Showing Tag: "vampires" (Show all posts)

REVIEW: Prince Vlad Dracula, Son of the Devil, Goes to the Untold Broken Tooth Mountain to Protect His People From the Turks

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, October 12, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Dracula Untold

Directed By: Gary Shore

Starring: Luke Evans, Sarah Gadon, Dominic Cooper, Art Parkinson, and Charles Dance

It's another weekend and yet another reminder that every other Hollywood studio wants to be Marvel. With blockbusters Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Guardians of the Galaxy perpetuating the success of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it's easy to see why everyone else is so envious. While Fox had an excellent outing with X-Men: Days of Future Past in May, the film i...
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REVIEW: For the Shadow-Kissed Dhampir Rose Hathaway Bound to Royal Moroi Lissa Dragomir, Weird Doesn't Begin to Cover It in Vampire Academy

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 9, 2014, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Vampire Academy

Directed By: Mark Waters

Starring: Zoey Deutch, Danila Kozlovsky, Lucy Fry, Dominic Sherwood, Olga Kurylenko, Cameron Monaghan, Sami Gayle, Ashley Charles, Claire Foy, Sarah Hyland, Gabriel Byrne, and Joely Richardson

With the Harry Potter franchise wrapping up almost three years ago and The Hunger Games series concluding in the very near future, studios are on the hunt for the next big literary adaptation. 2013 boasted mostly mediocre additions to the niche genre including Beau...
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REVIEW: With Clary, Jace, and Bach, The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones Offers Some Pretty Mundane Shadow Hunters

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 23, 2013, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones

Directed By: Harald Zwart

Starring: Lily Collins, Jamie Campbell Bower, Robert Sheehan, Kevin Zegers, Lena Headey, Kevin Durand, Aidan Turner, Jemima West, Godfrey Gao, CCH Pounder, Jared Harris, and Jonathan Rhys Meyers

Casting can make or break a movie. That's never been more apparent than this weekend. With the announcement that Ben Affleck will be donning the cape and mask of the Dark Knight in the Man of Steel sequel, there has been a swift and harsh ...
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REVIEW: With the Merchant of Venice and the Loch Ness Monster, Breaking Dawn Part 2 Almost Breaks the Crappy Twilight Mold

Posted by James Brown on Friday, November 16, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2

Directed By: Bill Condon

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Ashley Greene, Kellan Lutz, Nikki Reed, and Michael Sheen

It's finally over! After three novels, four years, and countless bad performances, the Twilight plague is finally over! After enduring the first four films, I came to the final installment The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2 ready to break out the shot glasses. I had every right to be. After all...

REVIEW: Hotel Transylvania May Be Paradise for Monsters, But It's Not My Zing

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 30, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Hotel Transylvania

Kids' Rating:

Adults' Rating:

Directed By: Genndy Tartakovsky

Starring: Adam Sandler, Selena Gomez, Andy Samberg, Kevin James, Fran Drescher, John Lovitz, Cee Lo Green, Steve Buscemi, Molly Shannon, and David Spade

Animated films have really taken a dark turn in recent weeks. While we had lighter films like The Lorax and Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted earlier in the year, we've now got studios bringing all kinds of monsters, ghouls, and witches to life for the kids. We...

REVIEW: History Remembers the Battle But Forgets the Blood. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Remembers the Blood But Forgets How to Make a Good Movie

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 23, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Directed By: Timur Bekmambetov

Starring: Benjamin Walker, Dominic Cooper, Anthony Mackie, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Rufus Sewell, and Marton Csokas

"History prefers legends to men, nobility to brutality, soaring speeches to quiet deeds. History remembers the battles, but forgets the blood. If history remembers me at all, it will only be a fraction of the truth."
-Abraham Lincoln (Benjamin Walker)

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Based on the title alone, this film...
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REVIEW: Blood Is Thicker Than Water, But Barnabas Fights on for the Collins Family in Vain in Dark Shadows

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 12, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Dark Shadows

Directed By: Tim Burton

Starring: Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter, Eva Green, Jackie Earle Haley, Jonny Lee Miller, Chloë Grace Moretz, and Bella Heathcoate

When 21 Jump Street came out back in March, we all thought it was just another adaptation of a TV show to the big screen. What was the point of bringing the 80s show back to life? When Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum proved us wrong however, we couldn't have been happier. I was hoping Dark Shadows, an adap...
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REVIEW: Underworld Is a Kickass Awakening to the Vampire & Werewolf Genre

Posted by James Brown on Friday, January 20, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Underworld: Awakening

Directed By: Måns Mårlind and Björn Stein

Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Sandrine Holt, Theo James, Michael Ealy, and India Eisley

What ever happened to the good old fashioned movies with vampires and werewolves beating the holy hell out of each other? Those were the good old days. Then, Twilight arrived and forever tainted the vampire and werewolf genre. That series threw romance into the picture and created insanely popular crap. Before Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattins...
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REVIEW: Like Bella, I Have Nightmares. Last Night, I Dreamt About Twilight

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, November 19, 2011, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1

Directed By: Bill Condon

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner

I always try to see the best in movies, but sometimes films are just so crappy that they're downright nightmarish. In my first official review of a Twilight film, I wanted to give a decent review. I wanted to be nice and not piss off those diehard Twilight fans, but the temptation to trash this crappy film is just too great. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part...
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