Starring: Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, Richard Ayoade, and Rosemarie DeWitt
This final weekend in July feels like déjà vu. Around this time last year, I was talking about the film Cowboys & Aliens and how it failed to live up to its hype. Despite all its talent in front of and behind the camera, the film couldn't deal with the complicated task of being a sci-fi western. Aliens don't fit too well in a world of cops and robbers. As it turns out, I'm going to be saying something similar about this week's comedy The Watch. Aliens apparently don't fit too well in the world of raunchy R-rated comedies either. With Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, and Jonah Hill, The Watch has the right talent. This sci-fi comedy just doesn't have the right act.
A dedicated Costco manager and a well-known member of his neighborhood in Glenview, Evan (Stiller) has a problem. As opposed to tending to his wife Abby's (Rosemarie DeWitt) needs, he forms countless clubs and organizations within the community. When his friend and Costco security guard Antonio Guzman (Joe Nunez) is murdered overnight in the store, Evan takes it upon himself to help right this wrong and find the person who killed his friend. He decides to form a neighborhood watch.
Evan hosts a public meeting at his home to recruit members for the neighborhood watch. It turns out to be immensely popular as a whopping total of three people bother to attend. Among the attendees, Evan is joined by Bob (Vaughn), a nearby neighbor who is having plenty of issues these days with his teen daughter Chelsea (Erin Moriarty). Evan also has Franklin (Hill), a loose cannon that was rejected by the local police and sees the neighborhood watch as an opportunity to beat the crap out of some bad guys. Finally, there's Jamarcus (Richard Ayoade), a nerdy guy who just wants to have sex with a hot Asian chick while on duty with the watch.
With his new members, Evan officially launches the neighborhood watch and begins pursuing Antonio Guzman's murderer. Along the way, the group finds something they would have never expected, an alien life form that's infiltrated the human race. All clues in Guzman's killing lead to this unknown alien species. Aware of this, the members of the watch intend to take this matter into their own hands to learn more about how these extraterrestrials have come to earth and what their intentions are.
The Watch is a movie that really fails to realize its potential. This sci-fi comedy doesn't deliver the laughs it should. Given the comedic talents of its cast, it's pretty unfortunate. We haven't had a pairing of Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn since the glory days of the Frat Pack in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story. With such a great comedy as the only reference to what Stiller and Vaughn can do on the big screen together, I expected big things. The same can be said for Jonah Hill. Fresh from strong performances in 21 Jump Street and Moneyball, this guy should have me dying of laughter. None of this comes to fruition, however. What these actors should have done with The Watch is sadly a foregone opportunity.
In the few enjoyable moments of the film, The Watchdelicately balances science fiction with comedy and gives us something more than just a raunchy comedy with aliens. Throughout the rest of the film, the movie just sucks. These successful comedians come together and make a movie full of sex jokes. The problem is that very few of these jokes are actually funny. When reflecting on The Watch, I remember far more about sex than I do about aliens or anything else for that matter. I remember more about Magnum condoms and wild orgies at a neighbor's home than I do about the aliens themselves. This speaks volumes about the film. It’s just too sexual.
The Watch is a failed experiment. Stiller, Vaughn, and Hill come together to bring us a crappy comedy with a stellar cast. The film tries to do too much. Trying to make a raunchy, hilarious sci-fi comedy is a daunting task. Ultimately, the film ends up embodying the jumbled mess that their characters on the film call a jacket. The neighborhood watch members wear jackets with a tiger with wings on the back and an eye patch on the side. The logos on the jackets don’t instill any sense of vigilance or commitment to the neighborhood. They pretty much suck. Like these jackets, The Watchis anything but coherent and far from awesome. The film gets a 0.09% rating. Have some whiskey sours during this one.
