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REVIEW: Daredevil (2003), The Blind Saviour Of Hell's Kitchen

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 13, 2016,
Daredevil


Directed By: Mark Steven Johnson

Starring: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Colin Farrell, Michael Clarke Duncan, Jon Favreau

Now that Daredevil has taken off on Netflix as arguably Marvel Studios' greatest triumph outside of the cinema, the character of Matt Murdock is squarely in the limelight. Known from comic lore as a blind lawyer with enhanced, sonar-like abilities and keenly honed martial arts skills, Murdock is to Hell's Kitchen what Spider-Man is to Manhattan as a whole. But w...

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REVIEW: On the Roadway to An Apocalyptic Future Courtesy of SkyNet, Terminator 2 Says Hasta La Vista to Judgement Day

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, March 22, 2015, In : 0.00% Water 
Terminator 2: Judgement Day





Directed By: James Cameron


Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Robert Patrick, and Edward Furlong

I'm sure that many of you who are reading this post are fans of James Cameron's 2009 blockbuster Avatar.  The film did gross more than $2.7 billion at the box office and has no money-making equal in the modern era of film.  It has no sequel either, yet.  Fans have waited six years but must wait at least another two to return to Pandora.  This is not the least...

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REVIEW: Ignoring the Butterfly Effect & Chasing the Great White Buffalo, Let's Get It Started in the 80s With A Hot Tub Time Machine & Chernobly

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, March 22, 2015, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Hot Tub Time Machine





Directed By: Steve Pink

Starring: John Cusack, Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson, Clark Duke, Crispin Glover, Lizzy Caplan, Lyndsy Fonseca, and Chevy Chase

I love movies from the 80s.  Despite the poor fashion and cheesy pop culture that partially characterizes the decade, there's something about the movies of the era that's always resonated with me.  Perhaps that's why I love Hot Tub Time Machine.  Steve Pink's wild and playful time travel comedy may not be perfect, but it's an u...

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REVIEW: On Your Feet Soldier! The Future Is Not Set With Cyberdyne Model 101, AKA The Terminator, Hunting Down Sarah Connor With a Phone Book

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, March 22, 2015, In : 0.00% Water 
The Terminator





Directed By: James Cameron

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Biehn, Linda Hamilton, and Paul Winfield


"Thank you, Sarah, for your courage through the dark years.  I can't help you with what you must soon face, except to say that the future is not set.  You must be stronger than you imagine you can be.  You must survive, or I will never exist."
-Kyle Reese (Michael Biehn)

Very few films, especially franchise installments, leave an indelible mark on the cinematic landscape.  If...

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REVIEW: With A Spinosaurus, A Pterodactyl, & Kirby Enterprises, Jurassic Park III Crashes & Burns Returning to Isla Sorna

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, January 20, 2015, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Jurassic Park III





Directed By: Joe Johnston


Starring: Sam Neill, William H. Macy, Téa Leoni, Alessandro Nivola, Trevor Morgan, and Michael Jeter

The hardest reality for a Hollywood studio executive to face is that some of the best movies don't require sequels.  Some of the finest in blockbuster cinema include those films that remain untarnished by needless follow-ups.  These films stand on their own.  Though there are few films that meet this standard anymore, they do exist.  The quintessential...

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REVIEW: When Life Finds a Way on Lost World Isla Sorna, InGen Takes Jurassic Park to San Diego Forgetting the Parental Instincts of a T-Rex

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, January 18, 2015, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
The Lost World: Jurassic Park





Directed By: Steven Spielberg

Starring: Jeff Goldblum, Julianne Moore, Pete Postlethwaite, Vince Vaughn, Arliss Howard, Richard Schiff, and Richard Attenborough

Life will find a way.  That's always been one of my favorite movie quotes because it resonates with so much of what we know about evolution and how species rise and fall in our ecosystem.  Jurassic Park will forever be a classic that puts the Darwinian notion of survival of the fittest to the ultimate test o...

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REVIEW: Oh Captain! My Captain! Mr. John Keating & His Dead Poets Society Seize the Day & Contribute Their Verse to Cinematic History (Carpe Diem)

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 14, 2014, In : 0.00% Water 
Dead Poets Society





Directed By: Peter Weir

Starring: Robin Williams, Robert Sean Leonard, Ethan Hawke, Josh Charles, Gale Hansen, Norman Lloyd, Kurtwood Smith, Dylan Kussman, and James Waterston


Ethan Hawke has had a great last couple of years.  He starred in Richard Linklater's critical darling Before Midnight.  He also found commercial success in The Purge in 2013.  He even had a supporting role in Linklater's coming-of-age masterpiece Boyhood earlier this year.  With Robin Williams's passing ...

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REVIEW: Good Morning, Vietnam!!! Radio Broadcaster Adrian Cronauer Is Bringing A Little Levity to Saigon, As Well As Some James Brown

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, September 13, 2014, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Good Morning, Vietnam





Directed By: Barry Levinson

Starring: Robin Williams, Forest Whitaker, Tung Thanh Tran, Chintara Sukapatana, Bruno Kirby, Robert Wuhl, and J. T. Walsh

With President Obama waging war against ISIS, ISIL, or whatever the hell these nutcases call themselves, one hard reality that a handful of men and women in the service are facing today is that they're headed back over to the Middle East.  That's a tough hand to be dealt, and I have to commend those brave few who will take on...

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REVIEW: At a Bus Stop, Forrest Gump Tells People How He's Run Through Football Fields, Vietnam, & the Shrimp Boating Business All For Jenny

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, September 13, 2014, In : 0.00% Water 
Forrest Gump





Directed By: Robert Zemeckis

Starring: Tom Hanks, Robin Wright, Gary Sinise, Mykelti Williamson, and Sally Field


"Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea.  You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, sauté it.  Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo.  Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried.  There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwic...

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REVIEW: Drinking No Coffee, Fumbling Dumplings, & Fleeing the Red Knight, Janitor of God Parry Helps The Fisher King Jack Lucas Find the Holy Grail

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, September 11, 2014, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
The Fisher King





Directed By: Terry Gilliam

Starring: Robin Williams, Jeff Bridges, Mercedes Ruehl, Amanda Plummer, and Michael Jeter

Like many, I'm revisiting the filmography of Robin Williams as we close out the summer.  With this in mind, I'm sure those of you who follow me have picked up on a pattern.  I'm tackling Williams' more dramatic turns on the big screen.  While I love him as a comedian, it's his comedic charms that make him such a standout in a dramatic setting.  He was able to chann...

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REVIEW: Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones – Anakin Rejects The Role Of The Young Padawan As The Galactic Republic Faces The Dark Side

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Thursday, September 11, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones
SoberFilmChick




Directed by:  George Lucas

Starring: Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman, Ian McDiarmid, Samuel L. Jackson, Christopher Lee, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker, and Frank Oz

With the release of a new Star Wars film imminent, Sobriety Test Movie Reviews continues its retro review series of Episodes I through VI.  Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones marked the second installment in the tale of Anakin Skywalker’s desce...

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REVIEW: With Gozer the Gozerian, Keymaster Vinz Clortho, & Gatekeeper Zuul, Ghostbusters Gets a Big Twinkie & The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, September 11, 2014, In : 0.00% Water 
Ghostbusters





Directed By: Ivan Reitman

Starring: Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Sigourney Weaver, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis, Ernie Hudson, and William Atherton

"Gozer the Traveler.  He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms.  During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg!  Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor!  Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted i...

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REVIEW: Soul Mates Chris & Annie Determine What Dreams May Come on D-Day by What They Paint on the Canvas of the Afterlife

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 30, 2014, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
What Dreams May Come





Directed By: Vincent Ward

Starring: Robin Williams, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Annabella Sciorra, and Max von Sydow

"Sometimes, when you win, you lose."
-Annie Nielsen (Annabella Sciorra)

As I've listened to different media personalities and fans around the world express their love for Robin Williams this month, they've all mentioned a handful of films they treasure in particular.  They've mentioned films like Good Will Hunting, Dead Poets Society, Mrs. Doubtfire, Aladdin, and Awakeni...

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REVIEW: Catching Balls, Taking L-DOPA, and Moving with Ticks, Leonard's Awakenings Show the Will of the Human Spirit to Dr. Sayer

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 29, 2014, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Awakenings





Directed By: Penny Marshall

Starring: Robert De Niro, Robin Williams, John Heard, Julie Kavner, Penelope Ann Miller, and Max von Sydow


"His gaze is from the passing of bars so exhausted, that it doesn't hold a thing anymore.  For him, it's as if there were thousands of bars and behind the thousands of bars no world.  The sure stride of lithe, powerful steps, that around the smallest of circles turns, is like a dance of pure energy about a center, in which a great will stands numbed.  ...

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REVIEW: Mrs. Euphegenia Doubtfire — Dude Looks Like a Lady

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, August 10, 2014, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Mrs. Doubtfire





Directed By: Chris Columbus

Starring: Robin Williams, Sally Field, Lisa Jakub, Matthew Lawrence, Mara Wilson, Pierce Brosnan, and Harvey Fierstein


"They should have a little disclaimer that says ‘Do Not Operate Heavy Machinery While Watching This Show’.  Incredible.  This guy used to put me to sleep when I was a kid.  Amazing.  He has the warmth of a snow pea.  He makes Mister Rogers look like Mick Jagger."
-Daniel Hillard (Robin Williams)

At this point in cinema, I'd argue that...

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REVIEW: Cheer for Dear Old Lean on Me As HNIC Crazy Joe Clark & His Ghosts Resurrect Eastside High & Lead Onto Victory on the Minimum Basic Skills Test

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 8, 2014, In : 0.00% Water 
Lean On Me





Directed By: John G. Avildsen

Starring: Morgan Freeman, Beverly Todd, Alan North, and Robert Guillaume

"They used to call me Crazy Joe.   Well now they can call me Batman!"
-Joe Clark (Morgan Freeman)

It's hard to believe it's been 25 years since Morgan Freeman gave us one of his most colorful performances to date as Principal Joe Clark in Lean On Me. It's hard to believe that it's been 25 years since a cantankerous Freeman saw the lightning crash, heard the thunder roll, and felt break...

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REVIEW: Ape Management's Use of the Achilles List Guarantees the Conquest of the Planet of the Apes

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, July 13, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes





Directed By: J. Lee Thompson

Starring: Roddy McDowall, Don Murray, Ricardo Montalbán, and Natalie Trundy

Caesar (Roddy McDowall): "The King is dead.  Long live the King!  Tell me Breck, before you die - how do we differ from the dogs and cats that you and your kind used to love?  Why did you turn us from pets into slaves?"

Breck (Don Murray): "Because your kind were once our ancestors.  Because man was born of apes, and there's still an ape curled up inside of ...

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REVIEW: With Time Travel, A Presidential Commission, & A Pregnant Zira, Escape from the Planet of the Apes Scoffs at Conventional Narrative Wisdom

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, July 13, 2014, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Escape from the Planet of the Apes





Directed By: Don Taylor


Starring: Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunter, Bradford Dillman, Natalie Trundy, Eric Braeden, Sal Mineo, and Ricardo Montalbán

Beneath the Planet of the Apes has a pretty definitive conclusion.  After all, just about everybody dies.  The film's explosive ending could not kill Hollywood's addiction to sequels, however.  Studio execs somehow resurrect the series and march onward.  This is some pretty unbelievable stuff for the early 70s.  This se...

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REVIEW: In Beneath the Planet of the Apes, Doomsday Nears for This Green & Insignificant Planet Thanks to the Telepaths' Alpha Omega Bomb

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, June 22, 2014, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Beneath the Planet of the Apes





Directed By: Ted Post

Starring: James Franciscus, Kim Hunter, Maurice Evans, Linda Harrison, and Charlton Heston


As I watched Planet of the Apes once again, it reminded me just how bold Rise of the Planet of the Apes and its upcoming sequel Dawn of the Planet of the Apes really are.  In Planet of the Apes and its sequels, the apocalypse has come and gone.  In these newer prequels, we're focusing squarely on the turbulent times that lead to mankind's downfall, which...

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REVIEW: On the Upside Down Planet of the Apes, Bright Eyes Deviant Taylor Wants the Damned Dirty Apes to Get Their Stinking Paws Off Him

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, June 19, 2014, In : 0.00% Water 
Planet of the Apes





Directed By: Franklin J. Schaffner

Starring: Charlton Heston, Roddy McDowall, Maurice Evans, Kim Hunter, James Whitmore, James Daly, and Linda Harrison

"Beware the beast Man, for he is the Devil's pawn.  Alone among God's primates, he kills for sport or lust or greed.  Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land.  Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours.  Shun him; drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the ...

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REVIEW: Justice Is Not Served in Hell's Kitchen by the Blind Lawyer Daredevil, the Man With No Fear

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, June 15, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Daredevil





Directed By: Mark Steven Johnson

Starring: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Michael Clarke Duncan, Colin Farrell, Joe Pantoliano, Jon Favreau, and David Keith

We've got a lot of big superhero movies in 2014 and 2015, including the likes of The Amazing Spider-Man 2, X-Men: Days of Future Past, Guardians of the Galaxy, and The Avengers: Age of Ultron.  Still, moviegoers seem to have their eyes fixated on the Zack Snyder's Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice, which is still two years away. ...

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REVIEW: With Aliens, Rubik's Cubes, and Operation Walking Distance, Super 8 is One Cool Throwback Sci-Fi Flick

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 3, 2014, In : 0.00% Water 
Super 8





Directed By: J. J. Abrams


Starring: Joel Courtney, Elle Fanning, Kyle Chandler, Riley Griffiths, Ryan Lee, and Ron Eldard


The Internet is abuzz with talk about the casting for J.J. Abrams's Star Wars: Episode VII.  Expectedly, some Trekkies are still discontent with the fact that Abrams turned to the dark side by ditching the Star Trek franchise and are once again ranting on the web to make their voices heard.  In between Abrams's jobs of living long and prospering and letting the force ...

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REVIEW: Frank Serpico, A Man of Integrity, Has Surfaced to Air the NYPD's Dirty Laundry

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 3, 2014, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Serpico





Directed By: Sidney Lumet

Starring: Al Pacino, John Randolph, Jack Kehoe, Biff McGuire, Barbara Eda-Young, Cornelia Sharpe, and Tony Roberts


"The reality is that we do not wash our own laundry - it just gets dirtier."
-Frank Serpico (Al Pacino)

Since Al Pacino turned 74 recently, I’ve been reflecting on all the cinematic memories this storied veteran of the screen and stage has given us.  Whether telling Fredo to never take sides against the family, telling the crooks of Miami to say hel...

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REVIEW: In The Insider, 60 Minutes Producer Lowell Bergman Challenges Confidentiality Agreements & Tortious Interference for Big Tobacco Whistleblower Jeffrey Wigand

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 23, 2014, In : 0.00% Water 
The Insider





Directed By: Michael Mann


Starring: Al Pacino, Russell Crowe, Christopher Plummer, Diane Venora, Phillip Baker Hall, Lindsay Crouse, Debi Mazar, Gina Gershon, and Michael Gambon


"You pay me to go get guys like Wigand, to draw him out.  To get him to trust us, to get him to go on television.  I do.  I deliver him.  He sits.  He talks.  He violates his own fucking confidentiality agreement.  And he's only the key witness in the biggest public health reform issue, maybe the biggest, mos...

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REVIEW: With 30 Seconds of the Clash Between Cop Vincent Hanna & Robber Neil McCauley, You Know the Flip Side of the Coin Has Just as Much Heat

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 16, 2014, In : 0.00% Water 
Heat





Directed By: Michael Mann

Starring: Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Tom Sizemore, Diane Venora, Amy Brenneman, Ashley Judd, Mykelti Williamson, Wes Studi, Ted Levine, Jon Voight, Val Kilmer, and Natalie Portman

"A guy told me one time, 'Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.'  Now, if you're on me and you gotta move when I move, how do you expect to keep a... a marriage?"
-Neil McCauley (Robert De N...

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REVIEW: With Oppressive Capitalist Pigs, Rehabs, & Splatter Punks, RoboCop 3 Finds Itself Completely Outdated

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 15, 2014, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
RoboCop 3





Directed By: Fred Dekker


Starring: Robert John Burke, Nancy Allen, Rip Torn, John Castle, Jill Hennessy, Mako, and C. C. H. Pounder


If I thought RoboCop 2 was outdated when it arrived in theaters, you can probably guess what I think about Murphy's third outing in Detroit.  By the time RoboCop 3 arrived in theaters, the science fiction genre had changed forever.  All I need to make my case is that the Tyrannosaurus Rex had already roared on the big screen and elevated our expectations f...

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REVIEW: With Nuke on the Streets & A Kid Running the Drug Scene, RoboCop 2 Is No Lethal Response to Its Predecessor

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 9, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
RoboCop 2





Directed By: Irvin Kershner

Starring: Peter Weller, Nancy Allen, Dan O'Herlihy, Belinda Bauer, Tom Noonan, and Gabriel Damon


As I revisit the RoboCop series, I have mixed feelings.  I loved the original movie, but I have no love whatsoever for its two sequels.  In the case of RoboCop, Hollywood butchered yet another blockbuster series with these sequels.  The proof is in the pudding.  Just look at the second RoboCop movie.  Lacking consistency, coherence, and creativity, RoboCop 2 is a...

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REVIEW: Old Detroit Cleaned Up by OCP Product RoboCop, I'd Buy That for a Dollar Over Delta City

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 25, 2014, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
RoboCop





Directed By: Paul Verhoeven

Starring: Peter Weller, Nancy Allen, Dan O'Herlihy, Ronny Cox, Kurtwood Smith, and Miguel Ferrer

Machines are synonymous with science fiction movies.  Where would John Connor be without The Terminator?  What would the Star Wars saga be like without our beloved droids C-3PO and R2-D2?  Who would send chills down our spines in Alien if not the slippery android Ash?  I could go on and on.  This is just a small slice of the role machines play in sci-fi.  Despite t...

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REVIEW: In Out of Africa, Baroness Karen Blixen and Game Hunter Denys Finch Hatton Fail to Enchant Us With Their Romance

Posted by James Brown on Monday, December 23, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Out of Africa





Directed By: Sydney Pollack

Starring: Meryl Streep, Robert Redford, and Klaus Maria Brandauer


Don't take too much stock in which film wins the Academy Award for Best Picture.  The Oscars are political, and the winners often reflect this rather than a more qualitative assessment of the films released each year.  Given this, the cinematic popularity contest often gets it wrong.  How else could you make the case that Slumdog Millionaire topped The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (and ...

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REVIEW: In The Sound of Music, A Female Deer, A Drop of Golden Sun, and A Name I Call Myself Are a Few of My Favorite Things

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, December 15, 2013, In : 0.00% Water 
The Sound of Music





Directed By: Robert Wise

Starring: Julie Andrews, Christopher Plummer, Richard Haydn, Peggy Wood, Eleanor Parker, Charmian Carr, Nicholas Hammond, Heather Menzies, Duane Chase, Angela Cartwright, Debbie Turner, and Kym Karath

My title is a dead giveaway.  I love The Sound of Music.  With unforgettable tunes like "Do-Re-Mi" and "My Favorite Things", this undoubtedly stands as one of the great musicals of all time.  With Julie Andrews of Mary Poppins lore headlining the film, di...

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REVIEW: With Her Cheery Disposition & Rosy Cheeks, Mary Poppins Brings an Element of Fun to 17 Cherry Tree Lane & Is Practically Perfect in Every Way

Posted by James Brown on Friday, November 29, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Mary Poppins





Directed By: Robert Stevenson

Starring: Julie Andrews, Dick Van Dyke, David Tomlinson, Glynis Johns, Karen Dotrice, and Matthew Garber

It's hard to believe Mary Poppins will be celebrating its 50th anniversary next year.  The festivities get kicked off early this winter with the upcoming awards contender Saving Mr. Banks, a film starring Emma Thompson and Tom Hanks that chronicles the making of this classic musical.  This adaptation of P.L. Travers' children's books is a film that i...

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REVIEW: Born Under Unusual Circumstances & Getting Younger by the Day, Benjamin Button Is Fated to Forever Be a Curious Case

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, November 24, 2013, In : 0.00% Water 
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button





Directed By: David Fincher

Starring: Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, Taraji P. Henson, Julia Ormond, Jason Flemyng, Elias Koteas, Tilda Swinton, and Jared Harris
 
For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be.  There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing.  We can make the best or the worst of it.  I hope you make the best of it.  And I hope you ...

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REVIEW: No Better Than a Beast, Evergreen Oldboy Oh Dae-su Becomes a Monster in Search of the Little Prince in the High Tower

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, November 24, 2013, In : 0.00% Water 
Oldboy





Directed By: Park Chan-wook


Starring: Choi Min-sik, Yoo Ji-tae, and Kang Hye-jung

"Laugh and the world laughs with you.  Weep and you weep alone."
-Oh Dae-su (Choi Min-sik)

I've seen some sick movies in my time, but none may be sicker than Park Chan-wook's Oldboy.  It's one bloody, disgusting movie.  Despite this, the 2003 South Korean thriller is a rare testament to the fact that filmmakers can generate shock and awe with class and style.  In a very surreal scene during which our star pull...

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REVIEW: From the Ghoul Gang Slaughters to the Dead Rabbits Dustup, the Gangs of New York Let the Blood Stay on the Blade

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, November 17, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Gangs of New York





Directed By: Martin Scorsese

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Daniel Day-Lewis, Cameron Diaz, Liam Neeson, Jim Broadbent, Henry Thomas, Brendan Gleeson, Gary Lewis, John C. Reilly, and Stephen Graham


"When you kill a king, you don't stab him in the dark.  You kill him where the entire court can watch him die."
-Amsterdam Vallon (Leonardo DiCaprio)

Legendary director Martin Scorsese's career can be categorized in two phases — De Niro and DiCaprio.  Throughout the 70s, 80s, and 90s, ...

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REVIEW: In The Birds, Practical Jokesters & Lovebirds Mitch Brenner and Melanie Daniels Are on the Front Lines of the Bird War in Bodega Bay

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, November 17, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
The Birds





Directed By: Alfred Hitchcock

Starring: Rod Taylor, Tippi Hedren, Jessica Tandy, Suzanne Pleshette, and Veronica Cartwright


"I have never known birds of different species to flock together.  The very concept is unimaginable.  Why, if that happened, we wouldn't stand a chance!  How could we possibly hope to fight them?"
-Mrs. Bundy (Ethel Griffies), an Ornithologist

If you're the Master of Suspense, what do you do after decades of landmark filmmaking that culminated with the greatest horr...

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REVIEW: Failing as a Twisted Romeo and Juliet, The Rage: Carrie 2 is a Bloody Romance Featuring Ralph White's Other Daughter Rachel

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, October 20, 2013, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
The Rage: Carrie 2





Directed By: Katt Shea


Starring: Emily Bergl, Mena Suvari, Jason London, and Amy Irving

If the last several decades at the movies have proven anything, they've proven that there's no horror movie that Hollywood won't turn into a sequel or remake.  Whether we're talking about Norman Bates, Leatherface, or Jigsaw, we always know that they'll be back on the big screen sometime down the road once again tainting their legacy.  Of all the mass murderers to grace the big screen, I fi...

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REVIEW: Creepy Carrie Meets the Raven Called Sin in the Bloodiest Way Possible at Her Senior Prom & Everyone Laughs at Her

Posted by James Brown on Monday, October 14, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Carrie





Directed By: Brian De Palma

Starring: Sissy Spacek, Piper Laurie, Amy Irving, William Katt, Nancy Allen, Betty Buckley, and John Travolta


"Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live."
-Margaret White (Piper Laurie)

High school can be the toughest time of a person's young life.  At this stage in the game, you're not a kid anymore, but you're not an adult either.  This means that you must navigate the complex social landscape of all your friends and classmates discovering themselves and what the w...

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REVIEW: Goldfinger's Operation Grand Slam at Fort Knox is a Rousing Success Thanks to 007, Pussy Galore, and the Flying Circus

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 22, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Goldfinger





Directed By: Guy Hamilton

Starring: Sean Connery, Gert Fröbe, Honor Blackman, Harold Sakata, and Bernard Lee

Of all the James Bond movies, there's one that stands out as the most iconic, as an all-time classic.  There's only one Goldfinger.  The unforgettable lyrics are sung so effortlessly by Shirley Bassey.  The cool gadgets and toys featured in the film consistently impress.  The delightful characters leave an indelible mark on the 007 franchise.  While I'm partial to Casino Royal...

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REVIEW: It Was a Dog Day Afternoon...Attica! Attica! Attica!

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, August 11, 2013, In : 0.00% Water 
Dog Day Afternoon





Directed By: Sidney Lumet

Starring: Al Pacino, John Cazale, Charles Durning, James Broderick, and Chris Sarandon

"Kiss me.  When I'm being f*cked, I like to get kissed a lot."
-Sonny Wortzik (Al Pacino)

The 1970s are often regarded as the Second Golden Age of Hollywood.  With all the social upheaval of the 60s and 70s over the Civil Rights Movement, Vietnam, and a host of other issues of the day, there were plenty of things on people’s minds when they entered their local multip...

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REVIEW: Christopher Nolan's Insomnia is a Wild Card

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, August 4, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Insomnia





Directed By: Christopher Nolan

Starring: Al Pacino, Robin Williams, Hilary Swank, Maura Tierney, Martin Donovan, Nicky Katt, and Paul Dooley

"A good cop can't sleep because he's missing a piece of the puzzle. And a bad cop can't sleep because his conscience won't let him.”
-Detective Ellie Burr (Hilary Swank)

Though one of the most prolific actors of all time who can do just about anything on the big screen, Al Pacino specializes in playing two types of characters — cops and crooks.  ...

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REVIEW: Mutant and Proud Even During the Cuban Missile Crisis, Frankenstein's Monster Magneto Battles His Creator Sebastian Shaw in X-Men: First Class

Posted by James Brown on Friday, July 26, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
X-Men: First Class





Directed By: Matthew Vaughn

Starring: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Rose Byrne, Jennifer Lawrence, January Jones, Oliver Platt, and Kevin Bacon

"I believe that true focus lies somewhere between rage and serenity."
-Professor Charles Xavier (James McAvoy)

Aside from Hugh Jackman's solo outing in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, there's always been a pervasive theme in the X-Men movies comparing the fight for mutant rights to the Civil Rights Movement.  In my review of the original X...

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REVIEW: Whether Kuekuatsu, the Trickster, or the Moon, Wolverine Does a Disservice to the X-Men Franchise in His Origin Story

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, July 24, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
X-Men Origins: Wolverine





Directed By: Gavin Hood

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Danny Huston, Dominic Monaghan, Ryan Reynolds, Kevin Durand, will.i.am, Taylor Kitsch, and Lynn Collins

"I come with you, I'm coming for blood.  No law, no code of conduct.  You point me in the right direction, and you get the hell out of my way."
-Logan (Hugh Jackman)

Hugh Jackman is perfect to play the Wolverine.  The only better casting of a superhero in the history of comic book movies is Robert Downey, Jr...

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REVIEW: Because Frank Moses Requested Some Pension Checks, His Fellow Seniors Get to Show They're Retired But Extremely Dangerous

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, July 14, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Red





Directed By: Robert Schwentke

Starring: Bruce Willis, Mary-Louise Parker, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren, Brian Cox, and Karl Urban

The actors of today have definitely earned their place in the hearts of moviegoers, but we still love our stars of old.  In the world of action movies for instance, just look to the success of The Expendables and the seemingly unending careers of the legends of the 80s and 90s.  Somehow, the likes of Schwarzenegger and Stallone are still going, gra...

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REVIEW: When Hollywood Manager Lenny Feder Plays Arrow Roulette With His Old Friends, Grown Ups Shows Its Immaturity

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, July 11, 2013, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Grown Ups





Directed By: Dennis Dugan

Starring: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, Rob Schneider, David Spade, Salma Hayek, Maria Bello, and Maya Rudolph

Adam Sandler's career is one big mystery to me.  How does a guy who makes consistently awful movies continue to flourish as a box office champ?  I just don't understand why people still go to see his movies.  It's a true mystery to me.  That being said, an even greater mystery to me is why other stars sign up to join him in his shenanigans on...

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REVIEW: In X-Men: The Last Stand, the Best Defense is Not a Good Offense

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, July 6, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
X-Men: The Last Stand





Directed By: Brett Ratner

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Ian McKellen, Famke Janssen, Anna Paquin, Kelsey Grammer, James Marsden, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Shawn Ashmore, Aaron Stanford, Vinnie Jones, and Patrick Stewart

"Don't let it control you."
-Professor Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart)

Between 2005 and 2007, we didn't have the greatest comic book movies hitting theaters across the globe.  Admittedly, we did have Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins in '05.  However, we...

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REVIEW: With Tornadoes, Cerebro, and the Phoenix, X2 is the Next Link in the Evolutionary Chain of Comic Book Movies

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 29, 2013, In : 0.00% Water 
X2: X-Men United





Directed By: Bryan Singer

Starring: Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen, Halle Berry, Famke Janssen, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Brian Cox, Alan Cumming, Bruce Davison, and Anna Paquin

"Mutants.  Since the discovery of their existence they have been regarded with fear, suspicion, often hatred.  Across the planet, debate rages.  Are mutants the next link in the evolutionary chain or simply a new species of humanity fighting for their share of the world?  Either way it is a his...

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REVIEW: X-Men is the Civil Rights Movie of the Modern Comic Book Movie Genre

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 29, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
X-Men





Directed By: Bryan Singer

Starring: Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen, Halle Berry, Famke Janssen, James Marsden, Bruce Davison, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Ray Park, and Anna Paquin

"Mutation: it is the key to our evolution.  It has enabled us to evolve from a single-celled organism into the dominant species on the planet.  This process is slow, and normally taking thousands and thousands of years.  But every few hundred millennia, evolution leaps forward."

-Professor Charles Xavier (...

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REVIEW: Wedding Crashers Rule #76- No Excuses. Play Like a Champion!

Posted by James Brown on Monday, June 17, 2013, In : 0.00% Water 
Wedding Crashers





Directed By: David Dobkin


Starring: Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, Christopher Walken, Rachel McAdams, Isla Fisher, Bradley Cooper, and Jane Seymour

"True love is the soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another."
-John Beckwith (Owen Wilson)

Apparently, that's the kind of nonsense one spews when trying to pick up a girl at a wedding.  At least that's what's in the wedding crashers rulebook.  I can't be mad at that, or the two hours of hilarious banter between comedians Owen Wils...

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REVIEW: Why the World Doesn't Need Superman Returns

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 1, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Superman Returns





Directed By: Bryan Singer

Starring: Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, James Marsden, Frank Langella, Eva Marie Saint, Parker Posey, Kal Penn, Sam Huntington, and Kevin Spacey

Before we entered this era of filmmaking where studios reboot a franchise at the drop of a hat, studios opted to keep franchises alive forever and ever.  There are countless examples of this.  Look at the Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street series, kept alive through the 1980s, the 1990s, and most of th...

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REVIEW: The Quest for Peace is the Quest to Take Superman to New Lows Entering the Nuclear Arms Race

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 1, 2013, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace





Directed By: Sidney J. Furie


Starring: Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Jackie Cooper, Marc McClure, Jon Cryer, Sam Wanamaker, Mark Pillow, Mariel Hemingway, and Margot Kidder

DC Comics has been getting spanked by Marvel at the movies.  Just look at Iron Man 3 and how that kicks off Phase 2 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  DC seriously needs to step up their game and leverage the abundance of comic book mythology at their fingertips.  As badly as they're losing...

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REVIEW: The Hangover Part II – Holler! City Of Squalor!

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Thursday, May 23, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 

The Hangover Part II
SoberFilmChick



Directed by: Todd Phillips

Starring:  Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Ken Jeong, Justin Bartha, and Paul Giamatti

With the release of The Hangover Part III imminent, STMR continues its retro review series of the Hangover trilogy with The Hangover Part II. Like most sequels, The Hangover Part II suffers in comparison to its predecessor. The first movie was so ridiculously hilarious and original, that it was impossible for the sequel to outdo or ev...


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REVIEW: In Fast & Furious, One Bad Judgement Call is the Difference Between Cop Brian O'Conner and Criminal Dom Toretto

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, May 23, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Fast & Furious





Directed By: Justin Lin

Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez, and Jordana Brewster

"I don't know about your other drivers, but when I see flashing lights in my mirror, I don't stop."
-Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel)

Fast & Furious is the third sequel to The Fast and the Furious, yet it is the first true sequel to the original film with all the principal cast members reprising their roles, including Vin Diesel in his leading role as Dominic Toretto.  It's a damn shame t...

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REVIEW: The Fast and the Furious Somehow Drifts to Tokyo

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, May 23, 2013, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift





Directed By: Justin Lin

Starring: Lucas Black, Sung Kang, Bow Wow, Brian Tee, Nathalie Kelley, Jason Tobin, and Vin Diesel

The Fast & Furious franchise has had a very unusual path to becoming a global box office phenomenon.  The Fast and the Furious was a decent but hardly memorable racing film that had some cool one-liners, hot chicks, and slick 10 second cars.  2 Fast 2 Furious was a solid spinoff starring Paul Walker and a brand new supporting cast.  With...

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REVIEW: Rounders is Still the Best Film Depicting Card Games

Posted by James Guill of PokerListings on Thursday, May 16, 2013,
Rounders



Directed By: John Dahl

Starring: Matt Damon, Edward Norton, John Turturro, Famke Janssen, Gretchen Mol, John Malkovich, and Martin Landau

When the 1998 film Rounders was first released, fans of the game of poker hailed it for being one of the most realistic portrayals of poker in cinema history.  Since the film's release, the game of Texas Hold'em has exploded and is now the most popular form of poker in the world.  In the 15 years that has followed, several filmmakers have tried to imi...

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REVIEW: The Hangover – Not You Fat Jesus, Slide It On Back

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Tuesday, May 14, 2013, In : 0.00% Water 
The Hangover
SoberFilmChick




Directed by: Todd Phillips

Starring:  Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Ken Jeong, Justin Bartha, Heather Graham, and Jeffrey Tambor

What do tigers dream of when they take their little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit? Don't you worry your pretty striped head, we're gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed. And then we're gonna find our best friend Doug, and then we're gonna give him a best frien...


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REVIEW: Brian & Roman Are Definitely Hungry in 2 Fast 2 Furious, But Their Pockets Ain't Empty

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 4, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
2 Fast 2 Furious





Directed By: John Singleton


Starring: Paul Walker, Tyrese, Eva Mendes, Cole Hauser, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Thom Barry, and James Remar

While The Fast and the Furious was just a good racing movie, it made more than its fair share of cheddar.  That's why it's no surprise that studio execs had its sequel 2 Fast 2 Furious in cinemas in just two short years.  They were hungry for some more easy money.  That being said, the curious thing about this second installment in the franchi...

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REVIEW: In Superman III, Richard Prior Happens to Be a Computer Genius. Seriously???

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 4, 2013, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Superman III





Directed By: Richard Lester

Starring: Christopher Reeve, Richard Pryor, Jackie Cooper, Marc McClure, Annette O'Toole, Annie Ross, Pamela Stephenson, Robert Vaughn, and Margot Kidder

We've come to the point in this Superman retro series where I have to deliver some harsh truths.  First and foremost, we haven't had a good Superman flick in over 30 years.  It saddens me to say that Superman II was the last great movie about our favorite Kryptonian donning red and blue tights.  Since th...

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REVIEW: Toretto and O'Conner May Be a Match Made in Hell, But They Sure are Fast and Furious Street Racers

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 21, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
The Fast and the Furious





Directed By: Rob Cohen


Starring: Paul Walker, Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster, Matt Schulze, Thom Barry, and Johnny Strong

“Ask any racer, any real racer. It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile; winning's winning.”

-Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel)

That's a quote I've taken to heart over the last twelve years.  Of course, I still always enjoy spanking an opponent, whether competing athletically, intellectually, or electronically.  In the end, ho...

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REVIEW: Scary Movie 4 Sucks. It Just Sucks...

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 13, 2013, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Scary Movie 4





Directed By: David Zucker

Starring: Anna Faris, Regina Hall, Craig Bierko, Bill Pullman, Anthony Anderson, Carmen Electra, Chris Elliott, Kevin Hart, Cloris Leachman, Michael Madsen, Phil McGraw, Leslie Nielsen, Shaquille O'Neal, and Molly Shannon


I will always regard Scary Movie 2 as one of the worst movies of all time, but Scary Movie 4 is not far behind it.  Spoofing The Grudge, The Village, and War of the Worlds, David Zucker shows that he’s great at limbo because his second ...

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REVIEW: Spoofing Signs and The Ring, Scary Movie 3 Makes It Clear That the Hood Has Always Got Your Back

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, April 11, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Scary Movie 3





Directed By: David Zucker

Starring: Anna Faris, Simon Rex, Charlie Sheen, Leslie Nielsen, Anthony Anderson, Kevin Hart, Camryn Manheim, George Carlin, Pamela Anderson, Jenny McCarthy, Drew Mikuska, Jianna Ballard, Denise Richards, and Regina Hall

It suffices to say that I don't have a whole lot of love for the Scary Movie franchise.  Who can blame me though?  I think of Cindy, Brenda, Shorty, and Ray, and I remember some of the most nightmarishly awful cinematic experiences of my l...

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REVIEW: Win Win is So-So

Posted by Zach Davis on Tuesday, April 9, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Win Win
Zach Davis




Directed by: Thomas McCarthy


Starring: Paul Giamatti, Amy Ryan, Alex Shaffer, Bobby Cannavale, Jeffrey Tambor, Burt Young, and Melanie Lynskey

I’m a fan of Thomas McCarthy’s two previous works, The Visitor and The Station Agent, but Win Win just doesn't work for me.  McCarthy is much more a writer than a director.  He relies heavily on original down-to-earth characters in most of his films, and this is exactly what Win Win sorely lacks.  The characters are all disingenuous....

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REVIEW: The Survivors of the Stevenson County Massacre Offer Up an Oversexed and Underdeveloped Sequel in Scary Movie 2

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 30, 2013, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Scary Movie 2





Directed By: Keenen Ivory Wayans

Starring: Anna Faris, Regina Hall, Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Chris Masterson, Kathleen Robertson, David Cross, James Woods, Tim Curry, Tori Spelling, and Chris Elliott

The original Scary Movie started something that is sadly still not finished.  The original filmmakers certainly lied when they said that there would be no sequels.  The fact that Scary Movie 5 is upon us speaks volumes about how wrong that statement unfortunately was.  We've been p...

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REVIEW: Nanomites and All, Duke and Ripcord Don't Rise to the Occasion in G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, March 17, 2013, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra





Directed By: Stephen Sommers


Starring: Channing Tatum, Sienna Miller, Christopher Eccleston, Marlon Wayans, Rachel Nichols, Dennis Quaid, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ray Park, Lee Byung-hun, and Jonathan Pryce


In recent years, toy maker Hasbro has been intent upon getting all its major product lines on the big screen.  Transformers certainly made sense and has paid big dividends for them (despite declining quality throughout the series).  Battleshi...

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REVIEW: Superman II Is All About the Man of Steel Kneeling Before Zod and Finding Some Freshly Squeezed Orange Juice

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, March 7, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Superman II





Directed By: Richard Lester

Starring: Christopher Reeve, Margot Kidder, Gene Hackman, Ned Beatty, Jackie Cooper, Sarah Douglas, Jack O'Halloran, Valerie Perrine, Susannah York, Clifton James, E.G. Marshall, Mark McClure, and Terence Stamp

Superman is rarely given a physical challenge.  Because the yellow sun of our galaxy makes him the closest thing to immortal, there are very few who can really go toe-to-toe with him.  Because of this, it's a special treat whenever the Man of Steel ...

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REVIEW: Top Gun — No Points for Second Place at This Fighter Weapons School

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 24, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Top Gun





Directed By: Tony Scott

Starring: Tom Cruise, Kelly McGillis, Val Kilmer, Anthony Edwards, Tom Skerritt, Michael Ironside, Meg Ryan, Rick Rossovich, Whip Hubley, and James Tolkan

Last year, we lost a fine director by the name of Tony Scott.  With films like Enemy of the State, Crimson Tide, and Man on Fire to his name, it's time we revisit some of his films.  With Top Gun being recently re-released to theaters in IMAX 3D, there's no time like the present to cover it.  This quintessential...

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REVIEW: With No Mercy and Definitely No Shame, Scary Movie Tackles 90's Horror Flicks

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 24, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Scary Movie





Directed By: Keenen Ivory Wayans

Starring: Anna Faris, Regina Hall, Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Shannon Elizabeth, Jon Abrahams, Kurt Fuller, Carmen Electra, Lochlyn Munro, Cheri Oteri, and Dave Sheridan

Spoof movies have never been world-class entertainment, but they've descended to new lows in recent years.  I look at a movie like Paranormal Activity spoof A Haunted House and wonder just what the hell happened.  When did they get so bad?  There was a time when the low-brow humor o...

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REVIEW: SPECTRE Lets the Siamese Fighting Fish Duke It Out in the Cold War Themed From Russia With Love

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, February 19, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
From Russia With Love






Directed By: Terence Young


Starring: Sean Connery, Daniela Bianchi, Lotte Lenya, Robert Shaw, and Pedro Armendáriz


With last year marking the 50th anniversary for the Bond series as a whole, there's a lot of love for the world's favorite British spy.  If the win for billion dollar blockbuster Skyfall at the BAFTAs proves anything, it proves that 007 is still a hot commodity.  With this in mind, we're going to keep this Bond retro series going on STMR.  This month's film is...

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REVIEW: Jurassic Park Gets My Endorsement Because Life Finds a Way

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 10, 2013, In : 0.00% Water 

Jurassic Park





Directed By: Steven Spielberg

Starring: Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough, Bob Peck, Martin Ferrero, BD Wong, Samuel L. Jackson, Wayne Knight, Joseph Mazzello, and Ariana Richards

"Dinosaurs and man, two species separated by 65 million years of evolution have just been suddenly thrown back into the mix together. How can we possibly have the slightest idea what to expect?"
-Dr. Alan Grant (Sam Neill)

I can't believe that it's been two decades since Juras...


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REVIEW: In Live Free or Die Hard, the Fire Sale Pushes Bruce Willis to Once Again Be That Guy

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 3, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

Live Free or Die Hard





Directed By: Len Wiseman

Starring: Bruce Willis, Justin Long, Timothy Olyphant, Jonathan Sadowski, Maggie Q, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Kevin Smith, and Cliff Curtis

"It's a three-step systematic attack on the entire national infrastructure.  Okay, step one: take out all the transportation.  Step two: the financial base and telecoms.  Step three: You get rid of all the utilities.  Gas, water, electric, nuclear.  Pretty much anything that's run by computers which... which ...


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REVIEW: In Die Hard: With a Vengeance, Simon Says Two Pigeons Hold Fort Knox Down

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, January 27, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

Die Hard: With a Vengeance





Directed By: John McTiernan

Starring: Bruce Willis, Jeremy Irons, Samuel L. Jackson, Larry Bryggman, Graham Greene, and Colleen Camp

The first two Die Hard movies were all about Bruce Willis going up against all odds to defeat formidable criminals reigning terror down on his wife and other innocent victims.  While the first Die Hard perfected this formula, I can't say the same for the second one.  When Die Hard: With a Vengeance was in the works, the life and times...


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REVIEW: In Die Hard 2, John McClane is the Wrong Guy in the Wrong Place at the Wrong Time All Over Again

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 26, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 

Die Hard 2





Directed By: Renny Harlin

Starring: Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Art Evans, Dennis Franz, Reginald VelJohnson, and John Amos

What are the chances that the same thing would happen to the same guy twice?  That's the question we end up asking ourselves in Renny Harlin's Die Hard 2, the follow-up to the 1988 smash hit starring a young Bruce Willis.  While this sounds awesome on paper, I wish the same guy would have directed the film.  As you may know, Die Hard directo...


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REVIEW: With the Man of Steel and the Greatest Criminal Mind of Our Time, Superman Heralds the Birth of Comic Book Moves in a Grand Way

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, January 10, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

Superman: The Movie





Directed By: Richard Donner

Starring: Marlon Brando, Gene Hackman, Christopher Reeve, Margot Kidder, Glenn Ford, Phyllis Thaxter, Jackie Cooper, Mark McClure, Valerie Perrine, and Ned Beatty

"You will travel far, my little Kal-El.  But we will never leave you... even in the face of our death.  The richness of our lives shall be yours.  All that I have, all that I've learned, everything I feel... all this, and more, I... I bequeath you, my son.  You will carry me inside yo...


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REVIEW: In Die Hard, Roy Rogers and Some Not-So-Common Thieves Tear Nakatomi Plaza to Shreds

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, January 10, 2013, In : 0.00% Water 

Die Hard





Directed By: John McTiernan

Starring: Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman, Alexander Godunov, Bonnie Bedalia, Reginald VelJohnson, and Paul Gleason

"Yippee kai yay, motherfucker!".  It's hard to believe that it's been a quarter century since a young Bruce Willis uttered these words to Alan Rickman and forever changed the face of action movies.  These aren't just the words of some older generation of cowboy, gun-loving Americans.  These are the words that symbolize an entire generation of act...


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REVIEW: Love Sucks. So Does St. Elmo's Fire.

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 5, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails 

St. Elmo's Fire





Directed By: Joel Schumacher

Starring: Emilio Estevez, Rob Lowe, Andrew McCarthy, Demi Moore, Judd Nelson, Ally Sheedy, and Mare Winningham

"[T]his isn't real. You know what it is? It's St. Elmo's Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them... there was no fire. There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep them going whe...


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GUEST REVIEW: Commando

Posted by Zack Mandell on Thursday, January 3, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 

Commando





Directed By: Mark L. Lester

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rae Dawn Chong, Alyssa Milano, James Olson, Dan Hedaya, Vernon Wells, Bill Duke, and David Patrick Kelly

The end of the Cold War was still six years away; dictators were common villains, and the moviegoers of the freedom-loving United States were absolutely enamored with action movies.  It was 1985 and Arnold Schwarzenegger was at the top of his game.

With The Last Stand set to open this January, and Schwarzenegger playing...


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REVIEW: In Sixteen Candles, There's Nothing Sweet About Sam's Sixteenth Birthday

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, January 3, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

Sixteen Candles





Directed By: John Hughes

Starring: Molly Ringwald, Paul Dooley, Justin Henry, and Anthony Michael Hall

There's nothing quite like an 80’s teen flick, especially one directed by the late great John Hughes.  His coming-of-age comedies are timeless depictions of what it means to be a teenager — the personal stresses, the social anxieties, and the constant feeling of being misunderstood.  They also capture the good stuff — the crazy nights at some friend's house, those fun ...


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REVIEW: In Star Trek, Red Matter Makes the Death Star Look a Little Old School

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, January 2, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

Star Trek





Directed By: J. J. Abrams

Starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Leonard Nimoy, Karl Urban, Zoe Saldana, Simon Pegg, John Cho, Anton Yelchin, Eric Bana, and Bruce Greenwood

I've never been a Trekkie, but it’s impossible to avoid Star Trek.  With all the shows and the movies over the years, Star Trek has been done to death.  I've seen enough of Captan Kirk and Spock for a lifetime, or at least I thought so.  When J. J. Abrams announced that he would be tackling a new installment in...


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REVIEW: The Hewitt Family Unleashes Their Special Boy Leatherface in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, January 2, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 

The Texas Chainsaw  Massacre





Directed By: Marcus Nispel

Starring: Jessica Biel, Jonathan Tucker, Erica Leerhsen, Mike Vogel, Eric Balfour, and R. Lee Ermey

In the history of slasher movies, there are only a handful of iconic murderers — Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, Michael Myers, and Leatherface.  Each has left their own indelible scar on the genre and a bloody trail of victims on the big screen.  I have love for each of them, but Leatherfsce stands out as one of the most talented slash...


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REVIEW: Kill Bill: Volume 2 – Superman Dressed As Clark Kent

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Monday, December 24, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

Kill Bill: Volume 2
SoberFilmChick




Directed by: Quentin Tarantino

Starring:  Uma Thurman, David Carradine, Lucy Liu, Vivica A. Fox, Daryl Hannah, Michael Madsen, Gordon Liu

"[T]here are consequences for breaking the heart of a murderous bastard."
–Bill (David Carradine)

We continue our retro review series of the films of Quentin Tarantino with a look back at the 2004 film, Kill Bill: Volume 2.  In Volume 1, we saw the pregnant Bride a.k.a Black Mamba (Uma Thurman) gunned down by her former...


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REVIEW: With a License to Kill, 007 Gets Down to Business with Dr. No on Crab Key Island

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, December 19, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

Dr. No





Directed By: Terence Young

Starring: Sean Connery, Joseph Wiseman, Ursula Andress, Jack Lord, and John Kitzmiller

It's hard to believe that James Bond has been around for half a century.  In that time, we've seen a number of British badasses rock tuxedos and sip martinis that are shaken, not stirred.  We've seen the classic cars.  We've seen the gorgeous Bond girls.  We've seen the iconic villains.  In honor of the 50th anniversary of Bond, it's time to go back to basics and revisit t...


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REVIEW: Kill Bill: Volume 1 – Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Wednesday, December 19, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 

Kill Bill: Volume 1
SoberFilmChick




Directed by: Quentin Tarantino

Starring:  Uma Thurman, David Carradine, Lucy Liu, Vivica A. Fox, Daryl Hannah, Michael Madsen

We continue our retro review series of the films of Quentin Tarantino with a look back at Kill Bill: Volume 1.  I have to confess Kill Bill is one of my all time favorite films.  When it first debuted in 2003, I watched it on a Friday night and went right back to the theater on Saturday for a second viewing.  Kill Bill is an action-pa...


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REVIEW: With Knocked Up, Judd Apatow Blames the Hormones for All Pregnancy-Related Issues

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, December 16, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

Knocked Up





Directed By: Judd Apatow

Starring: Seth Rogen, Katherine Heigl, Paul Rudd, Leslie Mann, Jay Baruchel, Jonah Hill, Charlyne Yi, Jason Segel, and Martin Starr

It's hard to believe that it's been five and a half years since Knocked Up hit theaters.  It's the quintessential pregnancy movie and one damn funny comedy.  It's also one of the few good movies starring Katherine Heigl.  It's even harder to believe that Judd Appatow has decided to release a spinoff sequel, the upcoming comedy...


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REVIEW: In The Return of the King, the Pity of Bilbo Does Indeed Rule the Fate of Many

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, December 9, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (Extended Edition)





Directed By: Peter Jackson

Starring: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Sean Astin, Andy Serkis, Viggo Mortensen, Dominic Monaghan, Billy Boyd, John Rhys-Davies, Orlando Bloom, and Liv Tyler

The third installment in a trilogy is rarely the best because filmmakers are always trapped by the conventions of a trilogy.  They're trying to conclude the story and simultaneously outdo themselves.  Just look to Return of the Jedi, The Godfather:...


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REVIEW: The Union of Isengard and Mordor Spells Doom for the World of Men in The Two Towers

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, December 5, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (Extended Edition)





Directed By: Peter Jackson

Starring: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Sean Astin, Viggo Mortensen, Andy Serkis, Liv Tyler, Cate Blanchett, John Rhys-Davies, Orlando Bloom, Bernard Hill, Christopher Lee, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, Hugo Weaving, Miranda Otto, Karl Urban, David Wenham, Brad Dourif, Sala Baker, and Sean Bean

When the journey began with The Fellowship of the Ring, Peter Jackson began introducing the world to his extravagant vi...


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REVIEW: It's a Dangerous Business Going Out Your Door, and The Fellowship of the Ring Does Nothing But Prove This

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, December 5, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (Extended Edition)





Directed By: Peter Jackson

Starring: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen, Sean Astin, Orlando Bloom, Liv Tyler, John Rhys-Davies, Sean Bean, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, Cate Blanchett, Christopher Lee, Hugo Weaving, and Ian Holm

"One ring to rule them all.  One ring to find them.  One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them."
-Gandalf (Ian McKellen)

In the world of movies, there is no finer trilogy tha...


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REVIEW: Reservoir Dogs – Twenty Years Later And It's Still Like A Virgin

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Tuesday, December 4, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

Reservoir Dogs
SoberFilmChick




Directed by: Quentin Tarantino

Starring:  Harvey Keitel, Michael Madsen, Tim Roth, Steve Buscemi, Chris Penn, Quentin Tarantino

As part of STMR’s Retro Review Series on the films of Quentin Tarantino, this week we turn our attention to Reservoir Dogs.  Released in 1992, the cult film is coming up on its 20th anniversary.  After watching the film recently, I must say it still stands the test of time after twenty years.

Reservoir Dogs is the story of a diamond he...


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REVIEW: Pulp Fiction – A Royale With Cheese

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, November 24, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 

Pulp Fiction
SoberFilmChick


Directed by: Quentin Tarantino

Starring:  John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson, Uma Thurman, Ving Rhames, Bruce Willis, Harvey Keitel

In honor of Quentin Tarantino’s upcoming film Django Unchained, STMR is doing a retro review series covering Tarantino films.  We are kicking off the series with a review of Tarantino’s classic Pulp Fiction.   We know that is out of chronological order for his films, but we could not resist.  Pulp Fiction stands as one of the fin...


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REVIEW: The Cold Ones and the Spirit Warriors Leave a Lot to Be Desired. Nobody Will Imprint on Eclipse

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, November 15, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse





Directed By: David Slade

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Bryce Dallas Howard, Billy Burke, and Dakota Fanning

Watching a Twilight sequel is like watching a game of limbo.  As the acting, writing, and directing continue to spiral downward, it's all about how low these teen movies can go.  I have to give it to our trio of stars on their limbo skills.  Every time I think, they can't go any lower, they somehow manage to make the romance a l...


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REVIEW: In New Moon, the Hole in Bella's Chest is Unpoetic and Uninspiring Altogether

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, November 13, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 

The Twilight Saga: New Moon





Directed By: Chris Weitz

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Ashley Greene, Rachelle Lefevre, Billy Burke, Michael Sheen, and Dakota Fanning

"Sometimes you've gotta learn to love what's good for you."
-Charlie Swan (Billy Burke)

That's the wisest thing I've ever heard out of a Twilight movie.  More often than not, however, many of us still love what's not good for us.  Take the Twilight films for example.  They're full of horrendous acting...


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REVIEW: Vampire Baseball Games?! Soap Opera Teen Romances?! Twilight Perverts the Vampire Movie Tradition

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, November 13, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 

Twilight





Directed By: Catherine Hardwicke

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Billy Burke, and Peter Facinelli

You all know by now that I'm no huge Twilight fan.  I've made this clear time and time again in countless reviews.  That being said, the series will be concluding this month in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 2.  The torture is almost over!  Out of what little respect I have for the franchise, I've decided to revisit the Twilight films.  With this in mind, there's no...


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REVIEW: Quantum of Solace is No Casino Royale

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, November 7, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 

Quantum of Solace





Directed By: Marc Forster

Starring: Daniel Craig, Olga Kurylenko, Mathieu Amalric, Gemma Arterton, Judi Dench, Jeffrey Wright, and Giancarlo Giannini

Casino Royale set a new high standard for the modern James Bond.  Because of this, the expectations for Quantum of Solace, the 22nd 007 flick, were through the roof.  Moviegoers expected lightning to strike twice in the same place.  Unfortunately, this was not meant to be.  With Martin Campbell no longer at the helm, Marc Fors...


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REVIEW: Casino Royale Gambles on a Brand New Badass 007 in Daniel Craig

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, November 7, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 

Casino Royale





Directed By: Martin Campbell

Starring: Daniel Craig, Eva Green, Mads Mikkelsen, Judi Dench, and Jeffrey Wright

This year marks the 50th anniversary of the on-screen debut of beloved British spy James Bond.  If you didn't know that by now, I'd be genuinely surprised.  Current Bond Daniel Craig opened up the 2012 Olympics with Queen Elizabeth several months ago.  There's been a blitz of advertising themed around 007 this year.  Ultimately, all this exposure and fanfare will culmi...


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REVIEW: The Breakfast Club Brings Together a Brain, an Athlete, a Basket Case, a Princess, and a Criminal for the Best Detention Ever

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, October 30, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 

The Breakfast Club





Directed By: John Hughes

Starring: Emilio Estevez, Molly Ringwald, Judd Nelson, Anthony Michael Hall, Ally Sheedy, and Paul Gleason

"Don't mess with the bull young man.  You'll get the horns."
-Assistant Principal Richard Vernon (Paul Gleason)

The Breakfast Club has been resurrected as of late.  I've seen it on cable quite a bit.  It's just been released on Blu-ray.  It got some serious love in the recent comedy Pitch Perfect.  It has even been invoked as a comparison poin...


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REVIEW: The Equation Balances Itself Out, and the Wachowskis Find Perfection in The Matrix Revolutions

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, October 21, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 

The Matrix Revolutions





Directed By: Andy Wachowski and Larry Wachowski

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving, Jada Pinkett Smith, Harry J. Lennix, and Harold Perrineau

“Everything that has a beginning has an end.  I see the end coming, I see the darkness spreading.  I see death.”
-The Oracle (Mary Alice)

The third chapter in a trilogy is often trapped by the inconveniences of being the final chapter.  At the end of the movie, everything has to come to...


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REVIEW: The Wachowskis Make All the Right Choices. Therefore, The Matrix Reloaded Awesome. Cause and Effect…

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, October 20, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

The Matrix Reloaded





Directed By: Andy Wachowski and Larry Wachowski

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving, Harold Perrineau, Randall Duk Kim, and Jada Pinkett Smith

After the massive success of The Matrix, the Wachowskis certainly had the unenviable task of writing the next chapter of this storied sci-fi franchise.  It took them four years, but they came out with The Matrix Reloaded in 2003 (followed by The Matrix Revolutions later that same year).  Like ...


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REVIEW: What is the Matrix? One Damn Good Movie That Shows Us How Deep the Rabbit Hole Goes

Posted by James Brown on Monday, October 15, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 

The Matrix





Directed By: Andy Wachowski and Larry Wachowski

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving, and Joe Pantoliano

How many movies have you seen where a director uses slow motion to emphasize big moments in action sequences?  How many times have you seen fools nearly break their necks trying to lean back as much as possible while dancing or horsing around?  How many times has someone asked you to take the red or the blue pill?  You can thank The Matrix ...


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REVIEW: While Love and Fame Can't Live in the Same Place, Country Music and Liquor Can in Country Strong

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 30, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 

Country Strong





Directed By: Shana Feste

Starring: Gwyneth Paltrow, Tim McGraw, Garrett Hedlund, and Leighton Meester

I'm definitely not the world's biggest country music fan.  In fact, I don't even know who today's top country singers are, and I can't name a famous country song off the top of my head.  I'm simply not that interested in the genre.  However, this doesn't mean that I can't appreciate a good tune or even watch a movie about the country music industry.  What I do know is how to r...


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GUEST REVIEW: Caché

Posted by Zack Mandell on Tuesday, September 18, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 

Caché





Directed By: Michael Haneke

Starring: Juliette Binoche, Daniel Auteuil, and Maurice Bénichou

Zack Mandell is a movie enthusiast and owner of www.movieroomreviews.com and writer of movie reviews.  He writes extensively about the movie industry for sites such as Gossip Center, Yahoo, NowPublic and Helium.

We live in an era hooked on voyeurism.  The major American television networks, which once thrived on scripted shows, have slowly transformed into purveyors of “reality” shows, s...


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REVIEW: Watchmen Successfully Brings the Frames of a Comic Book to Life

Posted by Zach Davis on Tuesday, September 18, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 

Watchmen
Zach Davis




Directed By: Zack Snyder

Starring: Malin Akerman, Billy Crudup, Matthew Goode, Carla Gugino, Jackie Earle Haley, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, and Patrick Wilson

I have to start by addressing the end of Watchmen as it takes a huge left turn from the end of the graphic novel.  To many, this was considered heresy, but I think it did the film justice more so than sticking with the original material would have.  Without spoiling the movie, the ending chosen by director Zack Snyder and ...


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REVIEW: The Bodyguard is a Bad Mix of Business and Pleasure

Posted by James Brown on Monday, September 17, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 

The Bodyguard





Directed By: Mick Jackson

Starring: Kevin Costner, Whitney Houston, Gary Kemp, and Bill Cobbs

Earlier this year, we lost the renowned Whitney Houston.  We lost a music icon who embodied an era of pop music.  We lost a world-class singer who also dabbled in acting from time to time.  We lost a legend.  With that in mind, it's important to revisit her filmography as well as her discography.  While she currently stars in the film Sparkle, she will be remembered most as an actress ...


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REVIEW: Who Is Salt? One Kickass Chick in a Mediocre Flick

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 16, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 

Salt





Directed By: Philip Noyce

Starring: Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Daniel Olbrychski, and August Diehl

Angelina Jolie has really built a versatile career as an actress and filmmaker.  While she can hold her own in dramatic roles in films like A Mighty Heart and Changeling, she can also kick some asses in films like Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Wanted.  To top things off, she established herself as a burgeoning director with In the Land of Blood and Honey earlier this year. ...


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REVIEW: It's All About the Closers and Their Leads in Glengarry Glen Ross

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 16, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 

Glengarry Glen Ross





Directed By: James Foley

Starring: Al Pacino, Jack Lemmon, Alec Baldwin, Ed Harris, Alan Arkin, Kevin Spacey, and Jonathan Pryce

"You never open your mouth until you know what the shot is."
-Ricky Roma (Al Pacino)

The gift of gab is a rare treasure, one that even few movie stars have.  For the most part, the all-time greats are the only ones with this gift.    They're those actors who can have monologues that go on and on, and yet we don't want them to stop.  You may thin...


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REVIEW: Good Luck Negotiating with Bryan Mills in Taken. That's One Badass Dude

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 16, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

Taken





Directed By: Pierre Morel

Starring: Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace, Leland Orser, Jon Gries, David Warshofsky, Katie Cassidy, Holly Valance, and Famke Janssen

"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I...


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REVIEW: The Usual Suspects is an Unusually Great Crime Thriller

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, August 28, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
The Usual Suspects





Directed By: Bryan Singer

Starring: Stephen Baldwin, Gabriel Byrne, Benicio Del Toro, Chazz Palminteri, Kevin Pollak, Pete Postlethwaite, and Kevin Spacey

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled is convincing the world that he didn't exist.  And like that, poof.  He's gone."
-Verbal Kint (Kevin Spacey)


There's a thin line between genius and insanity, and criminal masterminds flirt with it all the time.  The stories, schemes, and crimes they concoct are things that could only b...
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REVIEW: The Godfather Is Gonna Make You An Offer You Can't Refuse...For One Great Movie

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, August 23, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
The Godfather





Directed By: Francis Ford Coppola

Starring: Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, James Caan, Richard S. Castellano, Robert Duvall, Sterling Hayden, John Cazale, and Diane Keaton

"Bonasera, Bonasera, what have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? If you'd come to me in friendship, this scum who ruined your daughter would be suffering this very day. And if by some chance an honest man like yourself made enemies they would become my enemies. And then, they would fear you. "
-Don V...
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REVIEW: Hanging Up...Throw That One Back

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, August 9, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Hanging Up





Directed By: Diane Keaton

Starring: Meg Ryan, Diane Keaton, Lisa Kudrow, Walter Matthau, Adam Arkin, Ann Bortolotti, and Cloris Leachman

Sometimes a movie is so fluffy that I wish it was never made.  I wish that Hollywood had never given the filmmakers a green light to make it, and I wish that I never decided to torture myself by watching it.  This is exactly how I feel about the comedy-drama Hanging Up.  Based on Delia Ephron's book of the same name, Hanging Up is a movie that just n...
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REVIEW: The Skin I Live In Is Absolutely Disgusting, But That's the Point of It All

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, August 8, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
The Skin I Live In (La Piel Que Habito)





Directed By: Pedro Almodóvar

Starring: Antonio Banderas, Elena Anaya, Marisa Paredes, Jan Cornet, and Roberto Álamo

Every once in a while, there's a movie that just disgusts me.  It absolutely disgusts me and leaves a lump in my stomach.  This doesn't happen too often.  When I do see a movie like this, I know it will unfortunately be etched in my memory for quite some time.  This is what happened when I recently sat down to watch Pedro Almodóvar's The S...
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REVIEW: A Pie May Not Solve All of Life's Problems, But It Does Offer Sweet, Delicious Payback for Minny in The Help

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, August 8, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
The Help





Directed By: Tate Taylor
 
Starring: Emma Stone, Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer, Bryce Dallas Howard, Allison Janney, and Jessica Chastain
 
At STMR, I try and cover the latest and greatest to hit theaters.  Every once in a while, however, a film slips through the cracks.  Normally, it's just because of other higher priority films.  Typically, it's some awful horror film or thriller that gets the boot.  It's the film for which the trailer can't hide how much it will suck.  In the case of Th...
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REVIEW: Machete Don't Text, But He Does Open Up a Serious Can of Whoopass

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, August 1, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Machete





Directed By: Robert Rodriguez

Starring: Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Seagal, Lindsay Lohan, and Don Johnson

B movies can be good for the soul.  Every once in a while, it's good to see a flick with cheesy dialogue, ultra violence, and gratuitous sex.  While that sounds like most of the crap Hollywood puts out today, I'm talking about a special kind of film — not a movie that sucks because of these qualities but one that thrives on them.  I'm talk...
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REVIEW: If You Open Your Mind, Total Recall Can Rock Your World

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, July 25, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Total Recall





Directed By: Paul Verhoeven

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rachel Ticotin, Sharon Stone, Michael Ironside, and Ronny Cox

"You!  You're the same. No matter where you go, there you are.  It's always the same old you.  Let me suggest that you take a vacation from yourself.  I-I know it sounds wild.  It is the latest thing in travel.  We call it the Ego Trip."
-Bob McClane (Ray Baker)

Sometimes, your enjoyment of a movie depends completely on your ability to suspend your disbelief of th...
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REVIEW: Operation Blackbriar May Be a Failure for the CIA, But It's a Success for The Bourne Ultimatum

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, July 25, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
The Bourne Ultimatum





Directed By: Paul Greengrass

Starring: Matt Damon, Julia Stiles, David Strathairn, Scott Glenn, Paddy Considine, Édgar Ramirez, Albert Finney, and Joan Allen

2006 and 2007 were really great years for action movies in general.  We had Casino Royale, Mission: Impossible III, Live Free or Die Hard, and The Bourne Ultimatum all released in a little more than a year.  With all these films being released within a little more than a year of one another, it's needless to say that P...
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REVIEW: Jason Bourne Has to Beat the CIA at Its Own Game One More Time in The Bourne Supremacy. He Doesn't Have a Choice.

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, July 18, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
The Bourne Supremacy





Directed By: Paul Greengrass

Starring: Matt Damon, Brian Cox, Julia Stiles, Joan Allen, and Karl Urban

The Bourne Identity cemented Matt Damon's status as a viable action star.  Damon was no longer just a dramatic actor who could play genius janitors or fallen angels.  He was a badass spy who could handle himself.  By the time The Bourne Supremacy came rolling into theaters, we were ready for the next chapter in the Jason Bourne saga.  Happily, I can say that Matt Damon deli...
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REVIEW: The Malfunctioning $30 Million Weapon is Kicking Some Serious Ass in The Bourne Identity

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, July 17, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
The Bourne Identity





Directed By: Doug Liman

Starring: Matt Damon, Franka Potente, Chris Cooper, Clive Owen, Brian Cox, Julia Stiles, and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje

"You're worried about a budget meeting?  If we don't take care of this, we don't make it to the men's room.  We will burn for this.  We will both burn for this."
-Alexander Conklin (Chris Cooper)


In the world of spy movies, there are three guys who have burnt more baddies than anyone else — James Bond, Ethan Hunt, and Jason Bourne.  Th...
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REVIEW: Jack and Jill Went Up the Hill to Fetch a Pail of Crap

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, July 15, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Jack and Jill





Directed By: Dennis Dugan

Starring: Adam Sandler, Katie Holmes, and Al Pacino

Adam Sandler's career is a continuous downward spiral that baffles me.  After nearly a decade of constant crap, why is this guy still making movies?  Better yet, why are his films still making money as loyal fans continue to waste their money on the latest and tasteless?  Why do big name stars continue to make appearances in his flicks?  All these questions perplex me because Sandler has not been at his c...
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REVIEW: Step Up 3D Adds a New Dimension to Crappy Filmmaking

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, July 14, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Step Up 3D





Directed By: Jon Chu

Starring: Rick Malambri, Adam Sevani, Sharni Vinson, and Alyson Stoner

"I dance because dance can change things.  One move can set a whole generation free like Elvis.  One move can make you believe like there's something more...and some moves can give a skinny, curly-haired kid, that just wants to dance, some hope."
-Moose (Adam Sevani)


Dance may give Moose hope, but I've lost all hope for the Step Up franchise. As I continue this retro series, director Jon Chu keep...
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REVIEW: Step Up 2 Takes It to the Streets As It Takes the Series to New Lows

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, July 14, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Step Up 2: The Streets





Directed By: Jon Chu

Starring: Briana Evigan, Robert Hoffman, Adam G. Sevani, Will Kemp, and Cassie

Bad movies making money breed more bad movies.  When I heard of Step Up 2: The Streets, I was less than enthused to say the least.  After all, Step Up was nothing more than a mediocre flick.  What good could come of another one of these pointless dance movies?  After having revisited Step Up 2, I've been reminded that I was right.  On the one positive note, the dancing in St...
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REVIEW: Step Up Needs to Find Its Groove

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, July 10, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Step Up





Directed By: Anne Fletcher and Mico Heltborg

Starring: Channing Tatum, Jenna Dewan, Mario, Drew Sidora, Alyson Stoner, Rachel Griffiths, and Josh Henderson

Every time I begin to wonder why Hollywood keeps shoveling crap into theaters, I'm reminded that we keep buying it for some strange reason.  I can think of no better example than the Step Up movies.  By any measure, these films suck, but people keep buying tickets to see them for whatever reason.  Ultimately, our lack of good taste a...
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REVIEW: Jane Eyre May Be a Freeborn Spirit, But She Has One Messed Up Love Life

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, July 8, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Jane Eyre





Directed By: Cary Joji Fukunaga

Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Michael Fassbender, Judi Dench, and Jamie Bell

There are always films that slip through the cracks that even I don't get the chance to catch while they're in theaters.  There are so many hidden gems out there, and it's my mission to catch them all with a drink in hand.  That's why retro reviews are so important to STMR.  2011 was a big year for a lot of young actors, namely Ryan Gosling, Jessica Chastain, and Michael Fassbender....
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REVIEW: For Your Voices, Coriolanus Has Done Many Things, Namely Kicking Ass and Taking Names

Posted by James Brown on Friday, July 6, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Coriolanus





Directed By: Ralph Fiennes

Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Gerard Butler, Vanessa Redgrave, Brian Cox, Jessica Chastain, and Paul Jesson

It's hard to jazz up Shakespeare these days.  After a good 400 years, there aren't too many new ways you can bring his works to life unless you're donning a cape and hammer like Marvel's Thor.  Aside from my cheap references to The Avengers, Shakespeare's works have been done to death both on stage and on screen.  It's rare that someone breaks new ground wi...
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REVIEW: Woody Allen's Vicky Cristina Barcelona Shows Us Just How Romantic the Count City Can Be

Posted by James Brown on Friday, July 6, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Vicky Cristina Barcelona





Directed By: Woody Allen

Starring: Javier Bardem, Penélope Cruz, Scarlett Johansson, Rebecca Hall, Patricia Clarkson, Kevin Dunn, and Chris Messina

Woody Allen manufactures movies.  He keeps putting out at least one new movie year after year and has been doing this for decades.  As any manufacturer knows, quality control is absolutely critical to putting out a good product. Over the years, one could argue that Woody Allen has had some issues with this critical item.  Ev...
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REVIEW: Get Lost Bub. That's All Vera Farmiga Has to Say to the Devil in Higher Ground

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, July 3, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Higher Ground





Directed By: Vera Farmiga

Starring: Vera Farmiga, Donna Murphy, John Hawkes, Nina Arianda, Dagmara Dominczyk, Bill Irwin, Joshua Leonard, Ebon-Moss Bachrach, and Taissa Varmiga

It's got to be really hard to direct and act in the same film, especially if the individual is the star of a film.  As an actor, I can imagine that a person would be used to direction from someone else other than himself.  As a director, there's probably no time whatsoever to get behind the camera.  The dual...
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REVIEW: Nora Ephron Flirts with the Fantasy of True Love in Sleepless in Seattle

Posted by James Brown on Friday, June 29, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Sleepless in Seattle





Directed By: Nora Ephron

Starring: Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Bill Pullman, Ross Malinger, Rosie O'Donnell, Rob Reiner, and David Hyde Pierce

The legendary Nora Ephron passed away earlier this week.  She was truly an innovator who helped mold the romantic comedy genre into what it is today.  I can think of no better way to honor her legacy than to revisit her filmography and knock back a few drinks in the process.  Given that 2013 will mark the 20th anniversary of Sleepless in Sea...
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REVIEW: The Wise Guys Live It Up Like Movie Stars in Goodfellas

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, June 27, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Goodfellas





Directed By: Martin Scorsese

Starring: Ray Liotta, Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci, Lorraine Bracco, and Paul Sorvino

"As far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a gangster."
-Henry Hill (Ray Liotta)


After The Godfather was released in 1972, mob films were never the same.  It was the film that made gangsters cool.  There were the Corleones, and then there was everybody else.  With the exception of The Godfather: Part II, no mob film could ever measure up to the greatness of Franc...
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REVIEW: Spider-Man 3 Is Just Too Much. It's Just Too Much

Posted by James Brown on Friday, June 22, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Spider-Man 3





Directed By: Sam Raimi
 
Starring: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Thomas Haden Church, Topher Grace, Bryce Dallas Howard, Rosemary Harris, and J.K. Simmons
 
The bar was set high for Sam Raimi after the towering successes of Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2, two of the greatest comic book movies of all time.  How do you come up with a story and a film great enough to at least match its predecessors?  Admittedly, it's a daunting task for any director.  In trying to outdo himsel...
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REVIEW: The Courageous, Self-Sacrificing Peter Parker Sets an Example For Us All in Spider-Man 2

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, June 21, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Spider-Man 2





Directed By: Sam Raimi

Starring: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Alfred Molina, Rosemary Harris, J.K. Simmons, Daniel Gillies, and Dylan Baker

"Sometimes we have to be steady and give up the thing we want the most, even our dreams."
-Aunt May (Rosemary Harris)


With the commercial and critical success of Spider-Man, a sequel was inevitable.  Hollywood was undoubtedly going to keep this cash cow alive.  The only problem was that they had to follow up one of the greatest comi...
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REVIEW: Aliens Vs. Predator: Requiem Launches an Assault on Good Taste in Movies

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, June 21, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Aliens Vs. Predator: Requiem (AVPR)





Directed By: Colin Strause and Greg Strause

Starring: Steven Pasquale, Reiko Aylesworth, and John Ortiz

It's always terrible to see a bad movie making money.  When it does, you already know that Hollywood plans to shovel more of the same crap into theaters some time down the road.  After having raped both the Alien and the Predator franchises in the awful flick Alien Vs. Predator, Hollywood decided to have another round of this pointless conflict in Aliens Vs....
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REVIEW: Our Friendly Neighborhood Spidey Slings His Way to Greatness in Spider-Man

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, June 13, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Spider-Man





Directed By: Sam Raimi

Starring: Tobey Maguire, Willem Dafoe, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Cliff Roberts, Rosemary Harris, and J.K. Simmons

"In spite of everything you've done for them, eventually they will hate you."
-The Green Goblin (Willem Dafoe)

Superheroes do the impossible.  They are legendary men and women who do what the rest of us can't.  For this, we both love and hate them.  We put them on pedestals as gods among men.  At the same time, we label them as vigilantes and relent...
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REVIEW: Sanaa Lathan is a Predator's New Best Friend in AVP. Where's the Fear in That?

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, June 7, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Alien Vs. Predator





Directed By: Paul W. S. Anderson

Starring: Sanaa Lathan, Lance Henriksen, Raoul Bova, Ewen Bremner, and Colin Salmon

Crossover films are always hit or miss.  Bringing the main attractions from different franchises together is a very tricky matter.  They can't all be like Freddy Vs. Jason where Jason just comes to Freddy's killing grounds on Elm Street.  When confronting the concept of Alien Vs. Predator, writer-director Paul W. S. Anderson had a lot of work to do.  Given the f...
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REVIEW: Smarter Aliens and a Ripley Clone Can't Hide the Money-Hungry Desperation Fueling Alien Resurrection

Posted by James Brown on Friday, June 1, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Alien Resurrection





Directed By: Jean-Pierre Jeunet

Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Winona Ryder, Ron Perlman, Dominique Pinon, Gary Dourdan, Michael Wincott, Brad Dourif, Leland Orser, Dan Hedaya, J. E. Freeman, Kim Flowers, and Raymond Cruz

Sometimes it's abundantly clear when Hollywood is trying to make a quick buck.  There are some movies that are just so unnecessary that you're just left wondering why.  After Alien 3, who would've thought that another Alien film centering on the character of Ell...
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REVIEW: Alien 3 is Not a Scary Movie. The Bitch is Back For a Group Therapy Session

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, May 31, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Alien 3





Directed By: David Fincher

Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Charles S. Dutton, Charles Dance, Brian Glover, Ralph Brown, Paul McGann, Danny Webb, Pete Postlethwaite, Lance Henriksen, Leon Herbert, and Peter Guinness

The biggest problem plaguing the Alien franchise is that there is no central vision for the series.  There's nobody steering the ship aside from profit-oriented studio execs.  There's no director that has made more than a single installment in the franchise.  While this worked ear...
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REVIEW: The Colonial Marines Get Their Asses Handed to Them by Some Badass Extraterrestrials in James Cameron’s Aliens

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 26, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Aliens





Directed By: James Cameron

Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Carrie Henn, Michael Biehn, Lance Henriksen, William Hope, and Paul Reiser

The 1979 classic Alien was such a landmark film in the sci-fi genre that many imitators and copycats followed.  It took seven years for an official sequel to be released.  By then, 20th Century Fox had hired a new director, future king of the world James Cameron, to direct the movie.  After the success of the 1984 The Terminator, Cameron decided to take a diffe...
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REVIEW: Men in Black II — Needs Work Fellows, Needs Work

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Friday, May 25, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Men in Black II
SoberFilmChick




Directed By: Barry Sonnenfeld

Starring: Tommy Lee Jones, Will Smith, Lara Flynn Boyle, Johnny Knoxville, Rosario Dawson, Tony Shalhoub, Patrick Warburton, and Rip Torn

In part 2 of our retro review series on the Men in Black franchise, we turn to Men in Black II.  The original Men in Black film is a creative, smart science fiction comedy.  However, as I watched Men in Black II, all that came to mind was a line from the movie Lean on Me.  There is a scene in the film...
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REVIEW: Alien, a Perfect Organism for Fear and Death & One Tough S.O.B.

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, May 24, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Alien





Directed By: Ridley Scott

Starring: Tom Skerritt, Sigourney Weaver, Veronica Cartwright, Harry Dean Stanton, John Hurt, Ian Holm, and Yaphet Kotto


The 2012 summer movie season has shown us one thing.  People love some alien movies.  Aliens are part of most of the big blockbusters kicking off the summer.  Just think of flicks like The Avengers, Battleship, and Men in Black 3.  Badass extraterrestrials are in style.  There's one more alien flick coming out in June as well.  It goes by the na...
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REVIEW: In the Matter of Meryl Streep Vs. Goldie Hawn in Death Becomes Her, Nobody Wins

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, May 17, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Death Becomes Her





Directed By: Robert Zemeckis

Starring: Meryl Streep, Goldie Hawn, and Bruce Willis

Hollywood has always been obsessed with beauty, whether it's real or not.  That's why Los Angeles is the home of many, many plastic surgeons.  Though these surgeons are well paid, I would imagine they have to march to the tunes of their often-wealthy clientele.  Until I saw Robert Zemeckis' Death Becomes Her, I never thought about how nerve-wrecking that could be at times.
 
Actress Madeline Ashton...
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REVIEW: Everything Burns in the Joker's Gotham, But We Have a Silent Guardian and Watchful Protector in The Dark Knight

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, May 13, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
The Dark Knight





Directed By: Christopher Nolan

Starring: Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Heath Ledger, Gary Oldman, Aaron Eckhart, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Morgan Freeman

"You'll hunt me.  You'll condemn me, set the dogs on me.   Because that's what needs to happen.  Because sometimes... the truth isn't good enough.   Sometimes people deserve more.  Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded."
-Batman (Christian Bale)


Once in a long while there comes a movie that changes the way you look a...
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REVIEW: Mr. Wayne Embraces His Fears, and the Legend of Batman Begins

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 12, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Batman Begins





Directed By: Christopher Nolan

Starring: Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Liam Neeson, Katie Holmes, Gary Oldman, Cillian Murphy, Morgan Freeman, Tom Wilkinson, and Ken Watanabe

"If you make yourself more than just a man, if you devote yourself to an ideal and if they can't stop you, you become something else entirely – a legend, Mister Wayne."
-Henri Ducard (Liam Neeson)


With summer 2012 heralding the reboot of the Spider-Man franchise, I feel like déjà vu. All I hear is that five...
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REVIEW: Patience Phillips May Land on Her Feet, But Catwoman Lands Flat on Its Ass

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 12, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Catwoman





Directed By: Pitof

Starring: Halle Berry, Benjamin Bratt, Sharon Stone, Lambert Wilson, Frances Conroy, and Alex Borstein

After Michelle Pfeiffer's seductive and fiery performance as Catwoman in Batman Returns, there was talk of a spinoff film about the feisty feline starring Pfeiffer and directed by Batman Returns director Tim Burton.  With Batman Forever taking a lighter turn and Joel Schumacher taking Burton's place in the director's chair, the chances of the spinoff happening with B...
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REVIEW: Larry Crowne with an 'E' is One Movie You Shouldn't See

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, May 6, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Larry Crowne





Directed By: Tom Hanks

Starring: Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts, Cedric the Entertainer, Taraji P. Henson, Pam Grier, Bryan Cranston, and Gugu Mbatha-Raw

He's starred opposite a volleyball named Wilson in a riveting survival drama.  He's played a gay lawyer afflicted with AIDS who struggles to find justice on his death bed.  He's even portrayed a mentally challenged yet charming Southerner who runs across America from one adventure to another.  Tom Hanks is undoubtedly the most likable gu...
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REVIEW: The Heat Is On. Clooney and Schwarzenegger Need to Get Out of the Kitchen in Batman & Robin.

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, May 6, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Batman & Robin





Directed By: Joel Schumacher

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, George Clooney, Chris O'Donnell, Uma Thurman, Alicia Silverstone, Pat Hingle, and Michael Gough

The on-screen role of Batman was cursed back in the 90s.  Batman was like the Defense against the Dark Arts post at Hogwarts.  Each live action Batman film was headlined by a different guy, and this became increasingly to the detriment of the series.  Michael Keaton reprised his role as the Caped Crusader in the spectacular B...
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REVIEW: Men in Black — Nothing Beats the Original

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, May 5, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Men in Black
SoberFilmChick




Directed By: Barry Sonnenfeld

Starring: Tommy Lee Jones, Will Smith, Linda Fiorentino, Vincent D’Onofrio, Rip Torn, and Tony Shalhoub

In light of Men in Black III’s upcoming release, STMR is doing a retro review series on the MIB trilogy.  We begin with the original 1997 film, Men in Black.  I must confess that I am a long time Will Smith fan.  I grew up watching The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and listening to “Summertime”.  His transition from a teenage rapper to...
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REVIEW: Warner Bros. Killed the Bat We Loved in Batman Forever

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 29, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Batman Forever





Directed By: Joel Schumacher

Starring: Val Kilmer, Tommy Lee Jones, Jim Carrey, Nicole Kidman, and Chris O'Donnell

Batman may be the most successful superhero of all time at the box office.  For a time though in the 90s, he was the worst managed hero.  After the magnificent films Batman and Batman Returns directed by the imaginative Tim Burton, Warner Bros. decided that they wanted this superhero franchise to be more “family-oriented”.  Apparently, a few little weak kids went ...
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REVIEW: Reese Witherspoon & Robert Pattinson are Fodder for the Romance Water for Elephants

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, April 25, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Water for Elephants
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Directed By: Francis Lawrence

Starring: Reese Witherspoon, Robert Pattinson, and Christoph Waltz

The circus is a truly magical place.  We all have fond memories of it being where the eccentric becomes the exceptional and the impossible becomes the incredible.  It's a place where freaks become deities.  For many kids, it can be the most spectacular place on Earth.  As great as the circus is, there's one thing it isn't—a particularly romantic place.  How many peo...
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REVIEW: Batman Returns Helps Us Find the Man Behind the Bat & the Woman Behind the Cat

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, April 24, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Batman Returns





Directed By: Tim Burton

Starring: Michael Keaton, Danny DeVito, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Christopher Walken

Later this year in The Dark Knight Rises, Anne Hathaway has the hardest job of all.  She's got to be Catwoman.  She's got to grab some skin-tight vinyl and a whip and bring out a dark, seductive side in her we've never quite seen on screen.  It couldn't be a more fitting year for this.  While 2012 marks the epic conclusion to the legend of the Dark Knight, it also marks the 20...
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REVIEW: Did You Ever Dance with the Devil in the Pale Moonlight? Vicki Vale Did in Batman. His Name was Joker.

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 22, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Batman





Directed By: Tim Burton

Starring: Jack Nicholson, Michael Keaton, Kim Basinger, Robert Wuhl, Pat Hingle, Billy Dee Williams, Michael Gough, and Jack Palance

With the excitement over the upcoming epic motion picture event The Dark Knight Rises, it's definitely worthwhile to revisit some of the older Batman films.  Before talk of Bane, Catwoman, and the Dark Knight himself reaches a fever pitch in the coming months, we need to talk about the movies that laid the foundation for films like TD...
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REVIEW: Riggs is a Daddy-To-Be & Murtaugh is a Granddaddy-To-Be. Lethal Weapon 4 Proves That It's Time for the Original Buddy Cops to Retire

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 22, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Lethal Weapon 4





Directed By: Richard Donner

Starring: Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Rene Russo, Chris Rock, and Jet Li

By the time Lethal Weapon 4 came rolling into theaters in 1998, the focus of the films had changed a bit.  The 90s had been good to Mel Gibson.  Because of the success of films like Braveheart, Gibson was unquestionably the main attraction of any film in which he starred at that time.  That's why Lethal Weapon 4 was the Mel Gibson Show featuring guest stars Danny Glover, ...
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REVIEW: Tony Stark May Be on the Highway to Hell, But Iron Man 2 Is Clearly on the Highway to The Avengers

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, April 19, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Iron Man 2





Directed By: Jon Favreau

Starring: Robert Downey, Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Scarlett Johansson, Mickey Rourke, and Samuel L. Jackson

The Marvel Cinematic Universe has really become something to behold.  It's something really special in the world of blockbuster filmmaking.  Marvel is doing solo films for a number of superheroes and then bringing them together as a team in the 2012 flick The Avengers.  The hero who led the pack and introduced this universe to moviegoers was Iro...
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REVIEW: As Iron Man, Billionaire Playboy Tony Stark Becomes a Superhero We All Can Love

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, April 18, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Iron Man





Directed By: Jon Favreau

Starring: Robert Downey, Jr., Terrence Howard, Jeff Bridges, and Gwyneth Paltrow

Every once in awhile, a film comes along that changes the game.  It's so refreshing and innovative that you can't be anything but impressed by it.  More often than not, you don't see it coming.   It's the film you would least expect to be revolutionary that changes everything.  Just take a look at Iron Man for example.  You would never expect some B-list Marvel superhero to step up ...
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REVIEW: Mr. Green Steps Up His Game in The Incredible Hulk

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, April 18, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
The Incredible Hulk





Directed By: Louis Leterrier

Starring: Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth, and William Hurt

Back in 2003, Hulk was an absolute disaster.  The film did anything but justice to the big green menace, and there was a backlash from fans.  That's why the 2008 film The Incredible Hulk seems nothing like its predecessor.  Universal has brought in a new director, a new Hulk, and an entirely new cast.  They wanted to distance themselves from the painful memories from Hulk.  I can happi...
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REVIEW: Riggs May Be Chaos & Murtaugh May Be Mayhem, But Lethal Weapon 3 Has Lost A Little Bit of Its Edge

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, April 17, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Lethal Weapon 3





Directed By: Richard Donner

Starring: Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Rene Russo, Stuart Wilson, and Joe Pesci

By the time 1992 came rolling around, Lethal Weapon was well-established as the premier buddy cop franchise.  After the successes of Lethal Weapon and Lethal Weapon 2, Richard Donner, Mel Gibson, and Danny Glover had nothing to prove.  Nonetheless, Lethal Weapon 3 happened.  To make things interesting in this third time around, we have a new cast member in Rene Russo.

Riggs (Gi...
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REVIEW: Hulk Is Nowhere Near As Incredible As It Could Be. Are You Getting Angry?

Posted by James Brown on Monday, April 16, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Hulk





Directed By: Ang Lee

Starring: Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliott, Josh Lucas, and Nick Nolte

Back in 2003, we were just getting started in this era of annual big budget action flicks featuring superheroes from Marvel Comics.  With the successes of X-Men, Spider-Man, and X2: X-Men United, everybody was expecting Hulk to do big things.  In the 2003 film Hulk, we wanted to see the big green angry man be incredible on the big screen.  Unfortunately, director Ang Lee takes us on a tour o...
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REVIEW: Riggs and Murtaugh Bring the House Down in Lethal Weapon 2...Literally

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 14, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Lethal Weapon 2





Directed By: Richard Donner

Starring: Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Joss Ackland, Derrick O'Connor, and Patsy Kensit

The first Lethal Weapon film set such a high standard for the modern action thriller that Lethal Weapon 2 had quite an unenviable task.  Following up a future classic is always a tall order.  As history tells us though, Richard Donner, Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, and others rose to the occasion and delivered another great action thriller that has stood the tes...
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REVIEW: Riggs and Murtaugh are the Original Buddy Cops in Lethal Weapon

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 8, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Lethal Weapon





Directed By: Richard Donner

Starring: Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Gary Busey, Mitchell Ryan, and Tom Atkins

Mel Gibson has really screwed up his career.  For a long time, he was the premier action star of his generation.  Having starred in countless classic action flicks, it's unfortunate to see how far he's fallen because of his incendiary comments in drunken, abusive tirades.  Gibson is now reduced to releasing films on Video-On-Demand as opposed to in theaters. 

What the hell happ...
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REVIEW: Danny McBride Straps a Bomb to 30 Minutes or Less But Somehow Doesn't Blow the Damn Movie Up with His Crude, Humorless Nonsense

Posted by James Brown on Friday, April 6, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
30 Minutes or Less





Directed By: Ruben Fleischer

Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Danny McBride, Aziz Ansari, and Nick Swardson

I've never been a big fan of Danny McBride.  There's a thin line between funny vulgarity and pointless crudity.  McBride crosses that line time and time again in his effort to be overtly raunchy.  He just drops four-letter words and any kind of reference to sex without any real purpose.  That kind of nonsense is not comedy.  Unfortunately, we have to deal with this crap in the...
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REVIEW: The Lincoln Lawyer Electrifies the Courtroom with Some Old School Magic

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 31, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
The Lincoln Lawyer





Directed By: Brad Furman

Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Marisa Tomei, Ryan Phillippe, Josh Lucas, John Leguizamo, Michael Peña, Bob Gunton, Bryan Cranston, and William H. Macy

Hollywood used to be ballsy.  There was a time when big studios would tackle epic romances, moving dramas, and utterly intense thrillers.  They used to make movies that made you think.  In the chase of the almighty dollar, most of Hollywood's mainstream films have increasingly become big budget spectac...
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REVIEW: "You're Killin' Me". Bruce Willis is the Modern Day Clint Eastwood, and 16 Blocks Shows Us Just Why

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 31, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
16 Blocks





Directed By: Richard Donner

Starring: Bruce Willis, Mos Def, David Morse, Cylk Cozart, and Casey Sander

Bruce Willis and Clint Eastwood have a lot in common.  They are both iconic action movie stars that defined their generations.  They've both starred in classic films that will live on for ages.  They both have this unique charm that allows them to turn grumpy old assholes into lovable characters on the big screen.  They both can get away with ridiculously cheesy lines like "You're ki...
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REVIEW: Clash of the Titans Is a Clash Between Great Action and Bad Acting

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, March 27, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Clash of the Titans





Directed By: Louis Leterrier

Starring: Sam Worthington, Gemma Arterton, Mads Mikkelsen, Alexa Davalos, Ralph Fiennes, and Liam Neeson

With Wrath of the Titans being released this weekend, it's the perfect time to revisit the 2010 remake that started it all.  When the movie hit theaters a couple of years ago, it got panned by critics.  Nonetheless, the movie made big bucks at the office.  With studio execs having fatter wallets, there was no doubt that there was going to be a ...
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REVIEW: Titanic May Be the Ship of Dreams, But James Cameron Makes It an Awe-Inspiring Reality

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, March 20, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Titanic





Directed By: James Cameron

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Billy Zane, Frances Fisher, Gloria Stuart, Bill Paxton, Kathy Bates, Danny Nucci, Bernard Hill, Victor Garber, and Eric Braeden


It's a special year for the Titanic.  April 15th will mark the 100th anniversary of the tragic shipwreck in the North Atlantic Ocean back in 1912 that heralded the deaths of more than 1,500 passengers.   Later this year, December 19th will mark the 15th anniversary of James Cameron's film base...
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REVIEW: Your Highness Needs a Royal Makeover

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 17, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Your Highness





Directed By: David Gordon Green

Starring: Danny McBride, James Franco, Natalie Portman, and Zooey Deschanel


As I begin to wrap up my 2011 retro reviews, I watch each movie with this false sense of hope.  For some reason, I think that I've seen all the crap Hollywood can produce in a single year.  Every time I watch one though, I'm proven wrong as I discover another awful, manufactured Hollywood production.  I don't know what's wrong with me.  I should know that there's no cap on cr...
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REVIEW: Hanna Is a Damn Good Hunter

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 17, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Hanna





Directed By: Joe Wright

Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Eric Bana, Tom Hollander, Olivia Williams, Jason Flemyng, and Cate Blanchett


I admire hunters.  I'm not talking about those guys that just pull out a gun and shoot their prey.  I'm talking about hunters who have to track and kill their prey by much more challenging means.  By going out in the wilderness and braving the elements, they do what most of us don't.  By pursuing their prey and taking life without question, they do what most of us w...
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REVIEW: Fast Five Breathes Life into The Fast and The Furious Franchise

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 17, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Fast Five





Directed By: Justin Lin

Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Matt Schulze, Sung Kang, Gal Gadot, Tego Calderon, Don Omar, Elsa Pataky, and Joaquim de Almeida

Unless you're dealing with Harry Potter, James Bond, or a very entertaining serial killer, the fifth installment in a film series is typically a long shot for any franchise.  Hell, most series don't make it past three or four installments.  For rea...
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REVIEW: Big Momma Needs to Retire

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, March 8, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son





Directed By: John Whitesell

Starring: Martin Lawrence and Brandon T. Jackson


Some movies are so bad that they're fun to watch.  I know going into them that they'll absolutely suck, so I have a few drinks beforehand and have a good time watching them.  Any time Martin Lawrence decides to put on a fat suit and channel his inner Big Momma, I know I'm in for a bad movie.  Only the original film was anywhere near decent.  For Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son, I liqu...
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REVIEW: Take Shelter Brings the Thunder

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, March 6, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Take Shelter





Directed By: Jeff Nichols

Starring: Michael Shannon and Jessica Chastain


Watching a mental breakdown is like watching a train wreck in slow motion.  You get a front row seat for all the carnage and chaos that builds to a devastating climax.  That's why I love movies about crazy people.  You get a taste of what leads to their breakdowns and a better understanding of what makes them tick.  Jeff Nichols' Take Shelter is one such film.

Curtis LaForche (Michael Shannon) is a man afflicted...
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REVIEW: Something Borrowed Is Something Worth Skipping

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 3, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Something Borrowed





Directed By: Luke Greenfield

Starring: Ginnifer Goodwin, Kate Hudson, John Krasinki, Colin Egglesfield, Steve Howey, and Ashley Williams


With all the big films that came out last year, a lot of smaller movies got swept under the rug.  For every Thor, Harry Potter, or Mission: Impossible, there were twice as many films we ignored at the box office.  These forgotten flicks tend to be either romantic comedies or family films.  One of the forgotten ones from May is Something Borro...
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REVIEW: The Rite Offers a Strong Message of Faith, But It Doesn't Quite Make Me Believe

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, March 1, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
The Rite





Directed By: Mikael Håfström

Starring: Anthony Hopkins, Colin O'Donoghue, Alice Braga, and Rutger Hauer


I’m just going to say it.  Exorcism flicks are not my thing.  There’s something that’s fundamentally terrifying about demonic possessions.  It’s not some undead boy who drowned at a camp or some elementary school gardener out for revenge after getting burnt alive in a boiler room.  We all know they’re not real.  Demons, on the other hand, are quite real.  As a Christian, ...
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REVIEW: Sucker Punch Wrote a Check With Its Mouth Its Ass Couldn't Cash

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, March 1, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Sucker Punch





Directed By: Zack Snyder

Starring: Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Jena Malone, Vanessa Hudgens, Jamie Chung, Carla Gugino, Oscar Isaac, Jon Hamm, and Scott Glenn


Hot girls and cool action sequences are not always a cool one-two punch combo for decent popcorn fare.  For every Transformers, there are 99 other films that absolutely sucked.  Zack Snyder's Sucker Punch falls into the category of the crappy 99%.  Snyder substitutes sexy women and elaborate visuals for a coherent story and...
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REVIEW: The Mechanic Kicks Ass But Also Kicks Itself

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 25, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
The Mechanic





Directed By: Simon West

Starring: Jason Statham and Ben Foster


Action movies are a dime a dozen, and I'm hardly impressed by most of them these days.  Some decent ass-kicking just doesn't get the job done for me anymore.  We've all seen a million movies about lonely cops, corrupt spies, or betrayed assassins.  We need something fresh and innovative to add a new page to the action movie playbook.  We need to make ass-kicking awesome again.  Unfortunately, Jason Statham's The Mechanic...
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REVIEW: Waiting to Exhale – Shoop, Shoop, Shoop

Posted by Mary Dieng on Monday, February 20, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Waiting to Exhale
Mary Dieng




Directed By: Forest Whitaker

Starring: Whitney Houston, Angela Bassett, Loretta Devine, and Lela Rochon

In honor of Whitney Houston, STMR is doing a Retro Review series on her trio of films, Waiting to Exhale, The Bodyguard and The Preacher’s Wife.  When I was first asked to do the reviews for the series, I cringed.  Not because I didn’t think it was a good idea, but because I wasn’t enthralled with her entire body of work.  Who wants to be critical under these ...
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REVIEW: The Wolf May Be Big But It Ain't Bad in Red Riding Hood

Posted by James Brown on Monday, February 20, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Red Riding Hood





Directed By: Catherine Hardwicke

Starring: Amanda Seyfried, Gary Oldman, Billy Burke, Shiloh Fernandez, Max Irons, Virginia Madsen, Lukas Haas, and Julie Christie

Now that Hollywood has made just about every comic book movie imaginable, studios are in need of a new gravy train.  They need a new genre to kill.  Studio execs have decided in mass to tackle fairy tales, and they've done nothing to hide it.  We've got two "Snow White" movies in the works this year alone.  There's talk...
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REVIEW: Pirates Has Lost a Little Luster, But It Can Still Light Up the Big Screen with Some Swashbuckling Action

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 12, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides





Directed By: Rob Marshall

Starring: Johnny Depp, Penélope Cruz, Geoffrey Rush, Ian McShane, and Kevin McNally

Hollywood has a nasty habit of killing its best franchises.  Releasing sequel after sequel, they keep piling on the movies long after they've run out of worthwhile stories to tell.  In 2011 alone, there were 27 sequels.  Studios' never ending chase of the almighty dollar has programmed viewers to see most sequels these days as crap.  There are...
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REVIEW: Green Lantern is a Little Too Green for the Big Screen

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 12, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Green Lantern





Directed By: Martin Campbell

Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard, Mark Strong, Angela Bassett, and Tim Robbins

Bringing the mythology of comic books to the big screen in live action films is one of the toughest jobs a director can tackle.  Not every hero is easy to bring to theaters like Batman or Spider-Man.  Some of the most popular comic book heroes are just not meant for live action films.  Green Lantern is one of those heroes.  Martin Campbell falls flat on ...
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REVIEW: Bad Teacher Isn't Quite Bad Enough

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 12, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Bad Teacher





Directed By: Jake Kasdan

Starring: Cameron Diaz, Justin Timberlake, Lucy Punch, and Jason Segel

In the wake of the immensely successful Bridesmaids, it's nice to see another comedy with a leading lady.  Although Cameron Diaz has been out of the comedy game for quite a while, her most notable foray into the genre led to the modern classic There's Something About Mary.  In her latest film Bad Teacher, things are a little different.  The guys aren't chasing her. This time around, she's ...
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REVIEW: Bridesmaids is a Rare Gem That Belongs in the Pantheon of Awesome Comedies

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 11, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Bridesmaids





Directed By: Paul Feig

Starring: Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Melissa McCarthy, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Ellie Kemper, Chris O'Dowd, and Jill Clayburgh


When a great comedy is released, there's absolutely no denying it.  Just look at some awesome comedies from the last decade like Old School, Wedding Crashers, and The 40 Year Old Virgin.  These are some of the flicks that make you laugh until it hurts.  These are the movies you will stop and watch on TBS anytime you see them. ...
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REVIEW: 127 Hours Is the James Franco Show Plus a Nasty Little Boulder As the Guest Star

Posted by James Brown on Friday, February 10, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
127 Hours





Directed By: Danny Boyle

Starring: James Franco

Mountain climbing and canyoneering are dangerous hobbies, but the thrill seekers of the world don't seem to mind.  They love to explore the wild, untamed parts of the world.  Going into such isolation though comes with risks, and the life of Aron Ralston can show you a great deal about those.  In his memoirs Between a Rock and a Hard Place, he documents his most horrific experience out in the wild and what he had to do to survive.  Luckil...
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REVIEW: Zookeeper is a Charmingly Crappy Flick

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, February 9, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Zookeeper





Directed By: Frank Coraci

Starring: Kevin James, Rosario Dawson, Leslie Bibb, Steffiana De La Cruz, Donnie Wahlberg, Thomas Gottschalk, Sylvester Stallone, Cher, Nick Nolte, Adam Sandler, Maya Rudolph, and Bas Rutten

We all have those bad movies that we just can't help but enjoy.  They're guilty pleasures.  Throughout the film, you're wondering what the hell you're watching.  Strangely enough though, you're enjoying the film at the same time.  These flicks are the ones you watch at hom...
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REVIEW: Bacon and Fassbender Save an Otherwise Mediocre Film in X-Men: First Class

Posted by Zach Davis on Tuesday, February 7, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
X-Men: First Class
Zach Davis




Directed by: Matthew Vaughn

Starring: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Rose Byrne, January Jones, Oliver Platt, and Kevin Bacon

X-Men: First Class is Matthew Vaughn’s fourth time out as a director.  After having made Layercake, Stardust, and Kick-Ass, First Class marks the first time he has worked with a budget of more than $100 million.  The problem with First Class is a common one amongst comic book movies.  Vaughn tries to force too much trivia into the film.

As...
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REVIEW: Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace – A Slow Start

Posted by Mary Dieng on Sunday, February 5, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace
Mary Dieng




Directed By: George Lucas

Starring: Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Jake Lloyd, Ian McDiarmid, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker, Pernilla August, and Frank Oz

In honor of the re-release of the Star Wars movies in 3D, STMR is doing a Retro Review series on the franchise.  When I found out that I was tasked with the honor of reviewing these classics, my inner geek squealed with delight.  What child of the ‘80’s wouldn’t be thrilled...
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REVIEW: The Way Back Delivers With Stunning Cinematography

Posted by Zach Davis on Saturday, February 4, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
The Way Back
Zach Davis




Directed by: Peter Weir

Starring: Jim Sturgess, Ed Harris, Colin Farrell, Saoirse Ronan, Sebastian Urzendowsky, Dragos Bucur, Mark Strong, Gustaf Skarsgård, and Alexandru Potocean


Russell Boyd’s cinematography captures the isolation of true wilderness over a vast array of landscapes.  The Way Back beautifully displays scenes of false peace through snow capped forests carpeting rolling hills, expansions of barren desert where the air seems to suck the life out of the gro...
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REVIEW: The Adjustment Bureau Could Use a Few Adjustments

Posted by James Brown on Friday, February 3, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
The Adjustment Bureau





Directed By: George Nolfi

Starring: Matt Damon, Emily Blunt, Terence Stamp, Anthony Mackie, John Slattery, Michael Kelly, and Anthony Ruivivar


I'm a huge fan of Matt Damon.  He's one of the great actors of his generation and has given me some of my favorite films including Good Will Hunting, The Departed, and The Bourne Ultimatum.  He's destined for great things and will definitely have his name etched in cinematic history some day.  He just needs to find that career-defini...
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REVIEW: The Kids Are All Right is Just Alright

Posted by James Brown on Friday, February 3, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
The Kids Are All Right





Directed By: Lisa Cholodenko

Starring: Annette Bening, Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo, Mia Wasikowska, Josh Hutcherson, and Yaya DaCosta

Family dramas are a dime a dozen.  You don't have to look too long and hard to find a flick that's got some family values.  You come into these flicks knowing what to expect, and you generally get it.  A little creativity can go a long way in a family flick.  That's why I was very curious about Lisa Cholodenko's The Kids Are All Right.  Wit...
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REVIEW: Inception is Every Movie Lover's Dream Come True

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, February 1, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Inception





Directed By: Christopher Nolan

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Ken Watanabe, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cotillard, Ellen Page, Tom Hardy, Dileep Rao, Cilian Murphy, Tom Berenger, and Michael Caine

Every once in a while, a blockbuster comes along that changes everything.  Just think of movies like Star Wars, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Jurassic Park, The Matrix, and Avatar.  These films were all game changers that pushed big budget filmmaking to the next level.  In its own way, each film...
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REVIEW: The Eagle Lands, Albeit in a Crash Landing

Posted by Zach Davis on Sunday, January 29, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
The Eagle
Zach Davis




Directed by: Kevin Macdonald

Starring: Channing Tatum, Jamie Bell, Donald Sutherland, and Mark Strong

Kevin Macdonald is mostly known for documentary pieces, and The Eagle marks his third time behind the camera for a non-documentary feature film.  His previous works include The Last King of Scotland and State of Play.  With this in mind, hiring a director that specializes in documentary filmmaking is a mistake that takes away from the story of the film.  Documentarians are no...
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REVIEW: Unknown is Unimpressive

Posted by Zach Davis on Sunday, January 29, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Unknown
Zach Davis




Directed by: Jaume Collet-Serra

Starring: Liam Neeson, Diane Kruger, January Jones, Aidan Quinn, Bruno Ganz, and Frank Langella

Movies are a safe haven for the unbelievable and the impossible, and this should never change.  Some movies can take these two things too far, and Unknown is a guilty party in that respect.  Jaume Collet-Serra’s Unknown works around an interesting premise but delivers a predictable plot that gets quite ridiculous at times.  This Liam Neeson action ve...
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REVIEW: True Grit Proves That the Western is Not Extinct

Posted by James Brown on Friday, January 27, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
True Grit





Directed By: Ethan Coen and Joel Coen

Starring: Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon, Josh Brolin, Hailee Steinfeld, Barry Pepper, Bruce Green, and Dakin Matthews

The Western genre is an endangered species that hardly graces the big screen any more.  In the last twenty years or so, Western films have become rarer and rarer.  I can probably count the number of good Westerns released over the last couple of decades on one hand.  It's not every day anymore that you get good old fashioned flicks like ...
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REVIEW: We’ve Been to Boston Many Times, But That Doesn’t Mean We Can’t Enjoy The Town

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, January 26, 2012,
The Town





Directed By: Ben Affleck

Starring: Ben Affleck, Rebecca Hall, Jon Hamm, and Jeremy Renner

Doug MacRay: “I need your help. I can't tell you what it is, you can never ask me about it later, and we're gonna hurt some people.”
James Coughlin: “...Whose car are we gonna' take?”
-Ben Affleck & Jeremy Renner, The Town

Are movies the only thing that can motivate members of Congress these days?  Before a vote in the House of Representatives on the debt ceiling last year, House Majority Whip...
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REVIEW: Kick-Ass Lives Up To Its Name

Posted by Daneeka Abellard on Thursday, January 26, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Kick-Ass
Daneeka Abellard




Directed By: Matthew Vaughn

Starring: Aaron Johnson, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Chloë Grace Moretz, Mark Strong, and Nicolas Cage

"It didn't take a trauma or cosmic rays or a power ring to make a superhero. It's just a perfect combination of optimism and naïveté."-Dave Lizewski

Kick-Ass helps answer the question ‘what if a completely average guy really tried the superhero thing’. High school student and comic book junkie, Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) is that guy. I...
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REVIEW: Speed Hits the Brakes A Few Times, But It’s Still a Fun Ride

Posted by Daneeka Abellard on Thursday, January 26, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Speed
Daneeka Abellard




Directed By: Jan de Bont

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Dennis Hopper, Sandra Bullock, Jeff Daniels, Joe Morton, Alan Ruck, and Glenn Plummer

Speed is definitely a classic action film with an interesting premise. After Officer Jack Traven (Keanu Reaves) thwarts expert bomber Howard Payne (Dennis Hopper), Payne decides to get some revenge. He sets up a little game in which a city bus in Los Angeles will explode if Jack loses. Now, there are many ways to lose this game concocted by...
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REVIEW: Paul is a Movie That Shoots for the Stars But Barely Gets Off the Ground

Posted by Zach Davis on Wednesday, January 25, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Paul
Zach Davis




Directed by: Greg Mottola

Starring: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Seth Rogen, Kristen Wiig, Jason Bateman, Bill Hader, Joe Lo Truglio, John Carroll Lynch, Sigourney Weaver, and Jane Lynch

Paul was penned by British comedy icons Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, and it shows.  These men are known lovers of comics and science fiction — two genres that serve as the main backdrop of the story.  Their work comes off as a fanboy screenplay that was somehow green lit into production.

Graeme Willy (S...
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REVIEW: The Social Network Connects On All Levels

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, January 24, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
The Social Network





Directed By: David Fincher

Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield, Justin Timberlake, Armie Hammer, Max Minghella, Brenda Song, Rashida Jones, and Rooney Mara

David Fincher has never made a bad movie.  Just think about films like Se7en, Fight Club, and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.  He's one of the few directors whom I completely trust.  If he's making a film, I know it's going to be good.  That's why it's not surprising that he delivers another solid movie in his 2...
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REVIEW: Blue Valentine Is the Story Hollywood Doesn't Tell About Falling Out of Love

Posted by James Brown on Friday, January 20, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Blue Valentine





Directed By: Derek Cianfrance

Starring: Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams

Indie romance flicks are often so much better than the formulaic, crappy love flicks Hollywood manufactures.  In an indie romance, you'll get a story with real people with real problems.  In a mainstream romance flick on the other hand, you'll get an overly predictable flick starring Katherine Heigl or Sarah Jessica Parker that always has a sappy ending.  If I had to compare them to drinks, a good indie rom...
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REVIEW: A Glass of Wine Will Do Well When Trying to Keep Pace with Arthur

Posted by Zach Davis on Sunday, January 15, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Arthur
Zach Davis




Directed by: Jason Winer

Starring: Russell Brand, Helen Mirren, Greta Gerwig, Jennifer Garner, Geraldine James, Luis Guzman, and Nick Nolte

A remake of the 1981 hit of the same name, Arthur delivers a modern take on high society and New York.  While the 1981 version garnered four Academy Award nominations and two wins, the 2011 remake doesn’t seem to capture the same magic, albeit it does very well on its own.

Arthur (Russell Brand), the playboy son of a rich industrialist (Ger...
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REVIEW: The Real Dilemma Is To Pick Out a Good Beer or Wine For The Dilemma

Posted by Zach Davis on Sunday, January 15, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
The Dilemma
Zach Davis




Directed by: Ron Howard

Starring: Vince Vaughn, Kevin James, Winona Ryder, Jennifer Connelly, Channing Tatum, and Queen Latifah

The Dilemma is a departure from Ron Howard’s recent work.  He’s helmed films that have garnered award buzz such as A Beautiful Mind and Frost/Nixon.  He’s also helmed commercially successful films in recent years such as The Da Vinci Code.  While this film offered less of a challenge to Howard, he still delivered an all-around entertaining mo...
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REVIEW: The Fighter Knocks Us Off Our Feet As It Spars With Greatness

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, January 15, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
The Fighter





Directed By: David O. Russell

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Christian Bale, Melissa Leo, and Amy Adams

It's hard to beat a good sports flick.  There's something about the physicality and intensity of athletic competition on the big screen.  A great sports flick can get you up and shouting just as much as any game or fight could on a Saturday night with the boys and some brewskies.  In the film The Fighter, director David O. Russell brings to life the story of Mickey Ward and his quest to ...
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REVIEW: I Felt Black Swan...It Was Perfect.

Posted by James Brown on Friday, January 13, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Black Swan





Directed By: Darren Aronofsky

Starring: Natalie Portman, Vincent Cassel, Mila Kunis, Barbara Hershey, and Winona Ryder

There's a thin line between genius and insanity.  Ultra-talented people are often really screwed up.  In the arts and entertainment, many of these folks are like supernovas.  They briefly shine brighter than anything or anyone before them, but all of a sudden, they're gone too soon.  Their personal issues take center stage, and they get the better of them.  Just think...
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REVIEW: Colin Firth Gives a Royal Performance in The King's Speech

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, January 11, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
The King's Speech





Directed By: Tom Hooper

Starring: Colin Firth, Helena Bonham Carter, and Geoffrey Rush

Whenever an actor portrays a British monarch well on the big screen, they've just earned themselves an Oscar nod at the least.  I don't know what it is about portraying these larger-than-life figures, but I do know that any actor taking on a role of this nature will bring their absolute best when the cameras are rolling.  Just look at examples such as Cate Blanchett's performance as Elizabeth...
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REVIEW: Thor Swings a Mighty Hammer

Posted by Zach Davis on Sunday, January 8, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Thor
Zach Davis




Directed by: Kenneth Branagh (Post credit scenes shot by Joss Whedon)

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Anthony Hopkins, Stellan Skarsgård, Rene Russo, Kat Dennings, and Idris Elba


Kenneth Branagh did an outstanding job creating the worlds of Asgard and Jotunheim, the respective homes of the mighty hero Thor and the Ice Giants.  Branagh, not really known for using visual effects and computer images, managed better than many directors who spend their care...
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REVIEW: It Will Take a Few Cocktails to Find Anything Remotely Insidious

Posted by Zach Davis on Sunday, January 8, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Insidious
Zach Davis




Directed By: James Wan

Starring: Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Ty Simpkins, Barbara Hershey, Lin Shaye, Andrew Astor, and Leigh Whannell

From the mind of Saw scribe, Leigh Whannell, comes Insidious, a different side of the horror spectrum.  Instead of a serial killer who communicates through a satanic-like puppet, Insidious offers a look into the world of ghosts and demons.

After moving into their new home, Josh Lampert (Patrick Wilson) and his wife Renai (Rose Byrne) begin to w...
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REVIEW: Pray There's an Open Bar During Jumping the Broom

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 7, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Jumping the Broom





Directed By: Salim Akil

Starring: Laz Alonso, Paula Patton, Tasha Smith, Loretta Devine, and Meagan Good

It's nice to see a good black comedy every once in a while.  They've been crowded out so much by crappy Tyler Perry flicks in recent years that I had really begun to miss them.  When I heard about Bishop T.D. Jakes' Jumping the Broom, I got pretty excited.  I thought we had a really good black comedy at hand.  With a cast including Angela Bassett, Loretta Devine, Mike Epps, ...
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REVIEW: Get a Beer Flask for Hall Pass

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 7, 2012,
Hall Pass
James Brown




Directed By: Bobby and Peter Farrelly

Starring: Owen Wilson, Jason Sudeikis, Jenna Fischer, Christina Applegate, Stephen Merchant, Joy Behar, Alexandra Daddario, and Nicky Whelan


2011 was a pretty good year for Owen Wilson.  He had the critically acclaimed Midnight in Paris and the commercially successful Cars 2.  He's definitely been on a roll.  Wilson started the year out though with Hall Pass.  The movie is a fairly mediocre comedy directed by the Farrelly Brothers.  The ...
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REVIEW: Red State Reminds us of the Dangers of the Internet

Posted by Zach Davis on Thursday, January 5, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Red State
Zach Davis




Directed by Kevin Smith

Starring: Michael Parks, John Goodman, Michael Angarano, Kerry Bishe, Nicholas Braun, and Kyle Gallner

Red State marks Kevin Smith’s first stab at a horror story, and it delivers a chilling blow.   A complete departure from his Jersey based comedies, Red State delivers characters in no way akin to Jay and Silent Bob.  Instead, Red State opens up a world with extreme Christian fundamentalists and their views on cleansing the world of sinners.
 
High sch...
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REVIEW: When Adam Sandler’s Crew Gets Romantic, It's Better to Grab a Couple Beers and ‘Just Go With It’

Posted by Zach Davis on Tuesday, January 3, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Just Go With It
Zach Davis




Directed By: Dennis Dugan

Starring: Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston, Dan Patrick, Brooklyn Decker, Dave Matthews, Nick Swardson, and Nicole Kidman


With any good romantic comedy, character is key; and while Just Go With It offers up little in terms of depth, it keeps to Sandler’s comedic strengths of goofy sight gags and situational absurdity.

Danny (Adam Sandler) overhears the true feelings of his bride to be and walks away from the wedding.  Naturally, he heads straigh...
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Coming Soon

Posted by James Brown on Monday, January 2, 2012,
This series of reviews will be coming soon to Sobriety Test!

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