Current Reviews - Sobriety Test Movie Reviews

REVIEW: London Has Fallen Falls Short Of Olympus

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, March 6, 2016 In : 0.09% Cocktails

London Has Fallen
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Babak Nafaji

Starring: Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman, Alon Moni Aboutboul, Angela Bassett, Robert Forster, Melissa Leo, and Radha Mitchell

Olympus Has Fallen debuted in 2013 and was a box office hit. Audiences of various ages loved the premise and gravitated towards the movie. It delivered action, great special effects, and a compelling protagonist. Given its success, of course, filmmakers decided to give us a sequel. Unfortunatel...

REVIEW: With Night Howlers, Pawpsicles & Godfather Mr. Big, Dumb Bunny Cop Jude the Dude & Sly Fox Nick Make Zootopia Better for Savage Predators & Prey Alike

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 5, 2016 In : 0.00% Water

Zootopia

Directed By: Byron Howard and Rich Moore

Starring: Ginnifer Goodwin, Jason Bateman, Idris Elba, J.K. Simmons, Tommy Chong, Octavia Spencer, Jenny Slate, and Shakira

"Everyone comes to Zootopia, thinking they could be anything they want. But you can't. You can only be what you are. Sly fox. Dumb bunny. And that is not wet cement."

-Nick Wilde (Jason Bateman)

This past Thursday night, fourteen million Americans had the distinct displeasure of watching the umpteenth Republican president...

REVIEW: Up Back Forward Down! With Bo Derek, Milk, & Broken Glasses in Blake's Biscuits, Eddie the Eagle Has Landed In His Moment

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 27, 2016 In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Eddie the Eagle

Directed By: Dexter Fletcher

Starring: Taron Egerton, Hugh Jackman, Jim Broadbent, and Christopher Walken

"The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not winning but taking part; the essential thing in life is not conquering but fighting well."

-Pierre de Coubertin

There's nothing better than a surprise treat at the box office. I typically don't have too many of these, especially this time of year. In the last three weeks, however, I've had three rather enjoyable cinematic ...

REVIEW: The Witch Crackles With Old School Horror & One Dysfunctional Puritan Family

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 27, 2016 In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

The Witch

Directed By: Robert Eggers

Starring: Anya Taylor-Joy, Ralph Ineson, Kate Dickie, Harvey Scrimshaw, Ellie Grainger, and Lucas Dawson

Having the benefit of having reviewed hundreds and hundreds of films, I generally can size up a film in its first fifteen minutes or so. My ego lets me think I can do it in only five minutes sometimes. In the case of Robert Eggers's The Witch, I thought I had it pegged after the first few moments. I thought it was going to be a dry, fright-less affair. ...

REVIEW: With Four Gold Medals, Jesse Owens Runs His Race Regardless of Jim Crow or the Third Reich

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 21, 2016 In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Race

Directed By: Stephen Hopkins

Starring: Stephan James, Jason Sudeikis, Jeremy Irons, Carice van Houten, Shanice Banton, and William Hurt

Simplicity can be elegance, especially when it comes to movie titles. One-syllable titles are especially potent because they say everything and hardly anything at all. Heat. Ray. Up. These titles are short and sweet but convey so much. There's no better example this weekend than the Jesse Owens biopic Race. In the case of the period biographical pict...

REVIEW: Pride And Prejudice And Zombies – A Surprisingly Fun Mix Of Jane Austen and Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Monday, February 15, 2016 In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Burr Steers

Starring: Lily James, Sam Riley, Charles Dance, Lena Headey, and Suki Waterhouse

A week ago, I was forced to review Fifty Shades of Black. Right on the heels of viewing that debacle, I was assigned to review Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I assumed that I was being punished by the movie gods for some unknown sin. Perhaps I was too lenient on Magic Mike XXL? Or maybe this was penance because I haven’t seen Bridge of S...

REVIEW: Wham! Deadpool & His X-Men Make It Big With Their Bloody, Hilarious Answer to Francis's What's My Name

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 13, 2016 In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Deadpool

Directed By: Tim Miller

Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Morena Baccarin, Ed Skrein, T. J. Miller, Gina Carano, Brianna Hildebrand, and Stefan Kapicic

2016 is the year of the comic book movie. The release schedule is all the proof you need. Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice. Captain America: Civil War. X-Men: Apocalypse. Suicide Squad. Gambit. Doctor Strange. This year is unlike any other in terms of the sheer number of Marvel and DC properties arriving on the big screen, and it may ...

REVIEW: A Sick Woman, Possibly Dying, The Lady in the Van Mary Shepherd Has the Last Laugh

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 7, 2016 In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

The Lady in the Van

Directed By: Nicholas Hytner

Starring: Maggie Smith, Alex Jennings, Jim Broadbent, Frances de la Tour, and Roger Allam

In her golden years, Maggie Smith has really cornered the market for playing tough old dames on the big screen. The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, Quartet, and My Old Lady have all proven this in the last several years. With each return to the big screen, Smith doesn't just play on her persona as the actress with perhaps the most sarcastic tongue. She tackles...

REVIEW: An Upside Down Tree, Jane Got a Gun Doesn't Exactly Ride Up the Ridge to Victory

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 7, 2016 In : 0.09% Cocktails

Jane Got a Gun

Directed By: Gavin O'Connor

Starring: Natalie Portman, Joel Edgerton, Noah Emmerich, Rodrigo Santoro, Boyd Holbrook, and Ewan McGregor

Making a movie trailer has to be a challenging art. The men and women that make these trailers have to make a film worth moviegoers' time and money with just a brief two-minute snippet of the movie at hand. They must convey the essence of the film without revealing too many key plot details. They must make a film seem terrific even when it isn't...

REVIEW: In The Finest Hours, Coast Guard Man Bernie Webber Does Everything to Get Over the Bar to the SS Pendleton for April 16th with Miriam

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, February 3, 2016 In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Finest Hours

Directed By: Craig Gillespie

Starring: Chris Pine, Casey Affleck, Ben Foster, Holliday Grainger, John Ortiz, and Eric Bana

The aftermath of Jonas is more of his old man winter plaguing us with bone-chilling cold this past week. As I hit the movies, the weather served as a frosty reminder that I had been absent from the box office for a little while. Fittingly, the first movie on deck for me was about being caught in the throes of a deadly winter storm. Yes, I'm talking about ...

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REVIEW: London Has Fallen Falls Short Of Olympus

REVIEW: With Night Howlers, Pawpsicles & Godfather Mr. Big, Dumb Bunny Cop Jude the Dude & Sly Fox Nick Make Zootopia Better for Savage Predators & Prey Alike

REVIEW: Up Back Forward Down! With Bo Derek, Milk, & Broken Glasses in Blake's Biscuits, Eddie the Eagle Has Landed In His Moment

REVIEW: The Witch Crackles With Old School Horror & One Dysfunctional Puritan Family

REVIEW: With Four Gold Medals, Jesse Owens Runs His Race Regardless of Jim Crow or the Third Reich

REVIEW: Pride And Prejudice And Zombies – A Surprisingly Fun Mix Of Jane Austen and Buffy The Vampire Slayer

REVIEW: Wham! Deadpool & His X-Men Make It Big With Their Bloody, Hilarious Answer to Francis's What's My Name

REVIEW: A Sick Woman, Possibly Dying, The Lady in the Van Mary Shepherd Has the Last Laugh

REVIEW: An Upside Down Tree, Jane Got a Gun Doesn't Exactly Ride Up the Ridge to Victory

REVIEW: In The Finest Hours, Coast Guard Man Bernie Webber Does Everything to Get Over the Bar to the SS Pendleton for April 16th with Miriam

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