, and Julia Stiles

The all-encompassing reach of covert government organizations has been a hot topic for discussion this year. That's largely thanks to whistleblower Edward Snowden and his disclosures about the NSA several months ago. The American government is getting all the data in the world on us, and I use the term "us" fairly loosely. If you use the Internet, you're one of...
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REVIEW: In Kick-Ass 2, Colonel Stars and Stripes' Justice Forever Fails to Deliver Against The Motherfcker's Toxic-Mega Cnts

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 17, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Kick-Ass 2

Directed By: Jeff Wadlow

Starring: Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Chloë Grace Moretz, Jim Carrey, and Morris Chestnut

Many good movies don't need sequels. The Wolfpack never needed to hit the Strip (or any other place of debauchery for that matter) after their wild outing in The Hangover. Badass spy Bryan Mills had no need to go beat the hell out of Albanian baddies after the brutal hunt for his daughter throughout Paris in Taken. Cindy and Brenda certainly didn't...
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REVIEW: The Girl Next Door Linda Lovelace Obeys Her Husband Chuck Traynor and Becomes an Iconic Porn Star in Deep Throat

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 10, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Lovelace

Directed By: Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman

Starring: Amanda Seyfried, Peter Sarsgaard, Sharon Stone, Adam Brody, Juno Temple, James Franco, Hank Azaria, and Bobby Cannavale

I'm no expert on the history of the pornographic industry, and I have no intentions of ever professing to be that. In all honesty, I've never seen Deep Throat, and I've never gone to an adult movie theater to see a sexploitation film. All of this old school stuff predates me. It's simply before my time. That b...
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REVIEW: Counting to Three & Chasing TLC's Waterfalls, The Millers Bring a Smidge and a Half of Pablo Chacon's Marijuana But No Comedy

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, August 7, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

We're the Millers

Directed By: Rawson Marshall Thurber

Starring: Jason Sudeikis, Jennifer Aniston, Emma Roberts, Will Poulter, Ed Helms, and Nick Offerman

The universe has a strange way of telling us the most mundane things sometimes. For me, it comes in the form of Nick at Nite. When I was growing up, shows like I Dream of Jeannie, Bewitched, and The Brady Bunch were on Nickelodeon in the wee hours of the night. As time went on, Nick moved to somewhat younger shows including The Jeffersons, ...
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REVIEW: With a Looming Smurf-a-geddon, & One Naughty Smurfette, the Smurfs Clan & the Winslow-Doyles Smurf It Up Too Much in The Smurfs 2

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 2, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Smurfs 2

Directed By: Raja Gosnell

Starring: Neil Patrick Harris, Brendan Gleeson, Jayma Mays, Katy Perry, Hank Azaria, Christina Ricci, Jonathan Winters, J.B. Smoove, George Lopez, and Anton Yelchin

Maybe it's just me, but this summer has had one too many movies for kids. With Epic, Monsters University, Despicable Me 2, and Turbo, there's been a glut of animated movies, and it's about time I voice my disapproval. The summer movie season is about catering to the young, but Hollywood has go...
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REVIEW: R.I.P.D. – Men In Black With Dead-ohs

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, July 21, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

R.I.P.D.
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Robert Schwentke

Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Jeff Bridges, Kevin Bacon, Mary-Louise Parker, and Stephanie Szostak

When the trailer for R.I.P.D. debuted, I immediately thought that it looked like Men in Black with dead people instead of aliens. Good-looking rookie cop a la Will Smith? Check. Grumpy old Tommy Lee Jones type veteran? Check. Secret agents who secretly save the world from destruction? Check. Check. Check. Unfortunately, that is where the similari...
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REVIEW: Back in Exolife in Ocean City, Playwright Imogene Duncan is the Girl Most Likely to Kill George Bousche But Not Backstreet Boys Fan Lee

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, July 20, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Girl Most Likely

Directed By: Shari Springer Berman and Robert Pulcini

Starring: Kristen Wiig, Annette Bening, Matt Dillon, Christopher Fitzgerald, and Darren Criss

It's been a little more than two years since Bridesmaids took the box office by storm. By now, I would've imagined that Kristen Wiig would have had a long, long list of comedies to which she were attached as the lead. As fate would have it, Wiig is finding greater success in animated films and television programming. She's Lucy in...
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REVIEW: Hairy Crystal Fairy & Pollo & the Magical San Pedro Cactus & the World's End in 2012 on the Mayan Calendar & One Crazy Movie

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, July 18, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Crystal Fairy & the Magical Cactus and 2012

Directed By: Sebastián Silva

Starring: Michael Cera, Gaby Hoffmann, Juan Andrés Silva, José Miguel Silva, and Agustín Silva

With all that's going on in America these days, it might be time for a little vacation. Regardless of your perspective on the array of events and issues of the day, I'm sure you can agree that it might be time to get some distance, perhaps in the form of international travel. While we all can't just hop on a plane and leave ...

REVIEW: With Spirit Walker Kemosabe and Comanche Spirit Warrior Tonto, The Lone Ranger May Not Be the Wrong Brother of Pirates After All

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, July 3, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Lone Ranger

Directed By: Gore Verbinski

Starring: Johnny Depp, Armie Hammer, Tom Wilkinson, William Fichtner, Barry Pepper, Ruth Wilson, James Badge Dale, and Helena Bonham Carter

Ten years ago this coming Tuesday, the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise was born. Director Gore Verbinski and star Johnny Depp proved a winning combination and put swashbuckling action back in style at that time. Now some ten years later, Verbinski and Depp are back together to see if they can recreate the fun ...
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REVIEW: For White House Down, the Pen is Not Quite Mightier Than the Sword Despite Being a Die Hard Knockoff With Political Overtones

Posted by James Brown on Friday, June 28, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

White House Down

Directed By: Roland Emmerich

Starring: Channing Tatum, Jamie Foxx, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jason Clarke, Richard Jenkins, James Woods, Garcelle Beauvais, Lance Reddick, Joey King, Rachelle LeFevre, and Michael Murphy

It's been one hell of a week. The very foundations of American democracy have been rocked by an outright malicious Supreme Court. Our Congressmen continue to extend their record streak of sitting on their asses doing nothing. We’re ultimately left to suffer from all...
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REVIEW: With Ovarian Hysteria & Sexually Stimulating Attacks, the Desensitized Augustine is the Most Sensual Patient of All

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, June 23, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Augustine

Directed By: Alice Winocour

Starring: Vincent Lindon, Soko, and Chiara Mastroianni

There haven't been quite as many weird movies at indie theaters this year thankfully. I'm happy to say we haven't gotten another Holy Motors or The Paperboy. This week, however, I think we're getting our first dose of weirdness with the French drama Augustine, a film that explores the relationship between neurologist Jean-Martin Charcot and his most interesting patient.

Augustine (Soko) is a housemaid a...
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REVIEW: Father-Son Sci-Fi Flick After Earth Does a Little Too Much Ghosting Because of the Fear Factor Named Ursa

Posted by James Brown on Friday, May 31, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

After Earth

Directed By: M. Night Shyamalan

Starring: Jaden Smith, Will Smith, Isabelle Fuhrman, Sophie Okonedo, Zoë Isabella Kravitz, and David Denman

"Fear is not real. It is a product of thoughts you create…Now do not misunderstand me, danger is very real. But fear is a choice."
-General Cypher Raige, Prime Commander (Will Smith)

In all the advertisements for After Earth over the course of 2013, one major credit has been noticeably missing, the director. The marketing efforts heavily focuse...
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REVIEW: With Peanuts, Chocolate Kennedys, & Moby Dick Day, Tyler Perry Presents Some Strange Peeples

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, May 12, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Tyler Perry Presents Peeples

Directed By: Tina Gordon Chism

Starring: Kerry Washington, Craig Robinson, David Alan Grier, Diahann Carroll, Tyler James Williams, and Kali Hawk

Tyler Perry Presents Peeples is the most ostentatious title for a movie I've ever heard in my entire life. I understand that producer Tyler Perry wants to associate his name and his brand with the film to fill theaters around the country. He's trying to make some money. I completely get that. However, that doesn't mean ...
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REVIEW: Even With Bootlegging, Boozing, & Partying, Old Sport Jay Gatsby Lacks Valor Extraordinaire and Any Hope Whatsoever

Posted by James Brown on Friday, May 10, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Great Gatsby

Directed By: Baz Luhrmann

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire, Carey Mulligan, Joel Edgerton, Isla Fisher, Jason Clarke, Amitabh Bachchan, and Elizabeth Debicki

Baz Luhrmann's "modern" take on the classic American novel The Great Gatsby was originally set to be released on Christmas day last year. This would have landed the film in direct competition with the likes of Les Miserables and Django Unchained, which were also released on the same day. To make matters worse, L...
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REVIEW: The Big Wedding: Dirty Talk, Catholicism, Sex And Scandal For The AARP Crowd

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, April 27, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Big Wedding
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Justin Zackham

Starring: Robert De Niro, Diane Keaton, Susan Sarandon, Amanda Seyfried, Topher Grace, Katherine Heigl, and Robin Williams

Color me disappointed. When I go into a film with Robert De Niro, Susan Sarandon, Robin Williams and Diane Keaton, I have certain expectations. Add in Topher Grace, and I automatically expect wit and character. But I should have known that the Katherine Heigl romantic comedy curse would continue. I cannot thi...

REVIEW: Sun Gym Bodybuilder Danny Lugo is a Doer Trying to Gain the American Dream, But Teaming with El Dad & Torturing Pepe Only Bring Pain

Posted by James Brown on Friday, April 26, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Pain & Gain

Directed By: Michael Bay

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, Ed Harris, Rob Corddry, Anthony Mackie, Tony Shalhoub, Rebel Wilson, Ken Jeong, Jennifer Nicole Lee, Yolanthe Sneijder-Cabau, and Bar Paly

We've been seeing quite a bit of The Rock lately. Unfortunately, he's had more misses than hits. He starred in the less than memorable Snitch back in February. He was then the lead in G.I. Joe: Retaliation, which was just a decent action flick by any standard. From what I've hea...
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REVIEW: To the Wonder Does Nothing to Awaken the Love, That Divine Presence Within Us

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 14, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

To the Wonder

Directed By: Terrence Malick

Starring: Ben Affleck, Olga Kurylenko, Rachel McAdams, and Javier Bardem

Two years ago, I went to bat for Terrence Malick's Tree of Life. It was an artsy movie without a lot of dialogue. At the same time, however, it was a beautiful, impactful statement about life, the universe, and parenthood. In Malick's latest movie To the Wonder, he's moved onto smaller themes, namely love and faith. Once again, he creates a film with sparse dialogue that tries ...
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REVIEW: Luciano Holds onto His Big Brother Dreams Too Long, Which is a Sad Reality for Moviegoers

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 7, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Reality

Directed By: Matteo Garrone

Starring: Aniello Arena, Loredana Simioli, Claudia Gerini, Paola Minaccioni, Ciro Petrone, Nunzia Schiano, Nando Paone, Arturo Gambardella, and Angelica Borghese

I was never big on reality TV. Sure, I watched the first few seasons of American Idol and the first season of Survivor back in the day. After that brief foray into it, I went right on back to scripted programs. That's what I knew and that's what I loved. I've never watched any of the popular serie...
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REVIEW: In Evil Dead, the Intervention for Drug Addict Mia Seriously Backfires, and the Evil Book Takes Withdrawal to New, Bloody Lows

Posted by James Brown on Friday, April 5, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Evil Dead

Directed By: Fede Alvarez

Starring: Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Lou Taylor Pucci, Jessica Lucas, and Elizabeth Blackmore

We lost a true legend this week. Roger Ebert, the man who invented modern film criticism and one whose works I've read for years, has passed away. He will definitely be missed. While we'll never get the chance to hear his thoughts on the films of tomorrow, his words are just as relevant today in an era of remakes and adaptations. This is definitely the case for ...
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REVIEW: The Host - The Wanderer, Wanda and Melanie Battle The Seeker In Stephenie Meyer’s New Film

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, March 30, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Host
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Andrew Niccol

Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Diane Kruger, Jake Abel, Max Irons, and William Hurt

With the end of the wildly successful, but critically panned Twilight series last year, teenagers are looking for the next Stephenie Meyer series to fall in love with. Enter The Host. I must say, that as I sat in the theater and a horde of giggly teenagers came pouring in, I could not help but roll my eyes and curse my luck at drawing the short stick on movie revie...

REVIEW: On the Road, Dean and Sal Have More Sex, Drugs, and Liquor Than I Thought Humanly Possible

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, March 24, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

On the Road

Directed By: Walter Salles

Starring: Sam Riley, Garrett Hedlund, Kristen Stewart, Amy Adams, Tom Sturridge, Danny Morgan, Alice Braga, Elisabeth Moss, Kirsten Dunst, Viggo Mortensen, Terrence Howard, and Steve Buscemi

Despite its impressive cast, I was never really looking forward to On the Road. This adaptation of Jack Kerouac's 1957 novel may have Mary Jane, Lois Lane, and Aragorn, but it also has Bella. I always have my doubts with a Kristen Stewart movie, or any film starring a...
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REVIEW: Thanks to Boring Old Portia, the Secret to Getting Into Princeton-Based Comedy Admission is That You Just Can't

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 23, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Admission

Directed By: Paul Weitz

Starring: Tina Fey, Paul Rudd, Michael Sheen, Lily Tomlin, Wallace Shawn, Nat Wolff, and Gloria Reuben

From the day I heard about it, I was destined to see Tina Fey's latest comedy Admission, a film shot at my alma mater Princeton University. It's a movie that satirizes the university's admissions process in which a random few get highly coveted acceptance letters. Director Paul Weitz clearly has a bull’s-eye fixed on the orange bubble and other Ivy League i...
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REVIEW: In Beyond the Hills, No Confession or Exorcism Can Cure Alina's Evil Spirit or the Movie

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 16, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Beyond the Hills

Directed By: Cristian Mungiu

Starring: Cristina Flutur, Cosmina Stratan, Valeriu Andriutâ, Dana Tapalagâ, Catalina Harabagiu, Gina Tandura, Vica Agache, Nora Covali, Dionisie Vitcu, Ionut Ghinea, Liliana Mocanu, Doru Ana, and Costache Babii

Exorcism movies are frequent, but intelligent ones are a rare gem. Like the horror genre as a whole, teen-oriented mindless exorcism movies are the norm. We're plagued with films like The Devil Inside and The Last Exorcism Part II as oppo...
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REVIEW: The Brain Rapist, Rance Holloway, and the Astonishing Jane Can't Save the Magical Friendship of Burt Wonderstone and Anton Marvelton

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 16, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

Directed By: Don Scardino

Starring: Steve Carell, Steve Buscemi, Olivia Wilde, Alan Arkin, James Gandolfini, and Jim Carrey

American culture today is bereft of any real values or meaningful qualities. Sadly, this is the product of my generation, the Millennials. The plague of reality television and an ever-growing, ever-popular online library of senseless YouTube videos are symptomatic of these problems. I'm not going to go on a full rant about everything that'...
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REVIEW: Emperor — The Fate of This Living God Is Not the Spark That Keeps This Movie Alive

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 9, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Emperor

Directed By: Peter Webber

Starring: Matthew Fox, Tommy Lee Jones, Eriko Hatsune, Toshiyuki Nishida, Kaori Momoi, and Colin Moy

World War II has been done to death on the big screen. If there's some aspect of WWII that's not been brought back to life on film, I would be genuinely stunned. Over the last 20 years alone, we've had films like Schindler's List, Saving Private Ryan, Pearl Harbor, and many more. That's why another WWII movie is the last thing we need right now, but that's exa...
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REVIEW: In 21 & Over, Jeff Chang and His Boys Have Anything But an Awesome Night With an Indian Chief and Some Latina Sorority Sisters

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 2, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

21 & Over

Directed By: Jon Lucas and Scott Moore

Starring: Justin Chon, Miles Teller, Skylar Astin, Francois Chau, and Sarah Wright

The first weekend in March seems to be the party movie weekend. Exactly one year ago, we had Thomas Mann and Oliver Cooper trying to live like legends in Project X. We all saw what happened with that movie, nothing but pointless juvenile antics. With that in mind, Hollywood has decided to fast forward a few years and tackle the big 2-1, the last frontier before r...
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REVIEW: Snitch – The Rock Enters The Drug War To Save His Son, But Doesn’t Quite Lay The Smackdown

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, February 24, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Snitch
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Ric Roman Waugh

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Susan Sarandon, Michael Kenneth Williams, Benjamin Bratt, Jon Bernthal, Rafi Gavron

I am a huge fan of Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson. He is an amazingly charismatic wrestler and he has parlayed that into an impressive movie career (i.e. The Rundown, Fast Five). Thus, I was enthusiastic about his new movie Snitch. I anticipated a butt-kicking father out for justice for his son. I thought it had the potential to be a ...

REVIEW: In Dark Skies, the Sandman and the Grays Do Nothing But Let Us Down

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 23, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Dark Skies

Directed By: Scott Stewart

Starring: Keri Russell, Josh Hamilton, and Dakota Goyo

It's Oscar weekend. I'm happy to say that we're at the end of another lengthy awards season. While it means that awards shows are thankfully at an end, it also means that we're almost through the worst part of the year for moviegoers. The key word there is almost. Unfortunately, snoozers are still crowding movie theaters. This weekend, the new snoozer at the box office goes by the name of Dark Skies...
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REVIEW: Safe Haven – An Incredibly Long Tale Involving Domestic Violence And Rediscovering Love Set In The Familiar Town Of Southport, North Carolina

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Monday, February 18, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Safe Haven
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Lasse Hallstrom

Starring: Julianne Hough, Josh Duhamel, David Lyons, Cobie Smulders, Mimi Kirkland, Noah Lomax

Happy belated Valentine’s Day movie-lovers! On cue, an adaptation of a Nicholas Sparks’ novel has hit theaters for those looking for a romantic date movie. Sparks has brought us such films as The Notebook, Message In A Bottle, Dear John, etc. Except for The Notebook, which was a phenomenal film, he is generally renowned for somewhat sappy...

REVIEW: Light or Dark, Caster Lena Duchannes Doesn't Exactly Take Gatlin by Storm in Beautiful Creatures

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 16, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Beautiful Creatures

Directed By: Richard LaGravanese

Starring: Alden Ehrenreich, Alice Englert, Jeremy Irons, Viola Davis, Emmy Rossum, Thomas Mann, and Emma Thompson

It's Valentine's Day weekend, so there's plenty of love to be found at the box office. Sappy moviegoers (and their unfortunate boyfriends or husbands) are making the obvious choice and going to see Safe Haven. Action junkies can strangely find John McClane offering a healthy dose of fatherly love in A Good Day to Die Hard. Final...
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REVIEW: Knife Fight – The Master Of Disaster Shows The End Justifies The Means In This Political Drama

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, February 10, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Knife Fight
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Bill Guttentag

Starring: Rob Lowe, Jamie Chung, Carrie-Anne Moss, Julie Bowen, and Eric McCormack

“To win in politics, you have got to be the person who is willing to bring a gun to a knife fight.” – Paul Turner (Rob Lowe)

My early year movie slump continues. I have yet to see a stellar film this year and I was hoping against hope that the Rob Lowe driven political indie Knife Fight would jump start 2013 for me. Unfortunately, it did not.

Pau...

REVIEW: Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 3D – Not Exactly Grimm’s Fairytale

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, January 26, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 3D
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Tommy Wirkola

Starring: Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton, Famke Janssen, and Peter Stormare

“If you’re gonna kill a witch, set her ass on fire.”
– Hansel (Jeremy Renner)

There has been a recent trend of modernizing traditional fairy tales and converting well known characters into butt-kicking action stars. Snow White and the Huntsman and the upcoming Jack the Giant Slayer come to mind. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 3D ...

REVIEW: Struck By Lightning – Glee’s Chris Colfer Branches Out In This Tribeca Indie Flick

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, January 20, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Struck By Lightning
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Brian Dannelly

Starring: Chris Colfer, Rebel Wilson, Allison Janney, Dermot Mulroney, Christina Hendricks, Sarah Hyland

Struck By Lightning boasts an impressive cast of television actors from shows like Modern Family, Weeds, Mad Men, Desperate Housewives and The Office. Written by Glee’s Chris Colfer, the film is a high school comedy-drama that has a great deal of promise, but ultimately plays like a made for television movie.

Struck By Ligh...

REVIEW: Like the Bolton Village Sale, Broken City Just Doesn't Add Up

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 19, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Broken City

Directed By: Allen Hughes

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Russell Crowe, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Barry Pepper, Kyle Chandler, Natalie Martinez, and Jeffrey Wright

January must be trash collection month at the box office because Hollywood keeps dumping crap onto the big screen. Our latest junk film is Broken City, a crime drama starring Mark Wahlberg, Russell Crowe, and Catherine Zeta-Jones. If released any other time of the year, it's something that would have been considered a worthwhi...

REVIEW: John Dies At The End – I Should Have Read The Book And Had A Shot of Soy Sauce Before Watching This Wacky Comedy Horror Trip

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Monday, January 14, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

John Dies At The End
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Don Coscarelli

Starring: Chase Williamson, Rob Mayes, Paul Giamatti, Glynn Turman, Clancy Brown

Happy New Year movie lovers! John Dies at the End is the first movie I am reviewing for 2013, and it is kicking my movie year off to an interesting start. A film that opens with its lead character beheading someone with an ax and pondering in a detached fashion whether an ax remains the same after it has been broken certainly gets your attention qu...

REVIEW: Please Stand By...Bad Movie Alert for Not Fade Away

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 5, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Not Fade Away

Directed By: David Chase

Starring: John Magaro, Will Brill, Jack Huston, Bella Heathcoate, Brad Garrett, James Gandolfini, and Christopher McDonald

It's January. What that means is that good new movies are hard to find at the box office. Whether you're an action junkie or an indie lover, you're in for a drought for the next couple of months. The holdovers from November and December are here to stay through the awards season. At this point, studios are gearing up to release ...

REVIEW: If Parental Guidance is the Voice of Fartie Decker, Billy Crystal Needs to Use Some New Words

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, December 26, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Parental Guidance

Directed By: Andy Fickman

Starring: Billy Crystal, Bette Midler, Marisa Tomei, and Tom Everett Scott

It's the end of the holiday movie season, and I definitely have to say that we've been on a wild ride. We've seen manly hobbits, a mutilated bisexual Bond villain, balladeer Russell Crowe, and much more. This winter has certainly had its ups and downs, but it has been a good one overall. While I would like to close the holiday season on a high note, my hands are tied. I ...

REVIEW: With Scieoclean, Deleted Messages, and Peanut M&M's, The Guilt Trip Doesn't Make a Great Sales Pitch

Posted by James Brown on Friday, December 21, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Guilt Trip

Directed By: Anne Fletcher

Starring: Seth Rogen, Barbra Streisand, Yvonne Strahovski, Adam Scott, Colin Hanks, Danny Pudi, Kathy Najimy, and Casey Rose Wilson

You've got to really be comfortable with somebody to go on a road trip with them. You're stuck with him or her for days without end in a tight space. Once you're in the car, there's no escape. I've had good road trips, and I've had some rough ones. I speak from experience when I say that you will get to know all a pe...

REVIEW: With Hot Dogs, Mistresses, and 1812 Cartoons, Hyde Park on Hudson Takes a Swing at History and Misses

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, December 15, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Hyde Park on Hudson

Directed By: Roger Michell

Starring: Bill Murray, Laura Linney, Samuel West, Olivia Colman, Elizabeth Marvel, Olivia Williams, Elizabeth Wilson, Martin McDougall, and Andrew Havill

Hollywood has made one too many movies with the Great Depression and World War II as the historical backdrop. Just look to movies like The Way Back, The Debt, and Red Tails for examples over the last couple of years alone. It's time to make movies about some other era. More specifically, we ...

REVIEW: Despite the Comedy, Home Looks Like a Much Better Option Than Deadfall

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, December 8, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Deadfall

Directed By: Stefan Ruzowitzky

Starring: Eric Bana, Olivia Wilde, Charlie Hunnam, Kate Mara, Treat Williams, Kris Kristofferson, and Sissy Spacek

We're in this annual post-Thanksgiving slump at the box office. All studios want to capitalize on the holidays, so releases are clustered around Turkey Day and Christmas. Between the holidays, we're stuck with several weekends of nothingness. Last year, it was something we just witnessed at mainstream theaters. This year, however, the ...

REVIEW: The Wolverines Throw Some Dirt on Red Dawn

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, November 22, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Red Dawn

Directed By: Dan Bradley

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Josh Peck, Josh Hutcherson, Adrianne Palicki, Isabel Lucas, Connor Cruise, and Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Propaganda films are not known for being of the highest quality. I'm not saying this is a hard and fast rule. After all, Casablanca, one of the greatest movies of all time, has its roots in World War II themed propaganda. What I am saying is that quality movies are hard to find within the genre. That's why I'm so surprised that an...

REVIEW: Anna Karenina's Impure Love Doesn't Get the Job Done. What a Sin!

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, November 17, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Anna Karenina

Directed By: Joe Wright

Starring: Keira Knightley, Jude Law, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Kelly Macdonald, Matthew Macfayden, Emily Watson, Domhnall Gleeson, and Alicia Vikander

"Romantic love will be the last delusion of the old order."
-Nikolai Levin (David Wilmot)

With the possible exception of Moonrise Kingdom, Anna Karenina has been the most heavily marketed indie flick this year. Over the course of 2012, I have seen more advertisements for this tale of love than I care to remem...

REVIEW: With the Merchant of Venice and the Loch Ness Monster, Breaking Dawn Part 2 Almost Breaks the Crappy Twilight Mold

Posted by James Brown on Friday, November 16, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2

Directed By: Bill Condon

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Ashley Greene, Kellan Lutz, Nikki Reed, and Michael Sheen

It's finally over! After three novels, four years, and countless bad performances, the Twilight plague is finally over! After enduring the first four films, I came to the final installment The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2 ready to break out the shot glasses. I had every right to be. After all...

REVIEW: What Sex is This Carrot Cheyenne? This Must Be the Place Doesn't Even Know

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, November 11, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

This Must Be the Place

Directed By: Paolo Sorrentino

Starring: Sean Penn, Frances McDormand, Judd Hirsch, Eve Hewson, Kerry Condon, and Harry Dean Stanton

"Something's not quite right here. I don't know what, but something."
-Cheyenne (Sean Penn)

That quote perfectly captures my mindset after seeing the trailer for Paolo Sorrentino's This Must Be the Place. I doubt anyone is genuinely interested in watching a road trip movie on some middle-aged rocker in retirement. Who really wants to se...

REVIEW: Despite Spidey, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and One Mean Kitty Fun Size Is Just Not Worth Fighting For

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, October 28, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Fun Size

Directed By: Josh Schwartz

Starring: Victoria Justice, Jane Levy, Thomas McDonnell, Chelsea Handler, Thomas Mann, Osric Chau, and Jackson Nicoll

More often than not, Halloween means bad horror movies for Hollywood. Every once in a while though, we get a Halloween comedy, and I do mean every once in a while. Until this weekend, it had been 17 years since the last comedy themed around the nightmarish holiday. With this in mind, this weekend's Fun Size may just be the only Halloween...

REVIEW: The Children of the Tides May Understand the Four Pillars of the Human Foundation, But Chasing Mavericks Doesn't Quite Understand the Four Pillars of Good Filmmaking

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, October 28, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Chasing Mavericks

Directed By: Curtis Hansen and Michael Apte

Starring: Gerard Butler, Leven Rambin, Jonny Weston, Elisabeth Shue, Abigail Spencer, and Taylor Handley

"We all come from the sea. But we are not all of the sea. Those of us who are, we children of the tides, must return to it again and again."
-Frosty Hesson (Gerard Butler)

I'm not a risk-taker, at least not when it comes to my physical health. I'm certainly not one who would ever willingly put myself in harm's way purely for t...

REVIEW: For Ellen: An Ode To Deadbeat Dads

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, October 27, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

For Ellen
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: So Yong Kim

Starring: Paul Dano, Jon Heder, Shaylena Mandingo, Margerita Levieva

I had high hopes when I saw the cast of For Ellen. I enjoyed Paul Dano in Little Miss Sunshine and Jon Heder is a quirky actor. The premise of a rock musician dad struggling for custody of his daughter sounded promising; and I anticipated a profound and compelling tale. While the acting is superior, the film is unfortunately quite dull.

Joby Taylor (Dano) is a struggling rock ...
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REVIEW: Alex Cross- Madea Versus A Psychopath

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, October 20, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Alex Cross
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Rob Cohen

Starring: Tyler Perry, Matthew Fox, Edward Burns, Cicely Tyson, Jean Reno, Rachel Nichols, Carmen Ejogo

Maybe my title is a little harsh. However, I am pretty sure that is what everyone was thinking when they saw the trailer for the movie, along with other burning questions: Is that Madea as a cop? Can Tyler Perry fill the shoes of Morgan Freeman who previously played Alex Cross in film adaptations of James Patterson’s novels? Why on God’s...
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REVIEW: Katie and Hunter Drop the Ball in Paranormal Activity 4

Posted by James Brown on Friday, October 19, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Paranormal Activity 4

Directed By: Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman

Starring: Katie Featherston, Kathryn Newton, Matt Shively, Brady Allen, Aiden Lovekamp, Stephen Dunham, and Alexondra Lee

I normally start out a review on a crappy horror movie by throwing around some wisecracks about Hollywood's obsession with terrible scary movies that are often tantamount to torture porn. I've got something a little different to talk about today, Hollywood's recent obsession with kids in horror movies. La...

REVIEW: In The Oranges, the Old Cow Eating the Young Grass Does Not Lead to a Happy Movie

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, October 6, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Oranges

Directed By: Julian Farino

Starring: Hugh Laurie, Leighton Meester, Catherine Keener, Adam Brody, Alia Shawkat, Oliver Platt, and Allison Janney

New Jersey. The Garden State. The state where you can't pump your own gas. It's not exactly the hottest travel destination (for good reason). It's suburbia. It's where urbanites go to die. With this in mind, it's the perfect location for a film like the dramedy The Oranges. Nothing quite says quintessential suburban life like the ...

REVIEW: I'm Not Getting Good Vibrations About The Paperboy. This is a Weird One!

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, October 6, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Paperboy

Directed By: Lee Daniels

Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Zac Efron, Nicole Kidman, John Cusack, David Oyelowo, Macy Gray, and Scott Glenn

Every once in a while, I catch a flick that leaves me feeling weird afterward. I don't know quite how to describe it. A film of this nature leaves me with seven words streaming through my mind: "What the hell did I just watch?". These flicks typically come out of left field, and it takes a while for me to process everything I've witnessed. ...

REVIEW: Hotel Transylvania May Be Paradise for Monsters, But It's Not My Zing

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 30, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Hotel Transylvania

Kids' Rating:

Adults' Rating:

Directed By: Genndy Tartakovsky

Starring: Adam Sandler, Selena Gomez, Andy Samberg, Kevin James, Fran Drescher, John Lovitz, Cee Lo Green, Steve Buscemi, Molly Shannon, and David Spade

Animated films have really taken a dark turn in recent weeks. While we had lighter films like The Lorax and Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted earlier in the year, we've now got studios bringing all kinds of monsters, ghouls, and witches to life for the kids. We...

REVIEW: Though Won't Back Down Says "Yes We Can", This Movie Really Has No Hope

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 30, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Won't Back Down

Directed By: Daniel Barnz

Starring: Maggie Gyllenhaal, Viola Davis, Holly Hunter, Oscar Isaac, Rosie Perez, Ving Rhames, and Marianne Jean-Baptiste

Sometimes, I watch a trailer, and I just know a movie will be bad. I don't have to have any reasons. I don't have to have any evidence. I just know. More often than not, I'm unfortunately right. I just knew that I was in for a bad one when I saw the trailer for the drama Won't Back Down several months ago. Because the movie ...

REVIEW: 10 Years Tries Too Hard to Be the Best You've Never Had

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 23, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

10 Years

Directed By: Jamie Linden

Starring: Channing Tatum, Justin Long, Kate Mara, Chris Pratt, Scott Porter, Brian Geraghty, Anthony Mackie, Rosario Dawson, Oscar Isaac, Lynn Collins, Max Minghella, Juliet Lopez, Aaron Yoo, Kelly Noonan, Jenna Dewan-Tatum, and Aubrey Plaza

Hollywood has a tendency to rely on its older, more proven talents to portray younger characters. Because of this, we sometimes don't relate to characters that are our age and are going through struggles similar to our...

REVIEW: As Judge, Jury, and Executioner, the Sentence is Always Death with Dredd

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, September 22, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Dredd

Directed By: Pete Travis

Starring: Karl Urban, Olivia Thirlby, Wood Harris, and Lena Headey

The fall movie season is officially under way. In other words, it's a sad time for me. We're no longer getting those awesome blockbusters with big stars like The Avengers or The Dark Knight Rises, and we're waiting on the awards season to really get started (though the release of The Master is duly noted). It's most evident this weekend with Dredd, a film based on the futuristic British comic...

REVIEW: The Words: Incomplete

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, September 9, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Words
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Brian Klugman and Lee Sternthal
Starring: Bradley Cooper, Zoe Saldana, Dennis Quaid, Jeremy Irons, Olivia Wilde

I hate to quote the President in a film review, but if I had to give The Words a grade, it would be “Incomplete.” That is how I felt as the credits rolled, and I daresay most other viewers felt the same way. But I am jumping ahead of myself. Let’s start at the beginning.

The Words is a story within a story within a story. Clayton Hammond (D...
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REVIEW: The Cold Light Of Day: Sigourney And Bruce Still Kickin’ Butt

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, September 8, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Cold Light Of Day
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Mabrouk El Mechri

Starring: Henry Cavill, Sigourney Weaver, Bruce Willis, Caroline Goodall, Rafi Gavron

I have a confession to make: I had multiple films on tap this weekend and I knew The Cold Light Of Day starred Bruce Willis. But somehow I confused The Cold Light Of Day with Bruce’s other upcoming September film, Looper. So as I sat down excited to see a time jumping action flick, I saw Henry Cavill, and I thought to myself, “Superman is...
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REVIEW: The Possession: A Lightweight Exorcist Loosely Based On A True Story

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, September 1, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Possession
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Ole Bornedal

Starring: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Kyra Sedgwick, Natasha Calis, Grant Show, Madison Davenport

I am not bothered by horror movies involving random killers like Jason, Freddy or Michael Myers. However, insanity, demons, possession and creepy kids (i.e. The Ring) freak me the hell out. So when I received the assignment to check out the new film The Possession, I was not thrilled to have to watch a tale about a possessed little girl, especially ...
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REVIEW: When the Rat Becomes the Unit of Currency, a Specter by the Name of Robert Pattinson Haunts Cosmopolis

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, August 26, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Cosmopolis

Directed By: David Cronenberg

Starring: Robert Pattinson, Paul Giamatti, Samantha Morton, Sarah Gadon, Mathieu Amalric, Juliette Binoche, and Kevin Durand

As I mentioned in my review of Robot & Frank, the other futuristic movie this weekend is David Cronenberg's Cosmopolis. Before I began writing this review, I did something I rarely do. I went to Rotten Tomatoes to check out the Tomatometer, and I was thoroughly disappointed. Apparently, Cosmopolis has a rating of 64% on RT. That...
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REVIEW: Hit and Run Pounces, Drives and Crashes into a Theater Near You

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Friday, August 24, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Hit and Run
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: David Palmer and Dax Shepard

Starring: Dax Shepard, Kristen Bell, Bradley Cooper, Tom Arnold, Joy Bryant, Kristin Chenoweth

Dax Shepard has come a long way since pulling pranks on MTV’s Punk’d. Shepard wrote, directed and starred in the new film Hit and Run. The film follows Charlie Bronson (Shepard), who has been hiding in the witness protection program for four years in the middle of nowhere. Charlie is protected by accident-prone U.S. Marshall Ran...
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REVIEW: Sparkle: Dreamgirls Without The Budget

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, August 18, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Sparkle
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Salim Akil

Starring: Jordin Sparks, Whitney Houston, Carmen Ejogo, Mike Epps, Derek Luke, Tika Sumpter

I was faced with a major crisis in nostalgia this weekend. I could review The Expendables 2 which includes every 80’s action star you can imagine or I could take a walk down memory lane with the remake of the 1976 film Sparkle. As much as I would love to see a movie that includes Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, and Bruce Willis just for the she...
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REVIEW: Despite All the Cheese, The Expendables 2 Reunites the Babysitters with the Lone Wolf Chuck Norris. No Matter How Bad It Gets, You Can't Go Wrong with Chuck.

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 17, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Expendables 2

Directed By: Simon West

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Chuck Norris, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Liam Hemsworth, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger

It's time for the AARP's annual night at the movies, and we've got a few special guests. Sylvester Stallone, a guy who lives in the past and misses his glory days, will be serving as the MC. Former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger will be strutting into the...
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REVIEW: While He's the Boy Who Keeps on Giving Leaves, Timothy Green Is Far from Perfect & Leads an Odd Life

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 17, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Odd Life of Timothy Green

Directed By: Peter Hedges

Starring: Jennifer Garner, Joel Edgerton, CJ Adams, Ron Livingston, Dianne Wiest, Odeya Rush, Rosemarie DeWitt, Lin-Manuel Miranda, M. Emmet Walsh, Lois Smith, David Morse, and Common

August is the anti-climactic part of the summer movie season. Every year, we basically get the same thing. We'll get a healthy dose of B movies, awful horror flicks, and one or two sappy films. This year, one of those sappy movies is The Odd Life of Timothy...
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REVIEW: While the Fall Enslaves Us All, Bad Filmmaking Enslaves Total Recall

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 4, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Total Recall

Directed By: Len Wiseman

Starring: Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Bryan Cranston, John Cho, and Bill Nighy

Remakes are a dime a dozen in Hollywood. To an extent, it's understandable. After more than a century of making movies, there are only so many ways you can make a film with a happy ending. However, we should never stop trying to make fresh, innovative movies. Sadly, Hollywood has gone and done just the opposite. Studios aren't really creative anymore. They ...
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REVIEW: Step Up Revolution – So You Think You Can Dance Does The Movies

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, July 29, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Step Up Revolution
SoberFilmChick

Directed By: Scott Speer

Starring: Kathryn McCormick, Ryan Guzman, Adam G. Sevani, and Peter Gallagher

Despite Soberfilmcritic’s blistering reviews of the Step Up series, we here at STMR love dance movies. Correction-I love dance movies. How could I not? As a child of the 1980’s, I grew up in the Flashdance, Footloose, Staying Alive, Dirty Dancing era. Cheesy dance movies are my forte. So I gladly volunteered to see Step Up Revolution and save my fellow ...
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REVIEW: With Orgies, Magnum Condoms, & Green Semen, The Watch Keeps Its Eye on All Kinds of Sex But Not Another Damn Thing

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, July 28, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Watch

Directed By: Akiva Schaffer

Starring: Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, Richard Ayoade, and Rosemarie DeWitt

This final weekend in July feels like déjà vu. Around this time last year, I was talking about the film Cowboys & Aliens and how it failed to live up to its hype. Despite all its talent in front of and behind the camera, the film couldn't deal with the complicated task of being a sci-fi western. Aliens don't fit too well in a world of cops and robbers. As it turns out...
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REVIEW: Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Witness Protection: Time For Madea To Retire

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, June 30, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Madea's Witness Protection
SoberFilmChick

Directed By: Tyler Perry

Starring: Tyler Perry, Eugene Levy, Denise Richards, Romeo Miller, Doris Roberts, and Marla Gibbs

While I like Tyler Perry, I suspect that he has run out of good ideas for his most famous character, Madea. Madea’s Witness Protection is just one stereotype and predictable joke after another. Rich white family? Check. Working class black family? Check. Rich white family comes into contact with black family and become fish ou...
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REVIEW: Bel Ami May Not Be a King, But Being a Manwhore Pays Well Enough

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 9, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Bel Ami

Directed By: Declan Donnellan and Nick Ormerod

Starring: Robert Pattinson, Uma Thurman, Kristin Scott Thomas, Christina Ricci, and Colm Meaney

I'm not going to sugarcoat it. Robert Pattinson is not my favorite actor. His Twilight flicks are everything movies shouldn't be — utter crap. Team Edward has corrupted a generation of female moviegoers. If his career in the acting world must continue, a film like Bel Ami is a good fit for him. After all, playing a manwhore is a step up fro...
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REVIEW: What to Expect When You’re Expecting — Pregnancy Sucks

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, May 19, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

What to Expect When You're Expecting
SoberFilmChick

Directed By: Kirk Jones

Starring: Jennifer Lopez, Cameron Diaz, Matthew Morrison, Rodrigo Santoro, Elizabeth Banks, Anna Kendrick, Brooklyn Decker, Dennis Quaid, Chris Rock, Chace Crawford, and Cheryl Cole

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I read the best-selling book What to Expect When You’re Expecting and it really was a pregnancy “bible.” So I was excited to see what the film would do with the topic of pregnancy and preparing for ...
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REVIEW: With Chicken Burritos, Mighty Mo, & the Art of War, Hasbro's Battleship is a Transformers Wannabe

Posted by James Brown on Friday, May 18, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Battleship

Directed By: Peter Berg

Starring: Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgård, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Liam Neeson

When I first heard of the movie Battleship, I laughed uncontrollably. First of all, Hollywood is so desperate for money that they’re trying to turn a board game into a film. Second, the film's got plenty of potential to have some terrible acting from a cast that includes the likes of Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker. Finally, the awful trailers made it clear to me that Battlesh...
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REVIEW: The Perfect Family Plays Like a Lifetime Movie

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Wednesday, May 16, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Perfect Family
SoberFilmChick

Directed By: Anne Renton

Starring: Kathleen Turner, Emily Deschanel, and Jason Ritter

I am a huge Kathleen Turner fan. I grew up on films like Romancing the Stone and The War of the Roses. So I was delighted when I was tasked to review The Perfect Family, Turner’s new indie flick. While the film definitely has some bright moments, it unfortunately feels more like a made for television movie.

The Perfect Family follows Eileen Cleary (Turner), a dutiful Catholic...
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REVIEW: Blood Is Thicker Than Water, But Barnabas Fights on for the Collins Family in Vain in Dark Shadows

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 12, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Dark Shadows

Directed By: Tim Burton

Starring: Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter, Eva Green, Jackie Earle Haley, Jonny Lee Miller, Chloë Grace Moretz, and Bella Heathcoate

When 21 Jump Street came out back in March, we all thought it was just another adaptation of a TV show to the big screen. What was the point of bringing the 80s show back to life? When Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum proved us wrong however, we couldn't have been happier. I was hoping Dark Shadows, an adap...
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REVIEW: Quoth The Raven, "Nevermore Shall I Torture Myself with This Crap!"

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 28, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Raven

Directed By: James McTeigue

Starring: John Cusack, Alice Eve, Oliver Jackson-Cohen, Luke Evans, Kevin McNally, Pam Ferris, Sergej Trifunovic, Ian Virgo, and Sam Hazeldine

2012 supposedly marks the end of the world. Since I'm writing this review, I'm inclined to think otherwise. Hell, I'd argue that 2012 marks the year history will be rewritten. We've got Abraham Lincoln becoming a vampire hunter. We've got Snow White becoming an action hero. We've even got Edgar Allan Poe becoming...
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REVIEW: The Algebra of Love. With Too Many Doufi and Not Enough Playboy Operators, Damsels in Distress Doesn't Quite Get the Math Right

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 15, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Damsels in Distress

Directed By: Whit Stillman

Starring: Greta Gerwig, Adam Brody, Analeigh Tipton, Megalyn Echikunwoke, Carrie MacLemore, Hugo Becker, and Ryan Metcalf

While I typically go to the movies to be swept away in some story or adventure, I occasionally learn something when at the theaters. When I recently watched Whit Stillman's Damsels in Distress, I got an interesting lesson in ethics. According to the girls in the film, one's morality and the size of his or her posterior are conn...
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REVIEW: Brake- Don’t Stop For This Crap

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, April 14, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Brake
SoberFilmChick

Directed By: Gabe Torres

Starring: Stephen Dorff, Chyler Leigh, JR Bourne, and Tom Berenger

Imagine Die Hard if Bruce Willis was trapped in a glass coffin for an hour and a half and all he had was his wits to battle terrorists. Oh yeah, and Bruce was neither charismatic nor funny. Does that sound entertaining? No? Well neither was Brake.

In Brake, Secret Service agent Jeremy Reins (Stephen Dorff) wakes up in a glass coffin. Much to his horror, he is being held captive by t...
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REVIEW: American Reunion May Be Filled With All Kinds of Sex, But It Ain't That Funny

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 7, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

American Reunion

Directed By: Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg

Starring: Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Seann William Scott, Mena Suvari, and Tara Reid

It's hard to believe that it's been 13 years since the first American Pie film came out. It's even harder to believe that the movie has spawned seven sequels. Filmmakers have revisited the original gang twice and introduced viewers to other members of the Stifler family in several spin-offs....
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REVIEW: Jeff Should've Stayed at Home

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 17, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Jeff, Who Lives at Home

Directed By: Jay Duplass and Mark Duplass

Starring: Jason Segel, Ed Helms, Judy Greer, Rae Dawn Chong, and Susan Sarandon

If there is one universal thing that can drive anyone and everyone crazy, it's family. They know what makes you tick and how to exploit it. They know how to push your buttons more so than anyone. That's why you have to move out when you come of a certain age. Apparently, Jeff, Who Lives At Home, didn't get the memo.

Thirty something Jeff (Jason Sege...
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REVIEW: Silent House Is Authentically Mediocre

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 10, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Silent House

Directed By: Chris Kentis and Laura Lau

Starring: Elizabeth Olsen, Adam Trese, Eric Sheffer Stevens, Julia Taylor Ross, and Haley Murphy

These days, the horror genre is more predictable than ever. You get a few kills, a few hot girls, and more than a few bad actors. When there's talk of the downfall of modern mainstream cinema, the conversation wouldn't be complete without mentioning how crappy horror flicks are these days. That's why I'm so surprised that the talented young actr...
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REVIEW: Project X Is Anything But Epic

Posted by James Brown on Friday, March 2, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Project X

Directed By: Nima Nourizadeh

Starring: Thomas Mann, Oliver Cooper, Jonathan Daniel Brown, Nichole Bloom, and Alexis Knapp

Project X has been a pretty hyped up film. With it being marketed as "Superbad on crack" and having filmmaker Todd Phillips (Old School, The Hangover) on board as a producer, the movie has every reason to be awesome. With all that in mind, I expected it to be. I expected to laugh my ass off. Having now seen Project X, I can say that it's not so awesome after all...
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REVIEW: Gone is a Well-Intentioned Thriller on Crack

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 25, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Gone

Directed By: Heitor Dhalia

Starring: Amanda Seyfried, Jennifer Carpenter, and Wes Bentley

Amanda Seyfried is one actress who is definitely on the rise. She has the talent to do great things in her career. She just hasn't had the right roles. Having been in films such as Dear John, Jennifer's Body, and Red Riding Hood, she hasn't exactly built a stellar filmography. Seyfried is so much better than the films she makes. Unfortunately, she's added another bad film to her résumé — Heito...
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REVIEW: Journey 2: The Mysterious Island - Terminal Intensity For Kids

Posted by Mary Dieng on Saturday, February 11, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island
Mary Dieng

Directed By: Brad Peyton

Starring: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Michael Caine, Josh Hutcherson, Vanessa Hudgens, and Kristin Davis

I encountered the best part of Journey 2: The Mysterious Island days before its release. In the Twitterverse, actor Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol) commented on the Journey 2 movie poster, saying “Every morning on the way to work I see a big poster of The Rock riding a bee with termina...
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REVIEW: Moments of Impact. The Vow Offered Very Few of Them.

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 11, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Vow

Directed By: Michael Sucsy

Starring: Channing Tatum, Rachel McAdams, Sam Neill, Scott Speedman, Jessica Lange, and Jessica McNamee

I can't lie. I'm not a huge fan of Channing Tatum. I think he's a very limited actor whose best moments on screen are those when he's not talking. At the same time, I'm a fan of Rachel McAdams. It's been a long time since the days of Mean Girls and Wedding Crashers, and I've enjoyed watching her grow as an actress over the years. With each new role she ta...
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REVIEW: Loosies – Pickpockets Have Problems Too

Posted by Mary Dieng on Sunday, January 29, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Loosies
Mary Dieng

Directed By: Michael Corrente

Starring: Peter Facinelli, Jaimie Alexander, Michael Madsen, Joe Pantoliano, and Vincent Gallo

Criminals, they’re just like the rest of us! They work their nine to five jobs with little financial reward and the “man” on their backs. They take care of their moms, and they don’t make the best decisions when it comes to love. Who knew?

Bobby (Peter Facinelli) is a thirty-something year old pickpocket who works the streets of New York. Bobb...
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REVIEW: Albatross – A Lightweight, Less Provocative American Beauty

Posted by Mary Dieng on Saturday, January 28, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Albatross
Mary Dieng

Directed By: Niall MacCormick

Starring: Jessica Brown-Findlay, Sebastian Koch, Julia Ormond, and Felicity Jones

I guess it is unfair to compare this British coming of age dramedy to American Beauty. But it’s not a big leap. Bored middle-aged dad? Check. “Shrew-like” mom? Check. Relatively nondescript teenage daughter? Check. Sexy free-spirited best friend of said teenage daughter? Check. Dysfunctional family? Check, Check, Check, Check.

Jonathan Fischer (Sebastia...
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REVIEW: The Man on a Ledge Should Go Ahead and Jump Off. It Would Make My Day.

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 28, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Man on a Ledge

Directed By: Asger Leth

Starring: Ed Harris, Sam Worthington, Elizabeth Banks, Anthony Mackie, Jamie Bell, and Génesis Rodriguez

In any heist flick, there's a certain amount of crap that filmmakers pull that will just never be believable, but we as moviegoers let it slide. We suspend our disbelief. In Fast Five, did you really think Toretto and O'Conner were able to swap vaults with their team members while they were all driving at 80 to 90 miles per hour? In the Ocean's flick...
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REVIEW: Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close Is Extremely Slow & Incredibly Boring

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, January 22, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Directed By: Stephen Daldry

Starring: Tom Hanks, Sandra Bullock, Thomas Horn, Max von Sydow, Viola Davis, John Goodman, Jeffrey Wright, and Zoe Caldwell

For all of us, September 11th, 2001 is a day that will be etched in our memories until the day we die. We'll never forget the devastation that took place in New York and DC on that day. Having just recently marked the tenth anniversary of one of the most tragic days in American history, it's fitting that Holly...
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REVIEW: A Couple of Cocktails Are Needed to Confront The Devil Inside

Posted by Zach Davis on Friday, January 13, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Devil Inside
Zach Davis

Directed by: William Brent Bell

Starring: Fernanda Andrade, Simon Quarterman, Evan Helmuth, Ionut Grama, and Susan Crowley

It seems every year there is a new film out about possession and exorcism, with very few offering new perspectives or insights. The Devil Inside is another one of these movies although it offers a bit of originality given that it’s presented in the format of a documentary. This documentary style helps make the movie seem more real and authentic...
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REVIEW: Contraband Is Not the Good Stuff We've Gotten Used to These Past Few Weeks

Posted by James Brown on Friday, January 13, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Contraband

Directed By: Baltasar Kormákur

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Kate Beckinsale, Ben Foster, and Giovanni Ribisi

As a moviegoer, January is always the hardest time of the year. Having just finished the awards season, we now have to put up with the crap that Hollywood wouldn't put out at any other point in the year because it simply isn't good enough. We're starting out this January with a little star power in Contraband. With Mark Wahlberg and Kate Beckinsale, you can't go wrong, in theor...
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REVIEW: The Sitter is a TV Movie That Fell Through the Cracks and Somehow Made It to the Big Screen

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, December 11, 2011, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Sitter

Directed By: David Gordon Green

Starring: Jonah Hill, Ari Graynor, and Max Records

Whether a comedian or action star, most male actors have had low points in their careers where they end up babysitting on the big screen. The Pacifier, Daddy Day Care, and Kindergarten Cop all epitomize these low points. In his latest film The Sitter, Jonah Hill decides to join the club and go down this same sad path as many actors before him have gone.

Noah (Jonah Hill) was suspended from college af...
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REVIEW: New Year's Eve Doesn't Get the Party Started Right

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, December 10, 2011, In : 0.09% Cocktails

New Year's Eve

Directed By: Garry Marshall

Starring: Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Jon Bon Jovi, Zac Efron, Ashton Kutcher, Hilary Swank, Abigail Breslin, Halle Berry, Katherine Heigl, Jessica Biel, Sarah Jessica Parker, Lea Michele, Josh Duhamel, Sofia Vergara, Ludacris, Til Schweiger, and Seth Meyers

New Year's Eve is one of my favorite days of the year. The booze are freely flowing, and the party never stops no matter where you are. If you happen to be in New York for New Year's, the h...
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REVIEW: J. Edgar Is a Class Act for One of America's Most Controversial Men...BORING!

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, November 13, 2011, In : 0.09% Cocktails

J. Edgar

Directed By: Clint Eastwood

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Armie Hammer, Naomi Watts, Josh Lucas, and Judi Dench

Clint Eastwood is a legendary actor, a beloved filmmaker, and an American icon. He has undoubtedly left an indelible mark on the world of film. It's only fitting that he be the one to tackle a biopic on J. Edgar Hoover, the infamous, controversial FBI Director who forever changed the landscape of law enforcement. On top of that, he has a phenomenal star playing Hoover--Leona...
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REVIEW: Killer Elite Is in An Elite Group of Crappy Action Films

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, September 24, 2011, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Killer Elite

Directed By: Gary McKendry

Starring: Jason Statham, Clive Owen, Robert De Niro, Yvonne Strahovski, and Dominic Purcell

Catwoman, Alexander, The Last Airbender, and the recent movie Abduction are among an elite group of action films that absolutely, unequivocally suck. With each of these films, there was a megastar or a lot of hype surrounding the movie, and with each of these films, audiences were sorely disappointed. Clearly, bad action flicks aren't hard to come by. When I hear...
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REVIEW: I Want Whatever James Woods Was Drinking in Straw Dogs

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 18, 2011, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Straw Dogs

Directed By: Rod Lurie

Starring: James Marsden, Kate Bosworth, Alexander Skarsgård, and James Woods

Remakes are a dime a dozen these days in Hollywood. Very few live up to the originals. More often than not, you'll see movies like Poseidon, The Day the Earth Stood Still, and Clash of the Titans as opposed to True Grit, Ocean's Eleven, and The Departed. Unfortunately, Rod Lurie's remake of Straw Dogs falls in the former category, and you'll need to pre-game for this one.

After her d...
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REVIEW: Helen Mirren is No Kick-Ass Granny in The Debt

Posted by James Brown on Monday, September 5, 2011, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Debt

Directed By: John Madden

Starring: Helen Mirren, Sam Worthington, Jessica Chastain, and Tom Wilkinson

A good spy thriller always has twists and turns in the plot. It keeps you guessing for a while. A great spy thriller always has a badass lead. Steven Spielberg's Munich is a strong example of a great spy thriller. All the drama, thrills, and plot twists were there, but those boys were kicking some ass in the process. With Helen Mirren starring in John Madden's The Debt, I was hopin...
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REVIEW: Don't Be Afraid of Don't Be Afraid of the Dark

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, August 30, 2011, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark

Directed By: Troy Nixey

Starring: Katie Holmes, Guy Pearce, and Bailee Madison

2011 has not been a particularly great year for horror flicks. There's just been one waste of fake blood after another. Bringing Guillermo del Toro into the horror fold for a run at producing Don't Be Afraid of the Dark was a beacon of hope. His well-documented creativity and unique visuals would have been a welcomed addition to the genre. It was supposed to be the light at the end of t...
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REVIEW: The Change-Up Needs a Makeover Into an R-Rated Comedy

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, August 7, 2011, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Change-Up

Directed By: David Dobkin

Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Jason Bateman, Leslie Mann, and Olivia Wilde

Ryan Reynolds and Olivia Wilde cannot put out a good film this year. Green Lantern and Cowboys & Aliens— films starring Reynolds and Wilde respectively — have been critically panned and have had anything but stellar performances at the box office. For The Change-Up, they bring Jason Bateman and Leslie Mann into their slump. The Change-Up is a heartwarming, wholesome comedy trying ...
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REVIEW: Cowboys & Aliens Has the Right Talent But Not the Right Act

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, August 7, 2011, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Cowboys & Aliens

Directed By: Jon Favreau

Starring: Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, and Olivia Wilde

The idea of combining the Wild West and outer space in a film is just so crazy that it could have worked. With names like Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard, and Jon Favreau behind Cowboys & Aliens, we should have expected great things from the film. An even better case could be made for the movie given that it's starring Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford. Unfortunately, the film does not live up to its h...
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REVIEW: Friends with Benefits Offers Few Benefits for Moviegoers

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, August 7, 2011, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Friends with Benefits

Directed By: Will Gluck

Starring: Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis

The romantic comedies keep coming this summer. Most of them lack originality and style. Some even lack genuine romance or comedy. Nowadays, they're just counter-programming to big blockbusters like Harry Potter and Transformers. Will Gluck's Friends with Benefits is another one of these unoriginal, unfunny romantic comedies. The romance between Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis is there, but the laughs a...
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REVIEW: Transformers Fails to Transform the Hype into Greatness

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, August 2, 2011, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Directed by: Michael Bay

Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, and John Turturro

Like any moviegoer, I went into Transformers expecting lots of action and lots of laughs. I certainly got all the guns, stunts, and special effects that an action junkie like myself could ever want. I certainly got the laughs too, but I was still disappointed at the end of the film. A lot is missing from the film that keeps it from becoming ...
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