Current Reviews - Sobriety Test Movie Reviews

REVIEW: To Defeat the Witch Queen for Ax & Cross, Last Witch Hunter Kaulder Must Remember Your Death With the Help of Dream Walker Chloe

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, October 25, 2015 In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

The Last Witch Hunter

Directed By: Breck Eisner

Starring: Vin Diesel, Rose Leslie, Elijah Wood, and Michael Caine

Considering he began Universal's amazing streak this year with the $1.5 billion box office haul of Furious 7 and that he solidified his place in the Marvel Cinematic Universe as Groot in last year's Guardians of the Galaxy, Vin Diesel should be on top of the world right now. He should be taking a victory lap before getting back to the things that are helping his career to flourish. ...

REVIEW: With Synergy 51N3RG-Y But Fearing the Unknown, Jem and the Holograms Doesn’t Quite Uncover the Mystery or the Dismal Mediocrity of Starlight Enterprises

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, October 25, 2015 In : 0.09% Cocktails

Jem and the Holograms

Directed By: Jon M. Chu

Starring: Aubrey Peeples, Stefanie Scott, Hayley Kiyoko, Aurora Perrineau, Juliette Lewis, Ryan Guzman, and Molly Ringwald

Other than Back to the Future Day, it's safe to say that films not named Star Wars are hardly getting any love this week. With sites crashing, world records breaking, and tickets being scalped for as much as $10,000, it's safe to say that Star Wars is dominating the pop culture landscape once again. That's why I'm less than sho...

REVIEW: For A Monstrous Love, Many Women Have Sipped the Poisonous Tea at Allerdale Hall in Crimson Peak

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, October 25, 2015 In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Crimson Peak

Directed By: Guillermo del Toro

Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Jessica Chastain, Tom Hiddleston, Charlie Hunnam, and Jim Beaver

I've been highly critical of the horror genre since I began STMR (and long before that as well). There are few films I've given high marks in recent years including slasher flick You're Next and supernatural horror flick It Follows. Still, the genre's been languishing in my eyes for quite some time. The proof is in the mockumentary-flavored pudding Hollywood ...

REVIEW: In Bridge of Spies, Standing Man James B. Donovan Gives Us More Than Just a 2-for-1 at Glienicke Bridge & Checkpoint Charlie

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, October 17, 2015 In : 0.00% Water

Bridge of Spies

Directed By: Steven Spielberg

Starring: Tom Hanks, Mark Rylance, Amy Ryan, and Alan Alda

"You're not worried?!"

-James B. Donovan (Tom Hanks)

"Would it help?"

-Rudolf Abel (Mark Rylance)

There is such a thing as a match made in heaven on the big screen. Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks are living proof of this. You need to look no further than films such as Saving Private Ryan, Catch Me If You Can, and The Terminal. Any collaboration between these two cinema legends is a 2-for-1 spe...

REVIEW: Playing the Orchestra But Not TIME's Man of the Year, Steve Jobs Is All About Clouds, Love & Life

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, October 17, 2015 In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Steve Jobs

Directed By: Danny Boyle

Starring: Michael Fassbender, Kate Winslet, Seth Rogen, and Jeff Daniels

The adaptations keep on coming. I obsess over the unusually large wave of films based on books, public figures, and other source materials as this fall movie season rolls onward. As I look at the slate of films on hand this weekend, I've come to realize that there's a smaller trend in recent years as well, one focused on technology. Recognizing the role technology plays in our lives, H...

REVIEW: Pan Doesn't Exactly Mine the Pixie Dust of Neverland Into Movie Magic

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, October 17, 2015 In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Pan

Directed By: Joe Wright

Starring: Levi Miller, Hugh Jackman, Garrett Hedlund, Rooney Mara, and Amanda Seyfried

I've said this time and time again. Getting a release date pushed back is a curse for a film. The proof is in the product put out by the studio when a film's release date is the hot potato nobody wants. Seventh Son was a great example of this earlier in the year. As fate would have it, this Columbus Day weekend offers another film that unfortunately fits this bill with Joe Wrigh...

REVIEW: In The Walk, French High-Wire Artist Philippe Petit Leads a Crazy Coup Atop the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, October 4, 2015 In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Walk

Directed By: Robert Zemeckis

Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ben Kingsley, Charlotte Le Bon, James Badge Dale, Ben Schwartz, and Steve Valentine

It's amazing how each movie season seems to have a theme or trend. I said this a couple of weeks ago, but this fall movie season is all about adaptations. It's being proven once again this weekend at the box office by the two big releases of the hour. In one corner, we have Ridley Scott's The Martian, an adaptation of Andy Weir's 2011 novel ...

REVIEW: In The Martian, Ares Space Pirate Mark Watney Doubles As Iron Man to Pull Off Project Elrond & Survive More Than 500 Sols With Potatoes

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, October 3, 2015 In : 0.00% Water

The Martian

Directed By: Ridley Scott

Starring: Matt Damon, Jessica Chastain, Kristen Wiig, Jeff Daniels, Michael Peña, Kate Mara, Sean Bean, Sebastian Stan, Aksel Hennie, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Donald Glover, and Mackenzie Davis

Alfonso Cuaron's Gravity may have hit a nerve in the human psyche and started a trend at the box office. Every year since Gravity's debut on the big screen back in 2013, we've had a space epic arrive. With each, we have interesting collective dialogue about the authentici...

REVIEW: In the Land of Wolves, Sicario Kate Macer Fights the Coming Medellin

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, October 3, 2015 In : 0.00% Water

Sicario

Directed By: Denis Villeneuve

Starring: Emily Blunt, Benicio del Toro, Josh Brolin, Victor Garber, and Jon Bernthal

There are lots of great movies out there, but there are few that I would characterize as beasts. There's a certain raw energy that marks these kinds of movies that's unmistakable. The Wolf of Wall Street had a beast-like ferocity. Whiplash raged. Mad Max: Fury Road roared into theaters earlier this summer. These are the kinds of great movies we don't get every day. Th...

REVIEW: The Intern Ben Whittaker Charms Jules Ostin & Her About The Fit (ATF) Staff With A Handkerchief & A Briefcase

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 27, 2015

The Intern

Directed By: Nancy Meyers

Starring: Robert De Niro, Anne Hathaway, Rene Russo, and Adam DeVine

Republicans have gotten away with spewing record amounts of crap at voters over the last several months. From Planned Parenthood selling fetal organs on the black market to Social Security becoming solvent again with tax revenues from pimps and prostitutes, it's safe to say that this has been one of the most bizarre election years of most of our lifetimes. The central tenet underlying the p...

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REVIEW: To Defeat the Witch Queen for Ax & Cross, Last Witch Hunter Kaulder Must Remember Your Death With the Help of Dream Walker Chloe

REVIEW: With Synergy 51N3RG-Y But Fearing the Unknown, Jem and the Holograms Doesn’t Quite Uncover the Mystery or the Dismal Mediocrity of Starlight Enterprises

REVIEW: For A Monstrous Love, Many Women Have Sipped the Poisonous Tea at Allerdale Hall in Crimson Peak

REVIEW: In Bridge of Spies, Standing Man James B. Donovan Gives Us More Than Just a 2-for-1 at Glienicke Bridge & Checkpoint Charlie

REVIEW: Playing the Orchestra But Not TIME's Man of the Year, Steve Jobs Is All About Clouds, Love & Life

REVIEW: Pan Doesn't Exactly Mine the Pixie Dust of Neverland Into Movie Magic

REVIEW: In The Walk, French High-Wire Artist Philippe Petit Leads a Crazy Coup Atop the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center

REVIEW: In The Martian, Ares Space Pirate Mark Watney Doubles As Iron Man to Pull Off Project Elrond & Survive More Than 500 Sols With Potatoes

REVIEW: In the Land of Wolves, Sicario Kate Macer Fights the Coming Medellin

REVIEW: The Intern Ben Whittaker Charms Jules Ostin & Her About The Fit (ATF) Staff With A Handkerchief & A Briefcase

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