REVIEW: Unlucky S.O.B. Dom Hemingway, a Man With No Options, Suddenly Has All the Options in the World When the Pendulum of Luck Swings His Way

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 13, 2014 In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Dom Hemingway





Directed By: Richard Shepard

Starring: Jude Law, Richard E. Grant, Demián Bichir, Emilia Clarke, Kerry Condon, Jumayn Hunter, and Mãdãlina Diana Ghenea

"Oh.  I'll tell you who I am.  I'm the f*cker who'll tear your nose off with my teeth.  I'm the f*cker who will gut you with a dull cheese knife and sing Gilbert and Sullivan while I do it.  I'm the f*cker who'll dump your dead body in a freezing cold lake and watch you sink to the bottom like so much shit.  I am that f*cker.  Th...
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REVIEW: In Under the Skin, Hot Alien Scarlett Johansson Seduces the Men of Scotland Into Her Pool of Black Tar-Like Liquid

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 13, 2014 In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Under the Skin





Directed By: Jonathan Glazer

Starring: Scarlett Johansson

It's been quite a while since we've had a weird one at the indie box office.  There was no movie like Holy Motors or The Paperboy in 2013 to leave me utterly baffled by what transpired on the big screen.  Thus far, I can mostly say the same thing about 2014.  No filmmaker has tested the limits of moviegoers' tolerance for the bizarre or disgusting this year.  One movie this spring comes close to doing so, however.  That's J...
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REVIEW: Thanks to the Lasser Glass in Oculus, Tim and Kaylie Confront Their' Bloody, Troubled Childhood Right in the Mirror

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 13, 2014 In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Oculus





Directed By: Mike Flanagan

Starring: Katee Sackhoff, Karen Gillan, Brenton Thwaites, Rory Cochrane, Annalise Basso, and Garrett Ryan

In the horror department, 2014 has some big shoes to fill.  In the wake of a diverse slate of films back in 2013 including You're Next, The Conjuring, and The Purge, scary movie lovers rightfully have some pretty high expectations.  Considering flicks like Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones and Devil's Due, this year's entries into the genre have missed th...
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REVIEW: Rio 2 – A Music-Filled Blue Macaw Romp In The Amazon That Falls Short

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, April 12, 2014 In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Rio 2
SoberFilmChick




Directed by: Carlos Saldanha

Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Anne Hathaway, Leslie Mann, Bruno Mars, Jermaine Clement, George Lopez, Jamie Foxx, will.i.am, Rita Moreno, Tracy Morgan, and Andy Garcia

Computer animated films are a dime a dozen at this point.  In the “olden” days, one or two animated films would be released in a given year.  However, studios have seized on the economic potential of family friendly animated films and are rolling out computer animated films with in...

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REVIEW: For No. 1 Pick Bo Callahan & His Magic Beans, Cleveland Browns General Manager Sonny Weaver Sells the Cow on Draft Day

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 12, 2014 In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Draft Day





Directed By: Ivan Reitman

Starring: Kevin Costner, Jennifer Garner, Denis Leary, Frank Langella, Sam Elliott, Ellen Burstyn, and Chadwick Boseman

I despise utterly predictable films.  As a moviegoer, there's nothing worse than wasting my time on a movie that offers nothing refreshing or imaginative whatsoever.  Arguably, that's most of what we're facing at the box office this weekend.  We've got another animated sequel in Rio 2 intended to tap into parents' wallets.  We've also got ano...
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REVIEW: Despite Baseball Bats, Hammers, & Uco's Fiery Ambition, It's Rama's Time to Rage in The Raid 2: Berandal

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 5, 2014 In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
The Raid: Berandal





Directed By: Gareth Evans

Starring: Iko Uwais, Arifin Putra, Oka Antara, Tio Pakusadewo, Alex Abbad, Julie Estelle, Ryuhei Matsuda, Kenichi Endo, and Kazuki Kitamura

Applause is a memorable thing in a movie theater.  In a place where silence is golden, it's the rarest of signs of utter amazement and respect for what an audience has just witnessed on the big screen.  I reflect on films like The Dark Knight, The Avengers, and Moonrise Kingdom and remember the applause that came ...
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REVIEW: In the Age of Miracles, A Troubled Running Man Captain America Faces the Ghost Story Winter Soldier To Stop Hydra’s Project Insight Helicarriers

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 5, 2014 In : 0.00% Water 
Captain America: The Winter Soldier





Directed By: Anthony Russo and Joe Russo

Starring: Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Cobie Smulders, Frank Grilli, Emily VanCamp, Hayley Atwell, Robert Redford, and Samuel L. Jackson

"On your left..."
-Steve Rogers/Captain America (Chris Evans)

Shared movie universes are the new thing in Hollywood.  With the imminent The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Sony is laying the foundations for the Sinister Six and an unfathomable nine films surroun...
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REVIEW: During Le Week-End, Nick & Meg Do the Madison Dance From Jean-Luc Godard’s Bande à part All Throughout Paris

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, April 2, 2014 In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Le Week-End





Directed By: Roger Michell

Starring: Jim Broadbent, Lindsay Duncan, and Jeff Goldblum

A rainy weekend means one thing for most people — staying at home and getting some R&R.  Whether burying ourselves in movies, video games, or nice fluffy pillows, I'm sure we all are finding some way to enjoy the rainy weather.  For me, the rain drops falling means the same old stuff.  I'm headed to the movies to check out the latest and greatest in theaters.  The latest, but not exactly the great...
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REVIEW: Sabotage – Breacher Delivers Violence, But Not Much Else

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, March 30, 2014 In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Sabotage
SoberFilmChick




Directed by: David Ayer

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sam Worthington, Olivia Williams, Terrence Howard, Joe Manganiello, Harold Perrineau, Martin Donovan, Max Martini, Josh Holloway, and Mireille Enos

Since his political career ended and his marital woes took center stage, Arnold Schwarzenegger has not been able to connect with American audiences.  His most recent films, The Last Stand and Escape Plan were box office duds domestically, and his latest action thriller Sa...
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REVIEW: Despite the Wicked Tubul-cain, Noah & Fallen Angels Known as the Watchers Brace for Some Watery Climate Change from the Creator

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 29, 2014 In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Noah





Directed By: Darren Aronofsky

Starring: Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Ray Winstone, Emma Watson, Logan Lerman, Douglas Booth, and Anthony Hopkins

In my reviews of Lars von Trier's Nymphomaniac films, I wrote at length about how more socially conservative moviegoers bashed the film without having seen it.  In the case of Darren Aronofsky's Noah, the studio enabled this portion of the moviegoing public to take some shots at the movie long before it arrived in theaters.  Holding test scree...
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