REVIEW: Fifty Shades of Black – An Hour and Thirty-Five Minutes of a Shirtless Marlon Wayans

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Wednesday, February 3, 2016 In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Fifty Shades of Black





Directed by:  Michael Tiddes

Starring: Marlon Wayans, Kali Hawk, Jane Seymour, Mike Epps, Affion Crockett, and Jenny Zigrino

As I was leaving a showing of Fifty Shades of Black, an irate woman remarked, “Is it too late to get my money back?”  That question succinctly sums up my thoughts on Fifty Shades and I could literally end my review with that question.  But alas, Sobriety Test Movie Reviews must analyze Marlon Wayans’ spoof of Fifty Shades of Grey.  Fifty Shades ...

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REVIEW: Beasts Of No Nation: A Chilling African Hunger Games

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, January 23, 2016 In : 0.00% Water 
Beasts of No Nation
SoberFilmChick




Directed by:  Cary Joji Fukunaga

Starring: Idris Elba, Abraham Attah, and Emmanuel Nii Adom Quaye

Netflix continues to innovate and produce quality entertainment in the streaming media realm with its release of Beasts of No Nation.  Netflix is currently streaming a gripping African war drama at a time when #Oscarssowhite is trending and wreaking havoc on the Academy Awards.  Many critics lament that Idris Elba was overlooked in the Oscar’s best supporting acto...

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REVIEW: When Girls Just Wanna Have Fun & Apple Mojitos, Anomalisa Chooses A Belvedere Martini Straight Up With a Twist

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 16, 2016 In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Anomalisa





Directed By: Charlie Kaufman and Duke Johnson

Starring: David Thewlis, Jennifer Jason Leigh, and Tom Noonan

This awards season is shaping up to be pretty intriguing with regard to animated fare.  The two films going head to head are Inside Out and Anomalisa.  In one corner, you have an innocent but brilliant exploration of the inner workings of a child's mind and the competing emotions within it.  The fifteenth film from Pixar is no doubt a landmark achievement.  In the other corner, w...
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REVIEW: Given Gucci Toilets, Hydrangeas & Mrs. Black Hammer, Ride Along 2 Certainly Doesn't Boast Blentlemen Brothers in Law

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 16, 2016 In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Ride Along 2





Directed By: Tim Story

Starring: Ice Cube, Kevin Hart, Ken Jeong, Benjamin Bratt, Olivia Munn, Bruce McGill, and Tika Sumpter

I have no love lost for the original Ride Along, but it unfortunately made a decent chunk of change at the box office.  Given this, the greed machine that is Hollywood greenlit a totally unnecessary sequel.  That sequel arrives at the box office this weekend and is taking Kevin Hart and Ice Cube's less-than-interesting bromance to Miami.  It saddens me to say...
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REVIEW: A Tree with Strong Roots, The Revenant's Hugh Glass Learns That Revenge Is in God's Hands Not His

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 9, 2016 In : 0.00% Water 
The Revenant





Directed By: Alejandro G. Iñárritu

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hardy, Domhnall Gleeson, and Will Poulter

"As long as you can still grab a breath, you fight.  You breathe.  Keep breathing.  When there is a storm.  And you stand in front of a tree.  If you look at its branches, you swear it will fall.  But if you watch the trunk, you will see its stability."
-Hugh Glass's Wife (Grace Dove)

The reigning Oscar champ is back!  I may not have been rooting for Birdman throughout last ...
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REVIEW: With the Daddy-Daughter Dance, 4th Grade Bullies, & the Panda's Smooth Jazz, Step-King Brad Puts Up A Loving Fence When King Dusty Says Daddy's Home

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, January 3, 2016 In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Daddy's Home





Directed By: Sean Anders

Starring: Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg, Linda Cardellini, Hannibal Buress, Bobby Cannavale, Thomas Haden Church, and John Cena

I've hammered out a number of reviews this holiday season, but Daddy's Home has eluded me.  I'm not even going to bother with Point Break, but I can't ignore the comedy playing second fiddle to Star Wars: The Force Awakens at the box office, especially one reuniting The Other Guys co-stars Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg.  Having seen ...

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REVIEW: Flung Out of Space, Therese Gives Carol A Portfolio of Things to Worry Her Including Love & A Morality Clause

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, December 29, 2015 In : 0.00% Water 
Carol





Directed By: Todd Haynes

Starring: Cate Blanchett, Rooney Mara, Sarah Paulson, Kyle Chandler, and Jake Lacy

I've just about covered all the films in the mix this awards season, excluding The Revenant and 45 Years.  Throughout this year’s litany of films, I've mentioned that there was an uptick in the number of adaptations, and I still believe this holds true.  The Danish Girl, The Big Short, and Concussion have all continued this trend over the last couple of weeks.  Now, we have yet ano...

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REVIEW: With the Power of Soap Opera Character Danica & the Next Tom Jones, Joy Becomes Friends in Commerce With QVC Executive Neil Walker

Posted by James Brown on Monday, December 28, 2015 In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Joy





Directed By: David O. Russell

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Robert De Niro, Édgar Ramírez, Diane Ladd, Virginia Madsen, Isabella Rossellini, Dascha Polanco, and Bradley Cooper

Recurring actor-director collaborations happen fairly often.  We call the actors in these collaborations the directors' muses.  Alfred Hitchcock had James Stewart (and his blonds).  Martin Scorsese had Robert De Niro (and now Leonardo DiCaprio).  Steven Spielberg has Tom Hanks.  Quentin Tarantino has Samuel L. Jackson...

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REVIEW: In Concussion, Forensic Pathologist Dr. Bennet Omalu Chooses to Fake the NFL, Whose Players Suffer From CTE, With Science

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, December 27, 2015 In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Concussion





Directed By: Peter Landesman

Starring: Will Smith, Alec Baldwin, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Arliss Howard, Paul Reiser, Luke Wilson, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, David Morse, and Albert Brooks

"The NFL owns a day of the week.  The same day the Church used to own.  Now it's theirs."
-Dr. Cyril Wecht (Albert Brooks)

It's safe to say that football has supplanted baseball as America's favorite pastime.  Garnering 114.5 million viewers earlier this year, Super Bowl XLIX was an unparalleled phenomenon lik...

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REVIEW: On the Long Road to Red Rock with the Hangman & Daisy Domergue, Old Mary Todd's Calling The Hateful Eight to Minnie's Haberdashery For One Bloody Western

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, December 26, 2015 In : 0.00% Water 
The Hateful Eight





Directed By: Quentin Tarantino

Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Kurt Russell, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Walton Goggins, Demián Bichir, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Bruce Dern, and Channing Tatum

"You only need to hang mean bastards, but mean bastards you need to hang."
-The Hangman John Ruth (Kurt Russell)

Spend Christmas with someone you hate.  Now, that's a catchy tagline.  It also rings true right now for some moviegoers spending their Christmas holiday with loathsome family members the...

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