Retro Reviews - Sobriety Test Movie Reviews

REVIEW: Daredevil (2003), The Blind Saviour Of Hell's Kitchen

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 13, 2016

Daredevil

Directed By: Mark Steven Johnson

Starring: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Colin Farrell, Michael Clarke Duncan, Jon Favreau

Now that Daredevil has taken off on Netflix as arguably Marvel Studios' greatest triumph outside of the cinema, the character of Matt Murdock is squarely in the limelight. Known from comic lore as a blind lawyer with enhanced, sonar-like abilities and keenly honed martial arts skills, Murdock is to Hell's Kitchen what Spider-Man is to Manhattan as a whole. But w...

REVIEW: On the Roadway to An Apocalyptic Future Courtesy of SkyNet, Terminator 2 Says Hasta La Vista to Judgement Day

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, March 22, 2015 In : 0.00% Water

Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Directed By: James Cameron

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Robert Patrick, and Edward Furlong

I'm sure that many of you who are reading this post are fans of James Cameron's 2009 blockbuster Avatar. The film did gross more than $2.7 billion at the box office and has no money-making equal in the modern era of film. It has no sequel either, yet. Fans have waited six years but must wait at least another two to return to Pandora. This is not the least...
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REVIEW: Ignoring the Butterfly Effect & Chasing the Great White Buffalo, Let's Get It Started in the 80s With A Hot Tub Time Machine & Chernobly

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, March 22, 2015 In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Hot Tub Time Machine

Directed By: Steve Pink

Starring: John Cusack, Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson, Clark Duke, Crispin Glover, Lizzy Caplan, Lyndsy Fonseca, and Chevy Chase

I love movies from the 80s. Despite the poor fashion and cheesy pop culture that partially characterizes the decade, there's something about the movies of the era that's always resonated with me. Perhaps that's why I love Hot Tub Time Machine. Steve Pink's wild and playful time travel comedy may not be perfect, but it's an u...
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REVIEW: On Your Feet Soldier! The Future Is Not Set With Cyberdyne Model 101, AKA The Terminator, Hunting Down Sarah Connor With a Phone Book

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, March 22, 2015 In : 0.00% Water

The Terminator

Directed By: James Cameron

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Biehn, Linda Hamilton, and Paul Winfield

"Thank you, Sarah, for your courage through the dark years. I can't help you with what you must soon face, except to say that the future is not set. You must be stronger than you imagine you can be. You must survive, or I will never exist."
-Kyle Reese (Michael Biehn)

Very few films, especially franchise installments, leave an indelible mark on the cinematic landscape. If...
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REVIEW: With A Spinosaurus, A Pterodactyl, & Kirby Enterprises, Jurassic Park III Crashes & Burns Returning to Isla Sorna

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, January 20, 2015 In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Jurassic Park III

Directed By: Joe Johnston

Starring: Sam Neill, William H. Macy, Téa Leoni, Alessandro Nivola, Trevor Morgan, and Michael Jeter

The hardest reality for a Hollywood studio executive to face is that some of the best movies don't require sequels. Some of the finest in blockbuster cinema include those films that remain untarnished by needless follow-ups. These films stand on their own. Though there are few films that meet this standard anymore, they do exist. The quintessential...
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REVIEW: When Life Finds a Way on Lost World Isla Sorna, InGen Takes Jurassic Park to San Diego Forgetting the Parental Instincts of a T-Rex

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, January 18, 2015 In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Lost World: Jurassic Park

Directed By: Steven Spielberg

Starring: Jeff Goldblum, Julianne Moore, Pete Postlethwaite, Vince Vaughn, Arliss Howard, Richard Schiff, and Richard Attenborough

Life will find a way. That's always been one of my favorite movie quotes because it resonates with so much of what we know about evolution and how species rise and fall in our ecosystem. Jurassic Park will forever be a classic that puts the Darwinian notion of survival of the fittest to the ultimate test o...
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REVIEW: Oh Captain! My Captain! Mr. John Keating & His Dead Poets Society Seize the Day & Contribute Their Verse to Cinematic History (Carpe Diem)

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 14, 2014 In : 0.00% Water

Dead Poets Society

Directed By: Peter Weir

Starring: Robin Williams, Robert Sean Leonard, Ethan Hawke, Josh Charles, Gale Hansen, Norman Lloyd, Kurtwood Smith, Dylan Kussman, and James Waterston

Ethan Hawke has had a great last couple of years. He starred in Richard Linklater's critical darling Before Midnight. He also found commercial success in The Purge in 2013. He even had a supporting role in Linklater's coming-of-age masterpiece Boyhood earlier this year. With Robin Williams's passing ...
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REVIEW: Good Morning, Vietnam!!! Radio Broadcaster Adrian Cronauer Is Bringing A Little Levity to Saigon, As Well As Some James Brown

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, September 13, 2014 In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Good Morning, Vietnam

Directed By: Barry Levinson

Starring: Robin Williams, Forest Whitaker, Tung Thanh Tran, Chintara Sukapatana, Bruno Kirby, Robert Wuhl, and J. T. Walsh

With President Obama waging war against ISIS, ISIL, or whatever the hell these nutcases call themselves, one hard reality that a handful of men and women in the service are facing today is that they're headed back over to the Middle East. That's a tough hand to be dealt, and I have to commend those brave few who will take on...
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REVIEW: At a Bus Stop, Forrest Gump Tells People How He's Run Through Football Fields, Vietnam, & the Shrimp Boating Business All For Jenny

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, September 13, 2014 In : 0.00% Water

Forrest Gump

Directed By: Robert Zemeckis

Starring: Tom Hanks, Robin Wright, Gary Sinise, Mykelti Williamson, and Sally Field

"Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, sauté it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwic...
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REVIEW: Drinking No Coffee, Fumbling Dumplings, & Fleeing the Red Knight, Janitor of God Parry Helps The Fisher King Jack Lucas Find the Holy Grail

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, September 11, 2014 In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

The Fisher King

Directed By: Terry Gilliam

Starring: Robin Williams, Jeff Bridges, Mercedes Ruehl, Amanda Plummer, and Michael Jeter

Like many, I'm revisiting the filmography of Robin Williams as we close out the summer. With this in mind, I'm sure those of you who follow me have picked up on a pattern. I'm tackling Williams' more dramatic turns on the big screen. While I love him as a comedian, it's his comedic charms that make him such a standout in a dramatic setting. He was able to chann...