Current Reviews - Sobriety Test Movie Reviews

REVIEW: With a Wikileaks Cable on Project Nightshade & Bailey's Red Mercury, Frank, Marvin, and Sarah Hit Paris, Moscow, & London in Red 2

Posted by James Brown on Friday, July 19, 2013 In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Red 2

Directed By: Dean Parisot

Starring: Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, Mary-Louise Parker, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Lee Byung-hun, Anthony Hopkins, Helen Mirren, Brian Cox, David Thewlis, and Neal McDonough

Thursday July 18th marked some interesting anniversaries in movie history earlier this week. It marked the 25th anniversary of John McTiernan's Die Hard, a movie that redefined the action genre and put Bruce Willis on the map in Hollywood. It also marked the 5th anniversary of Christopher Nol...
Continue reading...

REVIEW: Hairy Crystal Fairy & Pollo & the Magical San Pedro Cactus & the World's End in 2012 on the Mayan Calendar & One Crazy Movie

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, July 18, 2013 In : 0.09% Cocktails

Crystal Fairy & the Magical Cactus and 2012

Directed By: Sebastián Silva

Starring: Michael Cera, Gaby Hoffmann, Juan Andrés Silva, José Miguel Silva, and Agustín Silva

With all that's going on in America these days, it might be time for a little vacation. Regardless of your perspective on the array of events and issues of the day, I'm sure you can agree that it might be time to get some distance, perhaps in the form of international travel. While we all can't just hop on a plane and leave ...

REVIEW: Unfortunately for Vampires Clara and Eleanor, Neil Jordan Throws the Pages of Their Story at Byzantium to the Wind

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, July 14, 2013 In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Byzantium

Directed By: Neil Jordan

Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Gemma Arterton, Sam Riley, Jonny Lee Miller, and Caleb Landry Jones

As prevalent as vampire movies are, it's difficult to find a good one. The ones we've gotten in recent years say enough. Just go torture yourself with Twilight, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, or Kiss of the Damned. Like the horror genre as a whole, it's bad, but it just keeps on going. When Neil Jordan, the director who created the delightfully devilish show The B...
Continue reading...

REVIEW: Pacific Rim – Jaegers Battle Kaijus In This Godzilla Meets Voltron Meets War Of The Worlds Flick

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, July 14, 2013 In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Pacific Rim
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Guillermo del Toro

Starring: Idris Elba, Charlie Hunnam, Rinko Kikuchi, Charlie Day, Ron Perlman, Rob Kazinsky, and Max Martini

Pacific Rim is an interesting entry into the summer 2013 blockbuster season. It is not a sequel, it does not contain an A-list cast, and the title is a little bland. Moreover, there was even controversy before its release as Michael Bay seemingly took potshots at Pacific Rim as a Transformers rip-off. Pacific Rim however delivers ...
Continue reading...

REVIEW: Cop Shaquille O'Neal, Frat Boy Taylor Lautner, and Bully Stone Cold Can't Save the 80s Burpsnart-Filled Disaster Called Grown Ups 2

Posted by James Brown on Friday, July 12, 2013 In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Grown Ups 2

Directed By: Dennis Dugan

Starring: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, Salma Hayek, Maya Rudolph, Maria Bello, and Nick Swardson

The Burpsnart. What in the blue hell has gone wrong with the 2013 summer movie season, and why has this idiotic concept creeped its way into what some deem entertainment? Let me explain. The Burpsnart is a three part act during which a middle-aged loser proceeds to burp, sneeze, and fart in very rapid succession. It was invented by Kevi...
Continue reading...

REVIEW: With a Psychic, an Actor, a Dominatrix, and Three Gay Male Flight Attendants, I'm Not So Excited for Peninsula Flight 2549

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, July 6, 2013 In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

I'm So Excited

Directed By: Pedro Almodóvar

Starring: Javier Cámara, Cecilia Roth, Lola Dueñas, Raúl Arévalo, Carlos Areces, Antonio de la Torre, Hugo Silva, and Guillermo Toledo

After Pedro Almodóvar's The Skin I Live In a couple of years ago, I swore I'd never watch one of his movies again. It was too much for me. It was just too much. Two years later, here I am again with I'm So Excited, Almodóvar's latest comedy. Unfortunately for me, his twisted, often perverted sense of humor is...
Continue reading...

REVIEW: In The Way, Way Back, Pop-N-Lock Duncan Leaves the Riptide Beach House and Hits the Slides at Water Wizz

Posted by James Brown on Friday, July 5, 2013 In : 0.00% Water

The Way, Way Back

Directed By: Nat Faxon and Jim Rash

Starring: Steve Carell, Toni Collette, Allison Janney, AnnaSophia Bobb, Sam Rockwell, Maya Rudolph, Rob Corddry, Amanda Peet, and Liam James

2013 marks the summer of coming-of-age comedies at the indie box office. The proof is in the pudding. This past June, Joe, Patrick, and Biaggio jammed on some logs in the woods in The Kings of Summer. This month, Duncan is breaking it down on a cardboard dance floor at Water Wizz in The Way, Way Back....
Continue reading...

REVIEW: Despicable Me 2 – Gru, Kevin, Stuart And The Other Minions Work With The AVL To Bring Down A Mystery Villain In This Fun Sequel

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Wednesday, July 3, 2013 In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Despicable Me 2
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Pierre Coffin and Chris Renaud

Starring: Steve Carell, Kristen Wiig, Miranda Cosgrove, Benjamin Bratt, Russell Brand, Steve Coogan, and Ken Jeong

As the only mom on the STMR staff, I often get saddled with the animated fare (i.e. Brave, Wreck-It Ralph, The Croods, and Monsters University). You name the animated flick, and I have seen it. Although I am slightly bitter about being dumped into the mommy movie review bucket, I certainly bring a differe...

REVIEW: With Spirit Walker Kemosabe and Comanche Spirit Warrior Tonto, The Lone Ranger May Not Be the Wrong Brother of Pirates After All

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, July 3, 2013 In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Lone Ranger

Directed By: Gore Verbinski

Starring: Johnny Depp, Armie Hammer, Tom Wilkinson, William Fichtner, Barry Pepper, Ruth Wilson, James Badge Dale, and Helena Bonham Carter

Ten years ago this coming Tuesday, the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise was born. Director Gore Verbinski and star Johnny Depp proved a winning combination and put swashbuckling action back in style at that time. Now some ten years later, Verbinski and Depp are back together to see if they can recreate the fun ...
Continue reading...

REVIEW: In Unfinished Song, Rusty Old Banger Arthur Shows His True Colors When His Wife Marion Says Let's Talk About Sex

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 29, 2013 In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Unfinished Song (Song for Marion)

Directed By: Paul Andrew Williams

Starring: Terence Stamp, Gemma Arterton, Christopher Eccleston, and Vanessa Redgrave

Is it just me or do elder British actors have a lock on movies about old people? In the last year or so, we've had The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, Quartet, and now Unfinished Song. With the exception of Amour, there haven't been too many non-British films about the elderly hitting theaters as of late. I will say that each of these British fli...
Continue reading...

« Newer posts

Older posts »