Showing Tag: " action" (Show all posts)

REVIEW: On the Roadway to An Apocalyptic Future Courtesy of SkyNet, Terminator 2 Says Hasta La Vista to Judgement Day

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, March 22, 2015, In : 0.00% Water 
Terminator 2: Judgement Day





Directed By: James Cameron


Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Robert Patrick, and Edward Furlong

I'm sure that many of you who are reading this post are fans of James Cameron's 2009 blockbuster Avatar.  The film did gross more than $2.7 billion at the box office and has no money-making equal in the modern era of film.  It has no sequel either, yet.  Fans have waited six years but must wait at least another two to return to Pandora.  This is not the least...

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REVIEW: On Your Feet Soldier! The Future Is Not Set With Cyberdyne Model 101, AKA The Terminator, Hunting Down Sarah Connor With a Phone Book

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, March 22, 2015, In : 0.00% Water 
The Terminator





Directed By: James Cameron

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Biehn, Linda Hamilton, and Paul Winfield


"Thank you, Sarah, for your courage through the dark years.  I can't help you with what you must soon face, except to say that the future is not set.  You must be stronger than you imagine you can be.  You must survive, or I will never exist."
-Kyle Reese (Michael Biehn)

Very few films, especially franchise installments, leave an indelible mark on the cinematic landscape.  If...

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REVIEW: With A Spinosaurus, A Pterodactyl, & Kirby Enterprises, Jurassic Park III Crashes & Burns Returning to Isla Sorna

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, January 20, 2015, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Jurassic Park III





Directed By: Joe Johnston


Starring: Sam Neill, William H. Macy, Téa Leoni, Alessandro Nivola, Trevor Morgan, and Michael Jeter

The hardest reality for a Hollywood studio executive to face is that some of the best movies don't require sequels.  Some of the finest in blockbuster cinema include those films that remain untarnished by needless follow-ups.  These films stand on their own.  Though there are few films that meet this standard anymore, they do exist.  The quintessential...

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REVIEW: Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones – Anakin Rejects The Role Of The Young Padawan As The Galactic Republic Faces The Dark Side

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Thursday, September 11, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones
SoberFilmChick




Directed by:  George Lucas

Starring: Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman, Ian McDiarmid, Samuel L. Jackson, Christopher Lee, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker, and Frank Oz

With the release of a new Star Wars film imminent, Sobriety Test Movie Reviews continues its retro review series of Episodes I through VI.  Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones marked the second installment in the tale of Anakin Skywalker’s desce...

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REVIEW: Ape Management's Use of the Achilles List Guarantees the Conquest of the Planet of the Apes

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, July 13, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes





Directed By: J. Lee Thompson

Starring: Roddy McDowall, Don Murray, Ricardo Montalbán, and Natalie Trundy

Caesar (Roddy McDowall): "The King is dead.  Long live the King!  Tell me Breck, before you die - how do we differ from the dogs and cats that you and your kind used to love?  Why did you turn us from pets into slaves?"

Breck (Don Murray): "Because your kind were once our ancestors.  Because man was born of apes, and there's still an ape curled up inside of ...

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REVIEW: In Beneath the Planet of the Apes, Doomsday Nears for This Green & Insignificant Planet Thanks to the Telepaths' Alpha Omega Bomb

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, June 22, 2014, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Beneath the Planet of the Apes





Directed By: Ted Post

Starring: James Franciscus, Kim Hunter, Maurice Evans, Linda Harrison, and Charlton Heston


As I watched Planet of the Apes once again, it reminded me just how bold Rise of the Planet of the Apes and its upcoming sequel Dawn of the Planet of the Apes really are.  In Planet of the Apes and its sequels, the apocalypse has come and gone.  In these newer prequels, we're focusing squarely on the turbulent times that lead to mankind's downfall, which...

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REVIEW: On the Upside Down Planet of the Apes, Bright Eyes Deviant Taylor Wants the Damned Dirty Apes to Get Their Stinking Paws Off Him

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, June 19, 2014, In : 0.00% Water 
Planet of the Apes





Directed By: Franklin J. Schaffner

Starring: Charlton Heston, Roddy McDowall, Maurice Evans, Kim Hunter, James Whitmore, James Daly, and Linda Harrison

"Beware the beast Man, for he is the Devil's pawn.  Alone among God's primates, he kills for sport or lust or greed.  Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land.  Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours.  Shun him; drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the ...

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REVIEW: Justice Is Not Served in Hell's Kitchen by the Blind Lawyer Daredevil, the Man With No Fear

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, June 15, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Daredevil





Directed By: Mark Steven Johnson

Starring: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Michael Clarke Duncan, Colin Farrell, Joe Pantoliano, Jon Favreau, and David Keith

We've got a lot of big superhero movies in 2014 and 2015, including the likes of The Amazing Spider-Man 2, X-Men: Days of Future Past, Guardians of the Galaxy, and The Avengers: Age of Ultron.  Still, moviegoers seem to have their eyes fixated on the Zack Snyder's Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice, which is still two years away. ...

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REVIEW: With Aliens, Rubik's Cubes, and Operation Walking Distance, Super 8 is One Cool Throwback Sci-Fi Flick

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 3, 2014, In : 0.00% Water 
Super 8





Directed By: J. J. Abrams


Starring: Joel Courtney, Elle Fanning, Kyle Chandler, Riley Griffiths, Ryan Lee, and Ron Eldard


The Internet is abuzz with talk about the casting for J.J. Abrams's Star Wars: Episode VII.  Expectedly, some Trekkies are still discontent with the fact that Abrams turned to the dark side by ditching the Star Trek franchise and are once again ranting on the web to make their voices heard.  In between Abrams's jobs of living long and prospering and letting the force ...

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REVIEW: With 30 Seconds of the Clash Between Cop Vincent Hanna & Robber Neil McCauley, You Know the Flip Side of the Coin Has Just as Much Heat

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 16, 2014, In : 0.00% Water 
Heat





Directed By: Michael Mann

Starring: Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Tom Sizemore, Diane Venora, Amy Brenneman, Ashley Judd, Mykelti Williamson, Wes Studi, Ted Levine, Jon Voight, Val Kilmer, and Natalie Portman

"A guy told me one time, 'Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.'  Now, if you're on me and you gotta move when I move, how do you expect to keep a... a marriage?"
-Neil McCauley (Robert De N...

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REVIEW: With Oppressive Capitalist Pigs, Rehabs, & Splatter Punks, RoboCop 3 Finds Itself Completely Outdated

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 15, 2014, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
RoboCop 3





Directed By: Fred Dekker


Starring: Robert John Burke, Nancy Allen, Rip Torn, John Castle, Jill Hennessy, Mako, and C. C. H. Pounder


If I thought RoboCop 2 was outdated when it arrived in theaters, you can probably guess what I think about Murphy's third outing in Detroit.  By the time RoboCop 3 arrived in theaters, the science fiction genre had changed forever.  All I need to make my case is that the Tyrannosaurus Rex had already roared on the big screen and elevated our expectations f...

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REVIEW: With Nuke on the Streets & A Kid Running the Drug Scene, RoboCop 2 Is No Lethal Response to Its Predecessor

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 9, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
RoboCop 2





Directed By: Irvin Kershner

Starring: Peter Weller, Nancy Allen, Dan O'Herlihy, Belinda Bauer, Tom Noonan, and Gabriel Damon


As I revisit the RoboCop series, I have mixed feelings.  I loved the original movie, but I have no love whatsoever for its two sequels.  In the case of RoboCop, Hollywood butchered yet another blockbuster series with these sequels.  The proof is in the pudding.  Just look at the second RoboCop movie.  Lacking consistency, coherence, and creativity, RoboCop 2 is a...

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REVIEW: Old Detroit Cleaned Up by OCP Product RoboCop, I'd Buy That for a Dollar Over Delta City

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 25, 2014, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
RoboCop





Directed By: Paul Verhoeven

Starring: Peter Weller, Nancy Allen, Dan O'Herlihy, Ronny Cox, Kurtwood Smith, and Miguel Ferrer

Machines are synonymous with science fiction movies.  Where would John Connor be without The Terminator?  What would the Star Wars saga be like without our beloved droids C-3PO and R2-D2?  Who would send chills down our spines in Alien if not the slippery android Ash?  I could go on and on.  This is just a small slice of the role machines play in sci-fi.  Despite t...

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REVIEW: Goldfinger's Operation Grand Slam at Fort Knox is a Rousing Success Thanks to 007, Pussy Galore, and the Flying Circus

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 22, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Goldfinger





Directed By: Guy Hamilton

Starring: Sean Connery, Gert Fröbe, Honor Blackman, Harold Sakata, and Bernard Lee

Of all the James Bond movies, there's one that stands out as the most iconic, as an all-time classic.  There's only one Goldfinger.  The unforgettable lyrics are sung so effortlessly by Shirley Bassey.  The cool gadgets and toys featured in the film consistently impress.  The delightful characters leave an indelible mark on the 007 franchise.  While I'm partial to Casino Royal...

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REVIEW: Mutant and Proud Even During the Cuban Missile Crisis, Frankenstein's Monster Magneto Battles His Creator Sebastian Shaw in X-Men: First Class

Posted by James Brown on Friday, July 26, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
X-Men: First Class





Directed By: Matthew Vaughn

Starring: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Rose Byrne, Jennifer Lawrence, January Jones, Oliver Platt, and Kevin Bacon

"I believe that true focus lies somewhere between rage and serenity."
-Professor Charles Xavier (James McAvoy)

Aside from Hugh Jackman's solo outing in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, there's always been a pervasive theme in the X-Men movies comparing the fight for mutant rights to the Civil Rights Movement.  In my review of the original X...

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REVIEW: Whether Kuekuatsu, the Trickster, or the Moon, Wolverine Does a Disservice to the X-Men Franchise in His Origin Story

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, July 24, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
X-Men Origins: Wolverine





Directed By: Gavin Hood

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Danny Huston, Dominic Monaghan, Ryan Reynolds, Kevin Durand, will.i.am, Taylor Kitsch, and Lynn Collins

"I come with you, I'm coming for blood.  No law, no code of conduct.  You point me in the right direction, and you get the hell out of my way."
-Logan (Hugh Jackman)

Hugh Jackman is perfect to play the Wolverine.  The only better casting of a superhero in the history of comic book movies is Robert Downey, Jr...

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REVIEW: Because Frank Moses Requested Some Pension Checks, His Fellow Seniors Get to Show They're Retired But Extremely Dangerous

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, July 14, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Red





Directed By: Robert Schwentke

Starring: Bruce Willis, Mary-Louise Parker, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren, Brian Cox, and Karl Urban

The actors of today have definitely earned their place in the hearts of moviegoers, but we still love our stars of old.  In the world of action movies for instance, just look to the success of The Expendables and the seemingly unending careers of the legends of the 80s and 90s.  Somehow, the likes of Schwarzenegger and Stallone are still going, gra...

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REVIEW: In X-Men: The Last Stand, the Best Defense is Not a Good Offense

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, July 6, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
X-Men: The Last Stand





Directed By: Brett Ratner

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Ian McKellen, Famke Janssen, Anna Paquin, Kelsey Grammer, James Marsden, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Shawn Ashmore, Aaron Stanford, Vinnie Jones, and Patrick Stewart

"Don't let it control you."
-Professor Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart)

Between 2005 and 2007, we didn't have the greatest comic book movies hitting theaters across the globe.  Admittedly, we did have Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins in '05.  However, we...

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REVIEW: With Tornadoes, Cerebro, and the Phoenix, X2 is the Next Link in the Evolutionary Chain of Comic Book Movies

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 29, 2013, In : 0.00% Water 
X2: X-Men United





Directed By: Bryan Singer

Starring: Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen, Halle Berry, Famke Janssen, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Brian Cox, Alan Cumming, Bruce Davison, and Anna Paquin

"Mutants.  Since the discovery of their existence they have been regarded with fear, suspicion, often hatred.  Across the planet, debate rages.  Are mutants the next link in the evolutionary chain or simply a new species of humanity fighting for their share of the world?  Either way it is a his...

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REVIEW: X-Men is the Civil Rights Movie of the Modern Comic Book Movie Genre

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 29, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
X-Men





Directed By: Bryan Singer

Starring: Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen, Halle Berry, Famke Janssen, James Marsden, Bruce Davison, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Ray Park, and Anna Paquin

"Mutation: it is the key to our evolution.  It has enabled us to evolve from a single-celled organism into the dominant species on the planet.  This process is slow, and normally taking thousands and thousands of years.  But every few hundred millennia, evolution leaps forward."

-Professor Charles Xavier (...

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REVIEW: Why the World Doesn't Need Superman Returns

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 1, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Superman Returns





Directed By: Bryan Singer

Starring: Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, James Marsden, Frank Langella, Eva Marie Saint, Parker Posey, Kal Penn, Sam Huntington, and Kevin Spacey

Before we entered this era of filmmaking where studios reboot a franchise at the drop of a hat, studios opted to keep franchises alive forever and ever.  There are countless examples of this.  Look at the Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street series, kept alive through the 1980s, the 1990s, and most of th...

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REVIEW: The Quest for Peace is the Quest to Take Superman to New Lows Entering the Nuclear Arms Race

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 1, 2013, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace





Directed By: Sidney J. Furie


Starring: Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Jackie Cooper, Marc McClure, Jon Cryer, Sam Wanamaker, Mark Pillow, Mariel Hemingway, and Margot Kidder

DC Comics has been getting spanked by Marvel at the movies.  Just look at Iron Man 3 and how that kicks off Phase 2 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  DC seriously needs to step up their game and leverage the abundance of comic book mythology at their fingertips.  As badly as they're losing...

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REVIEW: In Fast & Furious, One Bad Judgement Call is the Difference Between Cop Brian O'Conner and Criminal Dom Toretto

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, May 23, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Fast & Furious





Directed By: Justin Lin

Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez, and Jordana Brewster

"I don't know about your other drivers, but when I see flashing lights in my mirror, I don't stop."
-Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel)

Fast & Furious is the third sequel to The Fast and the Furious, yet it is the first true sequel to the original film with all the principal cast members reprising their roles, including Vin Diesel in his leading role as Dominic Toretto.  It's a damn shame t...

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REVIEW: The Fast and the Furious Somehow Drifts to Tokyo

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, May 23, 2013, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift





Directed By: Justin Lin

Starring: Lucas Black, Sung Kang, Bow Wow, Brian Tee, Nathalie Kelley, Jason Tobin, and Vin Diesel

The Fast & Furious franchise has had a very unusual path to becoming a global box office phenomenon.  The Fast and the Furious was a decent but hardly memorable racing film that had some cool one-liners, hot chicks, and slick 10 second cars.  2 Fast 2 Furious was a solid spinoff starring Paul Walker and a brand new supporting cast.  With...

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REVIEW: Brian & Roman Are Definitely Hungry in 2 Fast 2 Furious, But Their Pockets Ain't Empty

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 4, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
2 Fast 2 Furious





Directed By: John Singleton


Starring: Paul Walker, Tyrese, Eva Mendes, Cole Hauser, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Thom Barry, and James Remar

While The Fast and the Furious was just a good racing movie, it made more than its fair share of cheddar.  That's why it's no surprise that studio execs had its sequel 2 Fast 2 Furious in cinemas in just two short years.  They were hungry for some more easy money.  That being said, the curious thing about this second installment in the franchi...

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REVIEW: In Superman III, Richard Prior Happens to Be a Computer Genius. Seriously???

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 4, 2013, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Superman III





Directed By: Richard Lester

Starring: Christopher Reeve, Richard Pryor, Jackie Cooper, Marc McClure, Annette O'Toole, Annie Ross, Pamela Stephenson, Robert Vaughn, and Margot Kidder

We've come to the point in this Superman retro series where I have to deliver some harsh truths.  First and foremost, we haven't had a good Superman flick in over 30 years.  It saddens me to say that Superman II was the last great movie about our favorite Kryptonian donning red and blue tights.  Since th...

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REVIEW: Toretto and O'Conner May Be a Match Made in Hell, But They Sure are Fast and Furious Street Racers

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 21, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
The Fast and the Furious





Directed By: Rob Cohen


Starring: Paul Walker, Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster, Matt Schulze, Thom Barry, and Johnny Strong

“Ask any racer, any real racer. It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile; winning's winning.”

-Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel)

That's a quote I've taken to heart over the last twelve years.  Of course, I still always enjoy spanking an opponent, whether competing athletically, intellectually, or electronically.  In the end, ho...

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REVIEW: Nanomites and All, Duke and Ripcord Don't Rise to the Occasion in G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, March 17, 2013, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra





Directed By: Stephen Sommers


Starring: Channing Tatum, Sienna Miller, Christopher Eccleston, Marlon Wayans, Rachel Nichols, Dennis Quaid, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ray Park, Lee Byung-hun, and Jonathan Pryce


In recent years, toy maker Hasbro has been intent upon getting all its major product lines on the big screen.  Transformers certainly made sense and has paid big dividends for them (despite declining quality throughout the series).  Battleshi...

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REVIEW: Superman II Is All About the Man of Steel Kneeling Before Zod and Finding Some Freshly Squeezed Orange Juice

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, March 7, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Superman II





Directed By: Richard Lester

Starring: Christopher Reeve, Margot Kidder, Gene Hackman, Ned Beatty, Jackie Cooper, Sarah Douglas, Jack O'Halloran, Valerie Perrine, Susannah York, Clifton James, E.G. Marshall, Mark McClure, and Terence Stamp

Superman is rarely given a physical challenge.  Because the yellow sun of our galaxy makes him the closest thing to immortal, there are very few who can really go toe-to-toe with him.  Because of this, it's a special treat whenever the Man of Steel ...

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REVIEW: Top Gun — No Points for Second Place at This Fighter Weapons School

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 24, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Top Gun





Directed By: Tony Scott

Starring: Tom Cruise, Kelly McGillis, Val Kilmer, Anthony Edwards, Tom Skerritt, Michael Ironside, Meg Ryan, Rick Rossovich, Whip Hubley, and James Tolkan

Last year, we lost a fine director by the name of Tony Scott.  With films like Enemy of the State, Crimson Tide, and Man on Fire to his name, it's time we revisit some of his films.  With Top Gun being recently re-released to theaters in IMAX 3D, there's no time like the present to cover it.  This quintessential...

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REVIEW: SPECTRE Lets the Siamese Fighting Fish Duke It Out in the Cold War Themed From Russia With Love

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, February 19, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
From Russia With Love






Directed By: Terence Young


Starring: Sean Connery, Daniela Bianchi, Lotte Lenya, Robert Shaw, and Pedro Armendáriz


With last year marking the 50th anniversary for the Bond series as a whole, there's a lot of love for the world's favorite British spy.  If the win for billion dollar blockbuster Skyfall at the BAFTAs proves anything, it proves that 007 is still a hot commodity.  With this in mind, we're going to keep this Bond retro series going on STMR.  This month's film is...

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REVIEW: Jurassic Park Gets My Endorsement Because Life Finds a Way

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 10, 2013, In : 0.00% Water 

Jurassic Park





Directed By: Steven Spielberg

Starring: Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough, Bob Peck, Martin Ferrero, BD Wong, Samuel L. Jackson, Wayne Knight, Joseph Mazzello, and Ariana Richards

"Dinosaurs and man, two species separated by 65 million years of evolution have just been suddenly thrown back into the mix together. How can we possibly have the slightest idea what to expect?"
-Dr. Alan Grant (Sam Neill)

I can't believe that it's been two decades since Juras...


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REVIEW: In Live Free or Die Hard, the Fire Sale Pushes Bruce Willis to Once Again Be That Guy

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 3, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

Live Free or Die Hard





Directed By: Len Wiseman

Starring: Bruce Willis, Justin Long, Timothy Olyphant, Jonathan Sadowski, Maggie Q, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Kevin Smith, and Cliff Curtis

"It's a three-step systematic attack on the entire national infrastructure.  Okay, step one: take out all the transportation.  Step two: the financial base and telecoms.  Step three: You get rid of all the utilities.  Gas, water, electric, nuclear.  Pretty much anything that's run by computers which... which ...


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REVIEW: In Die Hard: With a Vengeance, Simon Says Two Pigeons Hold Fort Knox Down

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, January 27, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

Die Hard: With a Vengeance





Directed By: John McTiernan

Starring: Bruce Willis, Jeremy Irons, Samuel L. Jackson, Larry Bryggman, Graham Greene, and Colleen Camp

The first two Die Hard movies were all about Bruce Willis going up against all odds to defeat formidable criminals reigning terror down on his wife and other innocent victims.  While the first Die Hard perfected this formula, I can't say the same for the second one.  When Die Hard: With a Vengeance was in the works, the life and times...


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REVIEW: In Die Hard 2, John McClane is the Wrong Guy in the Wrong Place at the Wrong Time All Over Again

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 26, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 

Die Hard 2





Directed By: Renny Harlin

Starring: Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Art Evans, Dennis Franz, Reginald VelJohnson, and John Amos

What are the chances that the same thing would happen to the same guy twice?  That's the question we end up asking ourselves in Renny Harlin's Die Hard 2, the follow-up to the 1988 smash hit starring a young Bruce Willis.  While this sounds awesome on paper, I wish the same guy would have directed the film.  As you may know, Die Hard directo...


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REVIEW: With the Man of Steel and the Greatest Criminal Mind of Our Time, Superman Heralds the Birth of Comic Book Moves in a Grand Way

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, January 10, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

Superman: The Movie





Directed By: Richard Donner

Starring: Marlon Brando, Gene Hackman, Christopher Reeve, Margot Kidder, Glenn Ford, Phyllis Thaxter, Jackie Cooper, Mark McClure, Valerie Perrine, and Ned Beatty

"You will travel far, my little Kal-El.  But we will never leave you... even in the face of our death.  The richness of our lives shall be yours.  All that I have, all that I've learned, everything I feel... all this, and more, I... I bequeath you, my son.  You will carry me inside yo...


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REVIEW: In Die Hard, Roy Rogers and Some Not-So-Common Thieves Tear Nakatomi Plaza to Shreds

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, January 10, 2013, In : 0.00% Water 

Die Hard





Directed By: John McTiernan

Starring: Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman, Alexander Godunov, Bonnie Bedalia, Reginald VelJohnson, and Paul Gleason

"Yippee kai yay, motherfucker!".  It's hard to believe that it's been a quarter century since a young Bruce Willis uttered these words to Alan Rickman and forever changed the face of action movies.  These aren't just the words of some older generation of cowboy, gun-loving Americans.  These are the words that symbolize an entire generation of act...


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GUEST REVIEW: Commando

Posted by Zack Mandell on Thursday, January 3, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 

Commando





Directed By: Mark L. Lester

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rae Dawn Chong, Alyssa Milano, James Olson, Dan Hedaya, Vernon Wells, Bill Duke, and David Patrick Kelly

The end of the Cold War was still six years away; dictators were common villains, and the moviegoers of the freedom-loving United States were absolutely enamored with action movies.  It was 1985 and Arnold Schwarzenegger was at the top of his game.

With The Last Stand set to open this January, and Schwarzenegger playing...


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REVIEW: In Star Trek, Red Matter Makes the Death Star Look a Little Old School

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, January 2, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

Star Trek





Directed By: J. J. Abrams

Starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Leonard Nimoy, Karl Urban, Zoe Saldana, Simon Pegg, John Cho, Anton Yelchin, Eric Bana, and Bruce Greenwood

I've never been a Trekkie, but it’s impossible to avoid Star Trek.  With all the shows and the movies over the years, Star Trek has been done to death.  I've seen enough of Captan Kirk and Spock for a lifetime, or at least I thought so.  When J. J. Abrams announced that he would be tackling a new installment in...


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REVIEW: With a License to Kill, 007 Gets Down to Business with Dr. No on Crab Key Island

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, December 19, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

Dr. No





Directed By: Terence Young

Starring: Sean Connery, Joseph Wiseman, Ursula Andress, Jack Lord, and John Kitzmiller

It's hard to believe that James Bond has been around for half a century.  In that time, we've seen a number of British badasses rock tuxedos and sip martinis that are shaken, not stirred.  We've seen the classic cars.  We've seen the gorgeous Bond girls.  We've seen the iconic villains.  In honor of the 50th anniversary of Bond, it's time to go back to basics and revisit t...


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REVIEW: In The Return of the King, the Pity of Bilbo Does Indeed Rule the Fate of Many

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, December 9, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (Extended Edition)





Directed By: Peter Jackson

Starring: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Sean Astin, Andy Serkis, Viggo Mortensen, Dominic Monaghan, Billy Boyd, John Rhys-Davies, Orlando Bloom, and Liv Tyler

The third installment in a trilogy is rarely the best because filmmakers are always trapped by the conventions of a trilogy.  They're trying to conclude the story and simultaneously outdo themselves.  Just look to Return of the Jedi, The Godfather:...


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REVIEW: The Union of Isengard and Mordor Spells Doom for the World of Men in The Two Towers

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, December 5, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (Extended Edition)





Directed By: Peter Jackson

Starring: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Sean Astin, Viggo Mortensen, Andy Serkis, Liv Tyler, Cate Blanchett, John Rhys-Davies, Orlando Bloom, Bernard Hill, Christopher Lee, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, Hugo Weaving, Miranda Otto, Karl Urban, David Wenham, Brad Dourif, Sala Baker, and Sean Bean

When the journey began with The Fellowship of the Ring, Peter Jackson began introducing the world to his extravagant vi...


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REVIEW: It's a Dangerous Business Going Out Your Door, and The Fellowship of the Ring Does Nothing But Prove This

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, December 5, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (Extended Edition)





Directed By: Peter Jackson

Starring: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen, Sean Astin, Orlando Bloom, Liv Tyler, John Rhys-Davies, Sean Bean, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, Cate Blanchett, Christopher Lee, Hugo Weaving, and Ian Holm

"One ring to rule them all.  One ring to find them.  One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them."
-Gandalf (Ian McKellen)

In the world of movies, there is no finer trilogy tha...


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REVIEW: The Cold Ones and the Spirit Warriors Leave a Lot to Be Desired. Nobody Will Imprint on Eclipse

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, November 15, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse





Directed By: David Slade

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Bryce Dallas Howard, Billy Burke, and Dakota Fanning

Watching a Twilight sequel is like watching a game of limbo.  As the acting, writing, and directing continue to spiral downward, it's all about how low these teen movies can go.  I have to give it to our trio of stars on their limbo skills.  Every time I think, they can't go any lower, they somehow manage to make the romance a l...


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REVIEW: In New Moon, the Hole in Bella's Chest is Unpoetic and Uninspiring Altogether

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, November 13, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 

The Twilight Saga: New Moon





Directed By: Chris Weitz

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Ashley Greene, Rachelle Lefevre, Billy Burke, Michael Sheen, and Dakota Fanning

"Sometimes you've gotta learn to love what's good for you."
-Charlie Swan (Billy Burke)

That's the wisest thing I've ever heard out of a Twilight movie.  More often than not, however, many of us still love what's not good for us.  Take the Twilight films for example.  They're full of horrendous acting...


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REVIEW: Vampire Baseball Games?! Soap Opera Teen Romances?! Twilight Perverts the Vampire Movie Tradition

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, November 13, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 

Twilight





Directed By: Catherine Hardwicke

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Billy Burke, and Peter Facinelli

You all know by now that I'm no huge Twilight fan.  I've made this clear time and time again in countless reviews.  That being said, the series will be concluding this month in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 2.  The torture is almost over!  Out of what little respect I have for the franchise, I've decided to revisit the Twilight films.  With this in mind, there's no...


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REVIEW: Quantum of Solace is No Casino Royale

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, November 7, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 

Quantum of Solace





Directed By: Marc Forster

Starring: Daniel Craig, Olga Kurylenko, Mathieu Amalric, Gemma Arterton, Judi Dench, Jeffrey Wright, and Giancarlo Giannini

Casino Royale set a new high standard for the modern James Bond.  Because of this, the expectations for Quantum of Solace, the 22nd 007 flick, were through the roof.  Moviegoers expected lightning to strike twice in the same place.  Unfortunately, this was not meant to be.  With Martin Campbell no longer at the helm, Marc Fors...


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REVIEW: Casino Royale Gambles on a Brand New Badass 007 in Daniel Craig

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, November 7, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 

Casino Royale





Directed By: Martin Campbell

Starring: Daniel Craig, Eva Green, Mads Mikkelsen, Judi Dench, and Jeffrey Wright

This year marks the 50th anniversary of the on-screen debut of beloved British spy James Bond.  If you didn't know that by now, I'd be genuinely surprised.  Current Bond Daniel Craig opened up the 2012 Olympics with Queen Elizabeth several months ago.  There's been a blitz of advertising themed around 007 this year.  Ultimately, all this exposure and fanfare will culmi...


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REVIEW: The Equation Balances Itself Out, and the Wachowskis Find Perfection in The Matrix Revolutions

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, October 21, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 

The Matrix Revolutions





Directed By: Andy Wachowski and Larry Wachowski

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving, Jada Pinkett Smith, Harry J. Lennix, and Harold Perrineau

“Everything that has a beginning has an end.  I see the end coming, I see the darkness spreading.  I see death.”
-The Oracle (Mary Alice)

The third chapter in a trilogy is often trapped by the inconveniences of being the final chapter.  At the end of the movie, everything has to come to...


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REVIEW: The Wachowskis Make All the Right Choices. Therefore, The Matrix Reloaded Awesome. Cause and Effect…

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, October 20, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

The Matrix Reloaded





Directed By: Andy Wachowski and Larry Wachowski

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving, Harold Perrineau, Randall Duk Kim, and Jada Pinkett Smith

After the massive success of The Matrix, the Wachowskis certainly had the unenviable task of writing the next chapter of this storied sci-fi franchise.  It took them four years, but they came out with The Matrix Reloaded in 2003 (followed by The Matrix Revolutions later that same year).  Like ...


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REVIEW: What is the Matrix? One Damn Good Movie That Shows Us How Deep the Rabbit Hole Goes

Posted by James Brown on Monday, October 15, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 

The Matrix





Directed By: Andy Wachowski and Larry Wachowski

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving, and Joe Pantoliano

How many movies have you seen where a director uses slow motion to emphasize big moments in action sequences?  How many times have you seen fools nearly break their necks trying to lean back as much as possible while dancing or horsing around?  How many times has someone asked you to take the red or the blue pill?  You can thank The Matrix ...


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REVIEW: Who Is Salt? One Kickass Chick in a Mediocre Flick

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 16, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 

Salt





Directed By: Philip Noyce

Starring: Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Daniel Olbrychski, and August Diehl

Angelina Jolie has really built a versatile career as an actress and filmmaker.  While she can hold her own in dramatic roles in films like A Mighty Heart and Changeling, she can also kick some asses in films like Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Wanted.  To top things off, she established herself as a burgeoning director with In the Land of Blood and Honey earlier this year. ...


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REVIEW: Good Luck Negotiating with Bryan Mills in Taken. That's One Badass Dude

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 16, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

Taken





Directed By: Pierre Morel

Starring: Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace, Leland Orser, Jon Gries, David Warshofsky, Katie Cassidy, Holly Valance, and Famke Janssen

"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I...


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REVIEW: Machete Don't Text, But He Does Open Up a Serious Can of Whoopass

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, August 1, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Machete





Directed By: Robert Rodriguez

Starring: Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Seagal, Lindsay Lohan, and Don Johnson

B movies can be good for the soul.  Every once in a while, it's good to see a flick with cheesy dialogue, ultra violence, and gratuitous sex.  While that sounds like most of the crap Hollywood puts out today, I'm talking about a special kind of film — not a movie that sucks because of these qualities but one that thrives on them.  I'm talk...
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REVIEW: If You Open Your Mind, Total Recall Can Rock Your World

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, July 25, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Total Recall





Directed By: Paul Verhoeven

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rachel Ticotin, Sharon Stone, Michael Ironside, and Ronny Cox

"You!  You're the same. No matter where you go, there you are.  It's always the same old you.  Let me suggest that you take a vacation from yourself.  I-I know it sounds wild.  It is the latest thing in travel.  We call it the Ego Trip."
-Bob McClane (Ray Baker)

Sometimes, your enjoyment of a movie depends completely on your ability to suspend your disbelief of th...
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REVIEW: Operation Blackbriar May Be a Failure for the CIA, But It's a Success for The Bourne Ultimatum

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, July 25, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
The Bourne Ultimatum





Directed By: Paul Greengrass

Starring: Matt Damon, Julia Stiles, David Strathairn, Scott Glenn, Paddy Considine, Édgar Ramirez, Albert Finney, and Joan Allen

2006 and 2007 were really great years for action movies in general.  We had Casino Royale, Mission: Impossible III, Live Free or Die Hard, and The Bourne Ultimatum all released in a little more than a year.  With all these films being released within a little more than a year of one another, it's needless to say that P...
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REVIEW: Jason Bourne Has to Beat the CIA at Its Own Game One More Time in The Bourne Supremacy. He Doesn't Have a Choice.

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, July 18, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
The Bourne Supremacy





Directed By: Paul Greengrass

Starring: Matt Damon, Brian Cox, Julia Stiles, Joan Allen, and Karl Urban

The Bourne Identity cemented Matt Damon's status as a viable action star.  Damon was no longer just a dramatic actor who could play genius janitors or fallen angels.  He was a badass spy who could handle himself.  By the time The Bourne Supremacy came rolling into theaters, we were ready for the next chapter in the Jason Bourne saga.  Happily, I can say that Matt Damon deli...
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REVIEW: The Malfunctioning $30 Million Weapon is Kicking Some Serious Ass in The Bourne Identity

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, July 17, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
The Bourne Identity





Directed By: Doug Liman

Starring: Matt Damon, Franka Potente, Chris Cooper, Clive Owen, Brian Cox, Julia Stiles, and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje

"You're worried about a budget meeting?  If we don't take care of this, we don't make it to the men's room.  We will burn for this.  We will both burn for this."
-Alexander Conklin (Chris Cooper)


In the world of spy movies, there are three guys who have burnt more baddies than anyone else — James Bond, Ethan Hunt, and Jason Bourne.  Th...
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REVIEW: Spider-Man 3 Is Just Too Much. It's Just Too Much

Posted by James Brown on Friday, June 22, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Spider-Man 3





Directed By: Sam Raimi
 
Starring: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Thomas Haden Church, Topher Grace, Bryce Dallas Howard, Rosemary Harris, and J.K. Simmons
 
The bar was set high for Sam Raimi after the towering successes of Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2, two of the greatest comic book movies of all time.  How do you come up with a story and a film great enough to at least match its predecessors?  Admittedly, it's a daunting task for any director.  In trying to outdo himsel...
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REVIEW: The Courageous, Self-Sacrificing Peter Parker Sets an Example For Us All in Spider-Man 2

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, June 21, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Spider-Man 2





Directed By: Sam Raimi

Starring: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Alfred Molina, Rosemary Harris, J.K. Simmons, Daniel Gillies, and Dylan Baker

"Sometimes we have to be steady and give up the thing we want the most, even our dreams."
-Aunt May (Rosemary Harris)


With the commercial and critical success of Spider-Man, a sequel was inevitable.  Hollywood was undoubtedly going to keep this cash cow alive.  The only problem was that they had to follow up one of the greatest comi...
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REVIEW: Our Friendly Neighborhood Spidey Slings His Way to Greatness in Spider-Man

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, June 13, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Spider-Man





Directed By: Sam Raimi

Starring: Tobey Maguire, Willem Dafoe, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Cliff Roberts, Rosemary Harris, and J.K. Simmons

"In spite of everything you've done for them, eventually they will hate you."
-The Green Goblin (Willem Dafoe)

Superheroes do the impossible.  They are legendary men and women who do what the rest of us can't.  For this, we both love and hate them.  We put them on pedestals as gods among men.  At the same time, we label them as vigilantes and relent...
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REVIEW: Smarter Aliens and a Ripley Clone Can't Hide the Money-Hungry Desperation Fueling Alien Resurrection

Posted by James Brown on Friday, June 1, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Alien Resurrection





Directed By: Jean-Pierre Jeunet

Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Winona Ryder, Ron Perlman, Dominique Pinon, Gary Dourdan, Michael Wincott, Brad Dourif, Leland Orser, Dan Hedaya, J. E. Freeman, Kim Flowers, and Raymond Cruz

Sometimes it's abundantly clear when Hollywood is trying to make a quick buck.  There are some movies that are just so unnecessary that you're just left wondering why.  After Alien 3, who would've thought that another Alien film centering on the character of Ell...
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REVIEW: The Colonial Marines Get Their Asses Handed to Them by Some Badass Extraterrestrials in James Cameron’s Aliens

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 26, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Aliens





Directed By: James Cameron

Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Carrie Henn, Michael Biehn, Lance Henriksen, William Hope, and Paul Reiser

The 1979 classic Alien was such a landmark film in the sci-fi genre that many imitators and copycats followed.  It took seven years for an official sequel to be released.  By then, 20th Century Fox had hired a new director, future king of the world James Cameron, to direct the movie.  After the success of the 1984 The Terminator, Cameron decided to take a diffe...
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REVIEW: Men in Black II — Needs Work Fellows, Needs Work

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Friday, May 25, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Men in Black II
SoberFilmChick




Directed By: Barry Sonnenfeld

Starring: Tommy Lee Jones, Will Smith, Lara Flynn Boyle, Johnny Knoxville, Rosario Dawson, Tony Shalhoub, Patrick Warburton, and Rip Torn

In part 2 of our retro review series on the Men in Black franchise, we turn to Men in Black II.  The original Men in Black film is a creative, smart science fiction comedy.  However, as I watched Men in Black II, all that came to mind was a line from the movie Lean on Me.  There is a scene in the film...
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REVIEW: Everything Burns in the Joker's Gotham, But We Have a Silent Guardian and Watchful Protector in The Dark Knight

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, May 13, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
The Dark Knight





Directed By: Christopher Nolan

Starring: Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Heath Ledger, Gary Oldman, Aaron Eckhart, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Morgan Freeman

"You'll hunt me.  You'll condemn me, set the dogs on me.   Because that's what needs to happen.  Because sometimes... the truth isn't good enough.   Sometimes people deserve more.  Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded."
-Batman (Christian Bale)


Once in a long while there comes a movie that changes the way you look a...
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REVIEW: Mr. Wayne Embraces His Fears, and the Legend of Batman Begins

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 12, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Batman Begins





Directed By: Christopher Nolan

Starring: Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Liam Neeson, Katie Holmes, Gary Oldman, Cillian Murphy, Morgan Freeman, Tom Wilkinson, and Ken Watanabe

"If you make yourself more than just a man, if you devote yourself to an ideal and if they can't stop you, you become something else entirely – a legend, Mister Wayne."
-Henri Ducard (Liam Neeson)


With summer 2012 heralding the reboot of the Spider-Man franchise, I feel like déjà vu. All I hear is that five...
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REVIEW: Patience Phillips May Land on Her Feet, But Catwoman Lands Flat on Its Ass

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 12, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Catwoman





Directed By: Pitof

Starring: Halle Berry, Benjamin Bratt, Sharon Stone, Lambert Wilson, Frances Conroy, and Alex Borstein

After Michelle Pfeiffer's seductive and fiery performance as Catwoman in Batman Returns, there was talk of a spinoff film about the feisty feline starring Pfeiffer and directed by Batman Returns director Tim Burton.  With Batman Forever taking a lighter turn and Joel Schumacher taking Burton's place in the director's chair, the chances of the spinoff happening with B...
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REVIEW: The Heat Is On. Clooney and Schwarzenegger Need to Get Out of the Kitchen in Batman & Robin.

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, May 6, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Batman & Robin





Directed By: Joel Schumacher

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, George Clooney, Chris O'Donnell, Uma Thurman, Alicia Silverstone, Pat Hingle, and Michael Gough

The on-screen role of Batman was cursed back in the 90s.  Batman was like the Defense against the Dark Arts post at Hogwarts.  Each live action Batman film was headlined by a different guy, and this became increasingly to the detriment of the series.  Michael Keaton reprised his role as the Caped Crusader in the spectacular B...
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REVIEW: Men in Black — Nothing Beats the Original

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, May 5, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Men in Black
SoberFilmChick




Directed By: Barry Sonnenfeld

Starring: Tommy Lee Jones, Will Smith, Linda Fiorentino, Vincent D’Onofrio, Rip Torn, and Tony Shalhoub

In light of Men in Black III’s upcoming release, STMR is doing a retro review series on the MIB trilogy.  We begin with the original 1997 film, Men in Black.  I must confess that I am a long time Will Smith fan.  I grew up watching The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and listening to “Summertime”.  His transition from a teenage rapper to...
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REVIEW: Warner Bros. Killed the Bat We Loved in Batman Forever

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 29, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Batman Forever





Directed By: Joel Schumacher

Starring: Val Kilmer, Tommy Lee Jones, Jim Carrey, Nicole Kidman, and Chris O'Donnell

Batman may be the most successful superhero of all time at the box office.  For a time though in the 90s, he was the worst managed hero.  After the magnificent films Batman and Batman Returns directed by the imaginative Tim Burton, Warner Bros. decided that they wanted this superhero franchise to be more “family-oriented”.  Apparently, a few little weak kids went ...
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REVIEW: Batman Returns Helps Us Find the Man Behind the Bat & the Woman Behind the Cat

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, April 24, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Batman Returns





Directed By: Tim Burton

Starring: Michael Keaton, Danny DeVito, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Christopher Walken

Later this year in The Dark Knight Rises, Anne Hathaway has the hardest job of all.  She's got to be Catwoman.  She's got to grab some skin-tight vinyl and a whip and bring out a dark, seductive side in her we've never quite seen on screen.  It couldn't be a more fitting year for this.  While 2012 marks the epic conclusion to the legend of the Dark Knight, it also marks the 20...
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REVIEW: Did You Ever Dance with the Devil in the Pale Moonlight? Vicki Vale Did in Batman. His Name was Joker.

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 22, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Batman





Directed By: Tim Burton

Starring: Jack Nicholson, Michael Keaton, Kim Basinger, Robert Wuhl, Pat Hingle, Billy Dee Williams, Michael Gough, and Jack Palance

With the excitement over the upcoming epic motion picture event The Dark Knight Rises, it's definitely worthwhile to revisit some of the older Batman films.  Before talk of Bane, Catwoman, and the Dark Knight himself reaches a fever pitch in the coming months, we need to talk about the movies that laid the foundation for films like TD...
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REVIEW: Riggs is a Daddy-To-Be & Murtaugh is a Granddaddy-To-Be. Lethal Weapon 4 Proves That It's Time for the Original Buddy Cops to Retire

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 22, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Lethal Weapon 4





Directed By: Richard Donner

Starring: Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Rene Russo, Chris Rock, and Jet Li

By the time Lethal Weapon 4 came rolling into theaters in 1998, the focus of the films had changed a bit.  The 90s had been good to Mel Gibson.  Because of the success of films like Braveheart, Gibson was unquestionably the main attraction of any film in which he starred at that time.  That's why Lethal Weapon 4 was the Mel Gibson Show featuring guest stars Danny Glover, ...
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REVIEW: Tony Stark May Be on the Highway to Hell, But Iron Man 2 Is Clearly on the Highway to The Avengers

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, April 19, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Iron Man 2





Directed By: Jon Favreau

Starring: Robert Downey, Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Scarlett Johansson, Mickey Rourke, and Samuel L. Jackson

The Marvel Cinematic Universe has really become something to behold.  It's something really special in the world of blockbuster filmmaking.  Marvel is doing solo films for a number of superheroes and then bringing them together as a team in the 2012 flick The Avengers.  The hero who led the pack and introduced this universe to moviegoers was Iro...
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REVIEW: As Iron Man, Billionaire Playboy Tony Stark Becomes a Superhero We All Can Love

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, April 18, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Iron Man





Directed By: Jon Favreau

Starring: Robert Downey, Jr., Terrence Howard, Jeff Bridges, and Gwyneth Paltrow

Every once in awhile, a film comes along that changes the game.  It's so refreshing and innovative that you can't be anything but impressed by it.  More often than not, you don't see it coming.   It's the film you would least expect to be revolutionary that changes everything.  Just take a look at Iron Man for example.  You would never expect some B-list Marvel superhero to step up ...
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REVIEW: Mr. Green Steps Up His Game in The Incredible Hulk

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, April 18, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
The Incredible Hulk





Directed By: Louis Leterrier

Starring: Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth, and William Hurt

Back in 2003, Hulk was an absolute disaster.  The film did anything but justice to the big green menace, and there was a backlash from fans.  That's why the 2008 film The Incredible Hulk seems nothing like its predecessor.  Universal has brought in a new director, a new Hulk, and an entirely new cast.  They wanted to distance themselves from the painful memories from Hulk.  I can happi...
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REVIEW: Riggs May Be Chaos & Murtaugh May Be Mayhem, But Lethal Weapon 3 Has Lost A Little Bit of Its Edge

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, April 17, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Lethal Weapon 3





Directed By: Richard Donner

Starring: Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Rene Russo, Stuart Wilson, and Joe Pesci

By the time 1992 came rolling around, Lethal Weapon was well-established as the premier buddy cop franchise.  After the successes of Lethal Weapon and Lethal Weapon 2, Richard Donner, Mel Gibson, and Danny Glover had nothing to prove.  Nonetheless, Lethal Weapon 3 happened.  To make things interesting in this third time around, we have a new cast member in Rene Russo.

Riggs (Gi...
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REVIEW: Hulk Is Nowhere Near As Incredible As It Could Be. Are You Getting Angry?

Posted by James Brown on Monday, April 16, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Hulk





Directed By: Ang Lee

Starring: Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliott, Josh Lucas, and Nick Nolte

Back in 2003, we were just getting started in this era of annual big budget action flicks featuring superheroes from Marvel Comics.  With the successes of X-Men, Spider-Man, and X2: X-Men United, everybody was expecting Hulk to do big things.  In the 2003 film Hulk, we wanted to see the big green angry man be incredible on the big screen.  Unfortunately, director Ang Lee takes us on a tour o...
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REVIEW: Riggs and Murtaugh Bring the House Down in Lethal Weapon 2...Literally

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 14, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Lethal Weapon 2





Directed By: Richard Donner

Starring: Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Joss Ackland, Derrick O'Connor, and Patsy Kensit

The first Lethal Weapon film set such a high standard for the modern action thriller that Lethal Weapon 2 had quite an unenviable task.  Following up a future classic is always a tall order.  As history tells us though, Richard Donner, Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, and others rose to the occasion and delivered another great action thriller that has stood the tes...
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REVIEW: Riggs and Murtaugh are the Original Buddy Cops in Lethal Weapon

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 8, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Lethal Weapon





Directed By: Richard Donner

Starring: Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Gary Busey, Mitchell Ryan, and Tom Atkins

Mel Gibson has really screwed up his career.  For a long time, he was the premier action star of his generation.  Having starred in countless classic action flicks, it's unfortunate to see how far he's fallen because of his incendiary comments in drunken, abusive tirades.  Gibson is now reduced to releasing films on Video-On-Demand as opposed to in theaters. 

What the hell happ...
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REVIEW: Danny McBride Straps a Bomb to 30 Minutes or Less But Somehow Doesn't Blow the Damn Movie Up with His Crude, Humorless Nonsense

Posted by James Brown on Friday, April 6, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
30 Minutes or Less





Directed By: Ruben Fleischer

Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Danny McBride, Aziz Ansari, and Nick Swardson

I've never been a big fan of Danny McBride.  There's a thin line between funny vulgarity and pointless crudity.  McBride crosses that line time and time again in his effort to be overtly raunchy.  He just drops four-letter words and any kind of reference to sex without any real purpose.  That kind of nonsense is not comedy.  Unfortunately, we have to deal with this crap in the...
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REVIEW: "You're Killin' Me". Bruce Willis is the Modern Day Clint Eastwood, and 16 Blocks Shows Us Just Why

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 31, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
16 Blocks





Directed By: Richard Donner

Starring: Bruce Willis, Mos Def, David Morse, Cylk Cozart, and Casey Sander

Bruce Willis and Clint Eastwood have a lot in common.  They are both iconic action movie stars that defined their generations.  They've both starred in classic films that will live on for ages.  They both have this unique charm that allows them to turn grumpy old assholes into lovable characters on the big screen.  They both can get away with ridiculously cheesy lines like "You're ki...
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REVIEW: Clash of the Titans Is a Clash Between Great Action and Bad Acting

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, March 27, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Clash of the Titans





Directed By: Louis Leterrier

Starring: Sam Worthington, Gemma Arterton, Mads Mikkelsen, Alexa Davalos, Ralph Fiennes, and Liam Neeson

With Wrath of the Titans being released this weekend, it's the perfect time to revisit the 2010 remake that started it all.  When the movie hit theaters a couple of years ago, it got panned by critics.  Nonetheless, the movie made big bucks at the office.  With studio execs having fatter wallets, there was no doubt that there was going to be a ...
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REVIEW: Hanna Is a Damn Good Hunter

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 17, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Hanna





Directed By: Joe Wright

Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Eric Bana, Tom Hollander, Olivia Williams, Jason Flemyng, and Cate Blanchett


I admire hunters.  I'm not talking about those guys that just pull out a gun and shoot their prey.  I'm talking about hunters who have to track and kill their prey by much more challenging means.  By going out in the wilderness and braving the elements, they do what most of us don't.  By pursuing their prey and taking life without question, they do what most of us w...
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REVIEW: Fast Five Breathes Life into The Fast and The Furious Franchise

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 17, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Fast Five





Directed By: Justin Lin

Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Matt Schulze, Sung Kang, Gal Gadot, Tego Calderon, Don Omar, Elsa Pataky, and Joaquim de Almeida

Unless you're dealing with Harry Potter, James Bond, or a very entertaining serial killer, the fifth installment in a film series is typically a long shot for any franchise.  Hell, most series don't make it past three or four installments.  For rea...
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REVIEW: Sucker Punch Wrote a Check With Its Mouth Its Ass Couldn't Cash

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, March 1, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Sucker Punch





Directed By: Zack Snyder

Starring: Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Jena Malone, Vanessa Hudgens, Jamie Chung, Carla Gugino, Oscar Isaac, Jon Hamm, and Scott Glenn


Hot girls and cool action sequences are not always a cool one-two punch combo for decent popcorn fare.  For every Transformers, there are 99 other films that absolutely sucked.  Zack Snyder's Sucker Punch falls into the category of the crappy 99%.  Snyder substitutes sexy women and elaborate visuals for a coherent story and...
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REVIEW: The Mechanic Kicks Ass But Also Kicks Itself

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 25, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
The Mechanic





Directed By: Simon West

Starring: Jason Statham and Ben Foster


Action movies are a dime a dozen, and I'm hardly impressed by most of them these days.  Some decent ass-kicking just doesn't get the job done for me anymore.  We've all seen a million movies about lonely cops, corrupt spies, or betrayed assassins.  We need something fresh and innovative to add a new page to the action movie playbook.  We need to make ass-kicking awesome again.  Unfortunately, Jason Statham's The Mechanic...
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REVIEW: Pirates Has Lost a Little Luster, But It Can Still Light Up the Big Screen with Some Swashbuckling Action

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 12, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides





Directed By: Rob Marshall

Starring: Johnny Depp, Penélope Cruz, Geoffrey Rush, Ian McShane, and Kevin McNally

Hollywood has a nasty habit of killing its best franchises.  Releasing sequel after sequel, they keep piling on the movies long after they've run out of worthwhile stories to tell.  In 2011 alone, there were 27 sequels.  Studios' never ending chase of the almighty dollar has programmed viewers to see most sequels these days as crap.  There are...
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REVIEW: Bacon and Fassbender Save an Otherwise Mediocre Film in X-Men: First Class

Posted by Zach Davis on Tuesday, February 7, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
X-Men: First Class
Zach Davis




Directed by: Matthew Vaughn

Starring: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Rose Byrne, January Jones, Oliver Platt, and Kevin Bacon

X-Men: First Class is Matthew Vaughn’s fourth time out as a director.  After having made Layercake, Stardust, and Kick-Ass, First Class marks the first time he has worked with a budget of more than $100 million.  The problem with First Class is a common one amongst comic book movies.  Vaughn tries to force too much trivia into the film.

As...
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REVIEW: Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace – A Slow Start

Posted by Mary Dieng on Sunday, February 5, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace
Mary Dieng




Directed By: George Lucas

Starring: Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Jake Lloyd, Ian McDiarmid, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker, Pernilla August, and Frank Oz

In honor of the re-release of the Star Wars movies in 3D, STMR is doing a Retro Review series on the franchise.  When I found out that I was tasked with the honor of reviewing these classics, my inner geek squealed with delight.  What child of the ‘80’s wouldn’t be thrilled...
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REVIEW: The Adjustment Bureau Could Use a Few Adjustments

Posted by James Brown on Friday, February 3, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
The Adjustment Bureau





Directed By: George Nolfi

Starring: Matt Damon, Emily Blunt, Terence Stamp, Anthony Mackie, John Slattery, Michael Kelly, and Anthony Ruivivar


I'm a huge fan of Matt Damon.  He's one of the great actors of his generation and has given me some of my favorite films including Good Will Hunting, The Departed, and The Bourne Ultimatum.  He's destined for great things and will definitely have his name etched in cinematic history some day.  He just needs to find that career-defini...
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REVIEW: Inception is Every Movie Lover's Dream Come True

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, February 1, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Inception





Directed By: Christopher Nolan

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Ken Watanabe, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cotillard, Ellen Page, Tom Hardy, Dileep Rao, Cilian Murphy, Tom Berenger, and Michael Caine

Every once in a while, a blockbuster comes along that changes everything.  Just think of movies like Star Wars, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Jurassic Park, The Matrix, and Avatar.  These films were all game changers that pushed big budget filmmaking to the next level.  In its own way, each film...
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REVIEW: The Eagle Lands, Albeit in a Crash Landing

Posted by Zach Davis on Sunday, January 29, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
The Eagle
Zach Davis




Directed by: Kevin Macdonald

Starring: Channing Tatum, Jamie Bell, Donald Sutherland, and Mark Strong

Kevin Macdonald is mostly known for documentary pieces, and The Eagle marks his third time behind the camera for a non-documentary feature film.  His previous works include The Last King of Scotland and State of Play.  With this in mind, hiring a director that specializes in documentary filmmaking is a mistake that takes away from the story of the film.  Documentarians are no...
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REVIEW: Unknown is Unimpressive

Posted by Zach Davis on Sunday, January 29, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Unknown
Zach Davis




Directed by: Jaume Collet-Serra

Starring: Liam Neeson, Diane Kruger, January Jones, Aidan Quinn, Bruno Ganz, and Frank Langella

Movies are a safe haven for the unbelievable and the impossible, and this should never change.  Some movies can take these two things too far, and Unknown is a guilty party in that respect.  Jaume Collet-Serra’s Unknown works around an interesting premise but delivers a predictable plot that gets quite ridiculous at times.  This Liam Neeson action ve...
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REVIEW: Kick-Ass Lives Up To Its Name

Posted by Daneeka Abellard on Thursday, January 26, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Kick-Ass
Daneeka Abellard




Directed By: Matthew Vaughn

Starring: Aaron Johnson, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Chloë Grace Moretz, Mark Strong, and Nicolas Cage

"It didn't take a trauma or cosmic rays or a power ring to make a superhero. It's just a perfect combination of optimism and naïveté."-Dave Lizewski

Kick-Ass helps answer the question ‘what if a completely average guy really tried the superhero thing’. High school student and comic book junkie, Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) is that guy. I...
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REVIEW: Speed Hits the Brakes A Few Times, But It’s Still a Fun Ride

Posted by Daneeka Abellard on Thursday, January 26, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Speed
Daneeka Abellard




Directed By: Jan de Bont

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Dennis Hopper, Sandra Bullock, Jeff Daniels, Joe Morton, Alan Ruck, and Glenn Plummer

Speed is definitely a classic action film with an interesting premise. After Officer Jack Traven (Keanu Reaves) thwarts expert bomber Howard Payne (Dennis Hopper), Payne decides to get some revenge. He sets up a little game in which a city bus in Los Angeles will explode if Jack loses. Now, there are many ways to lose this game concocted by...
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