Showing Tag: " action" (Show all posts)

REVIEW: With Authentic Memories of Trees on 6/10/21, LAPD Officer K Witnesses His Own Personal Miracle Through a Wallace Emanator & A Wooden Toy Horse

Posted by James Brown on Monday, October 9, 2017, In : 0.00% Water

Blade Runner 2049

Directed By: Denis Villeneuve

Starring: Ryan Gosling, Harrison Ford, Ana de Armas, Sylvia Hoeks, Robin Wright, Mackenzie Davis, Carla Juri, Lennie James, Dave Bautista, and Jared Leto

Denis Villeneuve has been on a hot streak in recent years. He started with the visceral abduction thriller Prisoners. Then, he delivered a beast of a movie in the epic crime drama Sicario. After that, he crafted last year’s sci-fi and awards darling Arrival. As he’s been putting out one hi...

REVIEW: Molded Out of Clay, Amazon Godkiller Wonder Woman Is the Heroine We Deserve and Believe

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, June 4, 2017, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Wonder Woman

Directed By: Patty Jenkins

Starring: Gal Gadot, Chris Pine, Robin Wright, Danny Huston, David Thewlis, Connie Nielsen, and Elena Anaya

In the game of superhero adaptations, Marvel is running circles around DC Comics. With a decade of hits and an army of live action heroes, the Marvel Cinematic Universe is well on its way up the mountaintop to its Infinity War next year. Meanwhile, the missteps with Man of Steel and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice demonstrate that the DC Extended...

REVIEW: From A Celestial Ego to David Hasselhoff, Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2 Is All About the Unspoken Things

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, May 7, 2017, In : 0.00% Water

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Directed By: James Gunn

Starring: Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper, Michael Rooker, Karen Gillan, Pom Klementieff, Elizabeth Debicki, Chris Sullivan, Sean Gunn, Sylvester Stallone, and Kurt Russell

The summer blockbuster season is now upon us. With it, we have Marvel's first big time up at bat in 2017. We are on the road to Infinity War in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and the board is almost set. The final pieces are moving, ...

REVIEW: From Little Nobody to Blanta (Black Santa), The Fate of the Furious Requires a Cipher for Dom's Family

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 16, 2017, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Fate of the Furious

Directed By: F. Gary Gray

Starring: Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham, Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Chris Bridges, Nathalie Emmanuel, Kurt Russell, Scott Eastwood, Charlize Theron, and Helen Mirren

I realize that I've been reducing the frequency of my reviews as of late. I've been absent since Logan and am just now coming out of the shadows. There's a method to my madness, however, and it's not just reviewing big event movies or awards darlings. I could m...

REVIEW: Making His Way to Eden by Way of North Dakota, Daddy Logan Becomes the Wolverine One Last Time & Finds His Sunseeker Boat

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, March 9, 2017, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Logan

Directed By: James Mangold

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Richard E. Grant, Boyd Holbrook, Stephen Merchant, and Dafne Keen

Hugh Jackman has had a long run as Wolverine. The only actor with a comparable run of movies as a comics character that's just as fabled on the big screen is Robert Downey, Jr. in his portrayals of Iron Man in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Starting with Bryan Singer's X-Men some seventeen years ago, Jackman has appeared on camera as the grumpy ageless mut...

REVIEW: Given Her Necklace of Kyber Crystals, Rogue One's Hopeful Stardust Jyn Erso Is One With the Force and the Force Is With Her

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, December 17, 2016, In : 0.00% Water

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Directed By: Gareth Edwards

Starring: Felicity Jones, Diego Luna, Ben Mendelsohn, Donnie Yen, Mads Mikkelsen, Alan Tudyk, Riz Ahmed, Jiang Wen, and Forest Whitaker

"I am one with the force, and the force is with me."

-Chirrut Îmwe (Donnie Yen)

There is no doubt that Disney has had a mighty year with hit after hit after hit. From The Jungle Book and Zootopia to Captain America: Civil War and Doctor Strange, the studio has had a banner year. With rumors swirling about...

REVIEW: When the Bill Comes Due from the Dark Dimension's Dormammu, Doctor Strange's Technique to Save the Sanctums Goes Beyond Time & Death

Posted by James Brown on Friday, November 4, 2016, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Doctor Strange

Directed By: Scott Derrickson

Starring: Benedict Cumberbatch, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Rachel McAdams, Benedict Wong, Michael Stuhlbarg, Benjamin Bratt, Scott Adkins, Mads Mikkelsen, and Tilda Swinton

The world is truly topsy-turvy these days. Donald Trump has more than an outside shot at stealing the presidency next Tuesday from Hillary Clinton. The Chicago Cubs have broken a 108 years long losing streak by clinching the World Series earlier this week. To top things off, Doctor Stran...

REVIEW: What The Magnificent Seven Loses in the Fire at Rose Creek, It Finds in the Ashes

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 25, 2016, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Magnificent Seven

Directed By: Antoine Fuqua

Starring: Denzel Washington, Chris Pratt, Ethan Hawke, Vincent D'Onofrio, Byung-hun Lee, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, Martin Sensmeier, Haley Bennett, and Peter Sarsgaard

Remakes are the new sequels if the 2016 slate of films proves anything, and there have certainly been both hits and misses. We went back to Peace Rock for the bare necessities of life in The Jungle Book. We asked a new generation who you gonna call in the female-headlined Ghostbusters....

REVIEW: Hell or High Water, Comanche Brothers Toby & Tanner Howard Set Their Sights on Texas Midlands Bank

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, August 28, 2016, In : 0.00% Water

Hell or High Water

Directed By: David Mackenzie

Starring: Jeff Bridges, Chris Pine, Ben Foster, Gil Birmingham, and Katy Mixon

August may be a poor time to catch high quality big budget blockbusters. Jason Bourne and Suicide Squad are most certainly potent examples of this. Still, it's an excellent time to catch great independent or low budget films. After all, the month of August is really the preamble to awards season and the glut of prestige films on the way in the next several months. I'...

REVIEW: Mistakenly Focused on the Witch's Heart, the Suicide Squad Is In Need of a Good Pep Talk

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 6, 2016, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Suicide Squad

Directed By: David Ayer

Starring: Will Smith, Jared Leto, Margot Robbie, Joel Kinnaman, Viola Davis, Jai Courtney, Jay Hernandez, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Ike Barinholtz, Scott Eastwood, and Cara Delevingne

The DC Extended Universe (DCEU) is really having a hard time getting off the ground. I recently checked out the extended edition of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. While you all know my feelings on the abysmal theatrical version, I must admit that the extended edition is ...

REVIEW: From Treadstone to Ironhand & Deep Dream, Jason Bourne Explores His Connection to Richard Webb

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, July 31, 2016, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Jason Bourne

Directed By: Paul Greengrass

Starring: Matt Damon, Tommy Lee Jones, Alicia Vikander, Vincent Cassel, Julia Stiles, and Riz Ahmed

The 2016 summer blockbuster season has been littered with big budget disappointments, especially when it comes to reboots of dormant or long-running franchises. Bryan Singer went up to bat and struck out with X-Men: Apocalypse, his latest installment in Fox's aging mutant franchise. Roland Emmerich returned twenty years too late in Independence Day: Resu...

REVIEW: Star Trek Beyond – Public Enemy And The Beastie Boys Set The Stage

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, July 30, 2016, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Star Trek Beyond
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Justin Lin

Starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldana, John Cho, Simon Pegg, Karl Urban, Anton Yelchin, and Idris Elba

The summer box office season hit a bit of a slump. While animated fare has been plentiful and dominant, there have not been enough “must see” movies this summer. Independence Day: Resurgence, Tarzan, etc. were not enough to get me excited about this summer season. Audiences were waiting for an event movie, and Star Trek B...

REVIEW: With the Fourth Cataclysm At Hand, The Ghost Girls Become Ghostbusters

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, July 16, 2016, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Ghostbusters

Directed By: Paul Feig

Starring: Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon, Leslie Jones, Charles Dance, Michael Kenneth Williams, and Chris Hemsworth

There's been one tragedy after another as of late. It seems that there is a terrorist attack, a mass shooting, or police killings on an all too frequent basis these days. Orlando. Istanbul. Nice. Baton Rouge. Dallas. The Twin Cities. The list sadly goes on and on and on. All our prayers at STMR are certainly with those de...

REVIEW: To Purge & Purify in This Election Year, The New Founding Fathers Target Presidential Contender Senator Charlene Roan

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, July 2, 2016, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Purge: Election Year

Directed By: James DeMonaco

Starring: Frank Grillo, Elizabeth Mitchell, and Mykelti Williamson

The political conventions are coming this month, and there's a lot that could potentially happen over the next several weeks. With donors backing out left and right, the Republican convention is seemingly in turmoil. It's also not clear who is willing to hold their nose and risk political suicide as Trump's vice presidential pick. On the other side of the aisle, we have a de...

REVIEW: Down to the Earth's Magma Core, Independence Day: Resurgence Wants But Doesn't Quite Get One Happy Fourth of July

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, June 26, 2016, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Independence Day: Resurgence

Directed By: Roland Emmerich

Starring: Liam Hemsworth, Jeff Goldblum, Bill Pullman, Maika Monroe, Travis Tope, William Fichtner, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Judd Hirsch, Jessie Usher, Brent Spiner, Vivica A. Fox, and Angelababy

LinkedIn has a way of reminding us all of certain milestones in our lives. This week for me, it's been the fact that my pride and joy Sobriety Test Movie Reviews has been around for five long years serving up film critiques and drink selections. I...

REVIEW: Heroes of Their Own Story Obsessed With Sixteen Candles in Central Intelligence, The Golden Jet & The Alleged Black Badger Will See You On the Other Side

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, June 19, 2016, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Central Intelligence

Directed By: Rawson Marshall Thurber

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Amy Ryan, Aaron Paul, Danielle Nicolet, Jason Bateman, and Melissa McCarthy

I think it's crystal clear from years of reviews that I'm tired of the same old shtick from Kevin Hart and that I'm looking for something new from his rather high energy brand of comedy. Ride Along 2. Get Hard. Think Like A Man Too. Grudge Match. The list goes on and on and on when it comes to Kevin Hart movies that don't...

REVIEW: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows – Surf’s Up New York

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, June 12, 2016, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Dave Green

Starring: Megan Fox, Stephen Amell, Will Arnett, Brian Tee, Tyler Perry, Brittany Ishibashi, and Laura Linney

Michael Bay tackles yet another famous cartoon franchise. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows is better than many of the Transformers’ films, but that is not saying much. Director Dave Green has a lighter touch than Bay, so the film has fun moments. However, there is no need to rush t...

REVIEW: Whether X-Men or Four Horsemen, Apocalypse's Children Unleash Their Power To No Avail

Posted by James Brown on Friday, May 27, 2016, In : 0.09% Cocktails

X-Men: Apocalypse

Directed By: Bryan Singer

Starring: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Oscar Isaac, Nicholas Hoult, Rose Byrne, Tye Sheridan, Sophie Turner, Olivia Munn, Lucas Till, Evan Peters, Kodi Smit-McPhee, and Alexandra Shipp

I'm starting to think that the final installment in X-Men trilogies is cursed because the third time is apparently not the charm for Fox's prequel trilogy. Some ten years ago on Memorial Day weekend, I saw X-Men: The Last Stand. At the time, I t...

REVIEW: Despite Bird Protesters, Misty Mountains & Nixon's Angel of Death, The Nice Guys Will Be Happy

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, May 22, 2016, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

The Nice Guys

Directed By: Shane Black

Starring: Russell Crowe, Ryan Gosling, Angourie Rice, Matt Bomer, Margaret Qualley, Keith David, and Kim Basinger

There are some folks in the industry who may not be widely known despite a well-documented history of commercial success. Shane Black is most definitely one of these individuals. He's the man who played a pivotal role in shaping mainstream action flicks into what they are today with his screenplays for Lethal Weapon and Lethal Weapon 2. He's ...

REVIEW: Trying to Protect the Avengers With the Sokovia Accords & His Sunday Foundation, Tony Stank Causes the Empire to Fall in Captain America: Civil War

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 7, 2016, In : 0.00% Water

Captain America: Civil War

Directed By: Anthony Russo and Joe Russo

Starring: Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr., Scarlett Johansson, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Don Cheadle, Jeremy Renner, Chadwick Boseman, Paul Bettany, Elizabeth Olsen, Paul Rudd, Emily VanCamp, Tom Holland, Frank Grillo, William Hurt, and Daniel Brühl

"Our very strength incites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict... breeds catastrophe. Supervision is not something to be dismissed out-of-hand."

-Vision (Paul...

REVIEW: Stand or Fall Together Against Ravenna & Freya, The Love of Eric & Sara in The Huntsman: Winter's War Doesn't Conquer All

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 24, 2016, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Huntsman: Winter's War

Directed By: Cedric Nicolas-Troyan

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Charlize Theron, Emily Blunt, Nick Frost, Sam Claflin, Rob Brydon, and Jessica Chastain

I don't exactly frequent Rotten Tomatoes, but there seems to be no middle ground these days. Movies are either universally acclaimed or universally loathed. Hardly any movies are landing anywhere between 30% and 79% these days. Movies like The Jungle Book and Zootopia comfortably fall in the former category while Batma...

REVIEW: With the White Portuguese & Granny's Peach Tea, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice Flies Too Close to the Sun

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 26, 2016, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Directed By: Zack Snyder

Starring: Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Jesse Eisenberg, Diane Lane, Laurence Fishburne, Jeremy Irons, Holly Hunter, Scoot McNairy, and Gal Gadot

For me, there are no two more iconic and awe-inspiring superheroes than Batman and Superman. That's why I'm so heartbroken that their first time on the big screen together is being helmed by Zack Snyder. The man behind comic book adaptations Watchmen and Man of Steel has a less than ...

REVIEW: In 10 Cloverfield Lane, You Don't Build the Ark After the Flood Starts or If Paris et ' J'aime

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, March 13, 2016, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

10 Cloverfield Lane

Directed By: Dan Trachtenberg

Starring: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, John Goodman, and John Gallagher, Jr.

After the massive hit Star Wars: The Force Awakens, the next thing on the radar of J. J. Abrams' Bad Robot Productions was supposed to be Star Trek Beyond, or so we thought. As it turns out, Bad Robot got us with the quickness when it dropped the trailer for 10 Cloverfield Lane earlier this year. It literally came out of nowhere when it landed online. The prospect of a se...

REVIEW: London Has Fallen Falls Short Of Olympus

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, March 6, 2016, In : 0.09% Cocktails

London Has Fallen
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Babak Nafaji

Starring: Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman, Alon Moni Aboutboul, Angela Bassett, Robert Forster, Melissa Leo, and Radha Mitchell

Olympus Has Fallen debuted in 2013 and was a box office hit. Audiences of various ages loved the premise and gravitated towards the movie. It delivered action, great special effects, and a compelling protagonist. Given its success, of course, filmmakers decided to give us a sequel. Unfortunatel...

REVIEW: Pride And Prejudice And Zombies – A Surprisingly Fun Mix Of Jane Austen and Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Monday, February 15, 2016, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Burr Steers

Starring: Lily James, Sam Riley, Charles Dance, Lena Headey, and Suki Waterhouse

A week ago, I was forced to review Fifty Shades of Black. Right on the heels of viewing that debacle, I was assigned to review Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I assumed that I was being punished by the movie gods for some unknown sin. Perhaps I was too lenient on Magic Mike XXL? Or maybe this was penance because I haven’t seen Bridge of S...

REVIEW: Wham! Deadpool & His X-Men Make It Big With Their Bloody, Hilarious Answer to Francis's What's My Name

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 13, 2016, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Deadpool

Directed By: Tim Miller

Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Morena Baccarin, Ed Skrein, T. J. Miller, Gina Carano, Brianna Hildebrand, and Stefan Kapicic

2016 is the year of the comic book movie. The release schedule is all the proof you need. Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice. Captain America: Civil War. X-Men: Apocalypse. Suicide Squad. Gambit. Doctor Strange. This year is unlike any other in terms of the sheer number of Marvel and DC properties arriving on the big screen, and it may ...

REVIEW: An Upside Down Tree, Jane Got a Gun Doesn't Exactly Ride Up the Ridge to Victory

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 7, 2016, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Jane Got a Gun

Directed By: Gavin O'Connor

Starring: Natalie Portman, Joel Edgerton, Noah Emmerich, Rodrigo Santoro, Boyd Holbrook, and Ewan McGregor

Making a movie trailer has to be a challenging art. The men and women that make these trailers have to make a film worth moviegoers' time and money with just a brief two-minute snippet of the movie at hand. They must convey the essence of the film without revealing too many key plot details. They must make a film seem terrific even when it isn't...

REVIEW: Given Gucci Toilets, Hydrangeas & Mrs. Black Hammer, Ride Along 2 Certainly Doesn't Boast Blentlemen Brothers in Law

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 16, 2016, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Ride Along 2

Directed By: Tim Story

Starring: Ice Cube, Kevin Hart, Ken Jeong, Benjamin Bratt, Olivia Munn, Bruce McGill, and Tika Sumpter

I have no love lost for the original Ride Along, but it unfortunately made a decent chunk of change at the box office. Given this, the greed machine that is Hollywood greenlit a totally unnecessary sequel. That sequel arrives at the box office this weekend and is taking Kevin Hart and Ice Cube's less-than-interesting bromance to Miami. It saddens me to say...
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REVIEW: A Tree with Strong Roots, The Revenant's Hugh Glass Learns That Revenge Is in God's Hands Not His

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 9, 2016, In : 0.00% Water

The Revenant

Directed By: Alejandro G. Iñárritu

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hardy, Domhnall Gleeson, and Will Poulter

"As long as you can still grab a breath, you fight. You breathe. Keep breathing. When there is a storm. And you stand in front of a tree. If you look at its branches, you swear it will fall. But if you watch the trunk, you will see its stability."
-Hugh Glass's Wife (Grace Dove)

The reigning Oscar champ is back! I may not have been rooting for Birdman throughout last ...
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REVIEW: On the Long Road to Red Rock with the Hangman & Daisy Domergue, Old Mary Todd's Calling The Hateful Eight to Minnie's Haberdashery For One Bloody Western

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, December 26, 2015, In : 0.00% Water

The Hateful Eight

Directed By: Quentin Tarantino

Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Kurt Russell, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Walton Goggins, Demián Bichir, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Bruce Dern, and Channing Tatum

"You only need to hang mean bastards, but mean bastards you need to hang."

-The Hangman John Ruth (Kurt Russell)

Spend Christmas with someone you hate. Now, that's a catchy tagline. It also rings true right now for some moviegoers spending their Christmas holiday with loathsome family members the...

REVIEW: Hail Tyrant Macbeth, AKA Michael Fassbender in the Next Great Shakespeare Adaptation

Posted by James Brown on Monday, December 21, 2015, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Macbeth

Directed By: Justin Kurzel

Starring: Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, Paddy Considine, Sean Harris, Jack Reynor, Elizabeth Debicki, and David Thewlis

Here we are again with yet another Shakespearean adaptation at the box office. The fun thing about reviewing these films is that the narrative hardly ever factors into my review. It's all about the execution and the overarching creative vision driving each big screen take on the famed playwright’s theatrical works (if he wrote them)...

REVIEW: In the Heart of the Sea Doesn't Steal Our Attention Like That White Whale Steals the Whaling Ship Essex

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, December 19, 2015, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

In the Heart of the Sea

Directed By: Ron Howard

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Benjamin Walker, Cillian Murphy, Tom Holland, Ben Whishaw, Brendan Gleeson, and Michelle Fairley

Twas the night before Star Wars, when all through the house

Not a viewer was stirring, not even a mouse.

The light sabers were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St Luke soon would be there.

It's the quiet before the storm this weekend. Yes, the force awakens next weekend and will be calling all moviegoers to the box of...

REVIEW: Real or Not Real, The Mockingjay's Nightmares Come to a Turbulent Conclusion in the 76th Hunger Games

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, November 21, 2015, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2

Directed By: Francis Lawrence

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Woody Harrelson, Elizabeth Banks, Julianne Moore, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Jeffrey Wright, Sam Claflin, Jena Malone, Stanley Tucci, and Donald Sutherland

We're just two weeks out from having witnessed what may have been Daniel Craig's final outing as 007 in Spectre, and now we are witnessing Jennifer Lawrence's final outing as Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games: Mo...

REVIEW: For the Nine Eyes Data Ghost, Spectre Tries to Stop A Deal Between The Pale King & One Cuckoo Mickey Mouse for L'Americain

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, November 7, 2015, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Spectre

Directed By: Sam Mendes

Starring: Daniel Craig, Christoph Waltz, Léa Seydoux, Ben Whishaw, Naomie Harris, Dave Bautista, Andrew Scott, Monica Bellucci, and Ralph Fiennes

Is Daniel Craig out of bullets? Many have been considering this weekend's Spectre to be Craig's final outing as beloved British Secret Service agent James Bond. Yes, Daniel Craig has been around the block as 007 a few times. Yes, he had a tantrum saying he would rather kill himself than suit up again. However, he al...

REVIEW: To Defeat the Witch Queen for Ax & Cross, Last Witch Hunter Kaulder Must Remember Your Death With the Help of Dream Walker Chloe

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, October 25, 2015, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

The Last Witch Hunter

Directed By: Breck Eisner

Starring: Vin Diesel, Rose Leslie, Elijah Wood, and Michael Caine

Considering he began Universal's amazing streak this year with the $1.5 billion box office haul of Furious 7 and that he solidified his place in the Marvel Cinematic Universe as Groot in last year's Guardians of the Galaxy, Vin Diesel should be on top of the world right now. He should be taking a victory lap before getting back to the things that are helping his career to flourish. ...

REVIEW: In the Land of Wolves, Sicario Kate Macer Fights the Coming Medellin

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, October 3, 2015, In : 0.00% Water

Sicario

Directed By: Denis Villeneuve

Starring: Emily Blunt, Benicio del Toro, Josh Brolin, Victor Garber, and Jon Bernthal

There are lots of great movies out there, but there are few that I would characterize as beasts. There's a certain raw energy that marks these kinds of movies that's unmistakable. The Wolf of Wall Street had a beast-like ferocity. Whiplash raged. Mad Max: Fury Road roared into theaters earlier this summer. These are the kinds of great movies we don't get every day. Th...

REVIEW: In Everest, The Last Word Always Belongs to the Mountain, Which Makes Its Own Weather for Adventure Consultant Rob Hall

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, September 19, 2015, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Everest

Directed By: Baltasar Kormákur

Starring: Jason Clarke, Josh Brolin, Michael Kelly, John Hawkes, Robin Wright, Emily Watson, Keira Knightley, Sam Worthington, and Jake Gyllenhaal

Welcome back STMR readers! It's amazing how the box office kicks into high gear every year on the third weekend of September. It's like clockwork. The doldrums of late summer are now behind us, and the fall movie season is thankfully upon us. With it, we get a taste of more thought-provoking blockbusters as ...

REVIEW: For Nuclear Bombs & A Father's Watch, The Man From U.N.C.L.E. Solo & His Cowboy-Loving Partner Kuryakin Take On Vinciguerra's Diadema

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, August 16, 2015, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Man From U.N.C.L.E.

Directed By: Guy Ritchie

Starring: Henry Cavill, Armie Hammer, Alicia Vikander, Elizabeth Debicki, Jared Harris, and Hugh Grant

Spy movies are in full supply this year, and moviegoers have been anything but disappointed. Kingsman: Secret Service, Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation, and Spy have set a high bar for the spy flicks making their way to theaters in these later months, namely Spectre and this weekend's The Man From U.N.C.L.E. All that being said, the reboot t...

REVIEW: When Captain Nemo Takes His Baxter Foundation Fellows Through the Quantum Gate to Planet Zero, The Fantastic Four Fail to Emerge

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 8, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Fantastic Four

Directed By: Josh Trank

Starring: Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan, Kate Mara, Jamie Bell, Toby Kebbell, Reg E. Cathey, and Tim Blake Nelson

On paper, the Fantastic Four reboot has everything going for it. It has the up-and-coming director of the superhero mockumentary Chronicle. It has the young stars of films like Whiplash, Fruitvale Station, and The Spectacular Now. It has low expectations to beat relative to the original entries some ten years ago. With all this in mind, I ...

REVIEW: With Solomon Lane, the Bone Doctor & Ilsa Faust, Rogue Nation the Syndicate Gives IMF's Finest Gambler Ethan Hunt One More Impossible Mission

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 1, 2015, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation

Directed By: Christopher McQuarrie

Starring: Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, Rebecca Ferguson, Ving Rhames, Sean Harris, Alec Baldwin, and Simon McBurney

"I can neither confirm nor deny any details without the secretary's approval."

-Agent William Brandt (Jeremy Renner), Impossible Mission Force

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to get to the box office this weekend. The Impossible Mission Force (IMF) is back on the scene. Agent Ethan Hunt...

REVIEW: Baskin Robbins Always Finds Out How Ant-Man Goes Subatomic On the Big Screen

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, July 18, 2015, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Ant-Man

Directed By: Peyton Reed

Starring: Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, Corey Stoll, Bobby Cannavale, Michael Peña, Tip "T.I." Harris, Wood Harris, Judy Greer, David Dastmalchian, and Michael Douglas

The trailers for Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice and Suicide Squad may be all the rage right now as Warner Bros. seeks to lay the foundations of its DC Comics universe on the big screen. Still, Marvel Studios is the dominant player, even without some of its flagship heroes such as the X-Men a...

REVIEW: Theoretically, Pops & the Exiles of Time in Terminator Genisys Are Old, Not Obsolete

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, July 2, 2015, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Terminator Genisys

Directed By: Alan Taylor

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jason Clarke, Emilia Clarke, Jai Courtney, Lee Byung-hun, and J. K. Simmons

"Follow a straight line and don't look back.”
-Sarah Connor (Emilia Clarke)

I recently read an article on Entertainment Weekly's website about the decline of the American actor. The article espouses that, after generations of heavyweights like Brando, Nicholson, Streep, and Pacino, there's no one picking up the mantle. The problem is pretty a...
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REVIEW: With the Indominus Rex, Velociraptors That Can Take Orders & An Aging Tyrannosaurus Rex, Jurassic World Tries to Up the Wow Factor

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 13, 2015, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Jurassic World

Directed By: Colin Trevorrow

Starring: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Vincent D'Onofrio, Ty Simpkins, Nick Robinson, Omar Sy, B. D. Wong, and Irrfan Khan

Twenty two years ago this week, the perfect storm came together at the box office. Jurassic Park opened. As I reflect nostalgically upon this monumental moment in movie history, I realize that the stars had to align for Jurassic Park to be truly one of the greatest science fiction films of all time. The story had to be ther...
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REVIEW: Whether Penny Morgan or Amber Valentine, Spy Susan Cooper Finds Her Calling Chasing Rayna, De Luca, & Renaldo

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 6, 2015, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Spy

Directed By: Paul Feig

Starring: Melissa McCarthy, Jason Statham, Rose Byrne, Miranda Hart, Bobby Cannavale, Nargis Fakhri, Allison Janney, and Jude Law

Director Paul Feig seems to have a comedic muse, and her name is Melissa McCarthy. In 2011, she was a supporting but integral contributor to the genius comedy Bridesmaids. Alongside Sandra Bullock, McCarthy then headlined Feig's next feature in 2013, the buddy action comedy The Heat. Some two years later, Feig and McCarthy are reuniting on...
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REVIEW: San Andreas – A Disaster Movie For Conservatives

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, May 31, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

San Andreas
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Brad Peyton

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Carla Gugino, Alexandra Daddario, Ioan Gruffudd, Archie Panjabi, and Paul Giamatti

After last week’s disappointing Memorial Day box office, this weekend movie-goers are being treated to a summer movie staple: the disaster flick. Audiences love to see tornadoes, volcanoes, and uncontrollable natural disasters wreaking havoc. We are entertained by buildings falling apart, iconic landmarks being leveled and the ultima...
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REVIEW: O Negative High Octane Universal Donor Mad Max Rides on Fury Road With Furiosa for the Green Land With the War Boys Hot on Their Trail

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 16, 2015, In : 0.00% Water

Mad Max: Fury Road

Directed By: George Miller

Starring: Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron, Nicholas Hoult, Hugh Keays-Byrne, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Riley Keough, Zoë Kravitz, Abbey Lee, and Courtney Eaton

At the beginning of the year, I said that 2015 was the year of the reborn franchise. Just look to upcoming installments for the Jurassic Park, Terminator, and Star Wars series. It's undeniable. There's one franchise introducing itself to a new generation of moviegoers this weekend that has a k...
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REVIEW: Hot Pursuit – The Joke? Sofia Vergara Is Old & Reese Witherspoon Is Short

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, May 9, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Hot Pursuit
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Anne Fletcher

Starring: Reese Witherspoon, Sofia Vergara, Robert Zakinsky, and Richard T. Jones

Presumably in an effort to offer an alternative to Avengers: Age of Ultron, Warner Brothers released a female buddy comedy this week, Hot Pursuit. At first glance, the pairing of Academy Award winner Reese Witherspoon with television darling Sofia Vergara seems like a grand idea. Witherspoon, while known for her dramatic turns, has found success with comedies ...
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REVIEW: With Jarvis As Co-Pilot During Its Lullaby, The Monster Avengers Certainly Don't Watch Their Language in the Age of Ultron

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 2, 2015, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Avengers: Age of Ultron

Directed By: Joss Whedon

Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Don Cheadle, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Elizabeth Olsen, Paul Bettany, Cobie Smulders, Anthony Mackie, Hayley Atwell, Idris Elba, Stellan Skarsgård, James Spader, and Samuel L. Jackson

"When the Earth starts to settle, God throws a stone at it. And believe me. He's winding up."
-Ultron (James Spader)

It's time to initiate the Theta Protocol. It...
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REVIEW: For Ramsey, A Supercar & the God's Eye Chip, Double Alpha Roman Almost Leads Furious 7 to Unleash the Beast

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 4, 2015, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Furious 7

Directed By: James Wan

Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Chris Bridges, Kurt Russell, Djimon Hounsou, and Jason Statham

With seven movies over fifteen years, the Fast & Furious franchise has certainly had a lengthy run on the big screen. Still, it doesn't look like this series is riding into the sunset anytime soon. Unfortunately for all those who loved Dom's family as we know it, we lost one of its core members. ...
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REVIEW: Insurgent – Action-Packed, But Tris Is A Little Too Fast For Her Own Good

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, March 22, 2015, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Divergent Series: Insurgent
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Robert Schwentke

Starring: Shailene Woodley, Theo James, Octavia Spencer, Jai Courtney, Ray Stevenson, Zoë Kravitz, Miles Teller, Ansel Elgort, Maggie Q, Naomi Watts, Kate Winslet, and Ashley Judd

With the flood of young adult film adaptations in theaters, it has become increasingly difficult for popular book series to stand out. Last year’s Divergent, however, was a surprise success. While Divergent did not reach Hunger Games’ he...
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REVIEW: With the IRA on the Hunt in Belfast in '71, British Soldier Gary Hook Finds Himself in a Confused Situation & Has One Bloody, Brutal Night

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, March 22, 2015, In : 0.00% Water

'71

Directed By: Yann Demange

Starring: Jack O'Connell, Richard Dormer, Sean Harris, Sam Reid, Charlie Murphy, Paul Anderson, and Paul Popplewell

I must admit that I've been a bit of a pessimist when it comes to the cinematic landscape as of late. In the interest of full disclosure, there's nothing that's quite motivating me to make my way to my local theater. The next movie on my radar is Avengers: Age of Ultron, which will not arrive until May. While many would argue that this predisposes m...
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REVIEW: Into the Wind After Killing the Congo's Minister of Mining, The Gunman Jim Terrier Decides to Build a Half-Assed Treehouse

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 21, 2015, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

The Gunman

Directed By: Pierre Morel

Starring: Sean Penn, Idris Elba, Ray Winstone, Mark Rylance, Jasmine Trinca, Peter Franzén, and Javier Bardem

With director Pierre Morel of Taken fame at the helm, acting royalty Sean Penn in the lead role, and a host of acclaimed supporting cast members, The Gunman should have been far better than it turned out to be. On paper, it's cinematic gold. However, it's been abundantly clear in every trailer and TV spot that this film would hardly hit the spot. ...
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REVIEW: If We Run All Night With Jimmy the Gravedigger Conlon, We'll Cross This Line Together

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 14, 2015, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Run All Night

Directed By: Jaume Collet-Serra

Starring: Liam Neeson, Joel Kinnaman, Common, Ed Harris, Génesis Rodríguez, Vincent D'Onofrio, Boyd Holbrook, and Nick Nolte

"Wherever we're going, we'll cross this line together."
-Shawn Maguire (Ed Harris)

It's abundantly clear that Taken marked a turning point in Liam Neeson's career. As Bryan Mills, he became the action star we know and love today. Well, he may be getting ready to arrive at another turning point in his career. In a recent inte...
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REVIEW: No Longer Tetravaal's Scout 22, Black Sheep Chappie Becomes the Conscious RoboCop Copycat of 2015

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, March 8, 2015, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Chappie

Directed By: Neill Blomkamp

Starring: Sharlto Copley, Dev Patel, Watkin Tudor Jones, Yolandi Visser, Jose Pablo Cantillo, Sigourney Weaver, and Hugh Jackman

There's a fine line between a director utilizing recurring stylistic flourishes throughout his or her filmography and a director doing the same thing over and over again expecting the same success time and time again. Neill Blomkamp is flirting with this line. His first film District 9 focused on aliens living in the slums of a fut...
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REVIEW: Manners Maketh Man in The Secret Service While Kingsman & Gentleman Eggsy Finds His Valentine With Oxfords, Not Brogues

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 14, 2015, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Directed By: Matthew Vaughn

Starring: Colin Firth, Samuel L. Jackson, Mark Strong, Taron Egerton, and Michael Caine

"We had to destroy the myth because [the Austin Powers movies] f*cked us. I am a huge Mike Myers fan, so don't get me wrong, but he kind of f*cked us, made it impossible to do the gags."
-Daniel Craig, MI6

If the quote above proves anything, it's that spy movies have changed tremendously over the years. The days of Sean Connery facing off with Goldfinge...
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REVIEW: With Spooks & Witches But No Blue Spark, Seventh Son Poses the Wrong Question & Gets Wrong Answers

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 14, 2015, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Seventh Son

Directed By: Sergei Bodrov

Starring: Jeff Bridges, Ben Barnes, Alicia Vikander, Kit Harington, Olivia Williams, Antje Traue, Djimon Hounsou, and Julianne Moore

The first weekend in February was a disaster zone for big budget films at the box office. Just look to the failures of Jupiter Ascending and Seventh Son. As these two costly endeavors sank at the box office, SpongeBob SquarePants surprisingly rose to the challenge and is actually the one that finally vanquished American Snip...
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REVIEW: With Your Majesty Jupiter Ascending to Entitled Royalty, Aegis, Stinger & Splice Caine Wise Begin Hunting the Abrasax Siblings

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 7, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Jupiter Ascending

Directed By: Lana Wachowski and Andy Wachowski

Starring: Channing Tatum, Mila Kunis, Sean Bean, Eddie Redmayne, Douglas Booth, and Gugu Mbatha-Raw

I always look forward to films from Lana and Andy Wachowski. Whether they succeed or fail, they always put forth one hell of a production. All of their movies are intriguing, thought-provoking cinema consistently marked by ambition. No matter what, they go for it all in grand style each and every time they're up at bat. Cloud Atl...
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REVIEW: American Sniper – A Gripping Tale Of Sheepdogs, Sheep and Wolves

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, January 17, 2015, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

American Sniper
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Clint Eastwood

Starring: Bradley Cooper, Sienna Miller, Sammy Sheik, and Cory Hardrict

The recent shootings at Charlie Hebdo and the subsequent anti-terrorist operations have brought terrorism and the conflict in the Middle East to the forefront. A film about the deadliest sniper in U.S. history and his service in Iraq is either ill-timed or perfectly timed, depending on one’s perspective.

Chris Kyle (Bradley Cooper) was raised in Texas. His father ...
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REVIEW: Taken 3 – Take Me Away From This Tired Franchise

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, January 11, 2015, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Taken 3
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Luc Besson

Starring: Liam Neeson, Forest Whitaker, Famke Janssen, Maggie Grace, Dougray Scott, Sam Spruell, and Leland Orser

In 2008, Taken transformed Liam Neeson into a bona fide action star at age 55. Known for Schindler’s List and Gangs of New York, among other films, Neeson became a kickass protagonist who could draw people to the box office for an action thriller. Unfortunately, Taken 3 is a pathetic attempt at cashing in on the success of the first ...
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REVIEW: In The Hunger Games, Mockingjay Katniss Gets the Burning Districts to Come to the Tree Singing So That the Capitol Burns With Us

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, November 22, 2014, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay — Part 1

Directed By: Francis Lawrence

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Woody Harrelson, Elizabeth Banks, Julianne Moore, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Jeffrey Wright, Stanley Tucci, and Donald Sutherland

"Miss Everdeen, it is the things we love most that destroy us."
-President Snow (Donald Sutherland)

The consequences of Warner Bros. decision to split Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows into two theatrical installments still echo today as ot...
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REVIEW: Boogeyman John Wick Is A Wolf Lured Back to Life at the Continental by Hen

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, October 25, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

John Wick

Directed By: David Leitch

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Michael Nyqvist, Alfie Allen, Adrianne Palicki, Bridget Moynahan, Dean Winters, Willem Dafoe, John Leguizamo, and Ian McShane

Normally, I pay little attention to Rotten Tomatoes before I've drafted a review. I just saw the most bizarre thing though as I was pulling together a list of the cast members in John Wick. This weekend’s John Wick has a 93% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. My initial thought on this can be summed up in three word...
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REVIEW: Prince Vlad Dracula, Son of the Devil, Goes to the Untold Broken Tooth Mountain to Protect His People From the Turks

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, October 12, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Dracula Untold

Directed By: Gary Shore

Starring: Luke Evans, Sarah Gadon, Dominic Cooper, Art Parkinson, and Charles Dance

It's another weekend and yet another reminder that every other Hollywood studio wants to be Marvel. With blockbusters Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Guardians of the Galaxy perpetuating the success of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it's easy to see why everyone else is so envious. While Fox had an excellent outing with X-Men: Days of Future Past in May, the film i...
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REVIEW: To Be The Equalizer For Russians Teddy & Pushkin, Old Man & Gladys Knight Pip Robert McCall Gets On That Midnight Train to Georgia

Posted by James Brown on Friday, September 26, 2014, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Equalizer

Directed By: Antoine Fuqua

Starring: Denzel Washington, Marton Csokas, Chloë Grace Moretz, David Harbour, Bill Pullman, and Melissa Leo

Television and cinema are inextricably bound to one another. As such, there are numerous examples in which stories are brought to life across the two media. Some success on the big screen can foreshadow future success on the smaller one. Take the Marvel Cinematic Universe for instance. The success of The Avengers has created a home for its fol...
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REVIEW: The November Man Peter Devereaux & Alice Fournier Don’t Exactly Rock Arkady Fedorov's Presidential Campaign in Belgrade

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 29, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The November Man

Directed By: Roger Donaldson

Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Luke Bracey, Olga Kurylenko, Eliza Taylor, Caterina Scorsone, Bill Smitrovich, and Will Patton

As I begin typing my review of the recently released The November Man, I realize that there's a certain pointlessness to it all. The studio behind this spy movie green-lit a sequel before the original even arrived in theaters. Unless they have the next Guardians of the Galaxy on their hands, I wouldn't exactly deem this to be a w...
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REVIEW: Sin City: A Dame to Kill For – A Heavy Dose Of Scantily Clad Women And Highly Stylized Violence

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, August 24, 2014, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Frank Miller's Sin City: A Dame to Kill For
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller

Starring: Mickey Rourke, Jessica Alba, Josh Brolin, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Rosario Dawson, Bruce Willis, Eva Green, Powers Boothe, Dennis Haysbert, Jeremy Piven, Ray Liotta, Stacy Keach, and Jamie Chung

After seeing the misogynistic train wreck that was Machete Kills, I was not clamoring for another star-studded sequel from Robert Rodriguez. While the original Sin City was creative and slick...
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REVIEW: The Knife Before Christmas Doctor Death, Galgo & Conrad Snowbanks Can't Quite Rescue The Deletable Expendables 3

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 16, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Expendables 3

Directed By: Patrick Hughes

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Antonio Banderas, Jet Li, Wesley Snipes, Dolph Lundgren, Kelsey Grammer, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, Kellan Lutz, Ronda Rousey, Glen Powell, Victor Ortiz, Robert Davi, Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford, and Arnold Schwarzenegger

There comes a time when retirement is no longer a luxury but a duty, particularly when one's line of work demands a certain physicality. Professional wrestling, a young man's game, has so...
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REVIEW: Whether a Backstreet Boys Patrolman or Brothers in Blue, I Don't Want Let's Be Cops Either Way

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 15, 2014, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Let's Be Cops

Directed By: Luke Greenfield

Starring: Jake Johnson, Damon Wayans, Jr., Rob Riggle, Nina Dobrev, James D'Arcy, and Andy Garcia

Parleying success on the small screen into success on the big screen can be a daunting task. There's a big difference between holding viewers' attention for 30 or 60 minutes with commercial breaks and holding it for two hours straight. Sure, there are plenty of examples to the contrary including the likes of Jamie Foxx, Martin Lawrence, and Will Smith. St...
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REVIEW: When She Discovers Project Renaissance, the Foot Clan, & Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, April O'Neil Swaps Mutagen for Foam & Froth

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 8, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Buck Buck)

Directed By: Jonathan Liebesman

Starring: Megan Fox, Pete Ploszek, Alan Ritchson, Noel Fisher, Jeremy Howard, William Fichtner, Danny Woodburn, Will Arnett, Johnny Knoxville, Tony Shalhoub, and Whoopi Goldberg

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are a staple of my childhood. Phrases like "Turtle Power!" and "Cowabunga!" are etched in my memory for all time. That's why I cringed when I learned that Michael Bay was involved in the reboot of the film series. ...
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REVIEW: Hercules – A Twist To The Legend Of Hercules

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, July 27, 2014, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Hercules

SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Brett Ratner

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Ian McShane, John Hurt, Rufus Sewell, Reece Ritchie, Peter Mullan, and Joseph Fiennes

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has had an incredibly interesting acting career. After going too far astray from his action hero chops with films like The Tooth Fairy, Johnson rebooted his career with a new agent and has become one of the highest paid actors in Hollywood. Starring in the Fast and Furious franchises, the G.I. Joe series,...

REVIEW: Lucy – A Somewhat Confusing Tale About What Happens When A Woman Uses 100% Of Her Brain

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, July 27, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Lucy

SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Luc Besson

Starring: Scarlett Johansson, Morgan Freeman, Choi Min-sik, Amr Waked and Analeigh Tipton

As the credits flickered on the screen at the end of Lucy, the patrons in my theater sat stunned by the film’s abrupt end. They murmured in confusion trying to ascertain what had just happened. I share their confusion.

In the film, Lucy (Scarlett Johansson) is studying abroad in Taiwan. In the midst of her studies, she takes in the city’s nightlife. She meet...

REVIEW: During the Annual Purge, Carmelo's Call to Action Against the New Founding Fathers of America (NFFA) Doesn't Bring the Anarchy

Posted by James Brown on Friday, July 18, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Purge: Anarchy

Directed By: James DeMonaco

Starring: Frank Grillo, Carmen Ejogo, Zach Gilford, Kiele Sanchez, and Zoe Soul

In an era when the latest and greatest scary movies are almost always about something supernatural, it's nice to see some good old fashioned horror movies where people kill people. I'm tired of ghosts, demons, and possessed mirrors dominating the horror landscape. I prefer movies that tap into the darkness inside each and every one of us and leverage this to ratchet up...
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REVIEW: In Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Koba Lives by a Code Other Than Caesar's Ape Not Kill Ape — War

Posted by James Brown on Friday, July 11, 2014, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Directed By: Matt Reeves

Starring: Andy Serkis, Jason Clarke, Gary Oldman, Keri Russell, Toby Kebbell, Judy Greer, Kodi Smit-McPhee

"Ape not kill ape. Ape together strong."

This summer seems to have climaxed pretty early. I'd make the case that we peaked with Bryan Singer's X-Men: Days of Future Past a couple of months ago. I know that there are a few mindless moviegoers who will stand by Michael Bay's recently released Transformers: Age of Extinction, but most h...
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REVIEW: Giving Kronoles for No More Protein Bars, the Snowpiercer Train's Tail Bucks Balance & Preordained Position to Take Wilford's Sacred Engine

Posted by James Brown on Friday, July 4, 2014, In : 0.00% Water

Snowpiercer

Directed By: Bong Joon-ho

Starring: Chris Evans, Kang-ho Song, Go Ah-sung, Jamie Bell, Alison Pill, John Hurt, Tilda Swinton, Octavia Spencer, and Ed Harris

For a guy who supposedly would like to retire from acting in a few years, Chris Evans of Captain America fame seems to be a consistent presence at the box office. He reprised his role as the elder Avenger in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. He's got two other comedies on the horizon later in the year in A Many Splintered Th...
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REVIEW: Transformers: Age of Extinction – In This Seemingly Endless Film, KSI, Lockdown, Yaeger, and Optimus Mix It Up

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, June 28, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Transformers: Age of Extinction
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Michael Bay

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammer, John Goodman, Ken Watanabe, Nicola Peltz, and Peter Cullen

Harold Attinger: “We have a saying here on Earth: The enemy of my enemy is my friend.”
Lockdown: “I too have a saying: I don’t care”

Transformers, both the toys and the cartoon, mean something to those of us who grew up in the 1980’s. So I was delighted to hear that the movie franchise was being rebo...
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REVIEW: In Edge of Tomorrow, Major William Cage & Angel of Verdun Rita Vrataski Lead UDF's Operation Downfall Against Omega & Its Mimics #LiveDieRepeat

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 7, 2014, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Edge of Tomorrow

Directed By: Doug Liman

Starring: Tom Cruise, Emily Blunt, Bill Paxton, and Brendan Gleeson

"Battle’s the great redeemer. A fiery crucible in which the only true heroes are forged."
-Master Sergeant Farrell Bartolome (Bill Paxton)

The age of movie stardom may be long dead, but Tom Cruise's career on the big screen is quite far from it. After a career full of ups and downs in this risky business, the timeless actor still remains willing to take a gamble at the box office. Whil...
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REVIEW: In X-Men: Days of Future Past, Mystique's DNA Unlocks the Key for Charles Xavier to Bear Mutants' Pain Without Breaking & Dare to Hope Again

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 24, 2014, In : 0.00% Water

X-Men: Days of Future Past

Directed By: Bryan Singer

Starring: Hugh Jackman, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Halle Berry, Anna Paquin, Ellen Page, Nicholas Hoult, Peter Dinklage, Ian McKellen, and Patrick Stewart

"So many battles waged over the years... and yet, none like this. Are we destined to destroy each other, or can we change each other and unite? Is the future truly set?"
-Professor Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart)

This year has offered a glut of ambitious comic book...
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REVIEW: When Operation Monarch Goes Awry in Janjira, Godzilla Takes On the 2 MUTOs & Restores Balance in Magnificent Fashion

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 17, 2014, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Godzilla

Directed By: Gareth Edwards

Starring: Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Ken Watanabe, Elizabeth Olsen, Juliette Binoche, Sally Hawkins, David Strathairn, and Bryan Cranston

"The arrogance of man is thinking nature is in our control... and not the other way around. Let them fight."
-Ichiro Serizawa (Ken Watanabe)

It's sometimes amazing to watch how cinema has evolved with technology, and I'm not talking about elaborate, expensive special effects. What I'm talking about is how our technological prog...
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REVIEW: With Roosevelt's Secret Station & Oscorp's Special Projects Division, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Is No Happy Birthday for Max / Sparkles / Electro

Posted by James Brown on Friday, May 2, 2014, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Amazing Spider-Man 2

Directed By: Marc Webb

Starring: Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Jamie Foxx, Dane DeHaan, Colm Feore, Felicity Jones, Campbell Scott, Embeth Davidtz, Paul Giamatti, and Sally Field

The summer blockbuster season has arrived! With it, we can now say goodbye to horrendous flicks like Devil's Due, A Haunted House 2, and Brick Mansions while saying hello to the likes of Godzilla, Maleficent, and Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. As I noted in my review of Captain America: The Wi...
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REVIEW: Detroit Bombing Brick Mansions Like RoboCop's Delta City Won't Work for Sheriff Damian Collier, Deputy Lino Dupree, or Drug Lord Tremaine Alexander

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 26, 2014, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Brick Mansions

Directed By: Camille Delamarre

Starring: Paul Walker, David Belle, and RZA

RoboCop seems to be having a bit of a second life this year. There was the remake earlier this year with Joel Kinnaman, Michael Keaton, Gary Oldman, and Samuel L. Jackson. Now, the whole concept of Delta City, a revitalized utopia built on the ashes of the urban, underprivileged portion of the community, is being brought back to life. It's called Brick Mansions this time around. With the late Paul Walke...
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REVIEW: Despite Baseball Bats, Hammers, & Uco's Fiery Ambition, It's Rama's Time to Rage in The Raid 2: Berandal

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 5, 2014, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

The Raid: Berandal

Directed By: Gareth Evans

Starring: Iko Uwais, Arifin Putra, Oka Antara, Tio Pakusadewo, Alex Abbad, Julie Estelle, Ryuhei Matsuda, Kenichi Endo, and Kazuki Kitamura

Applause is a memorable thing in a movie theater. In a place where silence is golden, it's the rarest of signs of utter amazement and respect for what an audience has just witnessed on the big screen. I reflect on films like The Dark Knight, The Avengers, and Moonrise Kingdom and remember the applause that came ...
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REVIEW: In the Age of Miracles, A Troubled Running Man Captain America Faces the Ghost Story Winter Soldier To Stop Hydra’s Project Insight Helicarriers

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 5, 2014, In : 0.00% Water

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Directed By: Anthony Russo and Joe Russo

Starring: Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Cobie Smulders, Frank Grilli, Emily VanCamp, Hayley Atwell, Robert Redford, and Samuel L. Jackson

"On your left..."
-Steve Rogers/Captain America (Chris Evans)

Shared movie universes are the new thing in Hollywood. With the imminent The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Sony is laying the foundations for the Sinister Six and an unfathomable nine films surroun...
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REVIEW: Sabotage – Breacher Delivers Violence, But Not Much Else

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, March 30, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Sabotage
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: David Ayer

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sam Worthington, Olivia Williams, Terrence Howard, Joe Manganiello, Harold Perrineau, Martin Donovan, Max Martini, Josh Holloway, and Mireille Enos

Since his political career ended and his marital woes took center stage, Arnold Schwarzenegger has not been able to connect with American audiences. His most recent films, The Last Stand and Escape Plan were box office duds domestically, and his latest action thriller Sa...
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REVIEW: Despite the Wicked Tubul-cain, Noah & Fallen Angels Known as the Watchers Brace for Some Watery Climate Change from the Creator

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 29, 2014, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Noah

Directed By: Darren Aronofsky

Starring: Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Ray Winstone, Emma Watson, Logan Lerman, Douglas Booth, and Anthony Hopkins

In my reviews of Lars von Trier's Nymphomaniac films, I wrote at length about how more socially conservative moviegoers bashed the film without having seen it. In the case of Darren Aronofsky's Noah, the studio enabled this portion of the moviegoing public to take some shots at the movie long before it arrived in theaters. Holding test scree...
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REVIEW: Divergent – There Is A Certain Beauty In Dauntless Stiff Tris’s Resistance to the Principle of Faction Over Blood

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, March 22, 2014, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Divergent

SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Neil Burger

Starring: Shailene Woodley, Theo James, Ashley Judd, Jai Courtney, Ray Stevenson, Zoe Kravitz, Miles Teller, Tony Goldwyn, Maggie Q, and Kate Winslet

Another young adult book series has been given the big screen treatment. With the success of The Hunger Games, the Twilight series and Harry Potter, studios are constantly searching for the next big thing. Mortal Instruments: City of Bones and Beautiful Creatures are two recent unsuccessful adaptat...

REVIEW: From Mt. Khisko to the Secret De Leon, Tobey Marshall & Dino Brewster Have a Need for Speed to Settle Their Feud

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 15, 2014, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Need for Speed

Directed By: Scott Waugh

Starring: Aaron Paul, Dominic Cooper, Kid Cudi, Imogen Poots, Ramón Rodriguez, and Michael Keaton

Movies based on video games are a hard sell. Titles like Mortal Kombat, Doom, and Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time should all evoke some bad memories. We've all regretted going to go see one of these often cheesy, underdeveloped adaptations that don't do justice to the games we love. That being said, I had anything but high expectations for Scott Waugh'...
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REVIEW: With Stout Wooden Ships & A Tidal Wave of Heroes' Blood, Themistocles Unites a Free Greece Against the Rise of Artemisia's Empire & Can Sit at the Table

Posted by James Brown on Friday, March 7, 2014, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

300: Rise of an Empire

Directed By: Noam Murro

Starring: Sullivan Stapleton, Eva Green, Lena Headey, Hans Matheson, and Rodrigo Santoro

"It begins as a whisper... a promise... the lightest of breezes dances above the death cries of 300 men. That breeze became a wind. A wind that my brothers have sacrificed. A wind of freedom... a wind of justice... a wind of vengeance."
-Queen Gorgo (Lena Headey)

With the Oscars now in our rearview mirror, we can fully focus on what lies ahead this year. More ...
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REVIEW: Dark Vengeance – Literally Made For Television

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Tuesday, March 4, 2014, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Dark Vengeance
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Keoni Waxman

Starring: Steven Seagal, Warren Christie, Sarah Lind, Tzi Ma, Meghan Ory, and George Takei

As a child of the ‘80’s and ‘90’s, I have a certain affinity for cheesy martial arts/crime/sci-fi fare. I grew up on films starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Jean Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal. For heaven’s sake, I’ve seen Cyborg multiple times. Thus, I am not opposed to the resurgence of 80’s actors, who are provi...
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REVIEW: In Non-Stop, Air Marshal Bill's Magic Blue Ribbon Isn't a Bad Defense from Terrorists Who'll Kill a Passenger Every 20 Minutes for $150MM

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 1, 2014, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Non-Stop

Directed By: Jaume Collet-Serra

Starring: Liam Neeson, Julianne Moore, Nate Parker, Michelle Dockery, Linus Roache, Scoot McNairy, and Corey Stoll

"Someone on this flight is threatening to kill someone every 20 minutes, unless $150 million is transferred to this account number."
-Bill Marks (Liam Neeson)

Year after year, Liam Neeson continues to cash in on the success of his 2008 action thriller Taken. We've seen this guy — who was once considered a more dramatic actor — try to chann...
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REVIEW: For Those of Us About to Die of Boredom, We Don't Salute Pompeii or the Celt Horseman Milo

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 22, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Pompeii

Directed By: Paul W. S. Anderson

Starring: Kit Harington, Emily Browning, Carrie-Anne Moss, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Jessica Lucas, Jared Harris, and Kiefer Sutherland

Gladiator is one of my all-time favorite movies. The noble character Russell Crowe gives us as Maximus, the delicious sicko to which Joaquin Phoenix treats us with Commodus, and the rousing yet beautiful filmmaking from director Ridley Scott all make the film an unrivaled modern epic of the highest caliber. With this ki...
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REVIEW: With The Wolf & The Albino on His Hit List, Cancer-Stricken Ethan Has 3 Days to Kill With Zoey as a Father Who Clearly Doesn't Know Best

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 22, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

3 Days to Kill

Directed By: McG

Starring: Kevin Costner, Amber Heard, Hailee Steinfeld, Connie Nielsen, Richard Sammel, and Eriq Ebouaney

McG isn't exactly a director who gets me excited for a movie. Sure, he's had a decent movie or two in his time. A great example is 2012's This Means War. At the same time, he's had many more missteps with films like Charlie's Angels and Terminator Salvation. His problem is that he tends to make undercooked films flush with gaping plot holes and underwhelmi...
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REVIEW: In the Matter of OmniCorp Vs. the Dreyfuss Act, RoboCop Alex Murphy Wins With an Assist from The Novak Element

Posted by James Brown on Friday, February 14, 2014, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

RoboCop

Directed By: José Padilha

Starring: Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Samuel L. Jackson, Abbie Cornish, Jackie Earle Haley, Michael K. Williams, Jennifer Ehle, and Jay Baruchel

I'm very much looking forward to many of the blockbusters in 2014. It's not that Hollywood is breaking new ground, but they are revisiting many of the franchises that have brought us movie magic for generations. Who can turn down a showdown between Godzilla, the King of the Monsters, and Heisenberg, a...
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REVIEW: For the Shadow-Kissed Dhampir Rose Hathaway Bound to Royal Moroi Lissa Dragomir, Weird Doesn't Begin to Cover It in Vampire Academy

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 9, 2014, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Vampire Academy

Directed By: Mark Waters

Starring: Zoey Deutch, Danila Kozlovsky, Lucy Fry, Dominic Sherwood, Olga Kurylenko, Cameron Monaghan, Sami Gayle, Ashley Charles, Claire Foy, Sarah Hyland, Gabriel Byrne, and Joely Richardson

With the Harry Potter franchise wrapping up almost three years ago and The Hunger Games series concluding in the very near future, studios are on the hunt for the next big literary adaptation. 2013 boasted mostly mediocre additions to the niche genre including Beau...
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REVIEW: With Gargoyles Ascending & Demons Descending, I, Frankenstein Is All About Adam Finding His Soul & His Higher Purpose

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 25, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

I, Frankenstein

Directed By: Stuart Beattie

Starring: Aaron Eckhart, Bill Nighy, Yvonne Strahovski, Miranda Otto, Socratis Otto, Jai Courtney, and Kevin Grevioux

Harvey, Harvey, Harvey Dent. What has happened to Aaron Eckhart’s career since The Dark Knight? His most notable credits since his turn as Gotham's White Knight include The Rum Diary, Olympus Has Fallen, and Battle Los Angeles. That's not saying much at all. The same can be said for Miranda Otto, whom most may remember as Eowyn in...
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REVIEW: Jack Ryan Is a Napoleonic Shadow Recruit Who Meets Us Halfway in Waterloo

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 18, 2014, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit

Directed By: Kenneth Branagh

Starring: Chris Pine, Kevin Costner, Kenneth Branagh, and Keira Knightley

After his noble turn as Jonathan Kent in Man of Steel last year, Kevin Costner is trying to make a comeback this year. As of right now, he's got five movies slated for release in 2014. I think he's trying to fill the void of the all-American male movie star. The proof is in the pudding. Next month, Costner will portray a Secret Service agent in action thriller 3 Da...
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REVIEW: Whether Prince Alcides or Hercules Son of Zeus, This Legend Sucks

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, January 12, 2014, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

The Legend of Hercules

Directed By: Renny Harlin

Starring: Kellan Lutz, Gaia Weiss, Scott Adkins, Roxanne McKee, and Liam Garrigan

2014 is the comeback year for the sword-and-sandal picture. Just look at the lineup at the box office in the coming months. Russell Crowe will be building an ark to prep for some major floodwaters in Darren Aronofsky's Noah in a couple of months. Christian Bale will be asking Pharaoh to let his people go as Moses in Ridley Scott's Exodus in the fall. We've even g...
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REVIEW: Unlike the Movie, Marcus Luttrell, Frogman & Lone Survivor of Operation Red Wings, Is Saved by the Code of Honor Pashtunwali

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 11, 2014, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Lone Survivor

Directed By: Peter Berg

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Taylor Kitsch, Emile Hirsch, Ben Foster, and Eric Bana

"There’s a storm inside of us. I’ve heard many team guys speak of this. A burning. A river. A drive. An unrelenting desire to push yourself harder and further than anyone could think possible."
-SO1 Mark Luttrell (Mark Wahlberg)

I try to stay away from other critics' reviews before I see a movie. Every now and then, however, my eyes wander, and I find myself delving into ...
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REVIEW: In Dry Revenge Flick 47 Ronin, Some Master-Less Samurai & A Half-Breed Trained By Demons Face Lord Kira & His Witch Mizuki

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, December 25, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

47 Ronin

Directed By: Carl Erik Rinsch

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Rinko Kikuchi, Tadanobu Asano, and Hiroyuki Sanada

America hates Keanu Reeves! There's nothing profoundly surprising about this statement. While I'll certainly agree that he's not the world's greatest actor, I have to say that we've never given him credit for the gems he's given us. Just think of Speed, The Devil's Advocate, and of course The Matrix trilogy. As 47 Ronin hits theaters this Christmas week, I can't help but think th...
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REVIEW: The Desolation of Smaug Is All About the Burglar Hobbit Stealing the Arkenstone From the King Under the Mountain on Durin Day

Posted by James Brown on Friday, December 13, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Directed By: Peter Jackson

Starring: Ian McKellen, Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, Benedict Cumberbatch, Orlando Bloom, Evangeline Lilly, Lee Pace, Luke Evans, Ken Stott, and James Nesbitt

"The lord of silver fountains. The king of carven stone. The king beneath the mountain shall come into his own. And the bells shall ring in gladness at the mountain king's return. But all shall fail in sadness, and the lake will shine and burn."
-Bard the Bowman (Luke E...
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REVIEW: At a Homefront With Meadows & Horse Trails, Ex-Narc Phil Broker & His Daughter Maddy Get Into a Feud With Meth Cook Gator

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, November 28, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Homefront

Directed By: Gary Fleder

Starring: Jason Statham, James Franco, Winona Ryder, and Kate Bosworth

Jason Statham movies are always hit-or-miss for me. You certainly get good action sequences, but not much else. He's an action star, not an acclaimed actor. Recognizing this reality, I'm a little ambivalent about his latest thriller Homefront. He offers plenty of great fight sequences and amusing trash talking, but there's no depth to his character whatsoever. The sad thing is that Home...
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REVIEW: Tick Tock, Tick Tock... Remember Who the Real Enemy Is in Catching Fire Despite All the Moves and Countermoves in the 75th Hunger Games

Posted by James Brown on Friday, November 22, 2013, In : 0.00% Water

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Directed By: Francis Lawrence

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Woody Harrelson, Elizabeth Banks, Lenny Kravitz, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Jeffrey Wright, Stanley Tucci, and Donald Sutherland

May the odds be ever in Jennifer Lawrence's favor. Her rise to stardom has been meteoric to say the least. Just three short years ago in 2010, Hollywood's new golden girl was debuting in the indie Winter's Bone. In 2011, she had a couple of suppo...
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REVIEW: With the Imminent Convergence of the Nine Realms and the Aether Released by Jane, Thor and Malekith Rock the Dark World

Posted by James Brown on Friday, November 8, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Thor: The Dark World

Directed By: Alan Taylor

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Anthony Hopkins, Stellan Skarsgård, Idris Elba, Christopher Eccleston, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Kat Dennings, Ray Stevenson, Zachary Levi, Tadanobu Asano, Jaimie Alexander, and Rene Russo

"Some believe that before the universe, there was nothing. They're wrong. There was darkness...and it has survived."
-Odin (Anthony Hopkins)

Of all the movies I've seen, The Avengers is the only movie wit...
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REVIEW: Ender’s Game – Wiggin Battles With Salamanders And Dragons Before Entering The Formic Wars

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, November 3, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Ender’s Game
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Gavin Hood

Starring: Harrison Ford, Asa Butterfield, Viola Davis, Abigail Breslin, Hailee Steinfeld, and Ben Kingsley

“In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him." – A.E. Wiggin

Ender’s Game is the latest science fiction book series to be converted into a movie. Written by Orson Scott Card, the book was first published in the 1980s. For many years, filmmake...

REVIEW: Machete Kills – Machete Don’t Tweet, But He Slaughters Everything Else, Including Any Entertainment Value in This Grindhouse Movie Gone Wrong

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, October 13, 2013, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Machete Kills

Directed By: Robert Rodriguez

Starring: Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Sofia Vergara, Amber Heard, Lady Gaga, Antonio Banderas, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Walton Goggins, William Sadler, Demián Bichir, Mel Gibson, and Jessica Alba

Machete Kills is the sequel to the 2010 cult hit Machete. Unfortunately, Machete Kills fails to deliver the fast-paced, brutal fun of the original film. In fact, Machete Kills is so bad, that patrons actually walked out of my theater in the middle of the fi...
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REVIEW: In Normandy, France, The Blake Family Adds a Bad Chapter to Writer-Mobster Giovanni Manzoni's Memoirs

Posted by James Brown on Friday, September 13, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Family

Directed By: Luc Besson

Starring: Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Tommy Lee Jones, Dianna Agron, John D'Leo, and Domenick Lombardozzi

Several weeks ago, screen legend Robert De Niro turned 70 years old. With a filmography spanning five decades ranging from Mean Streets to Silver Linings Playbook, it suffices to say that the Raging Bull has had an illustrious career on the big screen and stands as one of the greatest performers of all time. That being said, I have to tell you that...
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REVIEW: Despite a Triple Threat Match Amongst Box Boy Santana, Big Daddy Johns & Riddick on Not Furya, This Sci-Fi Flick Lacks a Spine

Posted by James Brown on Friday, September 6, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Riddick

Directed By: David Twohy

Starring: Vin Diesel, Jordi Mollá, Matt Nable, Katee Sackho, Dave Bautista, Bokeem Woodbine, Raoul Trujillo, and Karl Urban

The fall movie season is officially underway, which means I should think about taking a break for a few weeks from the box office. I genuinely wouldn't miss much. We've got The Family, another action movie penned by writer-director Luc Besson who I've yet to forgive for the abysmal Taken 2 last year. We've got Battle of the Year, a Step ...
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REVIEW: Former Race Car Driver Mr. Brent Magna Meets His Greatest Fan in One Stupid Movie Titled Getaway

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 31, 2013, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Getaway

Directed By: Courtney Solomon

Starring: Ethan Hawke, Selena Gomez, Jon Voight, Bruce Payne, Paul Freeman, Rebecca Budig, and James Maslow

There have been a lot of bad movies this year, and the pain just won't stop for whatever reason. We've had horror movies that have made me cringe at how inept the victims are, spoof movies that have made me wonder how high the writers were during the creative process, and action movies that have made me laugh at their goal to outdo Michael Bay with bi...
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REVIEW: With Clary, Jace, and Bach, The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones Offers Some Pretty Mundane Shadow Hunters

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 23, 2013, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones

Directed By: Harald Zwart

Starring: Lily Collins, Jamie Campbell Bower, Robert Sheehan, Kevin Zegers, Lena Headey, Kevin Durand, Aidan Turner, Jemima West, Godfrey Gao, CCH Pounder, Jared Harris, and Jonathan Rhys Meyers

Casting can make or break a movie. That's never been more apparent than this weekend. With the announcement that Ben Affleck will be donning the cape and mask of the Dark Knight in the Man of Steel sequel, there has been a swift and harsh ...
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REVIEW: In Kick-Ass 2, Colonel Stars and Stripes' Justice Forever Fails to Deliver Against The Motherfcker's Toxic-Mega Cnts

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 17, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Kick-Ass 2

Directed By: Jeff Wadlow

Starring: Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Chloë Grace Moretz, Jim Carrey, and Morris Chestnut

Many good movies don't need sequels. The Wolfpack never needed to hit the Strip (or any other place of debauchery for that matter) after their wild outing in The Hangover. Badass spy Bryan Mills had no need to go beat the hell out of Albanian baddies after the brutal hunt for his daughter throughout Paris in Taken. Cindy and Brenda certainly didn't...
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REVIEW: Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters – Rick Riordan’s Second Book In The Olympians’ Series Comes To Life

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, August 10, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Thor Freudenthal

Starring: Logan Lerman, Brandon T. Jackson, Alexandra Daddario, Leven Rambin, Stanley Tucci, and Nathan Fillion

In 2010, Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief debuted in theaters and grossed just over $226 million dollars worldwide. The reception to the first installment of the film adaptation of Rick Riordan’s best-selling book series was mixed at best, and it did not have the success of juggernauts li...

REVIEW: Meerkat Frey Forever Grabs All the Fruit She Can From Elysium While Standing on Hippo Max

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 9, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Elysium

Directed By: Neill Blomkamp

Starring: Matt Damon, Jodie Foster, Sharlto Copley, Alice Braga, Diego Luna, Wagner Moura, and William Fichtner

2013 has been a pretty good year for sci-fi lovers. We've had plenty of fun with movies like Oblivion, Star Trek Into Darkness, and even Pacific Rim. If District 9 director Neil Blomkamp has anything to say about it, we're not done quite yet. Hitting theaters this weekend, his latest film Elysium is the last big science fiction film until the like...
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REVIEW: In 2 Guns, Robbing Tres Cruces is Worse Than Robbing the Bank Across the Street From a Diner With the Best Donuts in Three Counties

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 2, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

2 Guns

Directed By: Baltasar Kormâkur

Starring: Denzel Washington, Mark Wahlberg, Paula Patton, James Marsden, Bill Paxton, Edward James Olmos, and Fred Ward

The summer movie season is starting to wind down. It's been an underwhelming summer to say the least. With bomb after bomb after bomb hitting the box office, we've been continuously disappointed. The duds have included films like After Earth, White House Down, The Lone Ranger, and R.I.P.D. Though there have certainly been standouts lik...
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REVIEW: According to Yashida, The Wolverine is a Ronin, a Samurai Without a Master

Posted by James Brown on Friday, July 26, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Wolverine

Directed By: James Mangold

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Hiroyuki Sanada, Haruhiko Yamanouchi, Tao Okamoto, Rila Fukushima, Will Yun Lee, Brian Tee, Svetlana Khodchenkova, and Famke Janssen

I feel like Marvel and DC Comics have largely taken the year off at the box office. Though Iron Man 3 was thoroughly entertaining, it couldn't hold a candle to 2012's The Avengers. Despite all the pre-release hype, Man of Steel didn't live up to its potential. While Thor 2 is on the way this fall, ...
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REVIEW: R.I.P.D. – Men In Black With Dead-ohs

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, July 21, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

R.I.P.D.
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Robert Schwentke

Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Jeff Bridges, Kevin Bacon, Mary-Louise Parker, and Stephanie Szostak

When the trailer for R.I.P.D. debuted, I immediately thought that it looked like Men in Black with dead people instead of aliens. Good-looking rookie cop a la Will Smith? Check. Grumpy old Tommy Lee Jones type veteran? Check. Secret agents who secretly save the world from destruction? Check. Check. Check. Unfortunately, that is where the similari...
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REVIEW: With a Wikileaks Cable on Project Nightshade & Bailey's Red Mercury, Frank, Marvin, and Sarah Hit Paris, Moscow, & London in Red 2

Posted by James Brown on Friday, July 19, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Red 2

Directed By: Dean Parisot

Starring: Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, Mary-Louise Parker, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Lee Byung-hun, Anthony Hopkins, Helen Mirren, Brian Cox, David Thewlis, and Neal McDonough

Thursday July 18th marked some interesting anniversaries in movie history earlier this week. It marked the 25th anniversary of John McTiernan's Die Hard, a movie that redefined the action genre and put Bruce Willis on the map in Hollywood. It also marked the 5th anniversary of Christopher Nol...
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REVIEW: Pacific Rim – Jaegers Battle Kaijus In This Godzilla Meets Voltron Meets War Of The Worlds Flick

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, July 14, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Pacific Rim
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Guillermo del Toro

Starring: Idris Elba, Charlie Hunnam, Rinko Kikuchi, Charlie Day, Ron Perlman, Rob Kazinsky, and Max Martini

Pacific Rim is an interesting entry into the summer 2013 blockbuster season. It is not a sequel, it does not contain an A-list cast, and the title is a little bland. Moreover, there was even controversy before its release as Michael Bay seemingly took potshots at Pacific Rim as a Transformers rip-off. Pacific Rim however delivers ...
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REVIEW: With Spirit Walker Kemosabe and Comanche Spirit Warrior Tonto, The Lone Ranger May Not Be the Wrong Brother of Pirates After All

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, July 3, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Lone Ranger

Directed By: Gore Verbinski

Starring: Johnny Depp, Armie Hammer, Tom Wilkinson, William Fichtner, Barry Pepper, Ruth Wilson, James Badge Dale, and Helena Bonham Carter

Ten years ago this coming Tuesday, the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise was born. Director Gore Verbinski and star Johnny Depp proved a winning combination and put swashbuckling action back in style at that time. Now some ten years later, Verbinski and Depp are back together to see if they can recreate the fun ...
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REVIEW: For White House Down, the Pen is Not Quite Mightier Than the Sword Despite Being a Die Hard Knockoff With Political Overtones

Posted by James Brown on Friday, June 28, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

White House Down

Directed By: Roland Emmerich

Starring: Channing Tatum, Jamie Foxx, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jason Clarke, Richard Jenkins, James Woods, Garcelle Beauvais, Lance Reddick, Joey King, Rachelle LeFevre, and Michael Murphy

It's been one hell of a week. The very foundations of American democracy have been rocked by an outright malicious Supreme Court. Our Congressmen continue to extend their record streak of sitting on their asses doing nothing. We’re ultimately left to suffer from all...
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REVIEW: In World War Z, the Number 12 Train Helps the World's Best Serial Killer Mother Nature Infect Everyone Except the 10th Man

Posted by James Brown on Friday, June 21, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

World War Z

Directed By: Marc Forster

Starring: Brad Pitt, Mireille Enos, James Badge Dale, Matthew Fox, and David Morse

I've rarely seen a film more plagued with production issues than World War Z. There have been twenty million rewrites to the screenplay, an adaptation of the 2006 novel by Max Brooks. The movie, which has been in the works for six years, had a really hard time getting financing. To cap off this movie's woes, casting changes took place throughout filming. With all of this, ...
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REVIEW: In Man of Steel, A Modern Superman Proves That Evolution Wins Most of the Time

Posted by James Brown on Friday, June 14, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Man of Steel

Directed By: Zack Snyder

Starring: Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Michael Shannon, Diane Lane, Kevin Costner, Laurence Fishburne, Antje Traue, Ayelet Zurer, and Russell Crowe

"You will give the people an ideal to strive towards. They will race behind you, they will stumble, they will fall. But in time, they will join you in the sun. In time, you will help them accomplish wonders."
-Jor-El (Russell Crowe)

Every movie lover has that one film each year they can't wait to see above all else. F...
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REVIEW: Blessed Be the New Founding Fathers of America, a Nation Reborn With One Big Moral Dilemma Called The Purge

Posted by James Brown on Friday, June 7, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Purge

Directed By: James DeMonaco

Starring: Ethan Hawke, Lena Headey, Adelaide Kane, and Max Burkholder

America is the poster child for gun-loving nations across the globe. I'm not going to delve too deep into the divisive, often illogical misconceptions that are floating around the web about whether or not we should arm ourselves to death, but I can't deny that this has been a hot button issue this year. What I will delve into are the many, many victims of gun violence and some of the mal...
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REVIEW: In Now You See Me, the Four Horsemen Employ the Targeted Deception and Misdirection of Magic for the Eye and for Shrike

Posted by James Brown on Friday, May 31, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Now You See Me

Directed By: Louis Leterrier

Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Mark Ruffalo, Woody Harrelson, Mélanie Laurent, Isla Fisher, Dave Franco, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, and Common

"Come in close, because the more you think you see, the easier it'll be to fool you."
-J. Daniel Atlas (Jesse Eisenberg)

Everyone loves a good magic trick. It's the stuff that makes you put faith in the impossible, the inexplicable. It's just hard to translate the awe and wonder of magic to the big screen. Jus...
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REVIEW: Father-Son Sci-Fi Flick After Earth Does a Little Too Much Ghosting Because of the Fear Factor Named Ursa

Posted by James Brown on Friday, May 31, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

After Earth

Directed By: M. Night Shyamalan

Starring: Jaden Smith, Will Smith, Isabelle Fuhrman, Sophie Okonedo, Zoë Isabella Kravitz, and David Denman

"Fear is not real. It is a product of thoughts you create…Now do not misunderstand me, danger is very real. But fear is a choice."
-General Cypher Raige, Prime Commander (Will Smith)

In all the advertisements for After Earth over the course of 2013, one major credit has been noticeably missing, the director. The marketing efforts heavily focuse...
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REVIEW: The Epic Clash Between Leafmen & Boggans Over a Pod Proves That There Are Many Leaves But One Tree...Plus a Couple of Stompers

Posted by James Brown on Friday, May 24, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Epic

Directed By: Chris Wedge

Starring: Amanda Seyfried, Colin Farrell, Beyoncé Knowles, Josh Hutcherson, Christoph Waltz, Aziz Ansari, Chris O'Dowd, Pitbull, Jason Sudeikis, and Steven Tyler

Is it me or are animated films more violent these days? I'm going to date myself by saying this, but I grew up during the Second Golden Age of Disney with movies like Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and The Lion King. I grew up when films were told with a song and dance, not a sword and shield. Just look...
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REVIEW: When It Comes to Toretto's Family Code Versus Shaw's Precision in Fast & Furious 6, the Samoan Thor Luke Hobbs Steals the Show

Posted by James Brown on Friday, May 24, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Fast & Furious 6

Directed By: Justin Lin

Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Sung Kang, Luke Evans, Gina Carano, Gal Gadot, Elsa Pataky, and John Ortiz

It's official. I'm convinced that the Fast & Furious films are the 007 flicks of our time. I'm not talking about Daniel Craig, the James Bond we know and love today. I'm talking about the old days with Sean Connery, the master British spy o...
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REVIEW: Star Trek Into Darkness – Captain Kirk, The Mysterious John Harrison, and Robocop Mix It Up Aboard The NCC-1701 In This Phenomenal Sci-Fi Flick

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Thursday, May 16, 2013, In : 0.00% Water

Star Trek Into Darkness
SoberFilmChick

Directed By: J.J. Abrams

Starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldana, Benedict Cumberbatch, Karl Urban, John Cho, Simon Pegg, Peter Weller, Alice Eve, Bruce Greenwood, and Anton Yelchin

Director J.J. Abrams appeared on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart this week and revealed that he was not originally a fan of the Star Trek television series. After becoming involved with developing a new Star Trek movie series, he did revisit the television show and gre...
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REVIEW: Blue Da Ba Dee Da Ba Die...Mechanic Tony Stark's Avengers Demons & Aldrich Killian's Extremis Are Giving Him Anxiety Attacks in Iron Man 3

Posted by James Brown on Friday, May 3, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Iron Man 3

Directed By: Shane Black

Starring: Robert Downey, Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Guy Pearce, Rebecca Hall, Stephanie Szostak, James Badge Dale, Jon Favreau, Ben Kingsley, and William Sadler

The summer movie season is upon us! As usual, superhero flicks will dominate this summer’s blockbusters. Interestingly enough, we're seeing a changing of the guard this year. With the end of Christopher Nolan's Batman Trilogy, the Man of Steel will be substituting for the Dark Knight. For...
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REVIEW: Sun Gym Bodybuilder Danny Lugo is a Doer Trying to Gain the American Dream, But Teaming with El Dad & Torturing Pepe Only Bring Pain

Posted by James Brown on Friday, April 26, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Pain & Gain

Directed By: Michael Bay

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, Ed Harris, Rob Corddry, Anthony Mackie, Tony Shalhoub, Rebel Wilson, Ken Jeong, Jennifer Nicole Lee, Yolanthe Sneijder-Cabau, and Bar Paly

We've been seeing quite a bit of The Rock lately. Unfortunately, he's had more misses than hits. He starred in the less than memorable Snitch back in February. He was then the lead in G.I. Joe: Retaliation, which was just a decent action flick by any standard. From what I've hea...
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REVIEW: If You're a Member of the Weather Underground Organization Like Nick Sloan, Secrets are the Only Company You Keep

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 14, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Company You Keep

Directed By: Robert Redford

Starring: Robert Redford, Shia LaBeouf, Julie Christie, Susan Sarandon, Jackie Evancho, Brendan Gleeson, Brit Marling, Anna Kendrick, Terrence Howard, Richard Jenkins, Nick Nolte, Sam Elliott, Stephen Root, Keegan Connor Tracy, Stanley Tucci, and Chris Cooper

Robert Redford has been a busy man as of late. He's joining the Marvel Cinematic Universe as Nick Fury's boss in Captain America: Winter Soldier. He'll be appearing in survival thriller All...
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REVIEW: In G.I. Joe, Project Zeus Offers Cobra Commander Some Fitting Retaliation, But Roadblock is Here

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, March 28, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Directed By: John M. Chu

Starring: Bruce Willis, Dwayne Johnson, D.J. Cotrona, Lee Byung-hun, Adrianne Palicki, Ray Park, Jonathan Pryce, Ray Stevenson, and Channing Tatum

Up until now, all indicators pointed to the foregone conclusion that G.I. Joe: Retaliation would suck. It's not just the fact that its predecessor G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra sucked. Afraid of competing with The Amazing Spider-Man, Paramount pushed its release date back from Fourth of July last year (to...
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REVIEW: Olympus Has Fallen – They’ve Taken The White House! Where is Dennis Rodman When You Need Him?

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, March 24, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Olympus Has Fallen
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Antoine Fuqua

Starring: Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman, Angela Bassett, Rick Yune, and Dylan McDermott

Late last weekend, I was flipping through cable channels and I stumbled across Air Force One on the Starz network. I was reminded of what a well-done presidential, terrorist, kidnapping action flick looks like. Olympus Has Fallen is decent, but it is no Air Force One.

In Olympus Has Fallen, Mike Banning (Gerard Butler) is a par...

REVIEW: Spring Break Forever Bitches! These Four Little Chickies' Trip to Florida Seems Like a Dream

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 23, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Spring Breakers

Directed By: Harmony Korine

Starring: James Franco, Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Benson, Rachel Korine, and Gucci Mane

I came into Spring Breakers with some pretty low expectations. The trailer simply didn't make the sale for me. A gangster party movie with some all grown up, scantily clad teen princesses and a thugged up James Franco didn't leave me expecting much. There are so many ways that a movie like this could go wrong. In my mind, there was no way this thing ...
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REVIEW: In Revenge Flick Dead Man Down, 719 Is All About Killing the Devil Slowly, Not When You Find Him

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 9, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Dead Man Down

Directed By: Niels Arden Oplev

Starring: Colin Farrell, Noomi Rapace, Terrence Howard, Dominic Cooper, Isabelle Huppert, and Wade Barrett

Noomi Rapace's career has been on the rise for quite some time now, and it's well-deserved given her raw acting talent. In the last couple of years, the original girl with the dragon tattoo has gotten some major exposure on the big screen. Rapace had a supporting role alongside Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law in Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shado...
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REVIEW: Jack The Giant Slayer 3D – Between Heaven And Earth, Jack And The King’s Guardians Battle Some Pretty Ruthless Giants

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, March 2, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Jack The Giant Slayer 3D
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Bryan Singer

Starring: Nicholas Hoult, Eleanor Tomlinson, Ewan McGregor, Stanley Tucci, Bill Nighy, and Ian McShane

"Fee Fye Foe Fumm. Ask not whence the thunder comes. For between Heaven and Earth it's a perilous place. Home to a fearsome giant race."
–King Brahmwell (Ian McShane)

Jack the Giant Slayer is the latest movie to update a traditional fairy tale into an action adventure film. Because X-Men and Usual Suspects director Bryan Si...

REVIEW: Snitch – The Rock Enters The Drug War To Save His Son, But Doesn’t Quite Lay The Smackdown

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, February 24, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Snitch
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Ric Roman Waugh

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Susan Sarandon, Michael Kenneth Williams, Benjamin Bratt, Jon Bernthal, Rafi Gavron

I am a huge fan of Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson. He is an amazingly charismatic wrestler and he has parlayed that into an impressive movie career (i.e. The Rundown, Fast Five). Thus, I was enthusiastic about his new movie Snitch. I anticipated a butt-kicking father out for justice for his son. I thought it had the potential to be a ...

REVIEW: After Your Latest Outing in A Good Day to Die Hard Detective McClane, Forget the Vacation in Chernobyl. Just Retire.

Posted by James Brown on Friday, February 15, 2013, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

A Good Day to Die Hard

Directed By: John Moore

Starring: Bruce Willis, Jai Courtney, Sebastian Koch, Radivoje Bukvic, Cole Hauser, and Yuliya Snigir

I can't believe it's been 25 years since the original Die Hard came out. Arguably the most influential action movie of all time, this beloved film has reached its silver anniversary and is now legitimately a classic. This year marks a time to celebrate and honor John McClane for what he's done for action movies. With that in mind, Bruce Willis...

REVIEW: Even With the Chaos from Danzinger and Chicago, Parker Doesn't Follow Through on Delivering a Decent Action Flick

Posted by James Brown on Friday, January 25, 2013, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Parker

Directed By: Taylor Hackford

Starring: Jason Statham, Jennifer Lopez, Michael Chiklis, Wendell Pierce, Clifton Collins, Jr., Bobby Canavale, and Nick Nolte

Jason Statham is one of the busiest action stars in the business, but it's rare that he actually produces something good. In the last two years alone, he's appeared in The Mechanic, Killer Elite, and The Expendables 2. This guy is clearly in the habit of making bad movies. That's why it's so fitting for him to grace theaters dur...

REVIEW: In The Last Stand at the Mexican Border, the Sheriff of Summerton Puts a Cheesy Hurtin' on Druglord Gabriel Cortez

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 19, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Last Stand

Directed By: Kim Ji-woon

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Forest Whitaker, Johnny Knoxville, Rodrigo Santoro, Luis Guzmán, Jaimie Alexander, Eduardo Noriega, Peter Stormare, Zach Gilford, and Genesis Rodriguez

The Last Stand presents a very interesting question about classic action star Arnold Schwarzenegger. After all, the Terminator is a little antiquated at the ripe old age of 65. To make matters more interesting, it's now been ten years since Terminator 3: Rise of the M...

REVIEW: In Zero Dark Thirty, Maya's Canaries Follow Courier Abu Ahmed to Deliver Justice Upon Osama bin Laden

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 12, 2013, In : 0.00% Water

Zero Dark Thirty

Directed By: Kathryn Bigelow

Starring: Jessica Chastain, Jason Clarke, Joel Edgerton, Chris Pratt, Kyle Chandler, Edgar Ramirez, Mark Strong, Jennifer Ehle, Mark Duplass, Scott Adkins, and Taylor Kinney

History seems to be the predominant story of this awards season. It's the history of our sixteenth president and his fight to pass the Thirteenth Amendment in Lincoln. It's the history of six American diplomats making a fake movie to escape Iran in Argo. It's the history o...

REVIEW: In the Matter of Progress vs. a Better Future, Gangster Squad Loses Its Badge

Posted by James Brown on Friday, January 11, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Gangster Squad

Directed By: Ruben Fleischer

Starring: Josh Brolin, Ryan Gosling, Nick Nolte, Emma Stone, Sean Penn, Anthony Mackie, Giovanni Ribisi, Michael Peña, and Robert Patrick

2012 was the year of long movies. Many of them were good, but they were long. The Avengers, Skyfall, and Lincoln all flirted with the two and a half hour mark, while The Dark Knight Rises, Les Misérables, and Django Unchained blew right past it. Those are some long movies. Because of this I made a New Year'...

REVIEW: Django Unchained – A Western, Slavery-Themed Revenge Flick

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Wednesday, December 26, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Django Unchained
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Quentin Tarantino

Starring: Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio, Kerry Washington, and Samuel L. Jackson

I started off this morning playing Santa Claus for my three year old daughter. Suffice it to say that watching a western set during slavery with a significant body count was not exactly how I thought my Christmas night would end. However, Quentin Tarantino films are always worth the effort.

Django Unchained is set in 1858, shortly ...

REVIEW: Like James Barr's Crime Scene, Jack Reacher is Too Good to Be True

Posted by James Brown on Friday, December 21, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Jack Reacher

Directed By: Christopher McQuarrie

Starring: Tom Cruise, Rosamund Pike, Robert Duvall, Werner Herzog, and Richard Jenkins

"There's this guy. He's a kind of cop, at least he used to be. He doesn't care about proof, he doesn't care about the law, he only cares about what's right. He knows what I did. You can't protect me. No one can."
-James Barr (Joseph Sikora)

Last year around this time, I was raving about Tom Cruise in his fourth outing as Ethan Hunt in Mission: Impossible...

REVIEW: Though Not a Burglar, Hobbit Bilbo Baggins Goes on an Unexpectedly Funny Adventure Through the Misty Mountains

Posted by James Brown on Friday, December 14, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Directed By: Peter Jackson

Starring: Martin Freeman, Ian McKellen, Richard Armitage, James Nesbitt, Ken Stott, Cate Blanchett, Ian Holm, Christopher Lee, Hugo Weaving, Elijah Wood, and Andy Serkis

There's something that's so right about visiting Middle Earth in December. Since The Lord of the Rings trilogy came out a decade ago, I have made it an annual ritual to revisit director Peter Jackson's adaptations of J.R.R. Tolkien's classic fantasy literature dur...

REVIEW: The Wolverines Throw Some Dirt on Red Dawn

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, November 22, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Red Dawn

Directed By: Dan Bradley

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Josh Peck, Josh Hutcherson, Adrianne Palicki, Isabel Lucas, Connor Cruise, and Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Propaganda films are not known for being of the highest quality. I'm not saying this is a hard and fast rule. After all, Casablanca, one of the greatest movies of all time, has its roots in World War II themed propaganda. What I am saying is that quality movies are hard to find within the genre. That's why I'm so surprised that an...

REVIEW: With the Merchant of Venice and the Loch Ness Monster, Breaking Dawn Part 2 Almost Breaks the Crappy Twilight Mold

Posted by James Brown on Friday, November 16, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2

Directed By: Bill Condon

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Ashley Greene, Kellan Lutz, Nikki Reed, and Michael Sheen

It's finally over! After three novels, four years, and countless bad performances, the Twilight plague is finally over! After enduring the first four films, I came to the final installment The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2 ready to break out the shot glasses. I had every right to be. After all...

REVIEW: In Skyfall, The Last Two Rats Eat Each Other Alive for Our Pleasure

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, November 8, 2012, In : 0.00% Water

Skyfall

Directed By: Sam Mendes

Starring: Daniel Craig, Javier Bardem, Judi Dench, Ralph Fiennes, Naomie Harris, Bérénice Lim Marlohe, and Albert Finney

I can't believe it's been four years since Daniel Craig's last outing as James Bond in Quantum of Solace. We've all certainly missed 007, his shaken martinis, and his happy trigger finger. That being said, Skyfall is upon us! It's been a year full of hype ranging from an appearance by Craig at the 2012 Olympics with Queen Elizabeth, an ...

REVIEW: When There's Money, Things Get Funny in Jungle Village and RZA Gets Down to Bloody Business as The Man with the Iron Fists

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, November 3, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Man with the Iron Fists

Directed By: RZA

Starring: Russell Crowe, Cung Le, Lucy Liu, Byron Mann, RZA, Rick Yune, David Bautista, and Jamie Chung

Hurricane Sandy may have wreaked havoc upon movie theaters over the last week or so, but it looks like moviegoers on the East Coast have got a little cabin fever this weekend. Business has certainly picked up at theaters, and it's the perfect time. It's the start of the holiday movie season, and there's a little something for everyone. For th...

REVIEW: Alessa & the Order of Valtiel Don't Bring the Darkness in Silent Hill: Revelation 3D

Posted by James Brown on Friday, October 26, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Silent Hill: Revelation 3D

Directed By: Michael J. Bassett

Starring: Adelaide Clemens, Sean Bean, Kit Harrington, Carrie-Anne Moss, Malcolm McDowell, Radha Mitchell, Deborah Kara Unger, and Martin Donovan

I'm so happy that this is the last weekend of October! That means we get a reprieve from bad horror movies for a couple of months. So far in the fall, we've had Sinister, Paranormal Activity 4, and Silent Hill: Revelation 3D. All of these attempted fright fests leave a lot to be desired ...

REVIEW: When a Dog Gets a Bone, It Makes a Sequel...Taken 2

Posted by James Brown on Friday, October 5, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Taken 2

Directed By: Olivier Megaton

Starring: Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace, Famke Janssen, and Rade Šerbedžija

Taken was one awesome movie. Despite the mediocrity around him, Liam Neeson rose to the occasion to turn a formulaic action flick into something much, much more. Over the last four years, the film has become a beloved cult film. When I first learned of the sequel Taken 2, I thought Liam Neeson would come back and give us everything we loved about the original all over again. It ...

REVIEW: Looper Closes the Loop. Bruce Willis is Killing It!

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, September 29, 2012, In : 0.00% Water

Looper

Directed By: Rian Johnson

Starring: Bruce Willis, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Emily Blunt, Paul Dano, Noah Segan, Piper Perabo, and Jeff Daniels

Time travel is quintessentially sci-fi. Some of the greatest sci-fi flicks have turned the time and space continuum on its head. What would cinema be like today if Marty McFly never went back to 1955 or if the Terminator never went back in time to kill John Connor? Time travel is a cornerstone of the science fiction genre, and Rian Johnson decid...

REVIEW: End of Watch is a Cop Mockumentary with a Foul Mouth

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 23, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

End of Watch

Directed By: David Ayer

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Michael Peña, Anna Kendrick, Natalie Martinez, America Ferrera, Frank Grillo, and David Harbour

We've had our fair share of bromances this year. With This Means War, 21 Jump Street, and Savages having already rolled into theaters in the last several months, it's safe to say that there has been plenty of male bonding on the big screen. With David Ayer's cop mockumentary End of Watch hitting movie theaters this weekend, it's al...

REVIEW: As Judge, Jury, and Executioner, the Sentence is Always Death with Dredd

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, September 22, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Dredd

Directed By: Pete Travis

Starring: Karl Urban, Olivia Thirlby, Wood Harris, and Lena Headey

The fall movie season is officially under way. In other words, it's a sad time for me. We're no longer getting those awesome blockbusters with big stars like The Avengers or The Dark Knight Rises, and we're waiting on the awards season to really get started (though the release of The Master is duly noted). It's most evident this weekend with Dredd, a film based on the futuristic British comic...

REVIEW: While No Brakes May Mean Death for Wilee, Premium Rush is the Deadliest Thing of All for the Coyote Man

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 25, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Premium Rush

Directed By: David Koepp

Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Michael Shannon, Aaron Tveit, Dania Ramirez, and Jamie Chung

For all of us drivers out there who live in or near a major city, I have to say one thing. Bikers suck and can be annoying as hell. They're either hogging too much road thereby slowing us down or they're acting crazy and trying to get us killed in accidents. With this in mind, I come to David Koepp's Premium Rush a very jaded moviegoer. It's hard for me to feel e...
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REVIEW: Despite All the Cheese, The Expendables 2 Reunites the Babysitters with the Lone Wolf Chuck Norris. No Matter How Bad It Gets, You Can't Go Wrong with Chuck.

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 17, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Expendables 2

Directed By: Simon West

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Chuck Norris, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Liam Hemsworth, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger

It's time for the AARP's annual night at the movies, and we've got a few special guests. Sylvester Stallone, a guy who lives in the past and misses his glory days, will be serving as the MC. Former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger will be strutting into the...
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REVIEW: Aaron Cross Takes Up the Bourne Legacy, While Sin-Eater Eric Byer Tries to Burn Operation Outcome Down to the Ground

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 11, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Bourne Legacy

Directed By: Tony Gilroy

Starring: Jeremy Renner, Rachel Weisz, Edward Norton, Joan Allen, and Albert Finney

The Bourne Legacy is a film that's had a shadow cast over it from the day it was announced. It's the Jason Bourne movie without Jason Bourne. With Paul Greengrass and Matt Damon departing the franchise, it's a new chapter in the series. Tony Gilroy (Michael Clayton, Duplicity) is taking the director's chair from Greengrass, while Jeremy Renner (The Avengers, Mission: ...
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REVIEW: While the Fall Enslaves Us All, Bad Filmmaking Enslaves Total Recall

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 4, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Total Recall

Directed By: Len Wiseman

Starring: Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Bryan Cranston, John Cho, and Bill Nighy

Remakes are a dime a dozen in Hollywood. To an extent, it's understandable. After more than a century of making movies, there are only so many ways you can make a film with a happy ending. However, we should never stop trying to make fresh, innovative movies. Sadly, Hollywood has gone and done just the opposite. Studios aren't really creative anymore. They ...
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REVIEW: He May Only Find Pain When He Gets Back in the Game, But The Dark Knight Rises to the Occasion

Posted by James Brown on Friday, July 20, 2012, In : 0.00% Water

The Dark Knight Rises (TDKR)

Directed By: Christopher Nolan

Starring: Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Anne Hathaway, Tom Hardy, Marion Cotillard, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Morgan Freeman

During a summer blockbuster season that's offered moviegoers ass-kicking Avengers, web-slinging heroes, time-traveling secret agents, and weed-smoking teddy bears, the Dark Knight has finally arrived! It's been four years since Christopher Nolan's landmark film The Dark Knight, and not much has chan...
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REVIEW: For the Love of Strong Weed, Savages Gets Down to Bloody Business

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, July 8, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Savages

Directed By: Oliver Stone

Starring: Taylor Kitsch, Aaron Johnson, Blake Lively, Salma Hayek, Benicio del Toro, Emile Hirsch, and John Travolta

We're at the peak of the summer movie season. There is something for everybody right now. We've got a lot in theaters, but we really hadn't had a movie that gets down and dirty in a bloody, brutal way until now. This weekend Oliver Stone comes to fill this void with his new movie Savages. With all the sex, drugs, and guns in this flick, you'll...
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REVIEW: In a World Without Weakness, The Amazing Spider-Man Nearly Succeeds at Becoming Amazing

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, July 3, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

The Amazing Spider-Man

Directed By: Marc Webb

Starring: Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Rhys Ifans, Martin Sheen, Sally Field, Irrfan Khan, and Chris Zylka

Ten years ago, Sam Raimi's Spider-Man changed the landscape of comic book movies. The film is considered one of the greatest comic book flicks of all time. Fast forward five years, and you'll get the regrettable Spider-Man 3. The film tried to do too much. Now that another five years have passed, we've arrived at the inevitable reboot, perha...
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REVIEW: History Remembers the Battle But Forgets the Blood. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Remembers the Blood But Forgets How to Make a Good Movie

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 23, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Directed By: Timur Bekmambetov

Starring: Benjamin Walker, Dominic Cooper, Anthony Mackie, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Rufus Sewell, and Marton Csokas

"History prefers legends to men, nobility to brutality, soaring speeches to quiet deeds. History remembers the battles, but forgets the blood. If history remembers me at all, it will only be a fraction of the truth."
-Abraham Lincoln (Benjamin Walker)

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Based on the title alone, this film...
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REVIEW: Snow White and the Huntsman — Not Your Mother’s Fairytale

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, June 2, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Snow White and the Huntsman
SoberFilmChick

Directed By: Rupert Sanders

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Charlize Theron, Chris Hemsworth, Sam Claflin, and Ian McShane

Finally! Something has come along to erase the memory of Julia Roberts’ lackluster Snow White tale Mirror, Mirror from earlier this year. If we had to ask the mirror on the wall which was the fairest film of all based on Snow White, The Huntsman would win by a landslide. With sweeping cinematography, interesting characters, and a heft...
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REVIEW: Men in Black 3 — Will Smith Is In The Building

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, May 26, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Men in Black 3
SoberFilmChick

Directed By: Barry Sonnenfeld

Starring: Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin, Jemaine Clement, Michael Stuhlbarg, and Emma Thompson

I have a confession to make: I love Will Smith. Whether I’m watching him on reruns of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, watching him play a down on his luck homeless man in The Pursuit of Happyness, or seeing him backhand a rude reporter attempting to kiss him, I’m a fan. Thus his hiatus for the last few years has been disappointing...
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REVIEW: With Chicken Burritos, Mighty Mo, & the Art of War, Hasbro's Battleship is a Transformers Wannabe

Posted by James Brown on Friday, May 18, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Battleship

Directed By: Peter Berg

Starring: Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgård, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Liam Neeson

When I first heard of the movie Battleship, I laughed uncontrollably. First of all, Hollywood is so desperate for money that they’re trying to turn a board game into a film. Second, the film's got plenty of potential to have some terrible acting from a cast that includes the likes of Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker. Finally, the awful trailers made it clear to me that Battlesh...
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REVIEW: When the Ants Get the Boot, The Avengers Kick Some Ass. Then They Get Some Shawarma.

Posted by James Brown on Friday, May 4, 2012, In : 0.00% Water

The Avengers

Directed By: Joss Whedon

Starring: Robert Downey, Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Tom Hiddleston, and Samuel L. Jackson

"There was an idea to bring together a group of remarkable people, so when we needed them, they could fight the battles that we never could... "
-Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson)

2011 was a good year for comic book movies, but 2012 is the year of the superhero movie. If movies were people, last year's comic book flick...
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REVIEW: Quoth The Raven, "Nevermore Shall I Torture Myself with This Crap!"

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 28, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Raven

Directed By: James McTeigue

Starring: John Cusack, Alice Eve, Oliver Jackson-Cohen, Luke Evans, Kevin McNally, Pam Ferris, Sergej Trifunovic, Ian Virgo, and Sam Hazeldine

2012 supposedly marks the end of the world. Since I'm writing this review, I'm inclined to think otherwise. Hell, I'd argue that 2012 marks the year history will be rewritten. We've got Abraham Lincoln becoming a vampire hunter. We've got Snow White becoming an action hero. We've even got Edgar Allan Poe becoming...
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REVIEW: Jason Statham Eats Bullets for Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner in Safe. That's Just Good Business Right There.

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 28, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Safe

Directed By: Boaz Yakin

Starring: Jason Statham, Catherine Chan, and Chris Sarandon

This weekend really is the preamble to the summer blockbuster season. With Marvel's The Avengers next weekend, it seems almost pointless to go to the movies right now. Almost. Having seen action star Jason Statham's latest flick Safe, I can easily say that this movie might be worth stepping out to the box office one last time before the Marvel superheroes assemble next week.

Former NYPD police officer Luke...
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REVIEW: Lockout Takes Crappy Movies to the Next Frontier—Space

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 14, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Lockout

Directed By: James Mather and Stephen St. Leger

Starring: Guy Pearce, Maggie Grace, Vincent Regan, Joseph Gilgun, Lennie James, and Peter Stormare

April is really a filler month in the box office schedule that's hit-or-miss for moviegoers. More often than not, the release schedule is filled with crap. The heavy hitters released in March are still hanging around in theaters, and the new stuff is just the preamble to the summer blockbuster season. The futuristic thriller Lockout is just...
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REVIEW: Brake- Don’t Stop For This Crap

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, April 14, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Brake
SoberFilmChick

Directed By: Gabe Torres

Starring: Stephen Dorff, Chyler Leigh, JR Bourne, and Tom Berenger

Imagine Die Hard if Bruce Willis was trapped in a glass coffin for an hour and a half and all he had was his wits to battle terrorists. Oh yeah, and Bruce was neither charismatic nor funny. Does that sound entertaining? No? Well neither was Brake.

In Brake, Secret Service agent Jeremy Reins (Stephen Dorff) wakes up in a glass coffin. Much to his horror, he is being held captive by t...
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REVIEW: Aunque los Rancheros Dicen que Saben Nada, Saben lo que es Cómico en Casa de Mi Padre. (Even Though The Rancheros Claim They Nothing, They Know What's Funny in Casa de Mi Padre.)

Posted by James Brown on Friday, April 6, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Casa de Mi Padre

Directed By: Matt Piedmont

Starring: Will Ferrell, Gael García Bernal, Diego Luna, Génesis Rodríguez, Pedro Armendáriz, Jr., Nick Offerman, Efren Ramirez, and Adrian Martinez

Will Ferrell used to be the SNL vet that gave moviegoers mainstream comedies that set the standard for everybody else. Just think of future classics like Old School, Elf, and Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. Lately, he's been on the indie scene. We recently saw him in the independent flic...
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REVIEW: In Wrath of the Titans, Randomness Is the Name of the Game

Posted by James Brown on Friday, March 30, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Wrath of the Titans

Directed By: Jonathan Liebesman

Starring: Sam Worthington, Rosamund Pike, Bill Nighy, Édgar Ramirez, Toby Kebbell, Danny Huston, Ralph Fiennes, and Liam Neeson

Wrath of the Titans has finally hit theaters. This means we get to watch studios take a big crap all over Greek mythology for the millionth time. I'm not a fan of the 2010 flick Clash of the Titans. I'm also not a fan of Sam Worthington. That being said, I went into Wrath of the Titans with pretty low expectations...
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REVIEW: The Raid: Redemption Is a Bloodbath That Just Fits

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 24, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

The Raid: Redemption

Directed By: Gareth Evans

Starring: Iko Uwais, Joe Taslim, Donny Alamsyah, Yayan Ruhian, Pierre Gruno, Tegar Setrya, and Ray Sahetapy

The world of movies has turned on its head this weekend. For once, the big blockbuster of the weekend is one for the ladies, while the indie is more so for the guys. As I mentioned in my review of The Hunger Games, the film is a rich story with limited action. Though it's a great movie, The Hunger Games has inherently more appeal to women. ...
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REVIEW: 21 Jump Street Ain't What It Used To Be

Posted by James Brown on Friday, March 16, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

21 Jump Street

Directed By: Phil Lord and Chris Miller

Starring: Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Brie Larson, Dave Franco, Ellie Kemper, Rob Riggle, and Ice Cube

With the lack of creativity that's been raging in Hollywood in recent years, studios have been bringing many classic television shows to the big screen. Just look at films like Bewitched, Charlie's Angels, and Get Smart. All of these movies are attempts to replicate the magic of the past, and this rarely works. In actuality, the studios ...
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REVIEW: John Carter of Mars, Welcome to the Big Screen. What Took You So Long?

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 10, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

John Carter

Directed By: Andrew Stanton

Starring: Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins, Samantha Morton, Mark Strong, Ciarán Hinds, Dominic West, James Purefoy, and Willem Dafoe

John Carter is a movie that's destined to be a flop. With a hefty $250 million dollar production budget and a lot of negative pre-release buzz, Disney stands to lose some big bucks. With all this negative attention surrounding the movie, it should be hard to watch and critique John Carter objectively. I don't give a damn abou...
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REVIEW: The Damn Few Have Every Reason to Be Proud of Act of Valor...Except for Some Bad Acting

Posted by James Brown on Friday, February 24, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Act of Valor

Directed By: Mike McCoy and Scott Waugh

Starring: Roselyn Sanchez, Nestor Serrano, and Emilio Rivera

Movies based on true stories have the greatest advantage over fictional films—the plethora of people who can offer expertise on the story being told based on their actual life experiences. Their consultation in the filmmaking process can often lend a film a certain authenticity. Look no further than recent films like Moneyball and In the Land of Blood and Honey. These flicks rea...
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REVIEW: Ghost Rider Has a Spirit of Vengeance, But It's Still One Ride You Don't Wanna Take

Posted by James Brown on Friday, February 17, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

Directed By: Neveldine/Taylor

Starring: Nicolas Cage, Fergus Riordan, Ciarán Hinds, Violante Placido, Idris Elba, Christopher Lambert, and Johnny Whitworth

Nicolas Cage was once a respected, formidable actor. This guy is an Oscar winner with some great films on his résumé including Face/Off, The Rock, and Adaptation. When the IRS came knocking though, his career stopped rocking. It's clear. He's become known for making some of the worst films in recent years...
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REVIEW: This Means War Means Business

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, February 15, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

This Means War

Directed By: McG

Starring: Reese Witherspoon, Chris Pine, Tom Hardy, Chelsea Handler, and Til Schweiger

Guys, it's Valentine's Day weekend, and you're looking for that right movie that can please you and your significant other. It needs to be action-packed, funny, and somehow romantic. That’s a tall order though. Having some badass action sequences for you and some heartfelt, raw emotional scenes for the ladies is a challenging task for any movie. No one film can do all of t...
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REVIEW: Journey 2: The Mysterious Island - Terminal Intensity For Kids

Posted by Mary Dieng on Saturday, February 11, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island
Mary Dieng

Directed By: Brad Peyton

Starring: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Michael Caine, Josh Hutcherson, Vanessa Hudgens, and Kristin Davis

I encountered the best part of Journey 2: The Mysterious Island days before its release. In the Twitterverse, actor Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol) commented on the Journey 2 movie poster, saying “Every morning on the way to work I see a big poster of The Rock riding a bee with termina...
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REVIEW: Safe House Plays It Too Safe

Posted by James Brown on Friday, February 10, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Safe House

Directed By: Daniel Espinosa

Starring: Denzel Washington, Ryan Reynolds, Vera Farmiga, Brendan Gleeson, and Sam Shepard

These last several months have been an interesting time for movies with big actors. Time and time again, we've all been asking whether great acting is enough to make a movie great. Well, the results have been mixed thus far. In J. Edgar, Leonardo DiCaprio gives a powerhouse performance. The problem is that the movie absolutely sucks. In The Iron Lady, Meryl Stre...
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REVIEW: Chronicle Rocks!

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 4, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Chronicle

Directed By: Josh Trank

Starring: Michael B. Jordan, Dane DeHaan, Michael Kelly, and Alex Russell

It's hard to go to the movies and find something fresh and new. Hollywood is not a place where there's a great deal of innovation anymore. There's still some hope though. Some filmmakers have dared to turn traditional filmmaking on its head by making mockumentaries. These documentary-like flicks are the next big thing in cinema. Just think about movies like Paranormal Activity and Dis...
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REVIEW: One for the Money Is One for the Crapper

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 28, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

One for the Money

Directed By: Julie Anne Robinson

Starring: Katherine Heigl, Jason O'Mara, Daniel Sunjata, John Leguizamo, Sherri Shepherd, and Debbie Reynolds

2010 marked the beginning of the end for Katherine Heigl. When studio execs decided to give her a gun in the romantic comedy Killers, we all knew that she could only go downhill from there. As expected, the film was awful and bombed at the box office. Heigl hasn't had a hit since that disastrous film. For some strange reason, some st...
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REVIEW: The Man on a Ledge Should Go Ahead and Jump Off. It Would Make My Day.

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 28, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Man on a Ledge

Directed By: Asger Leth

Starring: Ed Harris, Sam Worthington, Elizabeth Banks, Anthony Mackie, Jamie Bell, and Génesis Rodriguez

In any heist flick, there's a certain amount of crap that filmmakers pull that will just never be believable, but we as moviegoers let it slide. We suspend our disbelief. In Fast Five, did you really think Toretto and O'Conner were able to swap vaults with their team members while they were all driving at 80 to 90 miles per hour? In the Ocean's flick...
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REVIEW: The Grey Is a Smart Movie, But It's Also Really Stupid

Posted by James Brown on Friday, January 27, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Grey

Directed By: Joe Carnahan

Starring: Liam Neeson, Frank Grillo, Dermot Mulroney, Dallas Roberts, Joe Anderson, Nonso Anozie, and James Badge Dale

Attention everyone! It's that time of year for a kick-ass Liam Neeson B-movie, and no actor in the world wanted to go toe-to-toe with the famed Irish actor this time around. Liam Neeson has beaten the hell out of every human badass on camera and is now relegated to fighting wolves. Writer/director Joe Carnahan took a stab at bringing a wolf ...
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REVIEW: Haywire Satisfies But Does Not Electrify

Posted by Mary Dieng, Esq. on Saturday, January 21, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Haywire
Mary Dieng

Directed By: Steven Soderbergh

Starring: Gina Carano, Ewan McGregor, Michael Fassbender, Channing Tatum, Michael Angarano, Antonio Banderas, and Michael Douglas

Maybe my expectations were just a little too high. Maybe, I’m a dreamer. I was excited to see Haywire. And why not? A film directed by Steven Soderbergh (Traffic, the Oceans series, Contagion) with a cast that includes new “it” actor Michael Fassbender, Antonio Banderas, Michael Douglas and Ewan McGregor is de...
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REVIEW: Cowboys & Aliens Has the Right Talent But Not the Right Act

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, August 7, 2011, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Cowboys & Aliens

Directed By: Jon Favreau

Starring: Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, and Olivia Wilde

The idea of combining the Wild West and outer space in a film is just so crazy that it could have worked. With names like Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard, and Jon Favreau behind Cowboys & Aliens, we should have expected great things from the film. An even better case could be made for the movie given that it's starring Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford. Unfortunately, the film does not live up to its h...
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REVIEW: The Magic of Harry Potter Comes Full Circle in a Spectacular Finale

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, August 2, 2011, In : 0.00% Water

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

Directed by: David Yates

Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Ralph Fiennes, Helena Bonham-Carter, Alan Rickman, Michael Gambon, and Maggie Smith

We have patiently waited a decade for this moment in film history. We have been on a long, long journey with our three young stars and some of the greatest British actors of our time. We have enjoyed this storied franchise and unflinchingly supported it throughout seven films. At last, I...
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REVIEW: Transformers Fails to Transform the Hype into Greatness

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, August 2, 2011, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Directed by: Michael Bay

Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, and John Turturro

Like any moviegoer, I went into Transformers expecting lots of action and lots of laughs. I certainly got all the guns, stunts, and special effects that an action junkie like myself could ever want. I certainly got the laughs too, but I was still disappointed at the end of the film. A lot is missing from the film that keeps it from becoming ...
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